


Yellow

by txrches



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2015-05-21
Packaged: 2018-03-29 01:12:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 86,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3876733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/txrches/pseuds/txrches
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lauren Jauregui hated Camila Cabello, plain and simple. Of course, who could blame her? Camila had been the one who read Lauren's private texts in front of the whole cafeteria, forcing her out of the closet. Lauren left for New York with her three best friends the day she graduated, thinking she had escaped Camila. The only problem is, Camila is back. And different. Completely different. Not the kind of 'different' you'd expect, either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. one

Lauren had never loved the city. Everything was so busy and she was only one person. She could never keep up with all of the commotion happening 24 hours a day. But the New York Academy of Art was her dream school, and when she'd gotten accepted, she decided she could deal with living in the city. After all, she was living alongside her three best friends. Everyone assumed Lauren was living the dream.

Which she was, no doubt. After living in Miami for so long, Lauren was itching to get out. That's why immediately following her graduation, she took off into the sunset and arrived in New York City the next day.

Moving to New York had been a dream she shared with her three best friends. Lauren, Ally, Dinah, and Normani had all grown close in their freshman year of high school after working backstage on the school's production of _'The Little Mermaid.'_ When their junior year came around, they saved up enough money, sent in their college applications, and realized that they could actually make their dream a reality.

And now here they were, two months into the fall semester of their first year of college. Lauren loved how her life was turning out, but she couldn't help but feel increasingly lonely. It's not like she didn't have friends, because she had plenty of them. There was just something missing.

Her sophomore year, news had got out that Lauren was gay. She'd expected her three best friends to turn away from her, but surprisingly they could care less. They stood by her side during the incessant bullying she received. Lauren was forever grateful for her roommates. Without them, she'd be nowhere near as happy as she was now.

But in some ways, her sexuality held her back. It wasn't exactly hard to come across another lesbian, especially in New York, but Lauren was extremely inexperienced when it came to any type of relationship. So out of fear, she kept to herself.

The moment she pushed the door to their shared industrial apartment open, Lauren was greeted by her three roommates. Or should she say two, considering Ally was asleep on the couch. Normani and Dinah looked up from their phones and smiled in greeting to the dark haired girl.

"You'll never guess what happened today," Dinah gushed, forgetting about her phone and following Lauren into the kitchen. "You remember that cute foreign kid in my hip hop class?" she asked, but didn't wait for Lauren to respond. "He asked me for my number!" The Polynesian girl clapped her hands together excitedly and Lauren couldn't help but laugh.

"I didn't doubt you for a second when you told me you'd make it happen," Lauren teased, letting her backpack slip off of her shoulder and onto the floor by the doorway.

Dinah crinkled her nose at her roommate and hopped up onto the counter. "So what's for dinner, Lo?"

Rolling her eyes, Lauren sighed. "You couldn't have befriended a culinary major? That would've done us all a favor. I'm tired of being the only one who knows how to cook." She opened the pantry, scanning to see what she could throw together and call a meal.

"I got it!" Dinah called, causing Lauren to turn around in confusion. She hadn't even heard anything. Forgetting about dinner, she followed the other girl towards the door. Dinah's face held an unreadable expression when she opened the door, and Lauren instantly grew confused. They rarely got visitors, and when they did it was usually someone at the wrong apartment.

"Hi!" the cheery voice rang out from behind the door. Lauren instantly felt sick to her stomach. She jogged over to Dinah's side to make sure she wasn't hallucinating. And she sure wasn't.

"Camila Cabello?" Dinah asked. She was just as confused as Lauren was. Normani quickly came up behind them, too, glancing at Lauren with concern in her eyes. They all knew how Lauren felt about Camila.

The truth is, Lauren hadn't come out in high school. She'd been outed by the girl standing right in front of them. Camila Cabello, also known as the most popular girl at their high school. She was head cheerleader, prom queen, leading role in every school play. You name it, Camila had done it. Everyone knew her name.

"Yes," the small girl on the other side of the door nodded once, confirming who it was. When she didn't say anything else, the three roommates exchanged glances.

"I'll wake up Ally," Normani said. All three of them knew the oldest girl was the best at being friendly. Lauren couldn't believe the girl she hated with every fiber of her being was now standing at the door of her apartment, seemingly oblivious to everything she'd done to her. Dinah and Normani knew exactly how much Lauren resented the small girl. None of them had expected to see her again once they left Florida.

But now here she was, smiling like an idiot and trying to crane her neck to see into their apartment. Lauren and Dinah looked at one another, stepping aside when Normani and Ally came back over to the doorway. Ally still appeared to be half asleep, but she quickly snapped out of her daze when she saw the other girl at the doorway.

"What?" she asked, looking at Camila and then back at her roommates. "What's going on?" Lauren shrugged, and Dinah and Normani raised their eyebrows, as if to silently say they were just as confused as she was.

"Was there something you needed?" Ally asked, turning back to Camila, who still stood in the doorway with a smile on her face. Lauren found it quite weird.

"Oh, yeah, that," the smaller girl giggled and pursed her lips for a moment. "I need a bed." She slipped past Ally and into the apartment, standing in the middle of the giant room and spinning in a circle to take it all in. "Do you have one of those?"

Dinah closed the door, shooting Lauren a questioning look. All four girls turned to one another, keeping an eye on their old classmate.

"What the hell?" Lauren was the first to speak up, keeping her voice low so Camila couldn't hear her. Camila seemed to be off in her own little world. She seemed... different. All four girls were confused. It was like she'd become a completely different person.

"Camila?" Ally spoke again, giving the girls a nod to try and tell them she could handle this. The shorter girl walked over to Camila, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Why do you need a bed? Where'd you come from?"

"My house," Camila shrugged. She seemed completely oblivious to the fact that the other girls in the room all had been at the receiving end of her reign of terror in high school. "Do you have a bed? I need one of those."

"Don't you have your own bed?" Ally asked. She shot the other girls a pleading look, realizing she couldn't handle this on her own. Normani and Dinah stepped forward but Lauren stayed back. She had too much build up resentment for the girl. She'd much rather leave Camila out in the hallway.

"Yeah, but I have to walk a long way to get it," Camila turned away from Ally and walked over to the couch, sitting down and picking up the TV remote. Normani turned back to Lauren and made a face of confusion.

"Don't mess with that," Dinah quickly took the remote from the small girl's hands and set it on the coffee table. "Camila, you need to go home," the Polynesian girl adopted a serious tone, standing directly in front of Camila and crossing her arms over her chest. After Camila had outed Lauren, Dinah had become increasingly protective of the green-eyed girl. She didn't know why Camila was back, and she didn't care to find out.

"But we're friends," Camila pouted, looking up at Dinah with pleading eyes. She pursed her lips in thought for a moment before raising her finger in the air, as if she'd come across a type of revelation. "Remember? We had chemistry together!"

Dinah raised an eyebrow. The girl was right, even though she'd only shown up to half of her classes, she remembered occasionally seeing Camila across the classroom. That didn't make them anything close to friends, though.

"Camila, you really need to go home," Dinah reiterated. She didn't wait for a response, instead she took the girl by the arm and pulled her up from the couch. Camila only giggled as Dinah led her over to the door and out into the hallway.

"I have to go home?"

"Yes," Dinah nodded, pointing towards the elevator down the hallway. Camila's smile finally faltered, but she didn't get a chance to respond before Dinah was closing the door in the small girl's face. She turned back to her roommates.

"What the hell was that?" Normani walked up beside Dinah and made sure the door was locked. All three girls knew what Camila had done to Lauren, and they knew she didn't deserve any of their hospitality.

"She was acting like an idiot," Lauren observed, laughing bitterly.

"She's right," Ally nodded. The oldest girl suddenly grew concerned. "She was acting strange."

Lauren shrugged and dismissed the thought. "She's probably drunk," she chuckled and walked back into the kitchen. "It's supposed to rain tonight," she added, trying to get her mind off of Camila. What had she been doing here? Lauren crinkled her nose, thinking back to when her high school life had taken a turn for the worse.

-

**_4 years ago_ **

_"It's funny because it's true, Lo," Dinah laughed from across the table. Lauren looked up from her food and stuck her tongue out at her friend._

_"There's no way he likes me," Lauren rolled her eyes. She looked back down at the table and bit her lip. "Plus, he's not even cute. I'm not into guys like that."_

_"Or maybe you're not into guys at all."_

_The voice from behind Lauren caused all four girls to look up from their phones. Except for Lauren, who realized her phone wasn't sitting next to her on the table like it usually was. There was a sinking feeling in her stomach and she turned around, knowing exactly who the voice belonged to._

_"That's interesting," Camila laughed, scrolling through the phone in her hands. Lauren's phone. "I knew you were gay, but I didn't know you were_ this _gay," she sneered, raising an eyebrow and looking up at Lauren._

_"Don't you dare, Cabello," Dinah shot up out of her seat. The Polynesian girl wasn't exactly sure what Camila was talking about, but she'd seen the look of horror on Lauren's face, and assumed this was something important. All the girls at the table had fallen victim to Camila Cabello at one point or another, and they knew how it felt._

_"You know, too?" Camila didn't seem at all afraid of the taller girl who was now hovering over her. She waved the phone in front of Dinah's face and turned away before she could snatch it out of her hands. By now, they'd drawn the attention of the cafeteria. It was as if all eyes were on them._

_"I don't know, Tori," Camila mocked Lauren's voice. Lauren's heart dropped into her chest when she realized what Camila had found. "I told him I was gay, and he seemed like he was okay with it. I don't know how I'm going to tell my mother, though," Camila read through Lauren's messages and laughed, rolling her eyes._

_"I knew it," Camila sneered. She tossed the phone in Lauren's direction and Normani had to dive out of her chair to catch the device before it fell to the ground. Lauren was still frozen._

_"What the hell, Cabello?" Dinah yelled after the girl, who was already walking back to her table where the other cheerleaders sat waiting for her. Just as Dinah was about to go after her, a dark blur whizzed past her and out of the cafeteria._

_Lauren took off down the hallway and into the upstairs bathroom, knowing it would be empty at this time of day. The tears fell freely as soon as she was alone. Lauren had only told one person that she was gay, besides her father. She'd met her friend Tori on an online chat board, and she was the one who'd encouraged her to talk to her dad. Luckily, her father had taken it well._

_Lauren wished the same could be said for the rest of her school. Except she'd never even had the chance to come out on her own. Camila had just done it for her. And Lauren definitely hadn't been ready._

_The dark-haired girl slid down with her back against the wall, and she let her head fall into her hands as the sobs rocked through her body. What was she going to do now? She felt sick when she imagined what everyone was saying about her right now. Even her best friends were going to hate her after this._

_Lauren flinched when she felt a hand on her shoulder. "Dinah?" she whispered, wiping her eyes and looking up at the girl standing above her._

_"C'mere," Dinah said softly, holding out her hand to help Lauren to her feet. Hesitantly, Lauren stood up. Seconds later, she was pulled into a tight hug. She felt two other pairs of arms wrap around her and couldn't hold back the second round of tears._

_"I'm s-s-sorry," she managed to say once she pulled away from the hug. Her three best friends stared back at her, looking extremely concerned._

_"Sorry for what?" Dinah asked, reaching out and placing a comforting hand on her friend's shoulder._

_"That," Lauren sighed, motioning in the direction of the cafeteria. "Me."_

_"You thought we'd be mad at you?" Ally spoke up, shock evident in her voice. Lauren nodded slowly and Ally couldn't help but laugh. "Lo, we don't care if you're gay, honestly, we're happy if you're happy."_

_The other two girls nodded in agreement and Lauren brought her hands up to cover her mouth. "You don't?"_

_"God, Laur, of course we don't care," Normani added. "You're still the same Lauren that you were before, screw Cabello and whatever she thinks."_

_Lauren gave them a sad smile. "Thank you guys," she whispered, and seconds later she was surrounded in a group hug. "And just so you know, I don't... you know, like any of you guys in that way."_

_"What?!" Dinah pulled away and pouted. "Why not? What's wrong with me?"_

_The girls in the bathroom all laughed and Dinah crossed her arms teasingly. Lauren wiped her eyes, trying to make it appear like she hadn't been crying. She felt an arm link with hers and looked over at Dinah with a soft smile._

_"Let's go show em' just who they're messing with, Jauregui."_

-

"What do you guys want for dinner?" Lauren bit her lip and sifted through the pantry, trying to push the bad memories to the back of her mind. She looked over at the other three girls and raised an eyebrow when she saw the unreadable expression on Ally's face.

"I wonder if she's okay," the oldest girl finally spoke up. Lauren rolled her eyes almost immediately. 

"She's either completely stoned, or drunk off her ass," Lauren ran a hand through her hair. "Or both, who knows. Just forget about her, that's what I'm doing." She grabbed a box of pasta and held it up for the other girls to see. "Does this work?"

"Only if it's cooked," Dinah teased, and Lauren threw the box at the younger girl. "Shut up," she laughed, pointing to the stove. "Make yourself useful and boil some water." The other girl raised a playful eyebrow at Lauren and set the box down on the counter, bending down to grab a pot from the bottom cabinets.

Dinah and Lauren made dinner while Normani and Ally busied themselves by blasting music throughout the apartment. Their apartment was essentially one big room. The living room, kitchen, and office were all in the main living area of the apartment. There were 4 bedrooms up the spiral staircase, and two bathrooms across the hall. 

"Dinner's ready!" Lauren called, banging a spoon against the pot of spaghetti so the other girls could hear over the music. Normani and Ally came running in, and Lauren handed them both their plates. The four girls grabbed their drinks and made their way into the living room, collapsing on the couch after a long day.

"It's Lauren's turn to pick," Dinah noted, pointing at the TV remote. Lauren set her plate down and took the remote from her roommate. She started searching through Netflix, trying to find something to watch. 

"Are you guys cool with Fr—?" Lauren paused when she saw that her roommates' attention wasn't on her. She raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Shhh," Ally whispered, raising a finger to her lips and then pointing to the door. "Do you hear that?"

Lauren grew silent and listened along with the other girls. Just as she was about to argue that she didn't hear anything, there was a quiet noise from the other side of the door. It sounded like... singing? "What is that?" she whispered, standing up from her spot on the couch. 

"Don't tell me it's—" Lauren was interrupted once more when Dinah, already at the door, waved her hand to tell Lauren to be quiet. She slowly opened the door and peered out into the hallway. The Polynesian girl's eyes widened when she saw Camila sitting in the hallway, leaning against the wall next to their door and humming softly to herself.

"What are you still doing here?" Dinah hissed at the smaller girl. Camila jumped, obviously unaware that she'd been spotted.

"I need a bed," Camila shrugged. Before Dinah could respond, she crawled under her legs and into the apartment, stumbling up to her feet and looking around happily. "Do you have a bed?"

Ally grabbed Dinah's arm and pulled her into the kitchen, along with the other girls. "Something's up," she said, glancing back at the girl who was now intently observing the TV remote. 

"She needs to leave," Lauren said firmly, loudly enough for Camila to hear her. She didn't care if something was wrong. She wanted her gone. She didn't want to offer any hospitality to the girl who had single-handedly made her life a living hell. "We can call the fucking cops or something."

"Lo," Ally shook her head. "Something's obviously wrong if she ended up here." She glanced at the two other girls, silently asking for some sort of help.

"We should at least try and figure out why she's here," Normani spoke up, placing a hand on Lauren's arm. "Then we can take her back home or something."

Dinah and Lauren looked at one another and Dinah sighed softly. "It's worth a try, I guess," she said, raising an eyebrow at Lauren, who shrugged. 

"Whatever," she mumbled. "I'm going to bed, I don't feel like dealing with her." Lauren pushed past the other girls and grabbed her backpack from next to the door. Moments later, her footsteps were heard, and her bedroom door shut with a  _bang_.

Camila stopped what she was doing to cover her ears and look around worriedly. The three roommates quickly exchanged glances before walking into the living room. Ally sat down on the couch next to Camila while Normani and Dinah remained standing.

"Where do you live, Camila?" Ally asked, turning and looking at the confused girl.

"Here," Camila smiled proudly, pointing to the couch and patting it gently. "This is my bed."

Dinah and Normani raised their eyebrows. Ally quickly shook her head. "You don't live here," she glanced at her other two roommates and then back to Camila. "Where did you come from?"

"The plane," Camila nodded, remembering what she had done earlier. "See?" she reached into her front pocket and frowned when she came up empty handed. Quickly, the small girl stood up and reached into her back pocket, giggling excitedly when she found what she was looking for. 

Ally took the crumpled up piece of paper from Camila and unfolded it, turning it around in her hands so it was right side up. She scanned the words and her jaw dropped. Noticing the change in her expression, Normani and Dinah crouched down next to her to read the writing on the paper. 

"A plane ticket?" Normani asked, turning to Camila. The girl nodded excitedly, practically bouncing up and down on the couch.

"I came to see my friends," she smiled, pointing to them with both of her fingers. "We had Chemistry together. I remember."

"Something's definitely up," Ally whispered to her roommates between gritted teeth. None of them had a clue what was going on. "Camila, how did you know where we lived?"

Camila thought for a moment, petting her hand on her knee and feeling the material of her jeans. "This," she suddenly realized, reaching into her other pocket and handing her phone to Ally. The oldest girl studied the iPhone, unlocking it to see a picture of Camila and two other cheerleaders. 

"Are these your friends?" she asked, holding out the phone and showing Camila the lockscreen. Upon seeing the picture, the girl's face twisted into a face of confusion.

"No," she shook her head. Her eyebrows suddenly furrowed and she took the phone back, holding it inches away from her face and studying the picture even closer. "They're not my friends," she confirmed, setting the phone on the cushion next to her. 

Dinah sat down next to Ally, and Normani sat on the coffee table so she was facing all three girls. "Camila, cut the crap," Dinah said firmly, sending the girl a warning glare. "Why are you here?"

Camila pouted, sticking out her bottom lip and staring up at the ceiling in thought. "Oh, yeah," she nodded, holding up her finger to show she'd remembered something. "I came here on a plane, see?" she reached into her pocket and frowned. She went to reach into her back pocket, but Ally reached out to stop her.

"You told us already," Ally reminded her, holding up the crumpled plane ticket. The flight had happened that same day, which told the girls that Camila had flown here with the intention of seeing them. Her reason was still unknown, though.

"Oh," Camila took the plane ticket from Ally's hands and studied it closely, running her fingers over the folded corners. "I need a bed," she nodded and pointed to the large window in the back of the apartment. "It's getting dark."

"Oh my fucking god," Dinah groaned and motioned for Ally to scoot over. The oldest girl obeyed, and Dinah switched places on the couch so she was sitting next to Camila. Dinah grabbed Camila by the shoulders and held her firmly in front of her. "Why are you here?" she asked, keeping her voice strong and intimidating. 

Camila lifted her shoulders, cowering under the Polynesian girl's touch. She shook her head and pushed Dinah's hands off of her. "Please," she murmured, shaking her head and scooting back on the couch.

"Please what?" Normani asked, holding out a hand to tell Dinah to pause for a moment. 

"Please," Camila repeated, shaking her head once more. Dinah and Normani looked at one another and Dinah groaned.

"Camila, what's going on?" Dinah tried once more to get some sort of answer out of the smaller girl.

"It's getting dark," Camila pointed at the window once more. "And I need a bed," she added, looking down at her jeans and patting her palms gently on her lap.

Ally placed a hand on Dinah's shoulder and the Polynesian girl turned around to face her. Normani stood up and sat on the arm of the couch so all three of them could talk.

"What are we supposed to do with her?" Normani was the first to speak up, glancing back at the girl on the other side of the couch, who was poking at the buttons on the TV remote once more.

Ally shook her head and sighed. "I don't know, but this feels like something out of some crappy reality show," she ran a hand through her hair and glanced in the direction of Lauren's room, wondering how the green eyed girl was feeling about this whole situation. 

"Do you have a bed?" 

All three girls jumped when they realized Camila had stood up and poked her head into their conversation.

"I need a bed," the girl repeated, reaching up and smoothing out her own hair. 

Dinah rolled her eyes in defeat and stood up. "Fine, Camila," she sighed. "One night. You can stay for one night, and then you go home, okay?" She glanced at Ally and Normani, asking for some type of approval. Maybe if she just gave Camila what she wanted, the girl would leave the next morning. 

"Yes. But I need a bed," Camila clapped her hands together and reached up to twirl the ends of Dinah's hair around her fingers. Dinah hit her hand away and Camila gasped, looking down at her hand and holding it close to her chest. Ignoring the small girl's dramatic reaction, Dinah bit her lip.

"Is this okay?" she whispered, bending down next to Ally and Normani. Ally nodded softly.

"Whatever is going on, she seems... different. We can at least give her the benefit of the doubt for one night, right?" Ally said, looking to Normani for her approval. Normani puckered her lips for a moment before nodding.

"I don't see why not," the dark skinned girl shrugged, glancing at Camila. "Where is she sleeping, though?"

Dinah huffed, forgetting that one very important factor. She sighed and stood up, turning to Camila. "You can sleep in my room for tonight," she nodded once. Camila hopped up on her tiptoes in some sort of expression of excitement. 

"Bed," she nodded. Dinah looked back at the other two girls, who looked completely shocked. She bent down next to them once more and laughed softly.

"Keep your friends close but your enemies closer, right?" she raised an eyebrow. Ally chuckled softly and shrugged. 

"Just try to be nice, okay?" the older girl asked, and Dinah nodded slowly. 

"Alright, Cabello, let's get you that bed you want so badly," she sighed, standing up and grabbing Camila's hand. Before the smaller girl could respond, Dinah was pulling her towards the spiral staircase. Camila paused at the bottom stair, taking her bottom lip between her teeth. 

"I don't have all day, Cabello," Dinah groaned, tugging Camila's hand. The smaller girl hesitantly took one step on the stairs, and gripped the railing with her other hand.

"Ouch," Camila mumbled, looking down at her feet. Dinah just sighed and tugged Camila's hand once more. "Ouch. Ouch. Ouch," Camila muttered with each step, but eventually they made it to the top of the staircase. Camila immediately clapped her hands, reaching for the first doorknob she saw.

Dinah quickly grabbed her by the shoulder and pulled her back, away from Lauren's room. That was the last thing Camila needed to do. "That's not my room," Dinah pointed to the next door over. "That is."

Camila clapped her hands excitedly and jiggled the doorknob violently until it opened. She walked slowly into Dinah's room, observing the posters and memorabilia that hung on her walls. "Bed," she noted, pointing to the king sized bed in the corner of the room.

Dinah sighed and shut the door behind them. "That's a bed, yeah," she mumbled, walking over to her dresser. "Where's your bag?"

Camila looked at her cluelessly.

"Did you bring a suitcase or something?" Dinah suddenly realized Camila had been empty handed when she had entered the apartment.

"I came on a plane," Camila nodded, reaching into her pocket. Dinah rolled her eyes, grabbing Camila's hands before she could realize she didn't have the plane ticket for the second time.

"I know. You told us," Dinah nodded, growing slightly frustrated with how she was acting. Something was definitely wrong. "Here," she turned back to her dresser and found a t-shirt and pajama pants that would fit the smaller girl. "You can wear these for tonight."

Camila giggled excitedly, hugging the clothing to her chest. She brought the t-shirt to her nose and inhaled, smelling their detergent. "Do I change?" she asked, holding up the shirt for Dinah to see. 

The Polynesian girl nodded, turning to the door to show Camila where the bathroom was. But Camila beat her to it, and when Dinah was about to lead her out into the hallway, she turned back around to find Camila in only her shirt, underwear, and shoes.

The girl was tugged angrily at the pants, trying to pull them on over her black converse. Dinah sighed and closed the door once more, walking over to Camila and grabbing her hands. 

"You have to take your shoes off," she pointed to the black shoes on Camila's feet.

"Ouch," Camila shook her head and pulled away from Dinah. "Ouch."

Dinah raised an eyebrow. "Ouch?" she asked, pointing down to Camila's shoes. Camila nodded. 

"Sit down," Dinah instructed, pointing to the bed. Camila did as she was told, with a wide smile on her face. Dinah knelt down in front of her and pulled on the shoelaces to untie them. 

"No, ouch!" Camila protested, pulling her foot away from Dinah. The Polynesian girl grew frustrated and grabbed Camila's foot again, gripping it tightly despite the girl's protests. She slipped the first shoe off her foot and gasped.

"Ouch," Camila pouted, her bottom lip trembling. This time, Dinah nodded in agreement. Camila's sock was stained red, with holes in the bottom where small shards of glass had wedged themselves into her foot. Dinah checked the shoe, but it appeared as if the shoes had been put on after the glass was already in her foot.

"How'd this happen?" Dinah asked, gripping the girl's other ankle and pulling off the second shoe. 

"Ouch," Camila nodded, as if it were a perfectly good explanation for Dinah's question. Dinah groaned.

"I'm going to try and get these out, okay?" she asked, nodding to the pieces of glass in Camila's foot. The smaller girl shook her head furiously.

"No. Hurt," she furrowed her eyebrows.

"If I don't take them out, it'll get infected, and you'll get sick," Dinah huffed, standing up and walking over to her nightstand.

"Will I die?"

"Yes," Dinah lied, too tired to try and reason with the girl. She regretted her decision immediately, though. Camila let out an ear piercing screech and Dinah dived across the bed to cup her hand over the girl's mouth. 

"You're not going to die," she shook her head. "I was kidding. It was a joke."

Camila pursed her lips against Dinah's hand out of confusion. "Oh," she mumbled when the other girl drew her hand away. She thought about it for a few moments before giggling at the 'joke.'

Dinah just shook her head and slipped out of the hallway, searching through the medicine cabinet until she found what she needed. Camila was still sitting in the exact same place when Dinah came back, which she was thankful for. 

"This is gonna hurt a bit, but I have to do it, otherwise it'll only hurt more in the long run," Dinah explained, sitting back down on the floor and laying a paper towel down next to her. 

"I don't want to run," Camila shook her head. 

"You don't have to," Dinah rolled her eyes, deciding she was speaking to a child instead of Camila. "It may hurt, but when it's over, you can play a game on my phone, okay?"

"Game?"

"Yeah," Dinah nodded. Camila clapped her hands excitedly and Dinah took that as her cue to keep going. Slowly, she rolled Camila's socks off of each foot. The girl on the bed winced each time, but surprisingly kept quiet.

"Why did you come here?" Dinah asked, trying again to get some sort of information out of the girl. Using a pair of tweezers, she lifted Camila's foot and slowly removed a piece of glass from her heel.

"I—ouch—needed a bed," Camila mumbled, crinkling her nose and trying to lean over and look down at her foot.

"I know that," Dinah said, continuing to remove the glass from the bottom of her foot, setting the pieces on the paper towel next to her. "But didn't you already have a bed?"

Camila shook her head. "Ouch," she muttered once more. Dinah sighed, giving up on getting any answers. Once she removed every piece of glass she could find, she poured a few drops of hydrogen peroxide onto a cotton ball and glanced up at Camila.

"This is gonna sting a bit," she warned, pressing the cotton ball on the open wounds and beginning to clean the dried blood on the bottom of her foot. Camila whimpered from above her but remained silent. "See? All done," Dinah nodded, satisfied with her attempt at cleaning the wounds.

"Game?" Camila asked, remembering what Dinah had told her earlier. 

"Not yet," Dinah shook her head. "I have to finish bandaging these," she grabbed the gauze she'd brought from the bathroom and went to work on covering the cuts on Camila's feet, making sure to use antibiotic ointment to keep them from getting infected.

Once she was finished bandaging, she stood up and retrieved a pair of large socks from her dresser, hoping they would fit loosely over the gauze. Camila frowned as Dinah slipped the socks over the bandages. 

"Ouch," she shook her head. 

"It's gonna hurt for a while, that's just how it's gonna be," Dinah took a deep breath, trying her best to remain patient. She regretted not passing the girl off to Normani or Ally. 

"Game?"

Dinah pointed to the change of clothes next to Camila. "Once you change," she nodded once and Camila quickly grabbed the clothes. She stood up slowly, testing the bandages on her feet. She clapped her hands when she realized her wounds didn't hurt as badly as they did before. 

Camila struggled for a few minutes, but finally managed to get her pants and t-shirt on. Dinah had to stop herself from laughing when she realized the pants were on backwards, but decided against saying anything. 

"Here," she handed Camila her phone and crawled into her bed. Moments later, Camila bounced up on the bed and was curled up smack dab next to Dinah. She held the phone close to her face, tapping at the screen aimlessly. 

Dinah groaned and pushed the girl off of her. "This is my side of the bed," she mumbled, placing a pillow in between them. Camila opened her mouth to protest, but Dinah glared at her, causing the smaller girl to set the phone back down and burrow under the covers. Ignoring the humming noises from Camila, Dinah turned so her back was facing the other girl and closed her eyes. 

All four roommates fell asleep with a million questions circulating their heads that night.

 


	2. two

Lauren couldn't fall asleep knowing all that had happened earlier. So instead, she'd been spending a majority of her night with music blaring through her headphones as she lay on her back, staring up at the ceiling and trying to block out her thoughts. It didn't help much, though.

She couldn't help but wonder what Camila had been thinking. Camila had made all of their lives a living hell for four years, how could she expect them to be anything but bitter towards her? Lauren had so many built up emotions towards the younger girl that she was surprised she hadn't connected her fist with her face as soon as she saw her standing in their doorway.

But there had been a change in Camila, too. Lauren tried to continue telling herself that Camila was just stoned out of her mind, but that wasn't a good enough explanation for everything that had been going on. There was something else contributing to this change in the girl, and Lauren wished she could figure out what it was just to feed her curiosity.

Back in high school, everyone knew Camila's name. She was the girl you either loved or hated, and it all depended on the way she treated you. If Camila liked you, life was easy. If she had anything against you, though, you were screwed. Camila had the means and the resources to turn your life into a living hell. And that was exactly what she had done to Lauren.

News spread fast after the incident in the cafeteria. Lauren was soon at the receiving end of countless stares, insults, and at times; physical violence. And worst of all, Lauren hadn't even gotten to come out on her own. Someone had done it for her. Someone who she hated with every fiber of her being.

Following the incident, Lauren was forced to tell her parents what had happened before news got back to them somehow. Her mother had been somewhat confused at first, but both her parents were accepting. Lauren was forever thankful that her parents didn't give her much trouble about her sexuality. She was grateful to have a support system at home.

Her parents were infuriated when Lauren told them what Camila had done. They informed the school, but Lauren knew it wouldn't do anything. Camila lived with her uncle, and she always bragged about how he didn't care what she did. The girl could get away with whatever she wanted, and made sure everyone was aware.

So Lauren was practically powerless. She spent the rest of her high school years eating lunch outside to avoid the slurs thrown her way in the cafeteria. Ally, Normani, and Dinah were her only friends. Lauren knew that without them, those years would have been 10 times more painful than they already were.

Moving to New York had been a big change for Lauren. She decided to be open about her sexuality, since she would now have control over who she told. She was surprised when no one really cared. It was nice. She'd tell them she was gay, they'd nod in approval and move onto a different subject of conversation. It was totally different than it had been in high school.

Her thoughts were interrupted late that night. Lauren jumped when she saw something move out of the corner of her eye. She squinted, seeing that her door had been left open slightly. The light from the hallway was the only thing that illuminated her room, and she watched as the figure moved over to her bed. The green eyed girl removed her headphones.

"Mani?" she asked, sitting up and raising an eyebrow. There was no answer and Lauren grew even more confused.

"Hi," the voice whispered. Lauren's hands clenched into fists and she inhaled slowly. What was Camila still doing here?

"I'm sleeping. Go away," she said firmly, rolling over on her side away from the girl. Her roommates would sure have a lot of explaining to do the next morning. Lauren tugged her blankets over her head and tried to convince herself that this was just some kind of fucked up dream. She didn't need Camila haunting her any more than she already did.

"Why?" The smaller girl obviously didn't take Lauren's hint, because moments later Lauren felt a dip in her bed. She lifted her head and let out a frustrated sigh when she saw Camila sitting cross legged at the end of the bed.

"Because I don't want you here," Lauren said bluntly. She didn't see any point in hiding her feelings towards Camila. She deserved to know how much Lauren despised her.

"Why?" Lauren groaned and rolled over, sitting up and grabbing Camila by the shoulders.

"Because I don't like you," she said loudly, but not loud enough to wake her other roommates. "Go away," she said between gritted teeth, grabbing her phone and slipping her headphones back into her ears.

"Why don't you like me?"

Lauren ignored the girl, hoping that maybe Camila would leave on her own is she didn't entertain her questions. What was she thinking? Coming into Lauren's room in the middle of the night seemed like a death sentence for Camila. Lauren rolled her eyes.

There was a tap on her shoulder and Lauren ripped her headphones out of her ears. "What?!" she snapped, sitting up and glaring at Camila. "I thought I told you to leave?" she hissed.

Camila reared back, scooting all the way against the backboard of the bed and holding her hands out in front of her. "Please," she mumbled, shaking her head. Lauren grew confused.

"Please?" she asked, trying to keep her tough composure despite having just seen a flash of vulnerability in the girl.

Camila nodded slowly and placed her hands back in her lap. "I wanted to talk."

Lauren raised an eyebrow. "What?" she laughed bitterly. "Are you finally going to apologize for making my life miserable? Because I think it's a little too late for that, Cabello."

Camila looked utterly confused. "What?"

Lauren just rolled her eyes. "Why are you still here?" she asked, trying to change the topic of conversation. "I thought you were going home?"

"This is my home," Camila nodded. She clapped her hands together once and looked around the dark room. "You are my friends."

"You don't live here, Camila," Lauren reiterated. She knew now that not even drugs or alcohol could make someone like this. It was actually starting to scare her. She was growing... concerned.

"Can we talk?" Camila asked, as if she hadn't heard Lauren's previous statement. The green eyed girl rolled her eyes in frustration and sat up, crossing her legs and looking straight at Camila.

"Why do you want to talk?" she asked, running a hand through her messy hair.

Camila seemed to think about the question for a moment, bringing her finger to her chin and staring off into the distance. "Oh, yeah," she raised her index finger in the air. "We are friends. Friends help friends, right?"

Lauren had to hold in her laughter. Friends? They were the furthest thing from friends. "Why?"

"Because I am scared," Camila nodded.

Lauren furrowed her eyebrows together. Scared? If anything, Lauren should be the one terrified of Camila and what she could do to her. Even though they were out of high school, Lauren was still intimidated by the other girl. But now, this new version of Camila seemed like anything but intimidating.

"Why?" Lauren asked, trying to appear disinterested. She couldn't deny that the more she spoke to Camila, the more concerned she became about the way the girl was acting.

"I can't sleep," Camila nodded once and looked around the room, almost as if she was refusing to make eye contact with Lauren. "I can't see anything."

"That's because it's nighttime," Lauren rolled her eyes. "You close your eyes, and then you sleep. It's common sense," she shook her head.

"But I am scared," Camila clasped her hands together slowly and took a deep breath. "I don't like new things."

"New things?" Lauren raised an eyebrow.

"Yes," Camila nodded once. "This house."

Lauren was growing increasingly confused by the moment. She was starting to feel worried for the other girl. Lauren knew she had to put an end to that right away. "Get out of my bedroom," she said firmly, pointing to the door.

Camila looked at the door and shook her head. "But it's your turn," she said, reaching out and pointing to Lauren, placing her index finger on the spot above Lauren's heart. Lauren reached up and pushed the girl's hand off of her.

"My turn?" she asked, pushing away Camila's hand again when she tried to point at her once more.

"Yes," Camila nodded. "Right? Friends talk to friends when they are scared. Are you scared?"

Lauren was growing increasingly more frustrated. "No, Camila," she said bluntly. "I'm not your friend." She rolled over and scooted as far away from the girl as possible.

"But we had Chemistry together..." Camila said softer, crawling over next to Lauren. It was almost as if she had no sense of personal space. "So we are friends."

"We're not friends, Camila!" Lauren snapped, sitting up and grabbing the girl by the shoulders. "Get that through your head right now, I am _not_ your friend." Her voice was low in the back of her throat.

Camila flinched and put her hands up. "Please," she shook her head quickly.

Lauren ignored her, pulling them both off of the bed and leading Camila over to the doorway by her shoulders. "Go away, Camila," she said firmly, pushing the girl out into the hallway and shutting the door before she could argue.

"Okay," the voice chirped through the door, and Lauren rolled her eyes. After making sure the door was locked, she crawled back into bed and shoved her headphones in her ears. She knew she wouldn't be getting much sleep that night.

And she was right. She hadn't gotten a wink of sleep, instead she watched an abundance of reality shows on Netflix and blasted her entire music library, trying to stop her mind from wandering back to the small girl that had appeared in her room earlier that night.

She was brought out of her daze early that morning when the door cracked open. Lauren removed her headphones, gazing at the Ally with a look of confusion. The older girl looked anything but happy.

"What'd you say to Camila?" Ally asked, walking over and sitting down on the edge of the bed. Lauren rolled her eyes.

"Here's a more important question," Lauren raised an eyebrow. "Why is she still here?"

Ally sighed softly and placed a hand on Lauren's shoulder. "You know we can't just send her out into the city like... _this_ ," she motioned her hand in the direction of the door. "Obviously she's... changed," Ally bit her lip and fiddled with her thumbs in her lap.

"Wait, so you're seriously considering letting her stay here?" Lauren sat up, noticeably tensing. Ally ran her hand down Lauren's arm and placed it back in her lap, taking a deep breath.

Nodding softly, Ally studied Lauren's face. "At least until we can figure out what's going on with her," she said cautiously.

"She's probably just high," Lauren muttered, shaking her head and grabbing her phone from under the blankets. She looked back up to be met with an incriminating glare from Ally. "What?!" she huffed.

"You and I both know that's not the case."

"Fine," Lauren shook her head. "But I'm not responsible for anything that happens to her if she sets foot in my bedroom again."

"Just... try and give her a chance, Laur," Ally said, squeezing Lauren's hand. "You don't have to forgive her, I don't expect you to. Right now you just have to be the bigger person and try to be understanding."

Lauren nodded before taking a deep breath. "Yeah, whatever," she shrugged.

"Dinah's making pancakes downstairs, if you want some," Ally added before she stood up. Lauren lifted her head, realizing just how hungry she was.

"I'll be down in a little bit," she nodded, waiting for Ally to leave the room before she hung her legs over the edge of her bed. _Great_. What were they supposed to do with Camila now? Lauren couldn't bring herself to show hospitality to the girl who'd shown her nothing but hatred all these years.

Rummaging through her drawers, Lauren became frustrated when she couldn't find anything to wear. She finally settled on a pair of leggings and a peach colored sweater, knowing that the weather was beginning to get chillier.

"Hot," she heard Camila's voice as she descended the spiral staircase and had to stop herself from rolling her eyes once more. Once she was downstairs, she stood silently for a moment and watched the girls in the kitchen.

"Hey, no," Dinah grabbed Camila's hand and pulled it away from the griddle. "It's hot."

"Hot," Camila nodded once more, but obviously didn't understand because she went to reach for the pan once more. Dinah sighed and swatted her hand away. Camila gasped and held her hand up in front of Dinah's face. "Ouch."

Normani turned around from her spot on the counter, spotting Lauren at the bottom of the stairs. "She's alive!" she laughed, hopping down to the floor and walking over to the green eyed girl. "How'd you sleep?"

"I didn't," Lauren mumbled, tearing her eyes away from the kitchen. She didn't wait for Normani to reply, she just walked over to the living room and plopped down onto the couch.

"I don't think any of us did," Normani sighed. She sat down next to Lauren and shook her head. "I don't know what got her so upset."

"Huh?" Lauren asked, confused as to what the other girl was talking about.

"You didn't hear all the commotion last night?"

Lauren shook her head. She'd kept her headphones in all night after Camila came into her room. "Why? What happened?"

Normani sighed and slumped back on the couch. "I don't know. Ally said Camila came in her room in the middle of the night and was upset over something, but she wouldn't tell her anything," Normani glanced at Lauren. "She kept asking if we were her friends." Normani noticed the look on Lauren's face and raised an eyebrow at her friend. "You don't happen to know something about this, do you?"

Lauren laid her head back and groaned. "She came in my room last night, and wouldn't leave me alone. So I just told her I wasn't her friend and then I made her leave."

"That must've been why she was so upset," Normani said softly. Lauren looked at her and bit her lip, wondering if her friends were going to be upset with the way she treated Camila. "I don't blame you, honestly," Normani shrugged and laid her head on the back of the couch.

"We're really letting her stay here?" Lauren asked after a few moments of silence.

"I don't know," Normani turned her head to look at Lauren. "I think the only thing we can do right now is give her a chance, right?"

Lauren just shrugged. This was the last thing she needed on top of her already stressful schedule. She jumped when someone poked the top of her head, and she instantly whipped her head around to find Camila standing behind the couch, holding a plate of pancakes. Wearing _her_ shirt. The one she'd been looking for this morning.

"How'd you get that?" Lauren snapped, pointing to the shirt. Camila looked down where Lauren was pointing and then back at Lauren. She looked almost... scared.

"I-I found it," she nodded once.

"Where?"

Camila thought for a moment, bringing her hand to her mouth. "In the room," she finally spoke. She pointed to the staircase.

"My room?" Lauren asked, and Camila shrugged.

"I found it," she repeated. It was silent for a few moments before she shoved the plate of pancakes in Lauren's face. "Happy Birthday."

Lauren pushed the plate out of her face. "It's not my birthday," she rolled her eyes. Camila's expression faltered for a few moments and she glanced nervously back into the kitchen.

Dinah saw the pleading expression on Camila's face and walked over to where she was standing, sighing heavily. "She wanted to give you pancakes," Dinah explained to Lauren. "She thinks you're not her friend."

Lauren ignored Dinah's pleading look in her direction and shook her head, standing up. "I'm _not_ her friend," she said firmly before grabbing her backpack from the coffee table and tossing it over her shoulder. "I'm going out," she muttered before disappearing out of the apartment and slamming the door behind her.

Dinah made a move to go after her, but Normani grabbed her arm before she could. "Give her some space, D," the dark skinned girl sighed. All three roommates knew how Lauren got when she was in a bad mood, and it was better just to let her have some time to think.

"Why?" Camila spoke up, still holding the plate of pancakes. She walked over to the door and stared at it, as if she were waiting for Lauren to come back. After a few moments, she raised her fist and knocked on the door.

Dinah quickly jogged over to Camila and took the plate out of her hands, setting it on the counter in the kitchen before grabbing Camila's hand and leading her back into the living room. "Camila?" she nodded once, making eye contact with the small girl.

"Yes," Camila nodded, pointing to herself.

"Why did you come here?" Dinah asked, trying not to appear overly frustrated. "Did something happen to you?"

Camila's face contorted into a look of thoughtfulness. She bit her lip and looked up at the ceiling for a few moments before looking at Dinah once more. "I had to leave," she said slowly, as if she were unsure of her words. She then nodded quickly, clapping her hands together. "I had to leave."

"Why did you have to leave?" Ally spoke up, walking and sitting down next to Dinah. Camila thought for a moment before shrugging.

Ally sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "I guess we just have to believe that she'll tell us in time," she said quietly, looking at Dinah, who shrugged.

"Oh shit, Dinah," Normani sat up quickly, looking at the clock. "We have to get ready for class," she hopped to her feet and jogged upstairs.

"Who has class on a Saturday?" Ally laughed, looking at Dinah who groaned loudly.

"Anyone who's crazy enough to be a dance major," Dinah rolled her eyes jokingly. "It was the only time our teacher could get the auditorium empty, we have to practice for a big showcase coming up." She glanced upstairs where Normani had run off to. "Mani! Grab my bag!"

"Way ahead of you!" a voice rang out, and a large black duffel bag was tossed over the banister. It landed on the ground with a _thud._  


"Please!" Camila cried, covering her ears and cowering behind the couch. Ally and Dinah exchanged looks before Ally peered behind the couch.

"Are you okay?" she asked the small girl, who still had her hands covering her ears. She looked up at Ally slowly, and immediately smiled.

"Yes," she nodded. Camila stood up, watching as Dinah grabbed the bag and followed Normani towards the door.

"Bye Ally!" Dinah called, noticing an expectant Camila next to her. "Uh... Bye, Camila," she said softer, holding the door open for Normani before slipping out after her.

Camila's face lit up and she waved both her hands out in front of her. "Goodnight!" she called, even though the door was already shut. Ally watched the small girl in confusion, wondering just what had happened to her. It was as if Camila was an entirely different person.


	3. three

Lauren was glad none of her roommates had tried to follow her. She'd only walked across the street to the small park. Lauren always came here when she needed to think. And boy, was there a lot to think about.

She knew she should give Camila a chance, but it was just so hard. When she looked at the girl, she saw the same face that had read her private texts aloud in front of the entire cafeteria. She should be allowed to resent her, right?

But at the same time, the Camila who'd shown up at their door seemed completely different. All four roommates knew something was up, but none of them had any idea what it was.

Lauren groaned, sitting down on a bench in the back of the park and bringing her hands up to comb through her hair. She lifted her head, pausing for a moment. A patch of daisies along the edge of the path caught her eye. It was a miracle they were still surviving, considering how close they were getting to winter. Immediately inspired, Lauren pulled her sketchbook out of her backpack and held her pencil in-between her teeth while she flipped to a clean page.

The reason Lauren loved drawing was because she could capture the essence of a moment. She enjoyed having to take the time and study her subject matter, to know every curve and line, every highlight and shadow, and every small imperfection. It was how she found beauty in things.

She started off with the curved stem of the daisies, making sure to highlight the glare of the sun against the grass surrounding the flowers. Her pencil scratched against the thick paper, working at an impressive speed. Her hair hung down in front of her face and she took her bottom lip in between her teeth in concentration.

Her hand froze when she looked back up, though. Her view of the flowers had been blocked by a small figure. Lauren instantly recognized her shirt.

"Camila, what are y-?" Lauren's voice trailed off when Camila turned around, holding a handful of flowers. The daisies that Lauren had been drawing were now gathered together into Camila's hands. The smaller girl looked more than pleased with herself, and she held up the flowers happily for Lauren to see.

"I found them," Camila smiled widely, walking over to Lauren and practically shoving the flowers in her face. Lauren snapped, shoving Camila's hands out of her face, which caused the flowers to fall to the ground.

"Ouch," Camila mumbled, bending down and picking up each flower individually, holding them up to the sun as if to check if they were alright. Lauren crossed her arms and stood in front of the younger girl.

"Why would you pick those?" Lauren huffed, slamming her sketchbook shut and tossing it back into her backpack. Camila stood up and hugged the flowers to her chest.

"They were pretty," she smiled, looking down at the daisies and giggling.

"Yeah, well guess what?" Lauren asked, not waiting for a response. "You just killed them." The green eyed girl motioned to the patch of grass where Camila had found the flowers.

"What?" Camila whispered, looking concerned. She knelt down next to the patch of grass and patted it gently. "Oh," she muttered, shaking her head.

"Sometimes you just need to admire pretty things from far away," Lauren sighed. As if she already wasn't frustrated, this only made things worse.

Camila looked up from the grass for a moment, meeting Lauren's eyes. "Like you?" she asked, tilting her head to the side like a confused puppy.

Lauren just rolled her eyes. "Goodbye, Camila," she muttered, grabbing her bag and storming off down the path before the other girl had a chance to respond. Camila watched Lauren walk away until the girl was merely a speck in the distance.

The small girl turned back to the daisies, laying them down gently next to her. She ran her fingers through the grass, feeling the remainder of the stems from where she'd cut the flowers.

"Stupid," she mumbled, shaking her head and knocking on her forehead a few times, as if to check if her brain was hollow. "Stupid," she repeated, picking up one of the daisies and trying to connect it back to the stem.

"Bad," she sighed. Her hands shook in frustration as she tried to make the daisy stand up in the patch of grass once more. "No, bad," she shook her head quickly and continued trying to get the flower to stand upright.

A drop of water on her back made Camila jump. She looked up at the sky, trying to determine where it came from. Suddenly there was another drop, and another, and another, until there were too many for the girl to count.

"Ouch," she muttered. Quickly bending down, she gathered up the flowers and held them tightly against her chest. She shook her head, looking around for somewhere where the water couldn't hurt her. The largest thing she could find was the forest, so she held the flowers close to her and waddled off of the path, stumbling through the brush.

-

Lauren had just fallen asleep when someone burst into her room. She'd walked back home and headed straight to her bed, intent on getting some sort of sleep to get the thoughts of Camila out of her head. Ever since she'd left the park, the younger girl had been the only thing on her mind.

She groaned, sitting up and staring at the figure in her doorway. "What do you want?" she huffed, wiping her eyes and glaring at Ally.

"Where's Camila?"

"How am I supposed to know?" Lauren threw her hands up in the air.

"I left her in Dinah's room for twenty minutes so I could try and get some homework done, and when I came back, she was gone, Lauren. _Gone_." Ally shook her head and sighed in frustration.

"Last time I saw her was at the park," Lauren shrugged, running a hand through her long hair. "She picked the fucking flowers I was sketching."

Ally took a deep breath. "Okay, well, where was she?"

"At the edge of the woods, where that one bench is," Lauren stood up and flicked on her light. She blinked a few times to let her eyes adjust. "Why does it matter?"

"Because she could be lost, Lauren," Ally laughed at Lauren's utter disregard for the other girl. "Not to mention, it's pouring rain." Lauren raised an eyebrow, drawing one of her curtains aside and realizing just how awful the weather had gotten.

"She can take care of herself," Lauren shrugged, trying not to become too concerned for Camila. For some reason, she was starting to feel bad for the way she was treating the other girl. But Lauren knew what she had done, and she continued to tell herself that she hated her.

"That's debatable," Ally mumbled, leaning on the windowsill next to Lauren. "Did Dinah tell you about last night?" Lauren shook her head.

"Get your keys," Ally nodded towards the door. "I'll explain while we go look for her."

Lauren groaned. But for some reason, she grabbed her keys from the nightstand and followed Ally into the living room. She figured it was the least she could do for leaving Camila in the rain in the first place.

The girls jogged through the rain and slid into Lauren's car as fast as they could. "So what was Dinah supposed to tell me?" The green eyed girl started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

"Go left," Ally instructed. "We'll circle around the back of the park." The smaller girl started intently out the window, thinking for a few moments. "I'm not really sure," Ally said honestly. "All I know is that when Camila was getting changed, Dinah found glass in her feet."

"What?" Lauren's eyes widened and she turned her head to make sure Ally wasn't kidding. "Glass?"

"Yup," Ally nodded once, popping the 'p.' "She had to clean it out and everything." Ally wiped the condensation off the passenger side window as Lauren slowly circled around the back of the park. "The weird thing is, is that Dinah said it looked like Camila put her shoes on _over_ the glass."

"What the heck?" Lauren shook her head, becoming more and more confused at the situation they'd been put in. "This is _so_ weird."

Ally just nodded in agreement. "Well she's here now, and there's not much more we can do besides make sure she doesn't accidentally burn down the apartment."

"I don't see her," Lauren said quietly. They'd just circled the whole park without a trace of Camila. Both girls looked at each other and Ally motioned for Lauren to get out of the car. The green eyed girl raised an eyebrow.

"Why me?"

"You're the one who left her out here in the first place," Ally send Lauren an incriminating look. The smaller girl _did_ have a point.

"She's not my responsibility," Lauren argued. She crossed her arms and glared out the window. This was bothering her. She was starting to feel _bad_ for Camila. She would have never expected that to happen. "She probably deserves to be out in the rain. Or worse."

"You don't mean that, Laur," Ally reached over and placed a hand on her roommate's shoulder. "She's... different," the smaller girl thought for a moment. "You and I both know that she's not the same person she was a few years ago."

"Yeah," Lauren rolled her eyes. "At least a few years ago she knew that we _weren't_ friends," she mumbled. Ally glared at her and Lauren held her hands in the air, as if she were surrendering. "Fine, okay, fine, I'll go." She reached over the backseat, feeling around on the floor. Her eyebrows furrowed together. "Where's my umbrella?"

"I think Mani borrowed it last week."

"Well _great_ ," Lauren muttered, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. "You owe me for this, Hernandez." Ally smiled teasingly at her, and Lauren took one last look at the other girl before pushing her car door open and planting her feet on the wet asphalt.

It was _pouring._  


The rain was pounding against her car, sounding like a chorus of drums marching down the street. She closed the car door quickly and brought her hands up to shield her eyes from the torrential downpour. Lauren had never, in a million years, imagined she'd be doing something like this just to _help_ Camila Cabello. In fact, she probably thought she'd be the one to leave the girl out in the pouring rain as revenge. But now, the tables had turned.

Ally gave her a thumbs up from inside the warmth of the car. Lauren flicked her off in return, before pushing her wet hair out of her face and hopping up onto the sidewalk. She decided the best idea would be to go to the last place she'd seen Camila. Just as she set foot on the asphalt pathway, a loud clap of thunder caused her to jump.

Lauren told herself she was running because she wanted to get out of the rain as soon as possible. She couldn't possibly be running because she was worried, right? Lauren shook the thought out of her brain and skidded to a stop by the bench where she'd left Camila. She nearly fell over from the momentum, considering the ground was already slippery.

She looked around, finding no sign of the girl. "Camila!?" she called, cupping her hands around her mouth to make her voice travel further. She listened for a few seconds, trying to pick out any responses in the pouring rain. After a few moments with no response, Lauren began scanning the surrounding area.

Where could she have gone? Lauren's stomach dropped when she thought of every possible thing that could have happened to the girl. Her eyes landed on a patch of brush that had been stomped down on recently.

"Camila?!" she called again, pushing through the brush and through the very edge of the forest. The rain was so heavy that it continued to beat down through the leaves above her. She was already soaked from head to toe. Her hair was dripping down her back and the sides of her face, and now her boots were covered in a thin layer of mud from walking off into the woods.

She wiped her eyes, looking down at her hands which now were covered in black streaks from her ruined makeup. She used the sleeve of her sweater to rub the rest of the makeup off of her face, still listening intently for any sign of where Camila was.

Walking further into the woods, Lauren craned her head in all directions to try and find the other girl. The rain showed no signs of stopping anytime soon. She could only laugh at the situation she'd gotten herself into.

She stopped walking when she noticed something white on the ground, sticking out against the dark dirt. Picking it up, she realized it was one of the daisies Camila had picked earlier. A mixture of anger and worry bubbled in her stomach.

"Camila?! Where are you?!" she called, holding onto the daisy and walking further into the woods. The brush began getting thicker and Lauren glanced behind her to make sure she knew the way out.

A loud clap of thunder made her jump, and moments later she heard a whimper from nearby. That had to be Camila. "Camila?" she spoke loudly, looking around quicker. A flash of white behind a tree caught her eye, and she jogged over to the tree, realizing the flash of white belonged to a pair of white converse.

"Camila?" She circled the tree and her suspicions were confirmed. The younger girl sat curled up in a ball, with her hands over her ears and her head buried in her knees. Lauren had to remind herself that this was the girl who had made her life a living hell for three years.

"Camila," she said louder than before, poking the girl's leg with her foot. Camila's head shot up and a look of terror flashed across her face, but it was instantly replaced by a look of relief when she saw Lauren standing in front of her.

Lauren nearly fell backwards when Camila jumped to her feet and wrapped her arms around Lauren's neck. Camila Cabello was hugging _her_? This was new. " _Lolo,_ " the smaller girl hummed.

"That's not my name," Lauren said firmly, peeling the soaking wet girl off of her. "What are you doing here?"

Camila tilted her head to the side in thought. A few moments later, she bent down and picked up the handful of daisies she'd picked. They were soaked, flopping over dead in Camila's tight grip. "I killed them," she mumbled, shaking her head.

The smaller girl bet down and tried to stand one of the flowers back up, the way it had been before she picked it from the grass. It fell over on its side and she huffed. "Stupid, stupid, stupid," she muttered under her breath, tapping the side of her head with her fingers.

"There's nothing you can do about it," Lauren raised an eyebrow after observing the girl's actions. The rain was beating down even harder now, but Camila didn't seem to care. She continued trying to fix the flowers and grew increasingly more frustrated when she didn't get the outcome she wanted.

"Camila," Lauren huffed, grabbing the small girl's arm and pulling her up to her feet. Camila instantly reeled back, rubbing her arm up and down.

"Ouch."

"You're fine," Lauren shook her head and started walking in the direction from where she'd came. "We're going back home, come on."

"Home?" Camila's head perked up upon hearing Lauren's words. She quickly gathered her flowers and hugged them to her chest. Lauren grimaced, watching as Camila smeared even more mud over one of Lauren's favorite band shirts. She bit her lip, trying to keep herself from saying anything. She just continued walking.

"Home with my friends?" Camila scrambled beside Lauren, breathing heavily from trying to catch up.

"I'm not your friend," Lauren muttered, picking up the pace. She was eager to get home and change out of her soaking wet clothes and muddy boots.

"But we had Chemistry together, so we are f-"

"We're not friends!" Lauren snapped, turning around and throwing her hands down at her sides. "I am _not_ your friend, and you shouldn't expect me to be after all the shit you put me through! So just.... just stop talking," she muttered.

"Oh," Camila said quietly, hanging her head down lower and trudging behind Lauren as they walked. The rest of the walk was pretty quiet, except for Camila mumbling ' _stupid'_ to herself every few minutes. Lauren forced herself to ignore it.

They finally reached the edge of the woods and Camila paused, looking around slowly. She found the spot where the daisies had once been and knelt down. "I am sorry, flowers," she said softly, placing each one of the daisies she'd picked earlier down carefully. "Goodnight."

Lauren stood a few feet away with her arms crossed, watching Camila's actions. The green eyed girl forced herself to ignore the guilt that was currently washing over her. Camila stood up slowly and turned back to Lauren, keeping quiet like the green eyed girl had told her to.

Lauren just took a deep breath and continued walking, sighing in relief when Ally's car came into view. Camila hurried behind her, unsure of where they were going.

"Get in," Lauren pointed to the back seat of the car. Camila nodded and followed her instructions. Lauren groaned when she realized just how dirty her car was going to get. She pushed the door closed behind Camila and walked over to the driver's side.

"Where was she?" Ally asked as soon as Lauren sat down. The green eyed girl saw herself in the driver's side mirror and grimaced.

"In the middle of the woods like an idiot," Lauren huffed, not even bothering to look at the girl in the backseat. She started the car and pulled away from the side of the road.

"Stupid," Camila mumbled from the backseat, reaffirming what Lauren had said. Ally shot Lauren a look before turning back to face Camila.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" Ally asked, concerned. Camila tilted her head to the side and held her hands up in front of her face, turning them back and forth.

"It's cold," was all the smaller girl said, hugging her hands around her torso. She looked down at her lap and shook her head, sending raindrops flying all over the back seat of the car. Lauren glared at her through the rear view mirror.

She was mad. She was mad at Camila for hurting her. She was mad at Camila for coming back. She was mad at Camila for changing, as if she didn't even recall what she'd done to hurt Lauren.

But most importantly, she was growing more and more angry with herself for not hating the girl in the back seat of the car. Because this Camila was nothing like the Camila that she'd known in high school.


	4. four

"The apartment is warm, we'll be there soon," Ally tried to comfort the girl, unsure of what else to do. Her and Lauren exchanged glances and Lauren sighed heavily. This was already adding up to be a long day. She turned into the parking lot of the apartment and parked the car, not even bothering to wait for the other two girls.

She took the stairs, sighing once she made it to their floor. They'd accidentally left the apartment unlocked, so Lauren slipped inside quickly, leaving her muddy boots by the door and heading straight to her bedroom.

The dark haired girl changed into a pair of sweatpants and one of her favorite t-shirts. She pulled her wet hair up into a messy bun and scrubbed her face raw until all of the makeup was gone. She took a few moments to look at herself in the mirror, rolling her eyes at her disheveled appearance before heading back downstairs.

Ally and Camila were nowhere in sight, but Lauren could tell they were home by the muddy footprints at the door. She told herself she didn't care about what they were doing and headed into the kitchen.

" _Noooo._ "

Lauren lifted her head out of the refrigerator when she heard Camila's voice whine from upstairs. As much as she wanted to go see what was wrong, she forced herself to ignore it and grabbed two slices of cheese from the drawer before closing the refrigerator.

There was rustling from upstairs and the opening and closing of multiple doors, and Lauren hummed softly to herself to try and drown out the noise. She set a pan on the stove and waited for it to heat up. Just as she finished retrieving the bread from the pantry, she heard slow footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Hi," Camila smiled, standing across the kitchen from Lauren. The green eyed girl turned around. Her breath caught in her throat as soon as she saw the girl in front of her. Camila was wearing another one of Lauren's t-shirts, which came down to the middle of her thighs. She didn't have any pants on, or socks and shoes. Lauren noticed the bandages on her feet, which she assumed Ally had changed.

The smaller girl's hair was wet, and pulled up in a sad attempt at a messy bun. There were still a few loose stands of dark hair hanging down and framing her face. She somehow made it look cute. _Cute._ Lauren cursed herself for using that word.

Before Lauren could say anything, Ally came running down the stairs with a pair of Lauren's pajama pants in her hand. "You forgot these," she handed them to Camila, who studied them for a few moments. Ally saw the questioning look Lauren was giving her and bit her lip. "She insisted on wearing your clothes, I don't know," Ally shrugged.

"Oh," Lauren mumbled. Camila pulled on the pants and patted the soft material happily. "What took so long?" The green eyed girl asked, trying to ignore the feeling that was arising in her stomach from seeing Camila in her clothing.

"Well I discovered that she can shower on her own," Ally nodded once and motioned to Camila, who was still petting the fuzzy material of her pajama pants. "Which is a good thing, I think," she bit her lip and studied Lauren's face.

"Thank god for that," Lauren shook her head. She was still extremely confused by everything that had happened in the past two days. A clattering noise snapped her out of her thoughts and both her and Ally whipped their heads around. Camila stood next to the stove, with the overturned pan now on the floor.

"Hot," Camila nodded once and pointed to the pan. Ally and Lauren exchanged glances.

"Well, have fun with that," Ally winked at Lauren. "This girl's got homework to catch up on." Lauren glared at her, but Ally disappeared up the stairs before she could respond.

Lauren groaned and walked over to Camila. "Of course it's hot," she rolled her eyes and grabbed the pan by the handle. Once she set it back on the stove, she sprayed the surface with cooking spray and made sure the oven was still on. "Don't touch it," she warned Camila, pointing to the stove.

Camila nodded once. Lauren hopped up to sit on the island and wait until the pan was hot enough. She started picking at a loose string at the bottom of her shirt. A hissing noise caused her to look up quickly.

"No!" she huffed, hopping off the counter and grabbing the container of cooking spray from Camila's hand. She looked at the counter, which now had a shiny coat of grease over it. "Oh my god," she groaned, grabbing a rag and wetting it so she could clean the counter.

"It doesn't smell," Camila noted, pointing to the container in Lauren's hand. The green eyed girl put the spray back in the cabinet and shook her head.

"It's not air freshener. It's cooking spray," she scrubbed the counter where Camila had sprayed the oil. Camila walked over next to Lauren and observed what she was doing.

"Cooking spray," Camila repeated. Lauren ignored her and tossed the rag into the sink once she deemed the counter clean enough. The dark haired girl grabbed two slices of bread and laid them on the pan, taking the spatula out of the drawer.

"What are you making?" Camila followed Lauren over to the stove and stood on her tiptoes to peer over her shoulder. Once she saw it was food, she clapped her hands excitedly. "I'm hungry."

"I wasn't making you a—," Lauren turned around and saw the look of excitement on the smaller girl's face. She sighed in defeat, grabbing two more slices from the bag and positioning them on the pan. She wondered when the last time Camila had eaten was. "Do you want something to drink?" she asked slowly.

Camila nodded. "Yellow?"

"Yellow?" Lauren raised an eyebrow and walked over to the refrigerator. She tried to put herself in Camila's mind, and her eyes landed on the half full jug of lemonade in the back of one of the shelves. "This?"

Camila nodded furiously and Lauren laughed softly, somewhat proud of herself for knowing what the girl had been referring to. She grabbed a glass from the pantry, but then glanced back at Camila and switched the glass for a plastic cup. Once she poured the lemonade, she handed the cup to Camila and put the jug back in the fridge.

Camila took a sip from the cup and giggled excitedly. She leaned against the counter and continued to watch as Lauren unwrapped the slices of cheese and laid them on top of the bread. "What are you making?"

"Grilled cheese," Lauren responded, flipping the plain slices onto the ones with cheese, and then flipping the entire sandwich. Camila padded over and watched, seemingly amazed by what Lauren had just done.

"Can I try?"

Lauren shook her head. "Maybe another time," she shrugged and pressed down on the sandwiches with the back of the spatula.

"I want to do something," Camila leaned against the island as Lauren turned off the stove. Lauren turned to her and thought for a moment.

"See that door? Can you get my two paper plates from behind it?" Lauren pointed to the pantry, and Camila nodded. She tiptoed over to the doors, and Lauren noticed how she wasn't putting weight on her bandages.

Camila opened the pantry and studied the shelves. When she finally found the paper plates, she clapped her hands excitedly and grabbed the entire stack to bring to Lauren. The green eyed girl couldn't help but laugh when Camila handed her all of the paper plates. She grabbed two off the top and handed them back to the girl.

"Can you go put those back?" Lauren pointed to the panty. Camila nodded once more and shoved the plates onto the top shelf, knocking over a few things but closing the doors of the pantry before they could fall out.

"Good job," Lauren raised an eyebrow. She cut the sandwiches into fourths and placed one on each plate. "This one's yours," she nodded, handing Camila one of the plates. The small girl took it happily and walked over to the living room, sitting in the middle of the floor.

Lauren had to stop herself from making a comment about what the couches were for. She sat on the chair furthest from Camila and held her plate in her lap.

"Fork," Camila noted, pointing at the untouched food on her plate and wiggling her fingers, signifying she needed something in her hand.

"You don't need a fork," Lauren held up her hand to show Camila that she could pick up her food.

"Fork," Camila shook her head and clasped her hands together. Lauren sighed, setting her plate down and getting up to grab a fork from the kitchen. Once the younger girl had her fork, she stabbed a piece of the sandwich and held it up in front of her face.

Lauren sat back down, watching Camila study her food. Moments later, Camila took a bite off of the fork and smiled widely while she chewed her food.

"Grilled cheese," she nodded once she swallowed, twirling the fork around in her hands. "You made it?"

"Yup," Lauren nodded, already having taken a few bites of her food. She glanced at the staircase, wondering how long she would have to 'babysit' Camila for. She needed to get back into her room, lock the door, and forget about all of this. She was supposed to hate Camila, not make her grilled cheese sandwiches and spend time with her.

"My savior," Camila hummed, taking another bite of the food. Lauren raised an eyebrow at her words but decided not to question her any further. All she had to do was survive until Ally came downstairs, and then she could go back to her room and back to hating Camila.

The thing that scared Lauren, though, was that she hated the _old_ Camila. The new Camila sitting in front of her was a little harder to hate. Lauren found her endearing.

When Lauren looked back up, Camila's plate was empty. "Are you done?" she asked, wondering how she could've finished eating that quickly. Something caught her attention out of the corner of her eye, and she stood up, lifting the magazine from the coffee table and revealing the last few pieces of the sandwich.

"Why'd you hide it?" Lauren asked. She grabbed Camila's plate and scooped the leftover food onto it, walking into the kitchen and throwing it away. When she came back, Camila was hanging her head down and fiddling with her hands in her lap. "What?" Lauren asked, growing confused.

"I was full," Camila finally looked up. She looked...scared. Lauren didn't like it.

"That's okay," Lauren shrugged. "You don't have to hide what you don't eat. You just throw it away. Or you could always keep it for leftovers," she tried to explain. Camila tilted her head to the side.

"Promise?"

Lauren was becoming more and more intrigued by this girl as time went on. She didn't like where this was going. Camila looked at her expectantly, holding up her hand and sticking out her pinky finger. Sighing, Lauren gave in and interlocked their fingers. "Promise."

Camila giggled excitedly, and then next thing she knew, a kiss was pressed to the back of Lauren's hand. Lauren clasped her hands together and gave Camila a slow nod. Footsteps caused both girls to turn around.

"Ally!" Camila grabbed onto Lauren and used her arm to pull herself up to her feet. Lauren raised an eyebrow as Camila walked over and gave Ally a hug. Even Ally looked surprised. "Lauren grilled me a cheese," Camila smiled and pointed at Lauren, who stood frozen in the living room.

"She did?" Ally laughed, raising an eyebrow at Lauren. "I didn't know she had a heart," the oldest girl teased. Lauren rolled her eyes.

"Oh, she does," Camila nodded furiously, turning to look at Lauren. "I have seen it."

Lauren couldn't find her words, and Ally sent her a questioning look. All Lauren could do was shrug. What did Camila mean? She wouldn't allow herself to ask, and instead she got up, threw her trash away, and dismissed herself upstairs without another word.

The moment her bedroom door shut, she fell face first into her pillow and groaned. She'd barley survived one day with Camila, how was she supposed to make it through any more? Who knew how long Camila would be staying with them? She cursed herself for being this sensitive.

Truth is, Lauren was terrified. She was terrified of allowing Camila to warm up to her, just to be hurt. Who knew why Camila had shown up at their door? Maybe this was all some sort of sick joke.

Lauren rolled onto her back, yawning and wiping her eyes. She was still exhausted, but she knew she'd just be fooling herself if she tried to fall asleep this early. Instead, she flopped her arm over and grabbed her book from her nightstand. She found her spot in _Looking for Alaska_ , and continued reading from where she'd left off.

Lauren always put her all into everything. She either loved something, or she hated something. She was extremely outgoing, or she was painstakingly shy. There was no inbetween. The word was black and white for her, there were no grays. If she did something, she did it with 100% of her being.

Which is why she got so invested in her book that she ignored the rumbling in her stomach and read straight through dinner. Dinah and Normani had come home from their classes bearing a brown paper bag full of takeout food. Her other roommates knew better than to bother her, though. They always gave Lauren the space she needed, which she was thankful for.

Meanwhile, Camila sat on her spot on the floor downstairs while the other three girls watched her curiously. Camila poked a piece of rice with her fork, growing frustrated when she couldn't pick it up.

"Camila, you have to scoop it," Dinah walked over and sat down next to her with her own plate. She showed Camila how she used her fork, and Camila quickly copied her. She clapped her hands excitedly when it worked.

Dinah, Ally, and Normani all looked at one another. They all had millions of questions they wished they had answers for. Normani was the first to speak up.

"Camila, why did you want to come see us?" Normani asked, setting her empty plate down on the coffee table and leaning forward in her chair.

Camila looked up when she heard her name, pursing her lips when she heard the girl's question. "I..." she brought her fingers up and drummed them on her bottom lip in thought. "I think I wanted to see my friends."

"Are we your friends?" Dinah asked, trying to figure out who Camila was referring to.

The small girl's face suddenly stilled, as if she were surprised by this question. "Do you want to be?" she asked, forgetting about her food and crawling over so she could sit in front of Dinah. "We had Chemistry together, I remember."

Dinah and Normani looked at one another. Ally sat down on the arm of the couch, trying to piece together everything Camila was saying. She came up empty-handed each time.

"I want you to be my friends," Camila continued, pointing to each one of them individually and then clasping her hands back together. "Are you?"

All three girls exchanged glances before Ally smiled and nodded softly, turning back to Camila. "Of course we are." Dinah and Normani nodded in agreement. Even though they were still somewhat wary, they all knew that this Camila was a completely changed person compared to the girl they knew in high school.

Camila's face lit up and she clapped her hands together excitedly. But her smile faltered for a moment and then her shoulders slowly slumped down. "Is Lolo?" she asked, tilting her head to the side in question.

"Lolo?" all three girls asked at the same time. Camila looked at them as if they'd asking a completely ridiculous question.

"Yes. Lolo," she nodded once and then pointed to the stairs. "The girl with the ocean eyes." Camila pointed to her eyes and then clasped her hands together.

"Her name is Lauren," Dinah quickly said. Camila pursed her lips in thought.

"Yes, Lolo," Camila nodded once. "Is she my friend?"

All three roommates looked at each other and raised their eyebrows. ' _I'm so lost_ ' Dinah mouthed. The other two girls nodded and Ally just shrugged and turned back to Camila.

"I don't know," she glanced in the direction of Lauren's room and back down to the younger girl. "Only she knows that."

"I have to ask her then," Camila nodded once and scrambled to her feet. Dinah and Normani both grabbed the girl before she could go up the stairs. Camila tilted her head to the side in confusion. "What?"

"She's... busy," Ally quickly butted in. The other two girls nodded and Camila furrowed her eyebrows together.

"Oh," she nodded slowly. "What do I do now?"

Dinah had an idea, and she grabbed the TV remote from the coffee table. She chose the first show she could find, which just so happened to be _Friends_. Normani raised an eyebrow at her and Dinah shrugged.

Camila instantly tilted her head to the side, walking over to the TV and pressing her palm against the screen. "I like this show," she nodded once and sat down directly in front of the television.

"See?" Dinah laughed, smirking at her roommates. Normani shrugged and grabbed her dance bag from the door.

"That was easier than I expected," the dark skinned girl laughed, slipping her bag over her shoulder. "I've got some sleep to catch up on, I'll see you in the morning." Normani smiled at both of her roommates before jogging up the staircase.

Dinah and Ally both looked at each other, and then back to Camila. The small girl was immersed in the show, giggling quietly to herself at the funny moments.

"Go on," Dinah nodded to Ally. "I'll stay down here until she gets tired." Ally nodded thankfully, shooting Dinah a grateful smile and disappearing upstairs after Normani.

"Looks like it's just me and you now," the Polynesian girl sighed and plopped back down on the couch. Camila didn't respond, she was too interested in the television. Yawning, Dinah pulled her feet up underneath her and propped a pillow under her elbow. Both girls watched in silence, Camila would giggle and clap her hands occasionally. Part of Dinah wondered if she even knew half of what was going on in the show. 


	5. five

When the first episode was over, Camila begged to watch another.

"Please? More," Camila pointed to the TV and nodded softly. "Yes, more."

Dinah shrugged and chose the next episode, not seeing the harm in watching one more before they went to bed. She'd almost drifted off to sleep when she felt two hands shaking her awake.

"More," Camila smiled, pointing to the TV. Dinah wiped her eyes and checked the time on her phone, groaning when she realized they'd stayed up later than she had planned. She sat up and shook her head, turning the TV off with the remote next to her. Camila tilted her head to the side.

"It's time for bed," Dinah yawned and stood up, walking over to the stairs. Camila followed slowly, walking only on her tiptoes.

"Sleep?" Camila inquired once they reached the top of the stairs. Dinah nodded and opened her bedroom door. Camila stood hesitantly in the hallway.

"Cold," Camila shook her head.

Dinah sighed and grabbed Camila's arm, pulling her into the bedroom to avoid waking anyone up. "I have warmer clothes you can wear," she said, walking over to her dresser and searching through her drawers. "Here," she handed the smaller girl a long sleeved shirt.

Camila looked at the shirt in her hands, opening her mouth to say something but noticing the annoyed look on Dinah's face. She quickly grew quiet.

"Remember, this is your side of the bed," Dinah mumbled, pointing to the side where Camila had slept. The Polynesian girl didn't wait for a response before crawling under the covers and turning away from Camila.

Camila stood quietly, holding the shirt in her hands. She slowly slipped out of the t-shirt of Lauren's she had on and tugged on Dinah's shirt. Frowning, she realized it didn't smell the same as Lauren's. So instead, Camila hugged Lauren's t-shirt to her chest and padded over to the bed.

"Dinah?" she whispered, standing at the edge of the bed and looking at the other girl. There was no response, Dinah had already fallen asleep. Camila sighed, hugging the shirt even tighter to her chest and wiggling under the covers. She bit her lip, not happy that Dinah had put a pillow in the middle of the bed to separate them.

With a soft sigh, Camila curled up into a ball and brought the shirt up to rest in the crook of her neck, inhaling the scent she'd already become so comfortable with. She lay for a while in silence, staring blankly at the darkness in front of her. After entertaining herself with her thoughts for what felt like hours, her eyelids grew heavy and slowly closed shut.

Sleep had just overtaken the small girl when suddenly her breathing intensified. Memories came back in flashes of white and red, and a bead of sweat dripped down from her brow. Camila gasped for air, waking herself up. Her heart was beating erratically and she sat up quickly, hugging Lauren's shirt underneath her chin and scanning the room anxiously.

Every shadow, every small beam of light suddenly adopted the possibility of danger. Camila shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut. She didn't like this. The small girl wiped frantically at the sweat on her forehead, trying to catch the breath she didn't know she'd lost.

Cautiously, she looked over at the girl in the bed next to her. Dinah was fast asleep. Camila considered waking her, but she knew in just the next room over, there was someone who she'd rather be with. So quietly, she held Lauren's t-shirt tightly to her chest and tip toed quickly to the door, checking around her once more for anything that could be harmful. She peered out in the hallway to make sure it was safe before slipping out of Dinah's room.

Lauren hadn't been able to sleep that night. She was too busy reliving her high school days, trying to make a list of everything Camila had ever done to hurt her. The only direct thing Camila had done was read her texts, though. The rest of Camila's offenses had just been caused by her cheerleader friends. This confused Lauren even more.

And the Camila she knew in high school was completely different than the Camila who had shown up at their apartment two days ago. Dare she say it, Lauren wanted to get to know the _new_ Camila. She continued to push the thought to the back of her mind, cursing herself for even thinking of being nice to the girl.

She'd been staring at her ceiling for over an hour when a flicker of light brought her out of her thoughts. She sat up quickly, staring at the crack in the door. "Wha...?" she yawned, running a hand through her messy hair and narrowing her eyes to try and see who was there.

The door creaked open slightly and a small figure entered the room. She should've known. Camila.

"What do you want?" Lauren sighed. When she didn't get a response, she rolled over on her side and reached to turn on the small lamp next to her bed. Her heart jumped when she turned back over and could finally see the smaller girl.

Camila's hair was still in the same bun from earlier that day, but half of it was falling out on one side of her face. Small pieces of hair were sticking to her forehead, which was glistening with a thin layer of sweat. The small girl was visibly upset, Lauren could tell by the pained look in her eyes and the irregular speed of her breathing.

"What's wrong?" Lauren asked, tilting her head to the side and sitting up in her bed. Camila tilted her head the same way Lauren had, studying the green eyed girl in the dim light of the bedroom.

"Lolo?" Camila whispered, taking the tiniest of steps forward and hugging the t-shirt close to her chest.

Lauren chose to ignore the nickname the girl had given her. It was actually kind of cute. _Kind of_. But barley. Lauren actually hated it... no she didn't. The green eyed girl sighed and nodded. "Yeah?"

Camila took a deep breath and glanced nervously around the room, as if she were afraid of someone watching them. "Are you my friend?" There was a pleading tone in her voice, and Lauren could tell Camila was on the verge of some sort of breakdown.

Letting her hands drop to her sides in defeat, Lauren sighed heavily. "Yes, I'm your friend," she nodded slowly, suddenly feeling glad that she'd said those words. Camila's face lit up for a second, but she quickly remembered why she was here and her expression quickly faltered.

"Promise?" Camila mumbled, her voice barley a whisper. Her anxiousness was killing Lauren, and the green eyed girl quickly held out her pinky in front of Camila.

"Promise," she nodded once. Camila sighed in relief, slowly reaching out and interlocked their pinkies. Lauren felt how warm Camila's hands were and only grew more concerned. "Now what's wrong?" she asked, adopting a softer tone and patting the spot on the bed next to her.

Camila looked surprised by Lauren's sudden change in character, but if she was, the smaller girl didn't question it. She practically jumped on the bed next to Lauren, landing on her knees and quickly tucking her feet under her. She glanced around the room once more.

The small girl leaned in close to Lauren, as if she were telling her a secret. "There are bad things here," she whispered, before drawing her face away from Lauren and quickly scanning the room to see if anyone had heard them.

"Bad things?" Lauren questioned, growing even more concerned than she already was. Camila took her bottom lip in-between her teeth and nodded quickly. "What bad things?"

Camila shook her head violently and squeezed her eyes shut, practically making the entire bed shake. Lauren quickly reached out and grabbed the girl's shoulders to try and still her. Camila's eyes shot open and she almost flinched backwards, but she realized who the hands belonged to and remained still.

"There's no bad things here," Lauren motioned around the room. "See? It's just my bedroom. I sleep in here every night." Camila took a deep breath. Lauren slowly drew her hands back from Camila's shoulders and the smaller girl looked around nervously.

"There are bad things," Camila repeated herself. She hugged the shirt tighter to her chest. Lauren sighed and thought for a moment, trying to figure out how to calm Camila down.

"Here," Lauren scooted back on the bed and lifted her comforter. "It's a fort. We'll be safe under here, c'mon," she slid under the covers and motioned for Camila to do the same. Confused but curious, Camila crawled next to Lauren. The green eyed girl then pulled the covers over both of their heads, using her knees to keep the blankets from smothering them.

Camila instantly whimpered when the darkness overtook them and Lauren quickly fished around in the sheets to grab her phone. Moments later, the phone's flashlight was flicked on and she set the device between them to give them light.

"We're safe under here," Lauren said softly. Camila lay on her back next to Lauren, still breathing heavily. "Why did you come in here?"

"Bad things," Camila mumbled, pointing to her head and tapping it gently.

"Bad things in your head?" Lauren asked, slowly catching on to what Camila was trying to explain to her. The small girl nodded quickly, confirming Lauren's suspicions.

"Did you have a nightmare?" the green eyed girl inquired. Camila tilted her head to the side. "Did you see bad things in your sleep?" Lauren rephrased her question. This earned a slow nod from Camila, and Lauren noticed the smaller girl's bottom lip was trembling.

"Hey, hey, don't cry," Lauren shook her head and sat up, pushing the blankets off of them. "Everyone sees bad things in their sleep sometimes, even me."

"Even Lolo?" Camila asked, sitting up slowly next to Lauren.

The green eyed girl sighed and nodded. "They're called nightmares," Lauren explained. "Sometimes they can be really scary, but want to know a secret?"

Camila nodded slowly.

"They can't hurt you," Lauren gave the girl a soft smile, trying to reassure her that she was safe. "They're only in your head," she reached up and tapped on Camila's forehead like the girl had done before.

"Promise?" Camila whispered, holding out her pinky finger. Lauren nodded softly and interlocked their fingers, already realizing she was getting too close to this girl. But she was met with the overwhelming need to protect her.

Camila was still breathing heavily, and Lauren watched as she tugged at the sleeves of her shirt.

"Are you hot?" Lauren asked, motioning to the heavy shirt of Dinahs that Camila had on. The brown eyed girl nodded, looking at Lauren pleadingly.

"And I'm guessing you want to wear one of my shirts?" Lauren raised an eyebrow and sighed, knowing what Camila's answer would be. The smaller girl smiled instantly and nodded.

Lauren laughed. She laughed, surprisingly. Honestly, the older girl was just relieved that she'd somehow managed to calm Camila down. She slid out from under the covers and opened the first drawer of her dresser where she kept her t-shirts. Grabbing a black shirt with the name of her college printed on it, she tossed it to Camila. Luckily, the smaller girl didn't seem to have a problem catching it.

Camila stood up, peeling off her own shirt. Lauren turned around and nearly gasped. She hadn't expected Camila to change in her room. But more importantly, she hadn't expected what was _under_ the shirt Camila had been wearing.

"What happened?" she asked, crossing the room and stopping Camila before she could pull the t-shirt on over her head. Her torso was covered in bruises. Some dark purple, some light green, some large, some small. There was no pattern, they were just randomly splurged all over her body. Lauren had to stop herself from reaching out to touch them, to make sure she wasn't hallucinating.

"Ouch," Camila whispered, hanging her head down. She looked almost ashamed.

Lauren bit her lip. She knew better than to push Camila on any explanations tonight. They were both exhausted. "It's okay," Lauren said softly, shaking her head. She took the shirt from Camila's hands and helped the smaller girl slip it on over her head. Camila looked down at the shirt and then smiled brightly up at Lauren.

"We've got to get you back to bed," Lauren nodded, turning towards her door. She paused when she didn't hear Camila following her back to Dinah's room, and turned back around to find the smaller girl already sitting happily on her bed. Sighing in defeat, Lauren pulled her door closed behind her and walked over to the bed.

"Your hair is a mess," she noted, giving in to the temptation and reaching forwards to brush the matted hair out of Camila's face. Brown eyes looked up at her contently. Lauren just sighed and grabbed her brush from her nightstand. "I'll braid it for you."

Camila didn't respond, so Lauren just crawled up on the bed behind the girl and reached up to let the hair fall from the rest of the bun. Long, dark waves cascaded down her shoulders. In high school, Camila had always worn her hair up in a high ponytail, along with a bow that matched their school's colors.

As soon as Lauren ran a brush through Camila's hair, she realized just how knotted it was. Ally had said that Camila knew how to shower, but she obviously didn't know how to get the tangles out of her hair.

"Ouch," Camila mumbled as Lauren began to slowly work the knots out from each layer of her hair. "Ouch, ouch," she huffed.

"I'm almost done," Lauren said quietly. She tugged gently at the brush, separating the small hairs and moving onto the next knot. Camila had more hair that she appeared to have.

Luckily, Camila sat quietly while Lauren finished getting the mats out of her hair. Once she was done, Lauren realized just how much better Camila's hair looked. It was wavy and smooth, and it lay much more flat against her head now that the knots were gone.

"Now I just have to braid it," Lauren explained. She slowly ran her fingers through Camila's hair a few times, getting a feel for the texture. It smelled like her shampoo, which she assumed Camila had used when she was showering earlier. She grabbed a section of hair at the top of Camila's head and began a fishtail braid that extended down the back of her head and curved to the side. Braiding soothed her, and she didn't even realize she had been humming.

"Music," Camila noted, turning to look at Lauren. The green eyed girl had to lean forward to keep her hold on the unfinished braid, and she used her other hand to turn Camila's head back around.

"I was humming, yeah," Lauren shrugged, quickly finishing off the braid and securing it with a hair tie. "All done," she swept the braid over Camila's shoulder so the girl could see.

"Pretty?" Camila asked, turning back around to look at Lauren. The green eyed girl nodded. Camila yawned, still retaining the soft smile on her face.

"Tired?" Lauren raised an eyebrow. Camila bit her lip hesitantly, and Lauren tilted her head to the side. "What?"

"Scared," Camila mumbled.

Lauren sighed and pointed to the blankets. "That's our fort, remember? Nothing can hurt you under there. Plus, remember what I told you? Dreams aren't real. I promised."

Camila thought for a moment before nodding, remembering what Lauren had told her. She quickly shimmied under the covers, and Lauren sighed heavily. What had she gotten herself into?

Too tired to try and fight with herself, Lauren crawled over to the other side of the bed and pulled the covers over both of them. Camila scooted closer to Lauren, and the green eyed girl noticed. It was as if the smaller girl wanted to get as close as she could to Lauren without touching her. Lauren knew arguing wouldn't do any good.

Her phone buzzed and brought her out of her thoughts. She glanced at Camila, who hadn't noticed. Lauren grabbed her phone and narrowed her eyes to read the message on her screen.

**[1:23 - Dinah] Have any of you guys seen Camila? She's not in bed.**

Lauren sighed, reading the message from Dinah in the group chat. She was going to have a lot of explaining to do. Her fingers tapped slowly at the keyboard, glancing over at the small girl in bed next to her.

**[1:24 - Lauren] I've got her.**

She could only imagine Dinah's reaction when she got her text

**[1:24 - Dinah] You're kidding me, right?**

Lauren sighed, biting her lip and trying to think of a reply. Her phone buzzed before she could, though.

**[1:25 - Normani] Dinah Jane, may I remind you that we have class in less than 9 hours? Get your ass in bed. We can talk about Camila's game of musical beds tomorrow.**

Lauren laughed softly to herself, thankful for Normani and her tendency to be a light sleeper. She set her phone next to her pillow and rolled onto her back, closing her eyes and trying to fall asleep. Lauren eventually fell asleep after reliving the entire day in her head, until she finally let sleep overtake her.

Camila opened her eyes every few minutes, checking to see if Lauren was still awake. Once she was assured that the older girl was asleep and wouldn't try to sneak out on her, Camila closed her eyes for good. She fell asleep quickly, glad that Lauren didn't do what Dinah had done and make a pillow barrier between them.


	6. six

Lauren awoke the next morning to an empty bed. It took her a few seconds to remember the events of the night before, and when she did, she sat up quickly and scanned the room. Camila was nowhere in sight.

"Camila?" she called, standing up and walking over to the door of her room. There was a rustling noise from behind her as soon as she went to open the door. Pausing for a moment, Lauren turned around slowly, following the source of the noise and ending up in front of her closet. Cautiously, she opened the closet door, widening her eyes when she saw Camila.

"What are you doing?!" Lauren choked. She bent down and snatched her sketchbook out of Camila's hands, glaring at the smaller girl. "Where did you get this?"

"I found it," Camila chirped, climbing to her feet and smiling widely. Lauren's eyebrows furrowed when she saw the streaks of marker that stained Camila's hands. Her grip on the sketchbook tightened.

"It's _mine_ ," Lauren huffed. She walked back over to the bed, sitting down and hesitantly opening to the first page. Her anger boiled when she realized that Camila had covered every single one of her sketches with meaningless scribbles. Hours and hours of her hard work were now ruined.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" Lauren yelled, standing up and throwing her sketchbook across the room. It hit the wall, scattering her papers all over the floor. Camila instantly flinched and covered her ears.

"Do you know how much time I spent on these?" Lauren continued, crossing her arms and glaring at Camila from across the room.

"They are pretty," Camila nodded, walking over and picking up one of the drawings from where Lauren had thrown them.

"They _were_ pretty, Camila, until you ruined them," Lauren spat. "Just like the flowers. What did I tell you about leaving pretty things alone?"

Camila just stared at her blankly for a few moments before holding up the drawing and walking over to Lauren, extending it for her to see. Lauren groaned and pushed the drawing out of her face.

Confused, Camila tilted her head to the side. "Lolo?"

"That's not my name," Lauren's voice was low in the back of her throat. "I don't want to talk to you, _get out_ of my room," she growled, pointing in the direction of her door.

Camila took a slow step backwards, still holding onto the drawing. "I am sorry," she held the drawing up and looked at Lauren pleadingly.

"I don't care!" Lauren snapped, grabbing Camila by the shoulders and shoving her into the hallway. "Leave me alone," she warned, slamming the door in the smaller girl's face and making sure to lock it. She waited until she heard footsteps walking away from her room before collapsing back onto her bed and groaning.

Lauren's sketchbook was her prized possession. She never let anyone touch it. Let alone open it and draw in it. Months and months of hard work were now useless. The green eyed girl sat up and eyed the collection of papers scattered along the wall. She should've known better than letting Camila into her room.

With a frustrated sigh, Lauren dragged herself out of bed and began collecting all the papers that had spilled out of the sketchbook. It all appeared to be just meaningless scribbles to her. She began sifting through all of her drawings, making sure Camila hadn't spared one or two of her sketches.

Of course, she hadn't. Every page had marker scribbled over it. One drawing in particular caught her attention, though. Her half-finished daises from yesterday. It appeared as if Camila had tried to finish drawing them, adding the flowers atop the stems that Lauren had sketched in pencil. Lauren closed her eyes and sighed, placing the drawings back into her sketchbook and shoving it into her backpack.

Lauren ended up falling asleep once more on the end of her bed. She was only asleep for a few minutes, though, before Dinah knocked on the door.

"Where's Camila?" the Polynesian girl called through the door. Lauren yawned, wiping her eyes and walking over to unlock the door. Dinah stood on the other side, a look of concern on her face when she realized Camila wasn't in the bedroom with Lauren. "I thought you said she was with you?"

"She _was_ ," Lauren shrugged. "Until she trashed my sketchbook, then I yelled at her and made her leave."

Dinah's face contorted through a multitude of emotions. She sympathized with Lauren, knowing what Camila had done to her. But at the same time, she was concerned for Camila, and a bit shocked that Lauren would just let her wander off.

"Well, _great_ ," Dinah threw her hands in the air. "We've lost her for the second time in two days." The younger girl brought her palm to her forehead and sighed in frustration.

"She's not our responsibility," Lauren muttered, leaning against the doorframe. Dinah lifted her head and glared at the other girl.

"Look, Laur," she sighed. "I know you're still mad at her for what she did... I am too," Dinah glanced at the floor and then back to Lauren. "But something's changed, and I don't want her to wander off on her own and get hurt, or worse. You've at least got to admit that _this_ Camila is a hell of a lot different than the girl we knew in high school."

Lauren rolled her eyes and shrugged. "Yeah, whatever." She went to close her door once more, but Dinah stuck her foot out to prevent Lauren from doing so.

"You need to find her," the Polynesian girl said firmly.

Lauren opened her mouth to protest but Dinah stared her down with a look of finality. Groaning, Lauren turned on her heel and grabbed one of her hoodies from her dresser. She tugged it over her head while retrieving her keys from the nightstand.

"Can't we just drop her off at the pound or something?" Lauren muttered, slipping past Dinah and down the stairs.

"You don't mean that," Dinah called after her, and Lauren rolled her eyes, but remained silent because she knew the other girl was right. Dinah followed her down the stairs, watching to make sure Lauren actually left the apartment.

"I don't even know where to look!" Lauren huffed, shaking her head in frustration. "For all I know she could be wandering around in the middle of traffic."

"You better hurry up then," Dinah warned, pointing to the door. Sighing, Lauren just nodded and slipped out of the door. The thought of Camila being lost in the city was starting to scare her more than she was willing to admit.

She decided to take the stairs, hoping they'd get her to her car faster. Jogging out of the building, she scanned the area around the apartment building for any signs of where Camila had gone. There was a construction worker sitting on a bench outside the building, and she approached him quickly.

"Have you seen a girl about my height, braided hair, in her pajamas?" she asked, biting her lip nervously. The cars whizzed past on the street and she started becoming more and more concerned.

"A while ago, yeah," he motioned down in the street in the opposite direction of the park. Lauren nodded quickly in thanks, not saying another word before jogging over to her care and sliding into the driver's seat. Moments later, she was driving quickly in the direction the man had shown her.

She drove for a few minutes or so without any signs of Camila. Just as she was about to turn back around, a flash of black caught her eye against the grass. She quickly pulled her car over, looking both ways and crossing the road.

Camila was sitting cross legged in the median of the busy street, surrounded by only a few feet of grass on each side. Lauren shivered, wondering how Camila had managed to make it across the street safely.

"Camila? What the hell are you doing?" Lauren snapped, keeping an eye out for cars once she reached the median. Camila whipped her head around, tilting her head to the side when she saw Lauren. She didn't smile widely like she usually did, though, and Lauren tried to act like it didn't bother her as much as it had.

Camila stared at Lauren for a few seconds but didn't say anything, instead she just turned back to what she was looking at. Lauren furrowed her eyebrows and circled around in front of the girl, and Camila quickly held her hand out to make Lauren back up.

"Careful," she mumbled, making sure Lauren wouldn't step forwards. The green eyed girl looked down at the ground, realizing what Camila was looking at. Two tulips had grown in the small patch of grass in the median.

"What are you doing?" Lauren repeated, crossing her arms and trying to be intimidating. Camila glanced up at her and then back down to the flowers.

"What you told me to do," Camila pointed to the flowers. "I am looking at pretty things, and not killing them." She reached out and patted the flowers gently, with a look of concern on her face.

"That's not what I meant," Lauren sighed, giving in and sitting down across from Camila.

"Then what did you mean?" Camila asked. She tilted her head to the side and looked up at Lauren. "I made you yell," she added, biting her lip. Lauren grew confused when she saw fear flicker in her eyes.

"I just don't like it when people touch my drawings," Lauren nodded. "I meant sometimes you just have to admire pretty things from a distance, instead of trying to keep them. Love isn't about possession, it's about appreciation."

Camila looked at Lauren, furrowing her eyebrows together.

"Nevermind," Lauren sighed, standing up and brushing the grass off of her pants. "C'mon, it's not safe here. We have to go home." She held her hand out to help Camila up from the ground.

"Home?" Camila asked curiously. She studied Lauren's hand before taking it in her own, allowing the girl to help her up to her feet.

Lauren went to draw her hand back, but Camila didn't let go. Instead, the smaller girl interlocked their fingers and skipped forwards. Lauren grabbed her and pulled her backwards, just as a car whizzed by.

"You have to look both ways to make sure there are no cars," Lauren said after she caught her breath, Camila had almost run straight into the heavy traffic. Maybe holding hands would be a good safety precaution.

Lauren held tightly onto Camila while she waited for the traffic to clear. Once it did, she tugged the girl's hand and led her across the street. Halfway across, Camila planted her feet in the ground and bent down to study something on the pavement.

"No, Camila," Lauren said sternly, pulling the girl up and guiding them quickly over to the car. Camila looked intently at the penny she'd picked up, turning it back and forth in front of her face.

Growing frustrated, Lauren took the penny out of Camila's hand and tossed it onto the sidewalk, pulling her towards the car and opening the passenger side. Camila gasped, looking at Lauren as if she'd just murdered someone.

"You hurt him!" she huffed, pulling away from Lauren and scrambling over to pick up the penny. Sighing in defeat, Lauren crossed her arms and waited for Camila to return to her, penny in tow. "Say sorry," Camila held the penny in front of Lauren's face and wiggled it back and forth.

Lauren raised an eyebrow at Camila. "Sorry," she muttered, motioning for Camila to get in the car. The small girl ignored her and shoved the penny even closer to Lauren's face.

"Say it like you mean it," she nodded once.

"I'm sorry for throwing you, Mr. Penny," Lauren laughed at her situation. Camila, satisfied with Lauren's apology, crawled into the passenger seat. Lauren quickly crossed over to the driver's side, making sure to lock the doors incase Camila would try and get out.

"I am sorry for making you yell," Camila mumbled. Lauren looked over at her in confusion. "Stupid, stupid," Camila whispered under her breath, knocking on her forehead and shaking her head.

Lauren suddenly grew concerned and reached over to move Camila's hand away from her head. "It's okay," she sighed, studying the small girl's response. "They're just drawings. They can always be replaced, right?"

Camila nodded softly and clasped her hands in her lap. "Are you mad?"

"No, it's fine, I told you that I forgave you," Lauren reaffirmed. Camila smiled widely and clapped her hands.

"I'm hungry," Camila announced, drumming her fingers on her lap as they drove. Lauren sighed, thinking for a moment.

"What do you want to eat?" Lauren asked, taking her eyes off the road for a moment to look at Camila, who already appeared to be deep in thought.

"Ice cream," Camila chirped. The small girl clapped her hands together eagerly. Lauren opened her mouth to protest that ice cream wasn't an actual meal, but she stopped when she saw the pleading look on Camila's face.

"Ice cream it is, then," she laughed, passing their apartment building and heading to the Frozen Yogurt shop down the street. Camila giggled happily. Lauren realized that she really liked that sound.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's chapter 6! thank you for all the kind comments and messages they literally make my day so much better. i love you all so much. have a good day bbies!!
> 
> ao3 readers: i've only just started uploading the fic on here since people have requested it! so i hope you enjoy it :) my twitter is @lenajfc and my tumblr is txrches, for anyone who wanted to chat or anything!
> 
> \- lena


	7. seven

Minutes later Lauren was opening the passenger side door for Camila, who crawled out excitedly and began walking in the complete opposite direction of the store. Shaking her head, Lauren ran after her and grabbed her hand.

"This way," Lauren laughed. Camila held onto her hand tightly, skipping behind Lauren with an excited smile on her face. Lauren led them both into the store, ignoring the confused stares from the other customers when Camila continued to skip once they were inside.

Lauren grabbed two of the bowls from the counter and handed one to Camila. "Do you know how to do this?"

Camila looked at her blankly and Lauren sighed. "Here, I'll show you," she led Camila, who was still holding her hand, over to the wall of self-serve yogurt.

"These are the flavors," she nodded to the pictures at the top of the machines. Camila nodded and studied each one intently. Lauren let go of her hand so she could hold her bowl underneath the machine that dispensed Cookies&Cream flavored yogurt.

"See, you just pull the lever and—," Lauren paused when she turned around and saw Camila already filling up her cup with banana flavored frozen yogurt. She ran over and stopped the lever just before Camila's cup overflowed.

"That's enough for now," Lauren laughed. Camila pouted.

"Again," she pointed to the machine, going to fill up her cup even more. Lauren shook her head quickly and pulled Camila over to the Cookies&Cream machine.

"Here," she handed Camila her empty cup. "You can fill up mine with this one."

Camila nodded happily, taking Lauren's bowl but walking over to a different machine. Before Lauren could stop her, Camila was filling her cup with Raspberry flavored yogurt. Lauren shook her head, sighing and accepting the cup back from a satisfied Camila.

"There's toppings over there," she pointed to the counter next to them. Lauren grabbed Camila's hand before she could run over and followed her. "Don't use too many."

Camila nodded, bending down and studying all of her different options. Lauren was adding strawberry slices into her cup when Camila tapped her on the shoulder and proudly held up her frozen yogurt, which was now covered neatly with banana slices.

"You really like bananas, don't you?" Lauren asked, laughing softly.

"Yes, yellow," Camila nodded. She smiled proudly, and Lauren led her over to the cashier. They set their cups down on the scale and Lauren paid. She sent a warning glare to the man behind the counter when he began eyeing Camila, who was clapping her hands in excitement. He quickly gave her the change and she thanked him.

Lauren handed Camila a spoon, walking over to one of the tables. Camila saw down, crossing her legs underneath her in the small chair. Lauren laughed, sitting down across from her and taking a bite of her ice cream. She hadn't expected to like the Raspberry flavor, but it was actually pretty good.

Camila started eating her ice cream by picking the bananas off and popping them into her mouth one by one. Lauren watched as Camila happily chewed on her food. She looked up from her bowl and smiled widely at Lauren.

"Is it good?" Lauren asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yellow," Camila nodded, as if it were a completely reasonable answer. By now, Lauren had realized that it was to Camila.

"Pink," Lauren pointed to her cup. Camila nodded excitedly, smiling at Lauren as if she'd just unlocked one of the deepest secrets of the world. Lauren liked that feeling.

Camila finished half of her ice cream before she looked up at Lauren nervously. Noticing this, Lauren pointed to her cup. "Are you full?"

Camila nodded slowly. Lauren just nodded and took both of their cups, throwing them away. She saw the smaller girl sigh in relief, wondering why it bothered her so much to tell her when she was full.

"You don't have to be scared of me, y'know," Lauren broke the silence as they were walking back to the car. Camila was walking beside her, looking straight up at the sky and watching the clouds.

"I know," Camila turned to look at Lauren. "You are Lolo. You have a big heart," she reached out and knocked on Lauren's chest, as if to show her that her heart was there. Lauren's breath caught in her throat and all she could do was nod.

Once they reached the apartment, Camila skipped inside and looked around happily. Lauren checked the time, realizing they'd been out for longer than she thought. Rushed footsteps came down the stairs and Lauren turned around to find Dinah studying them both.

"You found her?" Dinah glanced at Camila, who was now sitting on the floor and flipping thought one of the magazines from the coffee table. Lauren nodded. "What took so long?" The Polynesian girl plopped down on the couch.

"Lolo got ice cream," Camila spoke up, smiling widely and holding up the yellow plastic spoon that she'd saved from the store. Dinah raised an eyebrow at Lauren and smirked.

"What?" Lauren shrugged, sitting down on the couch next to the other girl. She tried to play off the time she spent with Camila as merely something she had to do, but she was starting to realize that she enjoyed the company of the younger girl.

"Nothing," Dinah gave Lauren a knowing smirk. The green eyed girl rolled her eyes, pulling her phone out of her pocket and checking the time. She sat up quickly when she realized she had classes the next day.

"Shit," Lauren shook her head, groaning. She was supposed to turn in three sketches for her first class tomorrow. She had finished them all, until Camila got to them with a marker. Dinah raised an eyebrow at her, silently asking for an explanation.

"I have some... homework I need to work on," Lauren said, trying not to let Camila know that she had inconvenienced her by ruining her sketchbook. Dinah looked at her questioningly, but didn't say anything, allowing Lauren to disappear up the stairs and leave Camila under the Polynesian girl's watchful eye.

The rest of Lauren's night was spent sprawled out on her bedroom floor, trying to recreate the sketches she had planned to turn in. After multiple hours of frustrated groans and crumpled up pieces of paper, Lauren finally produced three sketches that she considered mediocre, but she was too exhausted to try again. Telling herself they were good enough, she changed into an old shirt to wear to bed.

Just as she was about to turn her light off, a noise in the hallway caught her attention.

"No," Camila's voice rang out. Lauren heard footsteps and then her doorknob jiggled, but it stopped moments later.

"Camila, my room is this way," Dinah huffed, trying to pull the other girl in the direction of the other door.

"N _ooooo_ ," Camila groaned, shaking her head and reaching for Lauren's doorknob once more. "Lolo."

"She doesn't want you in her room, Camila," Dinah sighed in frustration.

Unable to listen to their power struggle for any longer, Lauren got up from her bed and opened her door slightly.

"Lolo!" Camila smiled widely, wiggling out of Dinah's grip and walking over in front of Lauren's door. "Knock knock."

Lauren raised an eyebrow. "Who's there?"

Camila stared at her blankly. Lauren and Dinah exchanged glances, and the Polynesian girl grabbed Camila's wrist, trying to pull her away from Lauren's door.

"N _ooooooooo_ ," Camila mumbled. She shook her head and tried to pull away.

"Camila, I swear, s—," Dinah started.

"It's fine," Lauren sighed, opening her door wider and motioning for Camila to come in. Dinah looked shocked, and Lauren just shrugged. "If you want sleep, this is the only way you're going to get it."

Obviously not buying her excuse, Dinah smirked and winked at Lauren. Clapping her hands excitedly, Camila ran into Lauren's room and dived onto her bed. Lauren quickly picked her art supplies off of the floor and hid them in the top shelf of her closet where Camila wouldn't find them. When she turned back into her room, Camila was rummaging through her dresser.

The small girl held up a yellow shirt that Lauren had gotten from a school fundraiser. She tilted her head to the side. "Yellow?"

"You can wear it, yeah," Lauren sighed, walking over to her bed and sitting down. Camila nodded, tugging off her shirt and revealing the same bruises Lauren had seen the night before. The thought of someone doing that to Camila made her sick to her stomach, so Lauren tried to tell herself they were probably just from cheerleading.

"Do they hurt?" Lauren asked before she could stop herself. Camila looked at her, tilting her head to the side. The green eyed girl stood up and ran her fingertips over one of the bruises on Camila's shoulder. "These, the bruises, do they hurt?"

Camila looked at her arm and bit her lip. She blinked a few times, trying to remember if they hurt or not. "Once upon a time they did," she looked back up to Lauren, trying to explain as best as she could.

Lauren nodded softly. "Did someone do this to you?" she asked, being driven by general concern for the younger girl. She saw Camila's face drain of color and instantly regretted it, but before she could apologize, the smaller girl spoke.

"Bedtime," Camila nodded once, keeping her voice calm. Lauren decided not to push anything else, and helped Camila pull the shirt on over her head. Both girls crawled into bed, and Camila lay in the same spot as the night before, staying as close to Lauren as she could without actually touching her. It was as if there was some invisible barrier between them. Lauren fell asleep fairly quickly, exhausted from a long day of chasing Camila around.

Lauren broke the barrier.

She was awoken a little after midnight by panicked whimpers. She rubbed her eyes, lifting her head and looking at the trembling girl beside her. Camila was in the same state as she had been the night before when she came into Lauren's room.

"Camila?" Lauren whispered, nudging the girl's shoulder. There was no response.

"Camila, wake up," she said louder, grabbing the girl's face in her hands. Camila's eyes opened instantly, and a look of terror crossed her face. Lauren quickly let go of her, not wanting to scare her. The smaller girl instantly relaxed when she saw who it was, though.

"Lolo," her voice trembled. Camila sat up, hugging her pillow to her chest and looking around frantically. "Lolo there are bad things," she whimpered. Lauren sat up and shook her head quickly.

"There's no bad things," Lauren reached out and set her hand on Camila's knee, being cautious incase physical touch would scare the girl. Camila looked down at Lauren's hand, gently taking it between her own two hands and bringing it up to her face. She pressed the palm of Lauren's hand against her cheek, causing the green eyed girl to shiver.

"There's nothing to be afraid of," Lauren said after a few moments of silence, Camila was still holding the older girl's hand against the side of her face, and Lauren ran her thumb over Camila's cheek soothingly. "There are no bad things here, I promise."

"Will you keep the bad things away?" Camila asked slowly, as if she were considering each word carefully. Lauren bit her lip and nodded softly. "Promise?"

"Promise," Lauren whispered. She saw Camila attempt a small smile, but it faltered. She could tell the small girl was still scared, and it was killing her. All she wanted to do was figure out what was hurting Camila and make sure it never hurt her again. The smaller girl looked anxiously around the room and her bottom lip began to tremble.

"Camila," Lauren whispered, feeling horrible that she didn't know what was bothering her. The smaller girl continued holding Lauren's hand against her cheek, as if it had some magical healing powers.

"Lolo," Camila mumbled, squeezing her eyes shut. Lauren saw how close she was to crying and gave in.

"C'mere," Lauren said softly, using her free hand to pull Camila closer to her. Camila looked up in shock, but quickly crawled closer to Lauren, still looking at her hesitantly.

"You're safe here, okay?" Lauren nodded slowly. Camila nodded, trying to believe the older girl, but she was still trembling in fear. The first tear broke against her waterline and ran down her face.

"Hey, hey, no tears," Lauren shook her head and pulled her hand away from Camila's face. The smaller girl whimpered, but silenced when Lauren wrapped her arms around her waist and Camila was pulled into her lap. The green eyed girl hugged Camila close to her chest, feeling just how fast the girl's heart was beating.

Camila melted into Lauren instantly, knowing Lauren had broken the invisible barrier between them by allowing her to be held. She sniffed, hiding her face in the crook of the girl's neck.

"I don't know what's scaring you so badly, Camila," Lauren sighed, rubbing circles in the younger girl's back. "But if it helps, I'll try and help you get rid of the scary things."

Camila looked up slowly. Lauren's heart broke when she saw the small girl's face. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, but she wasn't making any noises. It looked as if she was trying to cry silently, not to disturb anyone. It made Lauren's heart ache.

"Lolo," Camila whispered, reaching out and pressing her own palm against Lauren's cheek. "Lolo is good," she nodded, reaffirming the fact to herself. Lauren's breath caught in her throat and she felt her cheeks blush red.

Camila reached up and scratched her face, becoming frustrated when her tears didn't go away. Lauren noticed this and used the sleeve of her hoodie to wipe the tears from the younger girl's cheeks. "Do you want to try and sleep?" Lauren asked after they sat there for a few minutes in silence.

Nodding slowly, Camila sniffed and wiped her eyes just as Lauren had done. The older girl grabbed her phone, turning on soft music in hopes that it would soothe Camila to sleep.

Lauren lay down, only to find Camila curled up against her side moments later, with her legs wrapped around hers. It was as if Camila couldn't get close enough to her. Sighing, Lauren realized she was already in way too deep.

Both girls feel asleep very easily, comforted in knowing that the other was right beside them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: as promised, i told you'd i'd double update today and here it is! hopefully it was worth it bbies. ily. 
> 
> \- lena


	8. eight

"Lolo," Camila whined, wiggling out of Lauren's arms and tapping the older girl on the shoulder. "Up, Lolo, up." She nudged Lauren's side and huffed.

Camila's fact lit up as soon as Lauren's eyes fluttered open. "Lolo! There is light, Lolo!" She pointed to the window happily, showing the older girl that the sun had just made its way over the buildings around them.

Yawning, Lauren sat up and tried to recall what had happened the night before. What was today? _Shit_. She had class in less than an hour.

"Thank you," she nodded to Camila and rolled out of bed, frantically digging through her drawers to find something presentable to wear. Camila sat quietly on the bed, observing as Lauren changed into a pair of jeans and a light sweater.

"Ally?!" Lauren called, jogging across the hallway and into her bathroom. Camila followed closely behind her, standing in the doorway and watching as Lauren put on a thin coat of makeup, trying to make herself seem more awake.

"Huh?" Ally peered her head out of her doorway. Normani and Dinah were already in class, and Ally didn't have class until later that night. Lauren got home from her classes around noon.

"I have class," Lauren nodded in Ally's direction before crossing the hallway and grabbing her backpack out of her room. Camila continued following her as she busily shoved her belongings into her bag. "So you have to watch Camila."

Ally just nodded, running a hand through her hair and following the other two girls downstairs. Lauren grabbed her keys but paused just as she was about to open the door and leave. Camila was directly behind her, looking at her expectantly.

"You can't come with me," Lauren raised an eyebrow at Camila. "You have to stay with Ally."

"No," Camila shook her head.

"Yes, Camila, I have class," Lauren tapped her foot impatiently.

"Yes," Camila nodded once, causing Lauren to groan. She sent Ally a pleading look, and the older girl grabbed Camila's arm.

"Mila, we can make pancakes for Lauren when she gets back," she offered, nodding to Lauren to leave while the girl was distracted. Lauren mouthed a 'thank you' and slipped out the door, just in time to hear Camila whimper as the door shut.

Trying to shake off any guilt she had about leaving, Lauren tossed her backpack into the passenger seat of the car and sped off down the street. The short drive to her school gave her time to think about everything that was going on with Camila. She didn't quite understand how she was becoming so attached to the girl.

Eventually, she arrived outside of the building. She realized she was five minutes late, mentally cursing herself for forgetting to set her alarm the night before. Lauren had been too distracted by Camila.

She grabbed her backpack and jogged into the building, noticing her teacher had already begun teaching. Sighing, she opened the door slowly and felt everyone's eyes on her. Her teacher stopped what he was doing and turned to look at her. She winced, knowing he was one of the strictest teachers in the school.

"Looks like you've finally decided to join us, Ms. Jauregui," he nodded once at Lauren, who stood quietly in the doorway. "I've already collected the pieces we had due, so please put yours in your folder and bring over an extra set of brushes for yourself."

Lauren nodded quickly, thankful that she hadn't gotten in too much trouble. She was rarely late to class. She jogged over to the back of the classroom, sliding her backpack into her hands and searching for the sketches she had made the night before. They were nowhere in sight.

" _Shit_ ," she huffed, bending down and digging further into her bag.

"Something wrong, Ms. Jauregui?"

Lauren quickly shook her head and looked up at her teacher, Mr. Robertson, apologetically. "No sir, I just couldn't find my sketches for a second," she lied. She must've put them in her closet with the rest of her supplies instead of putting them into her backpack after Camila came in her room.

Unsure of what to do now, her eyes landed on the papers sticking out of her sketchbook. The sketches that Camila had scribbled on were the only thing she had. Anything would be better than a zero, she decided. She picked three of the drawings that Camila had tried to finish and slipped them into her folder, biting her lip and throwing her bag back over her shoulder. Once she was done, she grabbed a set of brushes and jogged to an open seat.

Halfway through the class, Lauren's teacher allowed the students the rest of the time to work on their assignments for the week. Lauren pulled out her sketchbook, flipping to a blank page and sketching aimlessly. All the other students were using different mediums. The girl next to her was using paint and the boy across from her was using clay. Lauren, however, always stuck with pencil. It was what she was comfortable with.

She glanced over at Mr. Robertson's desk, noticing that he had collected all of their folders from the back of the classroom. She held her breath. This meant that he was grading their assignments during class. She continued to sketch, but kept peering over to try and see if he was responding negatively to anything he was looking at.

By the end of class, she'd drawn nothing special. Her sketchbook was mostly just filled with various shapes that she'd absentmindedly doodled. The teacher dismissed them, and Lauren quickly gathered her things. Before she could slip out of the door, the teacher met her eyes.

"Can I see you for a few minutes, Lauren?" he asked, pushing his glasses up on his nose and looking down at something in his hands. Lauren swallowed hard, watching as the other students filed out of the classroom. Hesitantly, she stood in front of his desk and stared down at her shoes.

"I'm impressed, Ms. Jauregui."

Lauren's head shot up. "Wh-what?" she nearly laughed, knowing exactly what she had just turned in.

"Your pieces," he spread out the three pictures on the table between them. "I was expecting another one of your drab sketches, but these... these are incredibly thoughtful, balancing out the darks of your sketches with the bright colors and childish shapes. They capture the essence of imagination perfectly."

Lauren bit her lip, somewhat offended that he had called her sketches drab.

"I don't know what's gotten into you, Lauren, but I think you should continue working with different medias," he slid the papers back into her folder. "You've always been one of my more serious students, always turning in the same sketches week after week. This is a pleasant surprise." 

"I... Thank you," Lauren had to stop herself from laughing. Apparently Camila had just saved her from being a 'drab' sketch artist in her teacher's eyes. And anything that was worthy of his approval was a big deal.

"You've got some potential in you that I didn't realize was there, Lauren. You're dismissed," he nodded towards the door and smiled. _Smiled._ This was the first time Lauren had ever seen him smile.

"Uh, Mr. Robertson, may I borrow an easel? I have an idea for my next assignment," Lauren bit her lip, going out on a limb for once.

"Take whatever you need," he nodded, motioning to the back of the classroom where all the supplies were stored.

"Thank you, thank you so much," she grabbed her bag, finding the easels stacked in the back of the classroom and grabbing one to take out to her car. She silently thanked whatever forces had caused her to forget to pack the original sketches that morning.

Her next two classes passed by slowly. Art History dragged on and on, and she found herself constantly checking the clock to count down the minutes until she could leave and go back home. Back to Camila.

Lauren was worried that Camila had gotten into trouble while she was gone. Camila could have broken something, or hurt something, or hurt herself, or ran away. Lauren bit her lip, becoming more anxious to get home and make sure everything was okay.

After a long and boring lecture about the Impressionist Movement, Lauren's teacher finally dismissed them. She was the first one out the door. On the way home, she stopped by the grocery store and bought groceries for the week. Lauren might have paid special attention to the yellow colored foods, as well.

Eventually, she pulled into the apartment parking lot and made sure to bring all the grocery bags in one trip so she wouldn't have to leave Camila twice. She knocked on the apartment door with her foot, since her arms were filled with bags.

"Knock knock!" Camila's voice chirped from the other side of the door. Lauren bit her lip to keep herself from smiling.

"Who's there?" she replied, tilting her head to the side and blowing a loose strand of hair out of her face. Seconds later, the door flew open and Camila stood there with a wide smile on her face.

"Lolo," she hummed contently. Lauren quickly slipped inside so she could set the bags down on the island before they fell out of her arms. Ally appeared by her side moments later.

"We have a problem," Ally whispered. Camila was already distracted by the bags Lauren had brought. The small girl was digging through them and clapping her hands excitedly at every new item. Lauren raised an eyebrow and turned to Ally.

"What's up?" The green eyed girl asked, suddenly growing concerned.

Ally led Lauren into the living room. Both girls sat down on the couch and Ally took a deep breath. "Camila has bruises like... everywhere," she bit her lip.

"I know," Lauren admitted. "I saw them the other night... I forgot to say anything to you guys." Just as she finished, the apartment door opened and Dinah and Normani arrived, back from their classes.

"Guys," Ally motioned for them to come join the conversation. All four roommates gathered in a small circle while Camila continued observing the food Lauren had bought.

"What's going on?" Dinah asked. Normani nodded in agreement. Both girls looked concerned.

"Camila has bruises everywhere," Ally repeated what she had just told Lauren. The other two girls looked surprised.

"What? Why?" Normani spoke up. Ally and Lauren both shrugged.

"I asked her about them last night," Lauren admitted. "She wouldn't say anything, I don't think we'll be able to get anything out of her until _she_ wants to tell us." She looked down at her hands in her lap.

"Speaking of last night, Jauregui, what's gotten into you?" Dinah raised an eyebrow and Lauren groaned, slouching back in her chair. The other three girls all exchanged glances and then turned their attention back to Lauren.

"You're whipped," Normani mumbled under her breath. Lauren's head shot up, looking at all three girls giving her knowing glances.

"What?" Lauren asked, rolling her eyes and trying to avoid their gazes.

"You see the way she looks at you," Ally piped up. Lauren furrowed her eyebrows and glanced back to Camila in the kitchen, growing confused at what they were talking about.

"Camila? She looks at everyone the same," Lauren shrugged. "Plus she can barley brush her own hair, so I doubt she knows what's going on."

"Then how come she only wants to sleep in your room?" Dinah asked, trying to bring some sort of answer out of Lauren.

"And how come you let her call you Lolo?" Normani added.

Ally nodded. "And why does she only wear your clothes?"

"I don't know!" Lauren huffed and threw her hands up in the air. "I have nothing to do with that."

"Oh really?" Ally raised an eyebrow. "Then how come she spent all day today telling me about how you cuddled last night? And how you helped her get rid of the 'bad things'?"

Dinah and Normani both adopted shocked expressions at Ally's words, knowing how Lauren barley showed affection for anyone. Lauren's face burned red and she slumped down in her chair.

"I dunno," she mumbled, avoiding eye contact with all the other girls. They took that as a good enough answer from the girl, knowing not to push her any further.

"So I guess our plan of action is to just wait until Camila opens up to one of us?" Ally turned back to the other two girls, nodding in Lauren's direction, knowing that Lauren would be the first to know anything important to Camila.

"That's all we can do, right?" Normani asked, keeping an eye on the girl in the kitchen who was now studying the magnets on their refrigerator. Ally and Dinah nodded.

"Lol _oooooo,_ " Camila's voice rung out from the kitchen. Dinah, Normani, and Ally all turned to Lauren and smirked, causing the green eyed girl's face to turn bright red. She bit her lip, forcing herself to ignore Camila. She didn't want to give her roommates the satisfaction.

"Lolo?" Camila tilted her head to the side, wondering why the girl wasn't responding to her. "Lol _ooo._ "

"Alright, alright, I'm coming," Lauren sighed in defeat. She pushed herself up from the chair and ignored the looks she received from the other girls in the living room. For some reason, she found it impossible to ignore Camila.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: here's chapter eight! hope it lives up to your expectations, lol. have a great day bbies and enjoy the nice weather if you have it!! 
> 
> \- lena


	9. nine

"Lolo!" Camila hummed happily once Lauren walked into the kitchen. She shuffled over to the green eyed girl and held up a banana. "We missed you."

Lauren glanced back at her roommates, who were all watching their interaction from the couch. She raised an eyebrow at them, and they all turned away, knowing they'd been caught.

"Do you need me to peel that?" Lauren asked, eyeing the banana that Camila was holding up.

"No," Camila shook her head. She stared at the banana for a few moments before bringing it to her mouth and trying to bite into it. She quickly pulled the banana away and stared at it in disgust. "I broke it," she gasped.

Lauren laughed and shook her head. "You didn't break it," she took the banana out of Camila's hands and peeled it halfway, handing it back to her. "You just have to peel it first."

"My savior," Camila hummed happily, looking down at the banana and then up at Lauren. "Want some?" she tilted her head to the side and held the fruit up in Lauren's face.

Shrugging, Lauren leaned over and took a bite of the banana. Camila giggled excitedly.

"Thank you," Lauren laughed at Camila's excitement.

"Thank you," Camila repeated. She nodded once and took a bite of the banana, humming in approval.

"No, you're supposed to say you're welcome," Lauren pointed to Camila to explain. "If someone thanks you, you say 'you're welcome'."

"You're welcome, thank you," Camila nodded happily and turned around, walking over to the counter and sitting on one of the stools. Lauren giggled at Camila's attempt, leaning against the counter and glancing back in the living room. Her roommates looked away quickly, but Lauren knew they were still watching her.

"You have a pretty laugh," Camila observed. She leaned across the counter and placed her fingers on Lauren's lips, as if she could hear her laughing thought touch. "I like it when you laugh," Camila reaffirmed with a nod.

Lauren's cheeks grew red and she knew the other girls were all surprised by how easily she and Camila were getting along. "I guess I should do it more often, then," she shrugged, smirking when she saw Dinah mouth _'oh my god'_ to Normani out of the corner of her eye.

"Yes, you're welcome," Camila smiled with a mouthful of her banana. Lauren giggled, which caused Camila to smile even wider.

"What's for dinner?" Dinah strolled into the kitchen, pretending like she hadn't just watched the entire encounter between Lauren and Camila. The green eyed girl shrugged and started putting the groceries away.

"This is dinner," Camila announced, holding up a box of mac and cheese for Dinah to see.

"Good choice, Chancho," Dinah laughed, holding out her fist in front of Camila. The smaller girl stared at it questioningly. "You're supposed to bump it with your fist, like this," Dinah laughed, holding her fist out to Lauren, who returned the gesture.

"Oh," Camila nodded, bumping both of her fists together. Lauren and Dinah laughed, and Dinah shook her head.

"No, bump _my_ fist," she explained, holding her fist out in front of Camila. Camila nodded once and held out her fist to bump Dinah's. Once she did, Dinah pulled her fist back and made an exploding noise with her mouth. Camila giggled excitedly and then did the same.

"Make the girl her dinner, Laur," Dinah teased, tossing the box of macaroni and cheese to Lauren. The green eyed girl made a face at Dinah before grabbing a pot and filling it with water. She set the pot on the stove to boil.

Normani and Ally both got up to join them in the kitchen. Camila engaged them in an animated conversation about her banana. Lauren stood back and watched, realizing the effect Camila had on people. Camila's smile was contagious.

Lauren jumped when the pot started boiling over, and she quickly turned down the heat so she could add the noodles. Stirring the boiling mixture, she set the timer on the stove. When she turned back around, Camila was right behind her, trying to look over her shoulder.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm making dinner," Lauren pointed to the box of macaroni and cheese. Camila clapped her hands together excitedly.

"Yellow," she giggled and held out her fist. Lauren rolled her eyes and bumped Camila's fist, causing the smaller girl to make an exploding noise with her mouth and turn around to look at Dinah for approval.

"Look at what you've taught her," Lauren laughed, raising an eyebrow at Dinah. Camila shuffled over to Ally and Normani and held up both of her fists eagerly. The other two girls laughed and bumped them, and Camila continued making exploding noises.

Lauren was enjoying this. Normally, she and her roommates spent their time in their bedrooms, or out doing their own thing. It was nice to have some down time with her friends and be able to joke around. She'd missed that. They all got so caught up in their daily lives that sometimes they forgot to check in on each other. Maybe having Camila here was good for them.

Once dinner was ready, Lauren scooped even amounts into five bowls and set them on the counter. Camila clapped her hands and picked the yellow bowl, as Lauren had suspected she would. The smaller girl happily followed them into the living room, where Camila assumed her usual position in the middle of the floor.

Dinah, Normani, and Ally all purposely took up all the open seats before Lauren could. The green eyed girl glared at them, and they all smiled knowingly. Lauren knew exactly what they were up to.

Sighing, Lauren sat down on the floor a few feet away from Camila and poked at her food. Camila practically finished her entire bowl before Lauren could even take a bite of her own.

"Still hungry?" Lauren asked, pointing to Camila's bowl. Camila nodded quickly, and Lauren handed the small girl her bowl. She wasn't hungry in the first place.

"You're welcome," Camila smiled, taking the bowl from Lauren. "Thank you, you're welcome," she repeated, taking a bite of the new bowl and smiling innocently. Lauren ignored Dinah, who was whispering _'whipped'_ from behind her.

Throughout dinner, Camila would itch her head occasionally. Lauren felt her phone buzz in her pocket, reading the new text in the group chat.

**[** **6:58** **– Ally] She needs a shower.**

Lauren glanced up at Camila and bit her lip.

**[** **6:59** **– Dinah] I volunteer Lauren.**

**[** **6:59** **– Lauren] I am not giving her a shower!!**

Lauren turned around and glared at Dinah, who just stuck her tongue out at the older girl.

**[** **7:00** **– Ally] You don't have to. All you have to do is sit in there with her so she doesn't get scared by herself.**

**[** **7:00** **– Normani] Dinah and I can take her shopping tomorrow. We don't have class and you know she's going to need regular clothes eventually.**

**[** **7:01** **– Ally] That's a good idea.**

**[** **7:01** **– Lauren] Fine. I'll do it. But this means Dinah has to cook for the rest of the week. And do my dishes.**

**[** **7:02** **– Dinah] Rude.**

Lauren laughed softly, turning around and sticking her tongue back out at Dinah. Camila set her bowl down in front of her, catching Lauren's attention.

"All done?" Lauren asked, standing up and bringing the dirty dishes to the sink. Camila nodded, scrambling to her feet and following close behind Lauren. "You have to shower tonight, yeah?"

Camila tilted her head to the side for a moment before realizing what Lauren was talking about. "Yes," she nodded once with a soft smile. "You join me?"

Lauren nearly choked on thin air. She heard the other three girls laughing behind her, and ignored them. "No, silly. I'll sit in there while you shower, though," she explained. Camila just nodded and grabbed Lauren's hands.

"C'mon Lolo," she hummed, pulling the dark haired girl towards the stairs. Lauren had to jog to avoid being dragged by the excited girl.

"Have fun!" Normani called from behind them. Lauren flicked her off before they disappeared up the stairs. Her three roommates burst into laugher once Lauren was out of sight.

"You know how to shower, right?" Lauren asked once they were in the bathroom across the hall from her bedroom. Camila studied the room for a few moments before nodding.

"Yes. Tom taught me," Camila said casually, walking over and turning on the knob of the shower. Water squirted out of the nozzle and she held her hand underneath it. "Cold," she mumbled, turning the knob slightly and holding her hand in the water once more. "Warm," she nodded happily.

Lauren grew confused when Camila mentioned 'Tom', but she decided to ask later, considering that Camila was in a good mood and willing to take a shower.

"Alright, you get undressed and get behind the curtain, and I'll be right back, okay? I need to get you a towel and pajamas," Lauren motioned to the shower.

"Lolo's shirt?" Camila asked with a shy smile. Lauren sighed and nodded.

"If that's what you want, sure," she said. "I'll be back."

"Goodnight!" Camila waved as Lauren slipped out of the room. A minute or so later, Lauren returned with a towel and clean change of clothes for the girl. Camila was already in the shower, and Lauren sat down on the toilet.

" _Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you_ ," Camila hummed contently, washing the soap suds out of her hair just like she had been taught to. Lauren raised an eyebrow from the other side of the shower curtain.

"Is that the only song you know?" Lauren laughed.

"It is a good song," Camila replied. She moved under the stream of water and scrubbed her face with her hands, rinsing off all the extra soap that had run down the sides of her face. Ally had given Camila her own bottle of 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner to make it easier on the girl.

"But it's repetitive," Lauren ran a hand through her hair.

"Yes," Camila nodded once. She felt her head, making sure she'd gotten all the shampoo and conditioner out before turning off the water. "I'm done, Lolo."

"Alright," Lauren stood up and handed Camila the towel overtop of the shower curtain. "Your clothes are on the toilet, dry off and get changed and I'll be across the hall, okay?"

"Okay," Camila nodded once. Lauren slipped out of the room and into her bedroom. She felt her phone buzz in her pocket.

**[** **7:32** **– Dinah] Whipped.**

Lauren rolled her eyes and tossed her phone onto her bed. A few minutes later, she heard the bathroom door open and close, and footsteps shuffled across the hallway.

"Knock knock," Camila stood in the doorway with a sleepy smile on her face. She yawned, wiping her eyes and looking at Lauren contently.

"Who's there?" Lauren asked. Camila just shrugged and padded into the room. Lauren noticed her hair hadn't been brushed, and was tangled and swept to the side.

"Do you want me to braid your hair again?" the older girl asked, grabbing her brush from the nightstand. Camila nodded and hopped onto the bed, remembering how she had sat the last time Lauren had done her hair.

"Yes. You make me pretty," she smiled.

"You were already pretty," Lauren said softly, scooting behind the girl and beginning to brush out her wet hair.

"Like you?" Camila asked, turning around to look at Lauren. The older girl bit her lip.

"Keep your head still," she avoided the question and moved Camila's head back around so she could continue brushing her hair.

Camila didn't repeat her question, which Lauren was thankful for. The older girl eventually got all the tangles out of Camila's hair and began French braiding it down the back of her head.

"Music?" Camila asked, keeping her head forward but tilting it to the side slightly. Lauren reached for her phone but Camila grabbed her wrist to stop her before she could. "No, Lolo's music."

Lauren realized Camila wanted her to sing and bit her lip. But no matter how badly she wanted to say no, she just couldn't bring herself to say no to Camila.

"Fine, but I get to sing something better than happy birthday," she joked.

"You're welcome," Camila nodded once. Lauren laughed, wondering what Camila believed Lauren had thanked her for. She slowly realized that she did have a lot to thank the smaller girl for. In reality, she owed Camila an infinite number of thank you's.

"Let's see," Lauren thought for a few moments before she began to sing.

 

" _And how would you know?_

_When everything around you's bruised and battered_

_Like the cold night storm._

_And who would you turn to?_

_Or hide a ghost, a shadow at the most, would you tell me so?_

_Cause I, I adore you so_

_When it all comes clear, the wind is settled, I'll be here, you know._

 

_Cause you said ours were the lighthouse towers_

_The sand upon that place_

_Darling I'll grow weary, happy still_

_With just the memory of your face_

 

_Gracious goes the ghost of you_

_And I will never forget the plans and the_

_Silhouettes you drew here and_

_Gracious goes the ghost of you_

_My dear_ ,"

 

Lauren finished Camila's braid while she sang. Once she finished the song, Camila scooted around on the bed so she was facing Lauren. The small girl reached up and pressed her fingertips against Lauren's lips.

"Pretty," Camila said softly, swaying back and forth subtly. " _Lolo_ ," she cooed. She drew her hand back and kissed her fingertips before pressing them back to Lauren's cheek. The gesture made Lauren's stomach flip.

Camila smiled, yawning loudly and rubbing her eyes.

"Are you ready for bed?" Lauren asked, even thought it was way earlier than the time she would usually go to bed. Camila nodded, and without another world, she crawled to her usual spot in Lauren's bed and curled tugged on the covers.

"I guess Dinah's bed is a thing of the past, then," Lauren stated with an eyebrow raised.

"I like Lolo's bed," Camila nodded and grabbed Lauren's hand, urging her to lie down. Giving in, Lauren lay back. As soon as she did, Camila's legs were tangled up with hers and the smaller girl was nestled up right next to Lauren's torso.

"You're welcome, Lolo. Goodnight, Lolo," Camila sighed softly and nuzzled her head in the crook of Lauren's neck.

"Goodnight," Lauren whispered, reaching over to turn off the light next to her bed. Once the room was dark, she lay back down and pulled the covers over them. "Thank you, Camila."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STOP RIGHT THERE AND LISTEN TO GRACIOUS BY BEN HOWARD - it's the song lauren sings to camila and it's one of my all time favorite songs. okay carry on.
> 
> lol here's the second update. a little early cause one of you bbies requested an update before their final, so here it is! have a great rest of your day bbies.
> 
> \- lena


	10. ten

Leaving Camila didn't get any easier the second time around. If anything, it become more difficult now that Camila understood what was happening.

"I go with Lolo," Camila whined to Dinah as the Polynesian girl held her back from the door. Lauren stood in the doorway, biting her lip and hesitating to leave.

"You're coming shopping with us today, Camila," Normani piped up. "Lauren will be back soon." Dinah waved her hand at Lauren, motioning for her to leave. Lauren sighed and slipped out the door while Camila was distracted.

"Lol _oooo!_ ," Camila cried, trying to wiggle out of Dinah's grasp. Dinah held on tightly to the small girl. She glanced at Normani questioningly.

"It's like we're raising a child," Normani mumbled. Camila was still trying to run for the door, and Dinah was struggling to hold onto her.

"Lauren's gone, Camila," Dinah said firmly. She was growing increasingly frustrated with the fact that Camila was so persistent on being by Lauren's side 24/7. The small girl turned around and looked at Dinah angrily.

Dinah's hands were still tightly gripping Camila's wrists, so the smaller girl settled on kicking her legs forwards and hitting the leg of the small table by the door. The wood cracked easily under the force of her kick, causing the table to fall over and bring the glass vase on top of it crashing to the floor. Normani and Dinah both gasped as glass scattered everywhere. Camila immediately cried out and covered her ears with her hands, which Dinah had released out of shock.

"Why the hell would you do that?!" Dinah yelled, turning around and glaring at Camila. The smaller girl took a few steps back and brought her hands up in front of her face.

"Please," she shook her head violently. Dinah and Normani exchanged confused glances as Camila continued to take slow steps away from them.

"Bad," Camila mumbled, knocking on her head with her fist. "Bad, Stupid," she shook her head and hit her head even harder. Dinah raised an eyebrow at Normani, who was just as lost as she was.

"Stupid," Camila uttered under her breath. "Stupid, stupid, stupid," her voice grew louder and she began violently pummeling her head with both fists. Her back slid down against the wall and she continued punching herself with her balled up fists.

"Camila, don't do that," Dinah quickly ran over to the girl and slid down next to her. "Hey, hey, you're not stupid," she grabbed Camila's hands and held them away from her face.

Camila looked up at Dinah, her bottom lip trembling. The Polynesian girl felt extremely guilty for snapping at her. She glanced back at Normani, who was already using the broom to sweep up the pictures of broken glass.

"Stupid," Camila shook her head and tried to bring her hands back to her face. Dinah kept a firm grip on her wrists, and Camila whined in frustration. "Stupid, Bad, Bad Camila."

Dinah bit her lip and sat down next to the girl. "You're not bad _or_ stupid," Dinah said softly, unsure how she should go about comforting Camila.

"I killed it," Camila whimpered, pointing to the vase and table by the door. She began to cry softly, tears flowing down her cheeks and spotting her shirt.

"It's okay, Camila, it's just a vase. We can just buy a new one," Dinah shook her head. "It's okay, I promise. Do you want something to eat?" She tried to distract the smaller girl, hoping food would take her mind off of what she'd done.

Camila shook her head violently, sobbing even harder than before. She dropped her head onto her knees and covered her face with her hands as the sobs became uncontrollable.

"Camila, you don't have to cry," Normani piped up, joining Dinah on the floor next to the girl. "It's all cleaned up, see?" She pointed to the doorway. Camila didn't respond to their attempts at comforting her, she just continued crying into her hands.

Dinah and Normani exchanged glances. Neither one of them knew what they were supposed to do. Sighing softly, Dinah motioned towards the door.

"Go ahead, she doesn't need to be there when you buy her clothes," Dinah said. "Just get whatever you think she needs, I'll stay here with her."

Normani nodded silently. Dinah scooted closer to Camila and slowly reached out to place a hand on the small girl's back. Camila continued crying, and the two roommates felt completely powerless. Sighing, Normani grabbed her purse and gave Dinah one last sympathetic wave before slipping out the door.

For the next hour, no matter what Dinah said, Camila continued crying. Dinah sat quietly next to her, even considering texting Lauren for help a few times. But she refrained, knowing it was a bad idea.

"My Lolo," Camila whispered, looking up slowly and scanning the apartment. Dinah glanced over at the girl, whose cheeks were now tear stained. Camila looked pleadingly at her.

"Lauren's at school right now, Camila," Dinah sighed. There was no way she could fix that problem for the other girl. She saw the look of disappointment on Camila's face. Without another word, Camila crawled to her feet and shuffled up the stairs. Confused, Dinah followed close behind.

Camila tiptoed into Lauren's room and went straight for the bed. Dinah peeked her head in the door, finding the smaller girl nestled under the covers. Sighing heavily, Dinah closed the door to Lauren's bedroom to try and give Camila some peace and quiet.

Meanwhile, Lauren was aimlessly scrolling through her phone in the library of her college. She had a 20 minute break in between classes and never knew how to occupy her time. While scrolling through Facebook, she saw a familiar face on her 'Recommended Friends' list.

She quickly clicked on the user's profile, recognizing Sydney Marx as one of the cheerleaders that Camila was friends with in high school. Lauren had never thought of contacting them before.

For some odd reason, she felt guilty for looking through Camila's past life. But she decided that she needed some sort of explanation for how Camila had ended up on their doorway. Sydney's profile was public, so Lauren began scrolling through her photos.

Camila wasn't featured in anything recent, but Lauren finally recognized the younger girl's face in an album of photos from the first party of the summer, celebrating their high school graduation. Lauren and her roommates hadn't been present. They were already on the road to New York.

It was obvious that everyone at the party was either drunk or high. Or both. Lauren bit her lip as she scrolled through the pictures, going back even earlier. She found pictures of Camila with the cheer team, smiling brightly. Lauren got the chills from looking at these photos and thinking just how different Camila seemed, compared to how she'd been in high school.

She paused on a certain picture, though, raising her eyebrows. It was a picture of all the cheerleaders and their boyfriends, Camila included. Lauren had completely forgotten that Camila was dating someone at the time that they graduated. She furrowed her eyebrows together, thinking for a moment. What was his name? _Scott._

His name had been Scott, Lauren remembered. She crinkled her nose at the mention of his name, wondering when he and Camila had ended.

She reached the end of Sydney's photos, and slumped back in her chair. She was still dying for information. Checking the time, Lauren realized she had ten minutes left until she had to leave for her next class. Gathering her things, she made her way over to the computer in the corner of the library.

Taking a deep breath, convincing herself that this was the right thing to do, Lauren opened a new tab and started hesitantly at the screen. A few moments later, she typed 'Camila Cabello' into the search bar and hit enter before she could change her mind.

Seconds later, the results popped up and Lauren scanned them with baited breath. The first news article that appeared made her gasp. She quickly looked around to see if anyone had heard her, and luckily she hadn't caught anyone's attention.

_Car accident leaves_ _Miami_ _student in fatal condition, authorities are still on the search for the students involved_

Lauren had to remind herself to breathe and she quickly scrolled down. She nearly gasped again when she saw the picture of the completely totaled car. Upon further inspection, Lauren realized the car was upside down at the bottom of a ditch. Surprisingly enough, she knew exactly where the picture had been taken.

She hesitated before scrolling down to the actual article. Did she want to know? Of course she did. She was just scared. Shaking it off, Lauren scrolled down and leaned in closer to the screen.

_Last night, a_ _Miami_ _Trooper called in an overturned car at the bottom of a ditch bordering_ _Grove Street_ _. Police believed the car to be abandoned, but upon further inspection they found the body of 18-year-old Camila Cabello, a student from_ _Miami_ _._

_Cabello was revived at the scene and rushed to the hospital, where she remains in critical condition. The other occupants of the car are yet to come forward. Any information regarding the accident should be reported directly to the_ _Miami_ _Police._

Lauren brought her hand to her face, wiping the tears that had brimmed her eyes. Things were starting to slowly make sense, but she was still left with millions of unanswered questions. She scanned the related articles out of curiosity and quickly clicked the first one that caught her eye.

_UPDATE:_ _Miami_ _students involved in severe car crash provide critical information_

Taking a deep breath, she prepared herself for what was to come.

_The car accident that left 18-year-old Camila Cabello in critical condition last Tuesday is still undergoing investigation. The students involved in the collision have been brought forward and questioned._

_Police revealed that two cars had been involved in a reckless driving incident while coming home from a school party. Both students at the wheel were under the influence of alcohol at the time. The vehicles were racing around the corner when the car Cabello inhabited lost control and rolled into the a ditch on the side of the road. The other car involved in the accident has yet to be found._

_The driver of the car, Cabello's alleged boyfriend, survived unharmed. He claimed he hadn't realized Camila was in the car, due to his drunken state. Instead of calling for help, Cabello's boyfriend simply fled the scene. Cabello was found over an hour later by a_ _Miami_ _Trooper and revived on the way to the hospital. Cabello is said to have been completely sober upon arrival at the hospital._

_Cabello remains in critical condition. Sources revealed that she suffered from a broken leg, a severe cut that required over 100 stitches, and a fractured skull. The doctors also believe that the accident was so violent that it caused a traumatic brain injury. The Cabello family has yet to speak out regarding the accident._

Lauren's blood boiled when she realized who had been driving during the accident. Camila had been sober, too. Everyone at school knew that Camila didn't drink. She never had said why, though. Checking the time, Lauren groaned.

She slung her bag over her shoulder, and exited out of the tabs and trudged to her next class. Now, a million new questions began circulating in her head. She wanted to get home. She couldn't keep this to herself for much longer, and she knew she needed to show her roommates what she had found. More importantly, she needed to talk to Camila.

While Lauren suffered through her last class, Normani was out shopping for Camila as Dinah stayed home with the distraught girl. Pulling into the parking lot of the shopping mall, Normani jogged inside just as it started to rain.

She wasn't exactly sure what to get Camila. All the girl had worn since she'd been there were Lauren's t-shirts. Normani strolled into Urban Outfitters and purchased a few baggy t-shirts, hoping they'd do the trick.

As she continued shopping, she ended up in Forever 21. There was a rack of adorable summery dresses against the wall, and Normani immediately thought of Camila. Giving into temptation, she bought a couple dresses and a pair of comfortable converse.

She made her rounds through the store, and ended up buying a few pairs of leggings and pajama pants along the way. Once she was finished, she had a handful of bags and a long list of receipts. Normani headed back to her car, hoping that she'd done a good enough job.

Once she made it back to the apartment, she found Dinah in the kitchen, poking at a leftover piece of pizza. She looked just as exhausted as Normani felt.

"Hey," Normani sighed, placing the shopping backs on the island. "Where's Camila?"

"Where do you think?" Dinah raised an eyebrow. Normani laughed softly, not responding since she knew exactly where the smaller girl was.

"She cried for over an hour, Mani," Dinah sighed and leaned against the counter. "I couldn't get her to calm down."

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Normani asked, biting her lip and hopping up on the counter so she could face Dinah. "Letting her get this close to Lauren and all... I mean, you know how Lauren is."

Dinah nodded, knowing what her roommate meant. "We can talk to Lo once she gets home."

"Lo?" Normani smirked.

Dinah raised an eyebrow. "What? It fits," she laughed, knowing she'd accidentally used Camila's nickname for Lauren. There was a long pause of silence, and then the sound of keys jostling in the front door.

"Speak of the devil," Normani mumbled, causing Dinah to laugh. Lauren appeared moments later, tossing her backpack onto the couch.

"Where's Camila?" she asked, jogging into the kitchen and looking around anxiously.

"Upstairs," Dinah nodded once and grabbed Lauren's arm before she could run off. "We need to talk to you about something, Laur."

"Me too, actually," Lauren breathed out a nervous laugh and motioned for the girls to follow her into the living room.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the chapter you've all been waiting for. i answered this on my ask.fm but i'll repeat it here too.
> 
> there's 3 (possibly 4?) big reveals about camila throughout the fic. the first one was in this chapter. it's not going to explain EVERYTHING, but things are starting to piece themselves together, if that makes sense.
> 
> have a great day bbyloves. and if you have any tests/exams today, kick some butt. ily all.
> 
> \- lena


	11. eleven

Once all the girls sat down, Lauren took it upon herself to talk first, knowing they needed to hear what she had found out as soon as possible.

"I did some... research, today," Lauren said cautiously. The other two roommates looked at her in confusion and Lauren sighed. She dug around in her backpack until she found the articles she'd printed out before she left.

"We wanted an explanation..." she said softly, passing the papers over to the girls. Both of them gasped as soon as they saw the picture of the overturned car.

"Camila was in there?" Normani asked in shock. Lauren nodded and scooted closer to them on the couch.

"Yep," she pointed to the passenger side of the car. "Right there. See that section? That's the part they had to saw off to get her out." She saw the other girls shudder at the thought, just as she had done.

"I knew that Scott guy was an idiot," Dinah mumbled under her breath. Her grip on the papers had become so tight that Lauren had to reach over and pry her fingers away. "How could he just leave her there?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," Lauren sighed. Normani turned the paper over and continued reading, her jaw dropping open.

"Traumatic brain injury?" The dark skinned girl tilted her head to the side.

"What's that even mean?" Dinah added, raising her eyebrows in shock.

Lauren had already done her research, and she handed them another paper she'd printed out that afternoon. Both girls read over the paper and Dinah shook her head.

"This isn't English, Laur, how am I supposed to know what a 'Diffuse Axonal' is?" Dinah scoffed. Normani shook her head, shooting Lauren an apologetic look.

"That's the specific type, I think," Lauren pointed to the bolded words on the page. "I don't really know much either... it's confusing." Both girls nodded in agreement.

Sighing, Lauren slumped back in her chair. "What did you guys have to tell me?" she asked, remembering what her roommates had mentioned earlier.

Dinah and Normani exchanged glances. They both had just seen how much work Lauren had put into trying to figure out what was going on with Camila. It seemed rude of them to say anything now. Silently, they agreed to keep their mouths shut for the time being.

"Nothing," Dinah shook her head. "Camila's in your room, by the way. She was... she cried for a long time after you left," the Polynesian answered honestly. Lauren bit her lip and stood up.

"Take those bags with you," Normani added, pointing to the shopping bags in the kitchen. "Those are all Camila's."

Nodding, Lauren grabbed the shopping bags and glanced in them. "Can you guys fill Ally in when she gets back?" Lauren asked, standing at the bottom of the stairs. She didn't want to have to explain everything for the third time that day. Both girls nodded and Lauren sent them a thankful smile.

Ascending the stairs, Lauren began to wonder just how Camila had gotten there. How had she managed to get on a plane and wander here on her own? What was the glass in her shoes from? And the bruises?

Sighing, Lauren opened her bedroom door slowly. Camila was asleep on her bed, and the older girl decided against waking her. She set the bags on the floor by her closet and crossed her arms, wondering where she should put the clothes.

She realized just how much effort she was putting into accommodating Camila when she began moving the clothes in her closet around to make room for Camila's things. This was a new feeling for her, and she wasn't sure how she felt about it.

Lauren laughed softly when she saw the dresses Normani had purchased. She couldn't help but envision how adorable they would look on the younger girl. Just as she hung up the last piece of clothing, a dark blur collided with her and sent her stumbling backwards. She grabbed onto the wall to keep her balance.

"Lol _ooo,_ " Camila cooed, burying her head in Lauren's chest and keeping her arms wrapped tightly around her.

"Well hello to you too," Lauren laughed, taking aback by the girl's abrupt greeting. Seeing that Camila had no intention of letting go, Lauren peeled the smaller girl off of her and took a few steps back. She immediately noted Camila's red eyes and puffy cheeks. Guilt slowly sunk in when she realized this was because of her.

"I'm sorry Lolo," Camila whispered, looking up at Lauren with a look of uncertainty on her face. Lauren tilted her head to the side in confusion.

"I killed it," the smaller girl murmured, shaking her head and walking over to the bed. Lauren followed her cautiously. "Stupid," Camila huffed. She burrowed back under the covers, trying to hide from the older girl.

Lauren felt her phone buzz in her pocket just as she sat down on the end of the bed.

**[** **4:39** **\- Dinah] Oh, and also, Camila broke the table and vase by the door after you left. I guess that's what caused her to break down.**

Sighing, Lauren set her phone down and scooted closer to the figure nestled under the covers.

"Camila, I'm not mad at you," Lauren said softly. She realized now that a day or two ago, she would've been furious. But the table and vase were replaceable, Camila wasn't. She had been able to learn that in their short time together.

The smaller girl slowly peered out from under the blankets. She studied Lauren intently for a few moments before sitting up.

"Promise?" Camila tilted her head to the side, holding out her pinky finger. Lauren laughed softly and nodded, locking their fingers together.

"Promise," the green eyed girl nodded once. Camila looked down at her hands in her lap, still somewhat upset. Lauren noticed this and grew concerned.

"Camila? Do you want to talk about it?" Lauren reached out and placed one of her hands on the smaller girl's knee. At this point, Lauren was 100 percent aware that she was in too deep, but for some reason her compassion outweighed her fear.

"Talk?" Camila asked. She looked down at Lauren's hand in her lap, studying it carefully for a few moments. Lauren watched as Camila gently placed her own hand atop Lauren's, playing with her fingers aimlessly. The small gesture was still somehow able to make her stomach flutter.

"Yeah, talk," Lauren nodded slowly, trying to think of how she could explain the idea to Camila. "Friends talk to friends about their problems, remember?"

"Oh, yes," Camila nodded once. Lauren gave her a reassuring smile before scooting back on the bed and leaning against the headboard.

"Then what was bothering you this morning that made you so sad?" Lauren asked softly. She patted the spot next to her and Camila crawled over eagerly. "Were you mad that I left?"

"I am scared you won't come back," Camila bit her lip and looked over at Lauren. "And I like you here."

Lauren couldn't help but feel guilty, but she knew there was no way around this. She had to go to class. And bringing Camila with her didn't seem like the best idea. She sighed and looked up at the ceiling.

"You know I'll come back, Camz, I'll always come back."

Camila smiled at the nickname, scooting closer to Lauren and finding her hand again. "I didn't mean to kill it..." she mumbled under her breath. Lauren barley caught what she had said.

"You didn't kill it, Camila," she shook her head and squeezed the girl's hand. "Next time, you just need to find a way to control your emotions, right? Like punching a pillow or something." Lauren grabbed the pillow next to her and punched it to demonstrate, which caused Camila to giggle.

"There's other ways to control your anger, too," Lauren nodded softly. "Whenever I get mad, I draw in my sketchbook. We just need to find you something that helps calm you down."

"Eating?" Camila tilted her head to the side. Lauren giggled and shook her head.

"Something besides eating," she pursed her lips and thought for a moment. "What do you like to do?"

Camila shrugged. "I am not good at things," she sighed. Lauren quickly shook her head, not wanting Camila to believe that.

"Of course you are," Lauren gave her a soft smile. "We just haven't found your true passion yet, but we will."

"You think so?" Camila bit her lip.

"I know so," Lauren smirked. She sighed softly when she remembered why she had come upstairs originally. Taking a deep breath, Lauren sat up slightly and squeezed Camila's hand. "Can I ask you a question?"

Camila nodded softly, not knowing what Lauren was referring to.

"Okay, so... I found out something today," she paused. "About you..." Camila still appeared confused and Lauren took that as a good enough reason to continue. "Do you know you were in a car accident?"

Camila's eyes widened and she scanned Lauren's face, trying to figure out her true intentions. After a few moments of tense silence, she nodded slowly. "I got hurt," she mumbled.

Lauren saw the fear in the girl's eyes and kicked herself for bringing it up. But there was no going back now. "What happened, Camila?"

"Ouch," Camila nodded as if it were a completely reasonable answer. She scooted back and pulled up the leg of her pajama pants, shifting her position to reveal a long, raised scar that ran from the middle of her thigh to the back of her knee. "See? Ouch."

"Damn," Lauren whispered. Camila pulled the pants back over the cut and nodded softly.

"I... uh, do you remember Scott?" Lauren bit her lip. Camila's face tensed, and the small girl furrowed her eyebrows together.

"Scott left," Camila muttered. "He left. Stupid," she shook her head and glanced up at Lauren. "Mad."

"You're mad?" Lauren asked. Camila nodded slowly. "Why are you mad?"

"Scott," Camila balled her fists and stared intently into space for a few moments. Lauren waited patiently, trying to make this as comfortable for the other girl as possible. "Scott... left. Friends left." She brought her hands to her face and groaned.

"Hey, hey it's okay," Lauren quickly moved Camila's hands away from her face. "We don't have to talk about it anymore, okay? It's alright." Camila looked up at her shyly. Their eyes stayed interlocked for a few moments before Camila broke their eye contact, only to scoot closer to Lauren and burrow her head into her neck.

Lauren, surprised by the gesture, quickly pulled Camila closer to her and held her tightly. By the dampness on her shoulder, she could tell the smaller girl was silently crying. So she continued to hold her, rubbing circles in the small of her back.

Lauren would've done anything to see inside Camila's mind right then. She wanted to know what Camila remembered, or what she thought of the accident. She wanted to know what had happened with Scott. Or how Camila had ended up in New York. There were so many unanswered questions that wouldn't be fair to dump onto the smaller girl.

They lay there like that for a while, Lauren holding the small girl. Absentmindedly, Lauren began singing softly to fill the silence.

_Lie here till your world stops spinning round,_

_Lie near me till the birds start singing out._

_Come, show what it is to be warm._

_Be my shelter and I'll be your storm._

_And we'll show the fire,_

_Yeah, we'll show the fire how to burn._

_Yeah, we'll show the fire,_

_We'll show the fire how to burn._

_I don't know, I don't know where you came from,_

_But God's been smiling._

_I don't know, I don't know where the rain's gone_

_But it's been a while, been a while now._

"Pretty."

Lauren jumped when she finished the song, realizing Camila had been watching her for some time. The smaller girl gazed intently up at her, a shy smile on her face.

"I, uh, thanks," Lauren stumbled over her words. She felt her cheeks flush red and quickly looked away. Camila furrowed her eyebrows and sat up slightly, leaning over so she could see Lauren's face.

"Do you know?" Camila tiled her head to the side, showing concern. "Lolo, do you?" She reached out and turned Lauren's face so she was looking back at her. Lauren swallowed hard when Camila locked her caramel eyes with her own.

"Do I know what?" Lauren asked, biting her lip and forcing herself to take her eyes off of Camila. She sat up slowly, trying to distance herself from the girl. Obviously Camila didn't get the message, because she only scooted closer.

"You are pretty, Lolo," Camila nodded once. When Lauren didn't respond, Camila reached up and placed her fingertips on Lauren's lips. "I want you to know."

Lauren's breath caught in her throat and she had to remind herself to breathe. "I-I, uh..."

"Do you know?" Camila tilted her head to the side, genuinely concerned that Lauren wasn't aware of just how pretty she was. The younger girl reached up and cupped Lauren's face with both hands, studying her up close.

"You have ocean eyes," Camila whispered, as if it was a secret that only they could know. Lauren couldn't remember the last time she had been this nervous around anyone. Camila had this effect on her, and it scared her knowing what it could do.

"Your heart is pretty, too," the younger girl nodded, placing her hand directly under Lauren's collarbone. "I have seen it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: double update because so many of you bbies requested it omg. thanks for being so kind and positive, i love you endlessly.
> 
> \- lena


	12. twelve

Before Lauren could respond, the bedroom door burst open, causing the older girl to immediately scramble away from Camila. Unfortunately, this caused her to fall backwards onto the floor, groaning in annoyance.

"Dinner's ready," Dinah smirked from the door. Lauren glared at her, only to earn a wink from the Polynesian girl. At the mention of dinner, Camila clapped her hands excitedly. Without another word, the small girl hopped out of bed and shuffled down the hallway.

Dinah walked over, extending a hand to Lauren to help the older girl off the floor. Shooting her roommate an annoyed glare, Lauren accepted the help and brushed off her pants once she got to her feet. Camila was already long gone. Dinah held out her hand for Lauren to wait before they went downstairs.

"What did I interrupt?" Dinah raised an eyebrow.

"Nothing," Lauren snapped, shaking her head. "What are you even talking about?"

Dinah sighed, crossing her arms and giving Lauren a knowing look.

"What?" Lauren huffed.

"Obviously something's going on between you two," Dinah nodded in the direction Camila had gone. "It's pretty obvious."

Lauren's face faltered for a moment but she quickly composed herself. "There's _nothing_ going on," she said firmly, nodding once before walking past Dinah and out of the room.

"If you say so," Dinah sighed. She followed Lauren down the stairs, but grabbed her hand before they reached a kitchen. "But if there was something going on, I'd make sure to tell you to be careful," she whispered.

Lauren's stomach dropped, and she turned to face Dinah. "Well good thing there isn't anything going on, then," she said simply before disappearing in the direction of the kitchen. Dinah sighed at her friend's stubbornness.

"Lolo, look!" Camila hopped in front of Lauren and held up a yellow bowl of mac and cheese. Lauren raised an eyebrow at Dinah, who only shrugged.

"It was all we had," Normani passed Lauren her own bowl over the counter. The older girl sighed, grabbing a fork and following her roommates into the living room. Before Camila had shown up, the four roommates usually ate dinner at separate times in separate places. Now, they all ate together. Lauren hadn't realized how much she'd missed spending time with them.

As usual, Dinah, Normani, and Ally all took up the couches, purposely leaving no room for Lauren. Not that she minded, though. The green eyed girl sat down on the floor a few feet away from Camila, who smiled widely at her with a mouthful of food.

"Someone's in a better mood," Normani commented, nodding towards Camila. Dinah and Ally both nodded in agreement.

"It's cause Lauren's home," Dinah smirked. Lauren glared at her, but it obviously didn't affect the younger girl. "It's pretty obvious how much Camila loves Lauren."

"Yes," Camila nodded once, as if she were confirming what Dinah had said. "I love Lolo. I want to kiss Lolo," she said casually, taking another bite of her food. Lauren, however, nearly choked on her own food. She looked to her roommates, who looked just as shocked.

"What did you say, Camila?" Dinah glanced at the other girl. Camila looked up and tilted her head to the side.

"What?"

Sighing, Dinah send Lauren a look of confusion, which the older girl quickly returned. Lauren's heart was pounding against her chest, and she swore everyone in the room was able to hear it. Had Camila really just said that? She couldn't have. Lauren looked over at the younger girl, who was happily eating her dinner.

Quietly, Lauren took her bowl to the sink. Without another word, she slipped upstairs and closed herself into her bedroom. As soon as she was alone, she ran her hands through her hair and began pacing back and forth.

What was she doing? Did she really have... feelings? For Camila? She couldn't.

She could.

Lauren groaned and fell back onto her bed. This was bad. This was more than bad. She was doomed. Why did she allow herself to get this close to the younger girl? Since when did she become so soft?

Since Camila.

The green eyed girl rolled over and buried her head in a pillow, groaning in frustration. Lauren hated feelings more than anything. But now here she was, being pulled towards Camila.

 _Camila!_ Of all people. Lauren was falling for the girl who she had labeled as her sworn enemy for all these years. But no matter how hard she tried, there was no way she could find a trace of the girl she had once hated in Camila.

This needed to stop. She needed to block herself off. This couldn't go any further than it already had. Suddenly, the image of kissing Camila's soft pink lips flashed into her memory and Lauren felt her heart flutter.

She had to stop this. She couldn't fall for Camila. For all she knew, Camila didn't even have any idea what _love_ was. Lauren forced herself to pull out her phone, her fingers quickly tapping across the keyboard.

**[** **7:32** **– Lauren] Can one of you make Camila sleep in your room tonight? I don't want her in mine.**

Lauren bit her lip. She knew it was harsh, but she couldn't risk getting hurt. She couldn't allow her feelings for the girl to develop even more.

**[** **7:34** **– Dinah] I'll take care of it. You okay?**

The older girl quickly got up, locking her door just in case Camila got any ideas. She sat down on the floor in the middle of her room and pulled her sketchbook out of her bag, staring at it blankly.

**[** **7:39** **– Lauren] I will be.**

She locked her phone and spun her pencil around in her hand a few times. Nothing interesting came to her mind as she tried to think of something to draw. She needed to distract herself from Camila.

Lauren lay down, propping her head up with her hand as she began aimlessly doodling on the paper. A few minutes later, an eye appeared, and Lauren studied it for a moment before groaning and slamming her pencil down. Camila's eye.

Camila's eyes. Camila's face. Camila.

That was all Lauren could think about. She quickly ripped the piece of paper from the sketchbook and sent it flying across the room. Forcing her eyes back down on a new piece of paper, Lauren bit her lip as she began sketching once more.

Lips. Camila's lips.

_Camila._

Camila. Camila. Camila.

Lauren huffed, giving up and shoving her sketchbook across the floor. She rolled onto her back and stared up at her cracked ceiling. This wasn't good. These were new feelings for her, and no matter how euphoric they felt, she wouldn't allow herself to take them any further. She would not get hurt. She wouldn't.

After staring at the ceiling for god knows how long, Lauren dragged herself off of the floor and into her bed. She put in her headphones, blasting her music so she wouldn't have to hear Camila's disappointment when Dinah wouldn't let her into Lauren's room.

Eventually she fell asleep. Of course Camila was in her dreams. _Of course._ Lauren couldn't even control her feelings in her dreams. She was awoken by a buzzing. At first, she thought she was delusional and ignored it. But a few minutes later it happened again, and she lifted her head slowly. Two new messages flashed across the screen of her phone.

**[** **1:02** **– Dinah] We have a problem.**

**[** **1:04** **– Dinah] Laur, please.**

Confused, the older girl sat up, tearing out her headphones. The sound of her music was instantly replaced with the sound of sobbing from the other side of the wall. Camila.

All of her defenses were thrown aside and she quickly got to her feet, slipping out of her room and slowly pushing opening the door to Dinah's room. Camila sat curled up in the corner with her head in her legs. Dinah stood a few feet behind her, unsure of what to do. When the Polynesian girl saw Lauren enter the room, she breathed a sigh of relief.

"I _finally_ got her to sleep, and not even ten minutes later she wakes up screaming," Dinah shook her head and sat down on the end of her bed. "You were my last resort."

Lauren nodded. She hesitated by the door for a moment, but eventually the sight of a distraught Camila became too much for her. Slowly, she padded over to the smaller girl and knelt down next to her.

"The bad things aren't real, remember," Lauren whispered. Camila's head lifted slowly and Lauren's heart shattered when she saw just how miserable the girl appeared to be. As soon as Camila saw Lauren behind her, she shot up and clung to the older girl for dear life. Lauren quickly slid back against the wall and pulled Camila into her lap, rocking the small girl back and forth. She completely forgot about Dinah's presence in the room. Making sure Camila felt safe was her only priority.

Camila's arms hung around Lauren's shoulders and her face was buried in the crook of the neck. She continued sobbing into Lauren's shirt, and the older girl wondered just how long she'd been crying for.

"Shhh," Lauren whispered, rubbing circles in Camila's back. "You're okay, I've got you." She rested her chin on the top of the smaller girl's head, staring at the wall and continuing to rock back and forth.

 

_Laying near you, swear you can feel 'em._

_Reach your hand and try to touch this skin,_

_But it's just you breathing_

 

_Torn fabric, wrapped around you,_

_Hands shaking, as you're reaching out,_

_To cover that mirror now_

 

_No one can take this from you,_

_No we can't carry this for you._

 

_But you can stand if you want to,_

_Or fall if you want to._

_I do feel same as you,_

 

_You can dance if you want to,_

_Or break if you want to._

_I do feel same as you,_

_The same as you._

 

Lauren's voice slowly faded out at the end of the song, and she looked down at the girl in her arms only to realize that she had fallen asleep. The older girl sighed in relief. Suddenly, she became aware of a pair of eyes on her and cursed herself for not remembering they were in Dinah's room.

"Nothing going on _my ass_ , Jauregui," Dinah smirked. Lauren just shook her head, freeing one of her hands and standing up carefully with Camila still in her arms. As she stood up, something caught her eye in the dim light of the room.

"What happened?" Lauren asked, nodding to the scratches on Camila's exposed legs, with blood spotted here and there. She immediately grew concerned.

"She kept scratching at them," Dinah shrugged and bit her lip. "I finally got her to stop." Lauren quickly realized what Camila had been scratching at. The scar from the car accident was in the same exact spot. She shuddered at the thought.

"Next time, come get me right away," Lauren nodded towards Dinah, not waiting for a response before slipping out of the room and carefully carrying Camila back into her bedroom. God, this girl was like her weakness.

Lauren laid the small girl on the bed before crawling over her and lying on the opposite side. She checked the time, thankful that she didn't have classes tomorrow. The moment her head hit the pillow, she felt a small figure curl up next to her. Lauren couldn't help but smile.

"Thank you, Lolo," Camila mumbled into Lauren's shoulder. Lauren was thankful the lights were off, otherwise Camila would be able to see how bright red her cheeks had turned.

"G'night, Camz," Lauren whispered before closing her eyes and falling asleep to the steady breathing of the small girl next to her. 


	13. thirteen

Lauren couldn't help but be relived that she didn't have any classes when she woke up. All her other roommates did, though, so it was only her and Camila in the apartment. She realized that the younger girl loved sunsets when she was awoken by a soft voice.

"Lolo," Camila whispered, tapping Lauren's arm softly. "Lolo, look."

Lauren groaned, wiping her eyes and checking the time. Earlier than she was used to. She yawned, sitting up and looking over at Camila. The small girl was sitting on the edge of Lauren's bed and gazing through the window only a few feet away. She turned around with a wide smile on her face when she heard Lauren sit up.

"Look, Lolo, look at the sky," she chimed, pointing to the window. Lauren couldn't help but smile at Camila's excitement this early in the morning. She crawled next to the girl and widened her eyes when she saw just what Camila was looking at.

"It's pretty," Lauren whispered. The sunrise was amazing that morning. It was bright orange, illuminating the sky and even leaving orange tinted streaks of light across the floor of Lauren's bedroom. There were flecks of pink sprinkled throughout, too. If the sky was this gorgeous every morning, Lauren wouldn't mind waking up so early.

Camila nodded softly. "Colorful," she added, turning to Lauren with a genuine smile. Lauren laughed quietly and ran a hand through her messy morning hair. Camila's comment suddenly gave her an idea and she stood up.

"I'm gonna go get something, okay? I'll be right back."

Camila turned to look at her, concerned. She held up her pinky finger and bit her lip. "Promise?" she asked, tilting her head to the side.

"Of course," Lauren smiled and locked their fingers together. She pointed out the window. "See that black car, right there?" she asked. Camila nodded. "I've gotta get something from inside it, but then I'm coming right back up here."

"Okay," Camila smiled softly. She stood up and pressed her palms against the window. "I will wave to you."

Giggling, Lauren nodded. "I'll wave back," she laughed. Camila watched her as Lauren slipped out of the room, and the green eyed girl was soon on her way down the stairs of their apartment building.

Normally, she wouldn't leave the apartment in her pajamas. But Camila made her do crazy things, and for some reason she didn't mind it. Once she was in the parking lot, she looked up, trying to see if she could find where their apartment window was. She noticed a flash of white and giggled, waving back to Camila from the ground.

She probably looked like an idiot in the moment, but Lauren could care less. She finally got to her car and popped her trunk, gathering the easel and paints she'd borrowed from her professor. Locking her car, she jogged back into the building.

Before she could even get her key in the door, it was flung open. Lauren giggled when she saw Camila smiling widely on the other side.

"I saw you! You waved!" Camila chimed. Lauren nodded and slipped inside the apartment. She made her way over to the wall of windows in the back of the room and began setting up her supplies. Camila followed close behind.

"What is this?" Camila asked. She bent down and picked up a paintbrush, waving it back and forth in front of Lauren's face. The green eyed girl quickly took it from her and laughed.

"My paintbrush," she set the brush on the sill of her easel. She began opening the tubes of paint and mixing small drops together to create the colors she needed. Camila watched in awe.

"You are painting?" she asked, tilting her head to the side. Lauren nodded.

"I'm painting the sky," she pointed to the window and then down to the colors in her palette. "That way I don't forget it."

Camila clapped her hands excitedly. She stood over Lauren's shoulder, watching as the older girl quickly started blending the mix of oranges, pinks, and yellows together on the canvas in front of her.

"Pretty," Camila murmured, mesmerized by what Lauren could do with a brush. The green eyed girl laughed softly and dipped her brush in the darker shade of orange. Swiping it across the material quickly, she added the streaks at the bottom of the canvas.

When she looked back up at the window, there was a figure in the way. This reminded her all too much of the time in the park when Camila had picked the daisies she'd been sketching. Lauren bit her lip.

Without another thought, she bent down and grabbed a few new tubes of paint. Soon, Camila's small silhouette was appearing in the middle of the canvas, with her palms outstretched. In real life, Camila had her hands pressed against the glass. But in the painting, she was reaching out and touching the sunset.

"Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you," Camila hummed softly. Lauren looked up from her painting and smirked.

"Don't you know any other songs?"

Camila turned around to look at Lauren and tilted her head to the side. Lauren laughed softly and motioned for Camila to come towards her. The small girl smiled widely and watched as Lauren scrolled through her phone. She walked over to the speaker and plugged her phone in, pressing the play button. Camila's eyes widened as music started to play throughout the apartment.

_Screen falling off the door, door hanging off the hinges_

_My feet are still sore, my back's on the fringes_

_We tore up the walls, we slept on couches_

_We lifted this house, we lifted this house_

Lauren sang along to the song, causing Camila to giggle. The green eyed girl grabbed her paintbrush and began using it as a microphone.

_Fire-crackers in the east, my car parked south_

_Your hands on my cheeks, your shoulder in my mouth_

_I was up against the wall, on the west mezzanine_

_We rattle this town, we rattle this scene_

Camila giggled wildly when Lauren accidentally smeared orange paint on her nose. The older girl crossed her eyes to try and see the paint, causing both of them to laugh even more. Lauren shrugged it off and continued to sing.

_O, Anna Sun!_

_O, Anna Sun!_

Camila still stood by the easel, and Lauren held out her hand and motioned for come towards her. The younger girl tilted her head to the side as she padded over. Lauren grabbed her hand and pulled her closer, setting her paintbrush down and twirling Camila around.

_What do you know? This house is falling apart,_

_What can I say? This house is falling apart._

_We got no money, but we got heart,_

_We're gonna rattle this ghost town,_

_This house is falling apart._

Both girls laughed as the song continued playing. Camila grabbed the paintbrush and placed a dot on Lauren's forehead. The green eyed girl, in return, swiped a dot of yellow paint on Camila's nose. The smaller girl gasped, causing both of them to erupt into giggles moments later.

_Screen falling off the door, door hanging off the hinges._

_My feet are still sore, my back's on the fringes._

_We were up against the wall on the west mezzanine,_

_We rattle this town, we rattle this scene._

_O, Anna Sun!_

_O, Anna Sun!_

_What do you know? This house is falling apart_

_What can I say? This house is falling apart_

_We got no money, but we got heart,_

_We're gonna rattle this ghost town._

_This house is falling apart._

The song ended and both girls collapsed back onto the couch, out of breath from dancing around for so long. Camila looked over at Lauren and giggled, scrunching up her nose when she smiled. Lauren couldn't remember the last time she'd had this much fun. Pure, innocent fun. She'd missed that. Camila brought out a side of her that she never knew she had.

"See, now wasn't that better than happy birthday?" Lauren raised an eyebrow at the younger girl. Camila laughed even harder, grabbing a pillow and burying her face in it. "I'll take that as a yes," Lauren joked.

"You are fun," Camila giggled, looking up at the older girl. Lauren's heart fluttered and she had to turn away to hide how red her cheeks had grown. Camila had this effect on her that she couldn't explain.

"Same goes to you," Lauren smile, pushing herself up off the couch. "Are you hungry?" Camila nodded furiously at Lauren.

"I'll make us waffles, then," Lauren nodded and headed into the kitchen. She gathered the ingredients she would need and placed them all on the counter. Camila didn't follow her, but Lauren assumed she was still watching the sunset. She mixed the batter and poured the first small amount into the waffle iron, flipping it and setting the timer.

"They're cooking right n-," Lauren froze when she walked back into the living room and saw Camila standing in front of the easel with a paintbrush in her hand. "What are you doing?" she asked frantically, running over to the small girl.

Camila turned around and pointed to the canvas. "More pink," she motioned back and forth from the sky to the painting. Lauren narrowed her eyes, looking where Camila had added a few extra streaks of pink. It actually didn't look too bad. She'd been expecting a tornado of colors.

"Not too bad," Lauren smiled softly, taking the paintbrush from Camila and setting it down. "But next time, ask me before you add something, okay?" Camila nodded softly.

"Waffles?" the small girl asked, wandering off into the kitchen. Lauren laughed at how easily she flowed from subject to subject, and quickly followed her.

"This one's almost done," she checked the timer on the waffle iron, flipping it over and grabbing a plate. She used a fork to peel the waffle out and plopped it down onto the plate. Sliding the plate across the counter to Camila, she grabbed the syrup and passed it over as well.

Camila clapped her hands excitedly and popped open the syrup bottle. Lauren went to work on pouring more mix into the machine and setting the timer. When she looked back up, Camila had completely drenched her plate in syrup, and was now eating the waffle with her hands, peeling small pieces off and popping them into her mouth.

"So I'm guessing you haven't had waffles in a while, huh?" Lauren sighed, shaking her head at the girl, who now had syrup all over her hands and dribbling down her chin. Camila only giggled and smiled widely, with a mouthful of food.

The timer went off, signifying that Lauren's waffle was done. She tossed it onto a plate and poured a small puddle of syrup on the side of her plate.

"Who needs forks, right?" Lauren shrugged, peeling off a piece of her waffle and dipping it in the syrup. Camila watched her and giggled. She attempted to do the same, but her waffle was already soaked in syrup, which caused Lauren to laugh with a mouthful of food.

They finished their breakfast and Lauren put their plates in the dishwasher. She checked the time and laughed when she realized that if Camila hadn't woken her up, she probably would've still been asleep.

"Here," she giggled, walking over to Camila and helping her clean off her hands with a damp towel. She swiped the syrup off the smaller girl's chin, which made both of them laugh.

"Pretty," Camila murmured, bringing her hand up and running her fingers down Lauren's jawline. The older girl shivered at the contact and took a deep breath. Camila smiled widely and skipped into the living room. Lauren gave herself a minute to compose herself before following Camila. She plopped down on the couch and pulled her phone out of her pocket.

**[** **9:38** **\- Dinah] How's everything there? ;)**

**[** **9:43** **\- Lauren] I don't know what that winky face is for.**

**[** **9:44** **\- Dinah] Hush. You've got it bad, Jauregui.**

**[** **9:45** **\- Lauren] Too bad, I've got to go. Camila just trashed your bedroom ;)**

**[** **9:45** **\- Dinah] What?!**

Lauren smirked and slid her phone back into her pocket, ignoring the multiple buzzes that followed. Camila scooted over near Lauren and studied the older girl.

"Lolo?"

Lauren tilted her head to the side. "Yeah?"

Camila pursed her lips in thought. The smaller girl also took the opportunity to not-so-sneakily scoot even closer to Lauren. "I don't want to get hurt," Camila mumbled. Lauren could tell she was trying her best to stay calm.

"Hurt?" Lauren questioned. She grew concerned. "Who would ever hurt you?"

The smaller girl's whole body stilled, as if she was frozen. Lauren could tell she'd stuck a nerve, and she knew she had to run with what she said if she wanted to get an answer out of Camila.

"Camila, what are you talking about?"

Playing with her hands nervously, Camila shook her head. "No. Bad."

"What's bad?" Lauren bit her lip.

"Me," Camila pointed to herself, knocking on her chest with her fist. "Stupid."

"Hey, don't call yourself that," Lauren said softly. Her instinct took over and she pulled Camila closer to her, letting her lean against her. "You can talk to me, Camila."

Camila swallowed hard and pulled down the collar of her shirt slightly. Her fingers traced one of the many bruises that lined her torso and she shivered. "I don't want to get hurt again," she mumbled.

"Again?" Lauren held her breath when a sudden possibility crossed her mind. "Camila, did someone hurt you?" She watched as Camila's hands froze and the small girl's eyes darted back and forth around the room, as if she were scared someone could hear them.

"Yes," Camila nodded once, but not looking directly at Lauren. The older girl ran her fingers up and down Camila's arm in an attempt to keep her calm. She took a deep breath and tried to choose her next words very carefully.

"Did the person who hurt you... do these?" Lauren asked, pointing to the bruises on Camila's stomach where her shirt had ridden up. The small girl quickly tugged it down to cover the bruises and proceeded to nod hesitantly.

The thought of someone hurting Camila like that made Lauren's blood boil, but she forced herself to remain calm for the sake of the younger girl. She took a few moments to collect herself before speaking again.

"Can you tell me who?" Lauren asked gently. She saw Camila's breathing quicken and crossed her fingers that she wouldn't scare the smaller girl into secrecy. A few, long moments of silence passed.

"Bad Tommy," Camila whispered. Lauren almost didn't catch what she had said. Tommy. The name sounded familiar. Tommy. Tom. Tom Maverick. One of her father's business partners. _Camila's uncle._

Lauren sat up straighter and took both of Camila's hands in hers. "Camila, can you try to tell me what you remember?"

"Bad. Stupid," Camila shook her head and pulled her hands out of Lauren's. "I was bad. It hurt. He hurt," Camila's voice softened and she looked back at the older girl with tears in her eyes. Lauren immediately decided that she had done enough digging for the day.

"Okay, okay, c'mere," Lauren whispered, not waiting before scooping Camila up into her arms. "We don't have to talk about it now." Camila wasn't crying, but Lauren could tell she was scared by the way the smaller girl was practically shaking in her arms.

"I won't let him hurt you again, okay?" Lauren pressed a soft kiss into Camila's hair, rubbing soft circles in her back. "I've got you. You're safe here."

"Sing?" Camila lifted her head and looked at Lauren hopefully. The older girl reached up to wipe the few tears from Camila's face and bit her lip.

"Only for you," Lauren sighed. She hated singing around people, mostly because as a child her parents had forced her into voice lessons when she would have rather been drawing. But now, she was thankful for them, if her singing somehow helped calmed Camila down.

_What day is it? And in what month?_

_This clock never seemed so alive._

_I can't keep up and I can't back down,_

_I've been losing so much time._

_Cause it's you and me and all of the people,_

_With nothing to do, nothing to lose._

_And it's you and me and all of the people,_

_And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you._

_All of the things that I want to say,_

_Just aren't coming out right._

_I'm tripping on words, you got my head spinning,_

_I don't know where to go from here._

_Something about you now,_

_I can't quite figure out._

_Everything she does is beautiful,_

_Everything she does is right._

_Cause it's you and me and all of the people,_

_With nothing to do, nothing to lose._

_And it's you and me and all of the people,_

_And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you._

Lauren sighed softly when she finished singing, noticing that Camila had calmed down significantly. The smaller girl lifted her head from Lauren's shoulder and smiled softly.

"Pretty, Lolo," she murmured. Camila pressed three fingers against Lauren's lips and studied her green eyes intently. "Ocean eyes," she whispered, leaning in even closer and gazing into her eyes. Lauren's heart sped up.

Camila just giggled and curled back up beside Lauren. The older girl wondered if Camila knew the effect that she had on her. Lauren remembered what the smaller girl had said the previous night, about wanting to kiss her.

What if Camila _did_ try to kiss her? Would Lauren let her? The green eyed girl sighed and gazed up at the ceiling. She might as well admit it. She had feelings for Camila. Oh god.

 


	14. fourteen

She had feelings for Camila.

Lauren looked down at the smaller girl next to her and bit her lip. Of course she couldn't have fallen for the friendly girl that always smiles at her in Starbucks, or the blonde haired girl in her Art History class.

No, she had to fall for Camila. The eccentric, messy, human tornado that had shown up on their doorstep.

But Camila was so many other things to Lauren. Adorable, affectionate, endearing, genuine, cuddly, goofy, enchanting, and yellow. Yellow.

Lauren understood why Camila liked that color so much. Camila was the human equivalent of the color yellow. Bright, cheery, and joyful. Yellow was also the color of sunshine, which Lauren considered ironic.

So to answer her own question, yes. Lauren would let Camila kiss her. There was only one problem, and that was the fact that Lauren had no idea if Camila even knew what kissing meant. What if Camila just wanted to kiss everyone she met?

It was obvious that Camila was capable of love. Lauren could tell by the way the smaller girl would give the gentlest of care to even something as trivial as a flower. Camila loved. Camila loved everything.

But did Camila know how to love?

The fact that Lauren could see herself loving Camila surprised even Lauren herself. She had never seen herself falling in love. In fact, Lauren had basically sworn off any type of relationship before she met Camila.

Lauren didn't like people. Most people. She liked her family, her roommates, and now Camila. That was about it.

She was always afraid that someone was trying to befriend her for the wrong reasons. Or that someone was being nice to her as a joke. She hated secrecy, and lies, and everything else that most people considered to be just a normal part of life.

But now, there was Camila. Camila was pure, Camila was innocent. There wasn't even a word to describe Camila. She was just so genuinely Camila.

There was no way of knowing if Camila returned her feelings, really. Lauren sighed heavily, realizing that she would just have to wait and see what happened.

Camila lifted her head and furrowed her eyebrows when she felt Lauren sigh.

"Lolo?" she tilted her head to the side. "Are you sad?"

Lauren laughed softly and shook her head. "No, silly," she crinkled her nose. "I'm just tired." She noticed Camila yawn and realize the smaller girl was probably still exhausted from the night before. They both hadn't gotten much sleep.

"Goodnight, Lolo," Camila mumbled, before burying her head in Lauren's shoulder. Lauren bit her lip to stop herself from smiling. She stared up at the ceiling for a while, continuing to cycle through her thoughts about Camila.

Camila's hand twitched and Lauren giggled when she realized she was asleep. She scooted over a bit so they could both fit long ways on the couch. She laid her head back and sighed softly, inviting sleep to overtake her. Eventually her eyelids grew heavy and she drifted off to sleep.

Meanwhile, Dinah and Normani were being dismissed from their only class that day. The Polynesian girl wiped the sweat from her forehead and took a big gulp from her water bottle.

"I'm beat," Dinah huffed as Normani grabbed her bag and slung it over her shoulder.

"Same. And I'm starving," Normani patted her stomach for emphasis. Dinah nodded in agreement.

"Hey, why don't we meet Ally at DiClaudio's for lunch and discuss this whole... situation?" Dinah asked, following her roommate down the school hallway and into the parking lot.

"I'll call her and ask," Normani nodded, throwing their bags into the car and whipping her phone out of her pocket.

Ten minutes later they were being led to a small booth in the back of the diner, where Ally already sat waiting for them. She greeted the girls with a soft smile. Dinah and Normani slid into the booth.

"So what's up?" Ally asked. She was a tad oblivious to the entire situation with Camila. And Lauren and Camila. Her two roommates exchanged glances and Dinah sighed.

"Camila," Dinah nodded once. "Her and Lauren are getting... rather, close."

Ally smiled and nodded. "I know, isn't it great? They're getting along way better than I thought they would." The oldest girl dipped her straw into her drink and took a sip. She noticed the concerned look on Dinah's face. "Is there something wrong with that?"

"You heard what Camila said the other day," Normani spoke up. "About wanting to kiss Lauren and all... I think... We think that Lauren's starting to... to develop feelings for her."

Ally raised an eyebrow. "Wait, you're serious?" Both girls nodded.

"Camila obviously like... idolizes her," Dinah drew patterns in the condensation on her glass. "But this is Lauren we're talking about, you know?"

Ally nodded. All three roommates knew well enough that Lauren was not one to do feelings. Or emotions in general. The green eyed girl wouldn't even let the other girls see her cry most of the time.

The waiter came over and took their orders, and soon they arrived at the table. Ally sipped a spoonful of her soup and furrowed her eyebrows.

"Do we talk to Lauren about this?" she asked. "I mean, that might not go over so well with her..."

"She denies there's anything going on whenever I try to get it out of her," Dinah sighed and shook her head. "Stubborn ass," she chuckled.

"What do we do, then?" Ally asked. Dinah and Normani exchanged glances before turning back to Ally.

"Well we don't want Camila to get hurt," Normani nodded softly and thought for a moment. "I think all we can do right now is keep an eye on them and make sure they don't get too close, right? We could get Camila to sleep in another room."

"I think that's a little extreme, Mani," Ally sighed and shook her head. "I mean, I hope Lauren is smart enough to know that if she does get involved... it's going to be... different."

Dinah sighed. "Ally's right. Y'know we'd get our asses kicked if Lauren even finds out we were talking about this right now." Both her roommates laughed softly. "I say we just drop a few hints to Lauren to make her realize the... intensity of Camila's situation."

The other two girls nodded, finishing their conversation just as their check arrived at the table. They paid, thanked the waiter, and left.

"I'll see you when I get home," Ally waved from the parking lot. The smaller girl had more classes that day, while Normani and Dinah were heading straight back to the apartment. All three girls said their goodbyes and went their separate ways.

"What do you think they're doing right now?" Normani joked as they ascended the stairs up to their apartment. Dinah laughed and pursed her lips in thought for a moment.

"I bet Camila made a giant mess and Lauren is still asleep," Dinah smirked, and both girls burst into laughter. Both of them knew how accurate Dinah's guess was. Which is why when they opened the door to their apartment, their jaws dropped open in shock.

Lauren and Camila were both asleep on the couch. Camila was completely on top of Lauren with her head tucked into the crook of the girl's neck. Her hands were balled up in the sleeves of Lauren's hoodie, as if she was holding onto her to make sure she was still there. Meanwhile, Lauren's arms were wrapped around Camila's torso and holding her close against her chest.

"That's kind of adorable," Normani admitted, biting her lip and turning to Dinah. The Polynesian girl laughed softly and walked into the kitchen. Normani followed and hopped up to sit on the counter.

"You don't think Lauren really has feelings for her, do you?" Dinah asked suddenly, turning around and facing Normani. The dark haired girl shrugged and glanced back at the pair in the living room.

"It sure seems like it," Normani bit her lip.

"I just..." Dinah sighed. "Lauren hated her, and now," she motioned to the girls on the couch. "It's just hard for me to see her forgiving her when Camila hasn't even given her an apology. And I know it's horrible because we don't even know if Camila even remembers doing that to Lauren, but..."

Normani nodded in understanding, knowing how protective Dinah could get of Lauren. The Polynesian girl had practically been Lauren's bodyguard after she was outed in high school.

"I think anyone that can somehow turn Lauren from hating them to cuddling with them on a couch must be pretty special," Normani joked. Dinah smiled softly and nodded.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," she ran a hand through her hair. "I'm gonna go get a shower, I'm all smelly after class."

Normani giggled and nodded. "Let me know when you're done," she watched as Dinah jogged upstairs. Just as she turned to walk in the living room, the bathroom door shut rather loudly. She saw Camila stir on the couch and quickly ducked back into the kitchen.

Camila yawned, pushing her palms into the couch and looking around. When she saw Lauren underneath her, she giggled happily. Normani watched from behind the wall as Camila studied Lauren's face for a few moments. Just as Normani was about to turn away, Camila leaned down and pecked the sleeping girl on the lips.

Normani had to cup her hands over her own mouth to stop herself from gasping. Had Camila really just kissed Lauren? The green eyed girl remained asleep, and Camila carefully rolled off of the couch and headed towards the kitchen. Normani quickly acted busy, pulling out her phone and scrolling aimlessly through it.

Camila jumped when she entered the kitchen and saw Normani, but she smiled widely and waved at the other girl. Normani laughed nervously and watched as Camila skipped over to grab a banana.

"Sleep well?" Normani bit her lip to hide her smirk. Camila turned around and nodded happily.

"Lolo is warm, yes," she smiled and held the banana out to Normani. "Help?"

Normani peeled the banana and handed it back to Camila. The small girl smiled happily and climbed up to sit cross legged in the middle of the island.

"How was your day?" Normani asked, setting her phone down and tilting her head to the side. Maybe Camila would reveal something without even being asked. Camila looked up at the ceiling and thought for a moment.

"Lolo painted," Camila pointed to the window in the back of the apartment. Normani took a few steps to the side and studied it, realizing that the silhouette in Lauren's painting looked familiar. She smirked. Lauren had it bad.

"How was your day?" Camila repeated Normani's previous question.

"Good," Normani smiled softly. Camila took a bite of the banana and giggled. "Dinah's home too, she's showering," Normani added and pointed upstairs. As if on cue, Dinah's voice filled the apartment.

"Maniiii! Shower's open!" Dinah jogged down the stairs and cursed when she realized Lauren was still asleep on the couch. The dark haired girl didn't stir, so she shrugged it off and turned into the kitchen. The minute she was in the kitchen, she was already being dragged into the other room by Normani.

"Camila kissed Lauren," Normani whispered when they were out of earshot. Dinah's eyes widened.

"What?"

"Yeah, Camila woke up and kissed Lauren, and then just came and ate a banana like it was nothing," Normani nodded towards the sleeping girl on the couch.

"Well shit," Dinah laughed, running a hand through her hair and thinking for a moment. "Do you think they've kissed before?" Normani shrugged.

Lauren whined, stirring on the couch and rolling over. She realized she wasn't on her bed as soon as she hit the ground with a thud. Groaning, the green eyed girl sat up and wiped her eyes.

Dinah and Normani retreated back into the kitchen as soon as they heard Lauren wake up. Groggily, Lauren pushed herself up to her feet. When she realized Camila wasn't there, she grew worried.

"Camz?" she called, wiping her eyes and looking around. Camila's face lit up when she heard Lauren, and she hopped off the counter.

"Lolo," she hummed, finding the green eyed girl in the living room. "Look, banana," she smiled and held up her food for Lauren to see.

"Camz?" Dinah whispered from in the kitchen. Normani raised an eyebrow at the nickname.

"We should probably make our presence known," Normani mumbled. Before Dinah could argue, she walked into the living room.

"Oh, h-hey Mani," Lauren smiled, taking a step away from Camila to try and drown the girl's suspicions. Camila only took another step closer to Lauren and offered the girl a bite of her banana.

"No thanks," Lauren couldn't help but giggle at how happy the smaller girl appeared to be now that she had the fruit. "I didn't know you guys were home," Lauren bit her lip when Dinah soon followed Normani out of the kitchen.

"Have a nice nap?" Dinah teased, shoving Lauren playfully.

"Hey!" Camila gasped, pulling Lauren away from Dinah and holding onto her arm protectively. "Be nice to Lolo," she said firmly, patting Lauren's shoulder.

Lauren laughed softly and shook her head. "It's okay, Camz, they're just joking around," she crinkled her nose at the smaller girl, who seemed to be thinking over what she had just said.

"Camz?" Dinah questioned, taking the opportunity. Normani bit her lip to try and stop herself from laughing. Lauren's face turned bright red, but she quickly composed herself.

"Yeah, Camz. It's easier than saying Cah-mee-luh," she stressed the syllables before shrugging softly.

"Mhm, sure," Dinah smirked, plopping down on the couch. Normani couldn't help but laugh at how blunt the Polynesian was being. Lauren sent Normani a questioning glance.

"Can we tell her?" Normani whispered, leaning over and cupping Dinah's ear. The Polynesian girl pursed her lips in thought and shrugged.

"I guess so," Dinah glanced at Lauren. "Go ahead. I'll watch the banana princess," she nodded towards Camila, who was sitting in the middle of the floor and smiling contently. Normani nodded and motioned for Lauren to follow her. She led the green eyed girl upstairs, just incase there was a reaction larger than they would have expected.

"What's going on?" Lauren asked, growing more concerned by the second. Normani sighed and sat down on her bed, patting the space next to her for Lauren to sit down. Lauren shook her head and stayed standing up.

Sighing, Normani chose her words carefully. "We got home right before Camila woke up," she explained, running a hand through her hair. "And when she did... she sorta kissed you."

Lauren's hand immediately shot up to her lips. "What?" she asked quietly, feeling her heart speed up in her chest. How did she not wake up?

"Yeah," Normani nodded, unsure of what else to say. She saw a blush form on the other girl's cheeks and couldn't help but laugh. "Bet you wish you would've been awake for that," she smirked.

Lauren's eyes widened and she quickly moved her hand off of her lips. "I-I... I don't know what you're talking about."

"Lauren, we all know," Normani laughed softly. "It's okay."

Sighing, Lauren sat down on the bed and ran a hand through her hair. "What am I supposed to do?" she asked, finally giving up on denying her feelings for the girl downstairs.

Normani scooted over slightly and turned to face Lauren. "What do you mean?"

"About Camila," Lauren bit her lip and glanced down at her hands in her lap. "I mean, I have these... feelings, or whatever they are, for her... but she's just... Camila. How am I supposed to know if she... y'know?"

Normani raised her eyebrows in surprise. She hadn't expected that. "So you're scared she doesn't... return your feelings?" the dark skinned girl asked carefully. Lauren nodded and sighed heavily.

"Lolo?!" a panicked voice came from downstairs. Lauren stood up quickly, biting her lip and glancing at Normani.

"Go ahead," the other girl laughed, and Lauren jogged downstairs.

"Yeah?" she asked, sliding to a halt in the living room. Camila whipped her head around when she heard Lauren's voice. She ran into the green eyed girl's arms and clung to her.

"I lost you," Camila mumbled into Lauren's shirt. The green eyed girl bit her lip when she saw Dinah stand up from the couch. The Polynesian girl mouthed 'Did she tell you?' and pointed upstairs. Lauren nodded slowly.

"I'll give you two some privacy," Dinah grinned, disappearing up the stairs before Lauren could argue. Sighing, the green eyed girl placed her hands on Camila's shoulders and took a step backwards.

"Hey, I was only upstairs," Lauren said softly, feeling bad that she'd scared Camila. The smaller girl nodded and bit her lip. "C'mon," Lauren led Camila over to the couch and sat down next to her.


	15. fifteen

Meanwhile, the moment Dinah appeared upstairs, Normani dragged her into the bedroom and closed the door behind them.

"Lauren admitted it," Normani smirked. Dinah tilted her head to the side.

"Well, not exactly, but close enough. She definitely has feelings for her" Normani explained. "And we were completely wrong."

"Wrong?" Dinah asked, sitting down on the bed. "How were we wrong?"

"We were all concerned about the feelings not being returned by _Lauren_ , right?" Normani asked, earning a nod from the other girl. "Well that's not the case. Lauren's scared that _Camila_ doesn't return her feelings." Normani laughed and sat down. "She's got it bad, Dinah."

"What? That's insane," Dinah shook her head and laughed softly. "It's obvious Camila adores her, you see the way she looked at her?" Normani nodded in agreement.

"Out of all people, Lauren chooses Camila," Dinah laughed and ran a hand through her hair. "I see why, though, now that I think about it." Normani raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Lauren hates fake people, Mani," Dinah explained, gesturing to the stairs. "Camila's the complete opposite of fake."

"Damn," Normani laughed, realizing how accurate Dinah was. "We've got to tell Ally."

Dinah nodded in agreement. "Maybe Lauren will actually talk to us about it now," she stood up and ran a hand through her hair. "C'mon, let's go see what the lovebirds are up to."

Both girls giggled when they got to the bottom of the stairs and saw Camila cuddled up in Lauren's side on the couch. Lauren looked up and felt her cheeks turn red when she caught sight of her two roommates looking over at them.

"Is she okay?" Normani asked, trying not to make Lauren feel uncomfortable. The green eyed girl nodded slowly.

"She didn't know where I was," Lauren answered honestly. Dinah and Normani exchanged glances and both smirked.

"That's adorable," Dinah commented, plopping down on the other side of the couch and raising an eyebrow at Lauren. The green eyed girl glared at her, but Dinah knew she wasn't serious. Camila looked up at the other girls and smiled shyly.

"What're we doing for dinner?" Dinah asked, raising an eyebrow at Lauren.

"I don't know, _Dinah_ , I thought you were supposed to be in charge of dinner tonight?" the other girl smirked and Normani high-fived her.

"Pizza?" Dinah shrugged. Camila's eyes widened.

"Yes, pizza, yes please," Camila clapped her hands together, causing the other three girls to double over in laughter.

"Pizza it is then," Dinah nodded once. Camila giggled excitedly and smiled over at Lauren.

"Too cute," Dinah muttered under her breath and shook her head. Lauren shoved her playfully and Camila giggled.

"Oh, so you stick up for _her_ , but not for me?" Dinah crinkled her nose at Camila. "I see how it is," she teased. Camila giggled and hid her head in Lauren's shoulder.

"Hey Mila, wanna come get the pizza with me?" Dinah asked, nudging Normani. Camila looked up at Lauren questioningly.

"Go ahead," the green eyed girl motioned for Camila to follow Dinah. "I'll be right here when you get back." Camila nodded with a soft smile and hopped up to her feet, engaging Dinah in an animated conversation about pizza as they exited the apartment.

"So..." Normani started, falling back on the couch next to Lauren. "Continuing our conversation from earlier... you're really scared that Camila is the one not returning the feelings?"

Lauren raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, I mean, why wouldn't I be?"

"To be honest, we were sort of more concerned that you didn't return _her_ feelings," Normani admitted. Lauren looked surprised.

" _Her_ feelings?" the green eyed girl asked. Normani nodded immediately, surprised that Lauren appeared to be this oblivious.

"She's completely attached to you, Laur," the other girl said with a laugh. "That girl absolutely adores you, I don't get how you don't see it." Lauren's cheeks flushed red and she quickly looked away.

"But she isn't... well at least in high school, she wasn't attracted to girls," Lauren bit her lip and looked back up. "What if she isn't?"

"Who says she wasn't? Either way, she is now, because trust me - the way she looks at you says it all," Normani said firmly, wanting Lauren to believe her words. "Besides, wasn't _she_ the one who said she wanted to kiss you?"

"Yeah..." Lauren's face grew even redder. "But what if kissing doesn't mean anything to her? What if she doesn't underst-,"

"Lauren, stop thinking to much," Normani laughed and shook her head. "You need to stop thinking about everything that could possibly go wrong and try to focus on something good that could come out of this, okay?"

Sighing, the green eyed girl nodded slowly. "I guess I do, yeah."

Normani smiled and shoved her friend playfully in the shoulder. "Just give it time, Laur," she stood up and ran a hand through her hair. "I'm gonna go shower really quick before they get back with dinner." Lauren nodded and watched as her roommate disappeared up the stairs, leaving her all alone in the living room.

Sighing, Lauren wandered over to the easel in the back of the apartment and began adding the smaller details into her painting.

Meanwhile, Dinah and Camila had just left the pizza place, and were now on the way back to the apartment. Camila smiled happily, holding the warm box of food on her lap and watching the buildings whiz by.

"So, Camila," Dinah bit her lip and glanced over at the other girl. "You and Lauren seem to be getting along pretty well."

"Yes," Camila nodded once. She smiled and turned to look at Dinah. "Lolo is my friend."

Dinah laughed softly. "Do you think, maybe... you like her as more than a friend?" Camila tilted her head to the side and Dinah continued. "Like... romantically. Like you wanna kiss her and hug her and be her girlfriend and shit."

Camila's eyes widened and she shook her head quickly. "No, please," she brought her hands up as if she were surrendering. "Bad. Stupid Camila."

"Camila, you're not stupid?" Dinah raised an eyebrow in disbelief. She saw how distraught Camila had grown and quickly pulled over to the side of the road, turning to the smaller girl. "What's wrong?"

"Please," Camila shook her head, cowering back against the car door, as far away from Dinah as possible. "Stupid," she muttered under her breath.

"You're not stupid, Mila," Dinah repeated, reaching out and taking one of Camila's hands. The smaller girl flinched, but allowed it to happen. "The reason I asked, well... Normani saw you kiss Lauren when you woke up an-,"

"Please!" Camila cried, covering her face with her hands and tucking her head down. "Sorry, sorry, bad, sorry," she mumbled, shaking her head.

"Camila," Dinah said softly, trying to get the smaller girl to calm down. "Camila, you're not in trouble or anything," she bit her lip, wondering just what exactly was going on in the smaller girl's head.

"Sorry," Camila's small voice cracked and she looked up slowly. Dinah cursed herself for bringing it up, because now she'd have to tell Lauren about Camila's minor breakdown, which also meant admitting to questioning the smaller girl about her relationship with Lauren.

"Camila, there's nothing wrong with you liking Lauren like that," Dinah reached out and squeezed the smaller girl's hand. "You love who you love, no one has control over that. Did... did someone make you think that was bad?"

Camila just nodded slowly. Dinah decided not to push her any further.

"Okay, well whoever told you that was wrong, okay? I promise. You can't tell your taste buds to love broccoli, right?" Dinah asked, trying to use food as a reference for the smaller girl. Camila nodded.

"Well, see? It's the same thing. You can't just tell yourself to love someone you don't want to love. Just like you can't control how much you love bananas, you can't control if you're attracted to girls instead of boys. It's just who _you_ are," Dinah said firmly, poking Camila's nose and making the smaller girl giggle.

"Promise?" Camila whispered, holding out her pinky finger hesitantly.

"Duh," Dinah flicked her hair out of her face and locked their fingers together. "You don't need some stupid promise to tell you that, either. Your body already tells you when you see someone you like, right?"

Camila tilted her head to the side in confusion.

"Like... when you look at Lauren, how do you feel?"

Camila thought for a moment. "Happy," she nodded once.

"Do you get butterflies in your stomach?" Dinah asked with a small smile. She saw Camila ponder the saying and then nod quickly.

"Yes, like this," Camila wiggled her fingers in front of her face. "When she is happy, my cheeks...." she pressed her hands to her face "They get happy."

Dinah laughed at the girl's innocence. "And so... you like her? In the way where you want to kiss her and hold her hand and that kinda stuff?" She felt ridiculous explaining it like this, but she knew Camila understood.

She noticed the small girl's hesitation and squeezed her hand. "Hey, remember what we just talked about? There's nothing wrong with it, Mila, promise."

"I like her," Camila said softly, tasting the words on her tongue for the first time.

"There we go," Dinah laughed, giving Camila a thumbs up and starting the car once more. Camila was smiling like an idiot as she pulled back onto the street and got back onto the course for the way home.

"I like her ocean eyes," Camila continued, looking down at her hands in her lap.

"Yeah?" Dinah smirked.

"Yes," Camila nodded once. "I like her ocean eyes. And her lips. They're pink." She gazed out the window. "Pink like... the flowers, at the park."

Dinah giggled.

"And I like her smile. She smiles with her lips," Camila continued, and Dinah realized she didn't plan on stopping anytime soon. "And it makes me happy. And she giggles, and that makes me happy."

"Sounds li-," Dinah was interrupted.

"And her nose is cute. She laughs, and her nose laughs too. It crinkles," Camila poked her own nose, giggling softly to herself. "Lolo sings, too. It's pretty."

"I've created a monster," Dinah mumbled under her breath, looking over at the smaller girl who continued talking, mostly to herself.

"Lolo is like an angel," Camila pressed her palms against the cool glass of the car window. "And she is nice. Lolo is nice and funny and yellow. Lolo is very yellow."

"Yellow?" Dinah spoke up.

"Yes, yellow," Camila nodded once, as if that was enough of an explanation. "And I like Lolo."

"Well w-," the Polynesian girl groaned half-heartedly when Camila continued talking over her.

"Lolo is... like a flower," Camila nodded, proud at herself for the reference. "She smells good. Like a flower. And... and she's pretty. Flowers are pretty, too."

Dinah nodded softly as they pulled into the apartment parking lot. "Hate to burst your bubble, Chancho, but we're home."

"Lolo is at home!" Camila's face lit up and she scrambled out of the car. Dinah bit her lip when she realized the smaller girl was now holding the pizza box upside down. Sighing, she followed Camila through the two glass doors and into the elevator.

"I love pizza," Camila smiled, shaking the box in front of Dinah as the elevator made its way upwards. Dinah gave in and took the box from her hands, holding it tight in her own. Camila didn't seem to mind, she just wandered over and traced patterns in the metallic wall of the elevator.

The elevator dinged and the doors slowly rolled open. Camila skipped down the hallway, knocking on each door. Dinah cursed, quickly unlocking their own apartment and pulling the girl inside before the annoyed neighbors answered their doors.

"Lolo! Pizza!" Camila called, looking around the apartment for the green eyed girl.

"I'm coming!" Lauren called, jogging down the stairs and running her hand through her long hair. Camila smiled widely when she saw Lauren, and padded over to her.

"Lolo," she hummed, poking Lauren's nose and giggling.

"Pizza's not getting any warmer!" Dinah called from the kitchen. Lauren laughed when Camila sprinted into the other room, and she followed close behind. She raised an eyebrow when she saw how disheveled the pizza was. Just as she was about to ask Dinah what happened, Camila turned to her.

"I carried it myself," Camila said proudly. Lauren nodded, her question already answered.

Dinah handed them each plates and they thanked her, picking a slice and heading into the living room. Normani joined them a few minutes later, and then the familiar jingle of keys signified that Ally was home.

"Two of our neighbors are in the hallway arguing about a ghost knocking on doors," Ally giggled, shutting the door behind her. Dinah glanced over at Camila, who seemed completely oblivious.

"Pizza's in the kitchen," Normani mumbled with a mouthful of food, making Camila giggle wildly.

"What's so funny?" Lauren teased, also with a mouthful of food. Camila turned to her and laughed even harder. "M' just trying to eat m' pizza," Lauren mumbled before taking another bite. Camila giggled and covered her face with her hands.

Ally soon joined them and Camila begged to watch an episode of 'Friends,' which had quickly become her favorite TV show.

"I am Rachel, Rachel is me," Normani laughed, sprawled out on the couch. "She always thinks she's doing the right thing and ends up screwing things up even more." The other roommates laughed, nodding in agreement.

"I think Dinah is Joey," Lauren spoke up, pointing to the screen. Dinah gasped in fake shock.

"Why am I Joey?" she huffed, making Lauren laugh.

"Cause he eats a lot and always makes a fool out himself in front of the opposite sex," Lauren teased. Dinah shoved her playfully. Camila glared at her from her spot on the floor.

"If I'm Joey, then you're obviously Chandler," Dinah rebutted. "Always making jokes that no one else understands."

Lauren laughed, holding up her hands as if she was surrendering. "I won't argue with that."

"Ally's totally Monica," Normani spoke up. "She's the responsible one, and also a complete neat freak." Everyone but Ally laughed, and they all received a playful glare from the girl.

"What about me?" Camila turned around and looked at her friends. In return, they all looked to Lauren for an answer. The green eyed girl bit her lip.

"You're like Phoebe," Lauren pointed to the blonde actress who had just appeared on the screen. "She didn't really live with them at first, but they befriended her anyway. And she's funny, but sometimes people don't understand her jokes. But that's okay, because she's really good at making people laugh despite that. And she sees the beauty in everything. And she isn't afraid to be herself."

When she finished, she received smirks from Dinah and Normani, and she rolled her eyes.

"Okay," Camila hummed happily, turning back to the screen.

"You're sure the charmer, Jauregui," Dinah teased. Lauren threw a pillow at her roommate and stood up from the couch.

"I'm gonna take a quick shower," Lauren announced, making sure her roommates heard her before slipping up the spiral staircase. She hummed quietly to herself as she stepped into the shower, letting the hot water relax her muscles.

Fifteen minutes later, Lauren wiped her eyes and reached out from behind the curtain to grab a towel. She wrapped the fluffy towel around her body before stepping out of the shower. She gasped moments later.

"Hi," Camila smiled, sitting on the counter and kicking her legs back and forth aimlessly.

"Uh, hi," Lauren stuttered, holding the towel tight around herself. "What are you doing in here?" she asked, tilting her head to the side.

"I was waiting for you," Camila smiled. Lauren narrowed her eyes when she saw Dinah smirking from the crack in the door across the hallway. She sighed and grabbed her hairbrush from the counter before walking into her bedroom. As always, Camila followed close behind. Lauren stopped her at the door.

"Can you wait here? I need to get changed," she bit her lip. Camila nodded slowly and sat down in the middle of the hallway. Lauren held up a finger, signaling for her to wait. She grabbed one of her hoodies and a pair of pajama pants and tossed them to Camila. "Go change in the bathroom."

Camila brought the hoodie up to her face and smiled eagerly. She loved Lauren's clothes. Nodding, she tiptoed into the bathroom and closed the door.

Lauren quickly got changed into a hoodie and boxers. Moments later, there was a knock at her door. Camila didn't bother waiting for a response, she just smiled and wandered into the room.

"Hey," Lauren laughed, sitting down on the edge of her bed. She heard her phone buzz from the nightstand and grabbed it. Camila sat down next to her and hugged a pillow to her chest.

**[** **8:21** **\- Dinah] Forgot to tell you - Camila had a freak out in the car when we started talking about her... 'liking' you (don't hate me I had to). Apparently someone didn't exactly want her liking girls.**

**[** **8:22** **\- Dinah] But she definitely likes you, ocean eyes ;)**

**[** **8:22** **\- Dinah] You can thank me later.**

Lauren furrowed her eyebrows and set her phone down.

"Hey Camila, can we talk?" she asked, scooting back on the bed and patting the space next to her. Camila crawled over and sat cross legged, tilting her head to the side.

"Did your uncle ever hurt you because of someone you liked?" Lauren bit her lip, hoping she wouldn't scare the smaller girl into silence. Camila looked down at her hands and took a deep breath before nodding.

"Why?"

Camila bit her lip. "I do not like boys," she mumbled and looked up at Lauren. "Boys are not pretty."

Lauren couldn't help but laugh softly. "Your uncle has an ugly soul, you know that? Because there's nothing wrong with you liking girls," she took a deep breath and thought for a moment. She couldn't imagine someone hurting her for who she liked. If her parents hadn't been supportive when she came out, she had no idea where she would be.

"When I told my dad that I liked girls, he was confused when I started crying," Lauren started, sharing a part of her life she didn't share with many people. "He told me there was no reason to cry. He said he saw it as just discovering something new about his daughter. That it was no different than me telling him about a new band I liked, or showing him a new project I did in art class. It was a part of who I was, and nothing to be ashamed of. He told me he didn't think it was a big deal because it didn't define me. I was still his daughter, no matter who I loved."

"He is nice?" Camila asked, tilting her head to the side. Lauren giggled and nodded.

"Yeah, he's awesome."

"You...?" the smaller girl looked down at her hands. "You like... girls, too?"

Lauren nodded once more. "Yup," she laughed softly, realizing that Camila had no clue that she had been the one to out Lauren. It was comforting, in a way. She saw the smaller girl yawn. "Tired?"

Camila looked hesitant, but nodded anyway. Lauren leaned over and turned out the light, crawling under the covers and patting the bed, signifying for Camila to do the same. Once the small girl was curled up beside her, Lauren laid her head down.

"Goodnight, Camz," she whispered.

"Wait," Camila blurted out. Lauren, confused, lifted her head and looked at the smaller girl. The only light they had was the dim moonlight streaming through the window. Camila looked almost angelic.

"What?" Lauren asked, biting her lip at the lack of space between them.

"I like you, Lolo," Camila whispered. Before Lauren could respond, Camila leaned up and planted a quick kiss on the older girl's lips. Without another word, Camila laid her head back down on her pillow and closed her eyes.

Lauren felt a rush of adrenaline surge though her, and quickly brought her hands up to her lips to make sure that had just happened. She looked at Camila, who seemed completely oblivious. Her cheeks flushed pink and she slowly lay back down with her back to the smaller girl. Camila had just kissed her.

A few minutes of silence passed and Lauren assumed Camila had fallen asleep. She, on the other hand, was now too wired to sleep. Even the smallest kiss from Camila drew the most intense feelings out of her.

"Please do not be mad," Camila sat up quickly, unable to hold it in. She bit her lip and averted her gaze from Lauren. The green eyed girl sat up slowly, tilting her head to the side.

"I'm not mad?" she raised an eyebrow. "You think I would be mad at you for kissing me?" Camila nodded slowly.

Lauren laughed and shook her head, reaching out and pressing her fingers to Camila's lips, mimicking an action the smaller girl had done multiple times before. "I like you too, Camz," she said with a soft smile. She saw a flash of hope in the girl's eyes.

"Promise?" Camila asked, holding out her pinky eagerly. Lauren giggled and locked their fingers together, bringing their interlocked fingers to her lips and planting a soft kiss where their hands met.

"Promise."

"Thank you," Camila smiled widely, crawling over and tackling Lauren in a hug. Surprised, Lauren laid back on the bed, still holding onto Camila. Both girls giggled.

"No, thank _you_ , Camila," Lauren whispered. She kissed Camila's forehead, feeling relief wash over her. She hadn't realized how tolling it had been to hold those feelings in for so long.

She scooted over slightly so she could pull the blankets back over them. Camila's small hands combed aimlessly though Lauren's hair, giving her the chills.

"And next time, you can wake me up whenever you want to kiss me," Lauren smirked. Camila lifted her head and her eyes widened. "Dinah told me," the green eyed girl quickly explained.

"Sorry," Camila quickly shook her head and tried to sit back up, but Lauren tightened her grip on the girl.

"Never apologize for kissing me," Lauren whispered, rubbing Camila's back to soothe her. The smaller girl sighed and laid her head back down on Lauren's chest.

"Sing?" Camila whispered hopefully. Lauren sighed and nodded.

"Only for you," she trailed her fingers up and down Camila's spine.

_When I was younger,_

_I saw my daddy cry,_

_And curse at the wind._

_He broke his own heart,_

_And I watched,_

_As he tried to reassemble it._

_And my momma swore,_

_That she would never let herself forget._

_And that was the day that I promised,_

_I'd never sing of love,_

_If it does not exist, but darlin',_

_You are, the only exception._

_You are, the only exception._

_You are, the only exception._

_You are, the only exception._

_You are, the only exception_

_You are, the only exception_

_You are, the only exception_

_You are, the only exception_

She paused for a moment, feeling Camila's slow breathing against her neck. Lauren smiled softly, kissing the sleeping girl's forehead and laying her head back on her pillow. She could get used to this.


	16. sixteen

Lauren awoke the next morning to find Camila still asleep. She giggled softly, realizing that the smaller girl had snaked her arms up the sleeves of Lauren's hoodie to keep her hands warm. The events of the night before played in her head like a movie scene and she couldn't help the smile that spread across her face.

"Camz," she whispered, nudging the smaller girl softly. "Camz, I have to get up," she giggled, looking over at the clock and remembering she had class that morning.

"Hmmm," the smaller girl hummed, fluttering her eyes open and smiling widely the moment she saw Lauren next to her. "Hi," she beamed.

"Morning," Lauren laughed, sliding out from underneath of the girl and sitting up.

"I have class today," Lauren said, walking over to her closet and digging through her clothes. "Which means you get to stay home with Ally until I'm back, okay?"

Camila nodded softly. She'd been getting better at realizing that Lauren does, in fact, come back home when she leaves in the mornings. That didn't mean she liked it, though.

Lauren slipped into the bathroom and changed into a comfortable outfit for class, wearing an old t-shirt because she knew they'd be painting that day. Camila waited patiently outside the door and smiled like an idiot when Lauren re-emerged.

"Someone's in a good mood," Lauren giggled. Camila just nodded.

"Yes, I kissed you," she chimed, reminding Lauren of the night before.

Lauren's cheeks grew red. "That you did," she laughed and ran a hand through her hair. "You can always do it again, y'know," she raised an eyebrow. Camila's face lit up, as if she hadn't even considered the idea.

"Okay," she nodded once. Without another word, Camila grabbed Lauren's face gently and planted kisses all over her face, finally pecking her lips once before taking a step back and smiling widely. Lauren's face was blood red by the time she was done. "Your turn," Camila smiled.

"My turn?" Lauren smirked. Camila just nodded, and Lauren pulled Camila closer to her. The smaller girl giggled excitedly, which made Lauren's stomach flutter. She placed one hand on the back of Camila's neck and closed the gap between them, slowly bringing their lips together.

This kiss lasted longer than their ones they'd shared before, if only by a few seconds. Kissing Camila was different than anyone else Lauren had ever kissed. The smaller girl was soft and gentle, and it made Lauren's heart skip a beat. They pulled apart and minutes later were interrupted by the flash of a camera.

"What the...?" Lauren whipped her head around, spotting Ally peering out of her doorway. "Oh my god," Lauren's cheeks grew red and she covered her face. Camila giggled.

"Normani and Dinah are never going to believe this," Ally smirked, walking over to them and tucking her phone into her pocket. Camila clapped her hands excitedly. "C'mon Laur, it's cute," Ally laughed and nudged her roommate. Lauren took her hands away from her face and scowled at the older girl, but couldn't hold back her smile.

"I hate to interfere, but you're gonna be late for class if you don't hurry your ass up," Ally pointed to the clock and Lauren cursed under her breath. All three girls ended up downstairs, and Camila wandered into the kitchen.

"So you two..." Ally smirked once she and Lauren were alone. "How'd that come about?"

Lauren shrugged, grabbing her bag from the couch. "She kissed me and it just sorta happened," she bit her lip to hide her smile when Ally clapped her hands happily. Just then, Camila padded back into the room and handed Lauren a banana.

"Breakfast," she smiled softly. Lauren giggled, finding the small gesture extremely adorable.

"Thank you," Lauren tossed her backpack over her shoulder. "I'll be back after lunchtime, okay?" Camila nodded softly. Lauren bent down and placed a kiss on the younger girl's cheek. "See you soon," she smiled softly, waving as she slipped out the door. Once she was gone, Camila sighed and sat down on the couch.

"You like her a lot, huh?" Ally giggled. Camila looked up and nodded happily. "I'm glad," the older girl added, walking into the kitchen. "Are you hungry?"

The pair made breakfast together and Camila was about to wander back upstairs when she noticed something out of place in the living room, she quickly found Ally in the kitchen and tugged on her sleeve.

"Lolo's painting," Camila pointed in the living room. Ally tilted her head in thought for a moment before realizing what Camila meant.

"She needs that for her class, doesn't she?"

Camila nodded. Ally grabbed her keys from the counter and motioned for Camila to go grab her painting. "Let's go pay her a visit, then," she smiled. Camila's face lit up and she eagerly followed Ally out of the apartment, painting in hand.

Meanwhile, Lauren sat in class, cursing herself for forgetting her required project for the second time in two weeks. She knew she wouldn't hear the end of this. She laid her head down on her desk as her professor droned on and on about the difference between oil and acrylic paints. She had nearly fallen asleep when she heard the class fall silent. Lifting her head, she looked around to see what had caused her teacher to stop speaking.

"Uh, hi, I just needed to drop this off for Lauren."

Lauren looked over at the door when she heard Ally's voice. She sighed in relief when she saw the smaller girl holding her painting, silently thanking her.

"You can set it in the back of the classroom over there," her professor pointed behind him. Ally nodded and hurried over to place the painting in the back of the classroom. Lauren met her eyes and mouthed 'thank you,' Ally smiled and gave her a thumbs up.

"Lolo?"

Everyone's heads turned back to the door, including Lauren. Camila recognized her and waved violently. The small girl glanced at Ally before slipping inside the classroom and running over to Lauren. The older girl's heart sped up and she felt everyone's eyes on her.

"Hi," Camila beamed, running over to the table where Lauren sat and smiling widely. Lauren bit her lip to hide her smile at how enthusiastic Camila appeared.

"Hey," Lauren said softly. Ally turned around and saw Camila, cursing herself for not making the girl wait in the car.

"Camila, c'mon," Ally hissed, motioning quickly for Camila to stop disrupting the class.

"Go," Lauren giggled and nodded towards Ally. Camila pouted but nodded slowly.

"Bye Lolo," she mumbled, turning to leave but pausing for a moment. Camila turned back around, cupped Lauren's cheeks, and planted a quick kiss on her lips. Lauren's face grew bright red and she heard Camila giggling as she ran back over to Ally, who had just apologized to the teacher. Both girls were soon out of their sight and Lauren heard the whispers of her classmates.

Lauren bit the inside of her cheek in an attempt to hide a smile on her face. She looked down at her sketchbook as her teacher started his lecture once more, but the only thing she could focus on was the taste of Camila on her lips.

Eventually, after what felt like forever, the class was dismissed. Lauren tried to escape out of the door first, but her teacher motioned for her to come over to his desk. Biting her lip, Lauren prepared herself for the worst. Eventually, all of her other classmates filed out of the room and she was the only one left.

"You're just full of surprises, aren't you Lauren?" her teacher chuckled and placed her painting on the desk in front of him, studying it closely. "You've gone with a different medium for the first time, and I have to say, I'm impressed."

"Wow... I, uh, thank you," Lauren laughed softly to herself, flattered by his compliment.

"I can't say I'm surprised anymore, though," Mr. Robertson pulled her sketches out from last week and laid them next to her painting. "After seeing your interaction with your visitor today, that is."

Lauren bit her lip, wondering if she was in trouble.

"Looks like you've found yourself a muse, Miss Jauregui," he chuckled and nodded to the artwork on the table.

"A what?" Lauren asked, tilting her head to the side.

"A muse," he pointed to the silhouette of the girl in the painting. "Someone who you use as inspiration for your art. She looks familiar, does she not?" he asked, nodding for Lauren to look at where he was pointing. Lauren's cheeks grew red.

"I... I-I..."

"Pablo Picasso had many muses, out of his many romantic interests," he continued, ignoring how flustered his student had grown. "Manet found his muse in a stranger on the street, and has over eight paintings of her."

"I didn't mean for her to interrupt y—,"

"Does she make you happy?"

Lauren swallowed hard. "Yeah," she said softly.

"Then all is forgiven," her teacher smiled and stacked her sketches back into her folder. "I don't say this often, Lauren, but you have potential. You just needed someone to bring it out of you."

Lauren looked down to the ground to try and hide her smile. Camila seemed to be helping her in every aspect of life. "Thank you," she said softly, looking back up and running a hand through her hair.

"You're dismissed," he nodded towards the door. "Keep up the good work."

"Thank you, again, thank you," Lauren adjusted her bag on her shoulder and glanced at the clock, realizing she had to be at her next class soon. She exited the classroom without another word and quickly hurried to her Art History class.

Time dragged on and eventually Lauren found herself tossing her bag into the backseat of her car and heading back to the apartment. When she was about halfway there, she made a rush decision and quickly pulled off onto a different road. Ten minutes later, she ended up at the shopping mall and made it inside just as it started to rain.

About twenty minutes later, she sprinted back to her car with a few shopping bags in her hands. It was pouring down rain, and as she pulled out of the parking lot, a loud clap of thunder startled her. Seconds later, lightning flashed across the sky.

It took Lauren a bit longer to get home than usual because of the storm. Eventually, she made it back to the apartment parking lot and pulled her hood over her head to try and protect her from the rain. It didn't help much, though, because it was pouring down so hard that she was soaking wet by the time she made it inside the elevator.

She heard thunder rumbling in the distance as she was walking down the hallway to her apartment. Immediately afterwards, she heard someone cry out, someone who sounded exactly like Camila. She quickly ran to their door and fumbled with her keys. When she finally got the door unlocked, she burst inside and scanned the apartment.

"Lauren, thank god," Ally sighed in relief. Lauren turned to look in the corner of the apartment, feeling her heart drop when she saw Camila curled up in the corner with her head in her knees. "She started freaking out when the storm started," Ally explained, standing up from where she'd been sitting next to Camila.

Lauren nodded, dropping her bag on the floor and jogging over to Camila.

"Camz, Camz it's me," she said softly as she knelt down next to the shaking girl. Camila lifted her head slowly.

"Lolo?" she murmured, reaching up and placing a hand on the girl's cheek, as if she was making sure she was real. Lauren could tell how scared the smaller girl was by the way she was shaking, and it broke her heart.

"Yeah, I'm here," Lauren whispered, scooting next to Camila and pulling her into her arms. "You don't like storms?" she asked carefully, biting her lip. Camila nodded slowly and didn't hesitate to bury her head in Lauren's neck.

"Neither do I, but I've got you, we're safe here, okay?" Lauren rubbed small circles in Camila's back, trying to soothe her. "I promise, nothing's gonna hurt you," she whispered, resting her chin on the smaller girl's head and watching the rain pour down outside.

Another clap of thunder sent Camila's hands scrambling to ball themselves in Lauren's shirt, clinging onto her for dear life. Ally sent Lauren a sympathetic look, which Lauren returned. She sighed and continued to run circles in Camila's back.

"Do you want me to sing?" Lauren asked, biting her lip and looking down at Camila. The small girl didn't look at her, but she nodded with her head tucked in Lauren's shoulder. "Only for you," Lauren sighed.

 

_If you'll be my star_

_I'll be your sky_

_You can hide underneath me and come out at night_

_When I turn jet black_

_And you show off your light_

_I live to let you shine_

_I live to let you shine_

 

_But you can skyrocket away from me_

_And never come back if you find another galaxy_

_Far from here with more room to fly_

_Just leave me your stardust to remember you by_

 

_If you'll be my boat_

_I'll be your sea_

_A depth of pure blue just to probe curiosity_

_Ebbing and flowing_

_And pushed by a breeze_

_I live to make you free_

_I live to make you free_

 

_But you can set sail to the west if you want to_

_And pass the horizon, 'til I can't even see you_

_Far from here_

_Where the beaches are wide_

_Just leave me your wake to remember you by_

 

_If you'll be my star_

_I'll be your sky_

_You can hide underneath me and come out at night_

_When I turn jet black_

_And you show off your light_

_I live to let you shine_

_I live to let you shine_

 

_But you can skyrocket away from me_

_And never come back if you find another galaxy_

_Far from here with more room to fly_

_Just leave me your stardust to remember you by._

 

Lauren finished singing and took a deep breath. Ally had slipped away upstairs to give the girls some privacy. Camila looked up at her slowly just as another clap of thunder startled both of the girls. The smaller girl immediately hid her face once more.

"More," Camila mumbled into Lauren's hoodie. The older girl sighed softly and began to sing again.

An hour, and a lot of songs later, Camila fell asleep in Lauren's arms just as the thunderstorm was dying down. Ally came downstairs a few minutes later and giggled excitedly at the sight of the two girls.

Lauren glared at her playfully before slowly rising to her feet, keeping Camila in her arms and walking over to the couch. Ally turned on an episode of Friends, which all the roommates had now become addicted to thanks to Camila. Halfway through their second episode, the door swung open to reveal Dinah and Normani.

"How are my little lovebirds?" Dinah cooed, walking over to Lauren with a wide grin on her face. Lauren rolled her eyes and nodded to the sleeping girl in her lap, glaring at Dinah to signify not to wake her.

"She was scared of the storm and Lauren sang to her the entire time until she fell asleep," Ally swooned from her spot on the couch, causing Normani and Dinah to both clap their hands happily. Lauren felt her cheeks turn red and she quickly looked down.

"Y'all are adorable," Ally laughed. The other two roommates nodded in agreement.

"We bought stuff for dinner," Normani added, holding up a shopping bag. "We've gotta shower cause' we just kicked ass in hip hop class, but then we can eat and watch a movie or something to kick off the weekend." Dinah fist bumped the other girl in agreement.

"Well then hurry up because you know when Mila wakes up she's gonna be starving," Ally motioned towards Lauren, who nodded in agreement. They all had quickly grown aware of Camila's never ending appetite.

Normani and Dinah disappeared upstairs, and another episode of Friends later, all five roommates headed into the kitchen where Dinah had spread out all of the ingredients she'd bought to make sandwiches.

"Lolo, look!" Camila beamed, holding up her sandwich. Lauren narrowed her eyes and burst into laughter.

"Camila, you only put bananas in there," Dinah laughed from across the counter. Camila tilted her head to the side in question, unsure what the problem was. Lauren laughed, turning around and grabbing a jar of peanut butter from the panty and unscrewing the lid.

"Let's at least add something besides bananas," Lauren took the top slice of bread from Camila's sandwich and spread a thin layer of peanut butter on the underside before placing it back on her sandwich. "There, try it, you'll like it," she giggled.

Camila looked at the sandwich in her hands for a few moments, studying it before taking a bite. She immediately smiled widely and shot her fist out in Lauren's direction. The green eyed girl laughed and bumped her fist, which made Camila giggle happily with a mouthful of food. 


	17. seventeen

All five girls sat on a circle on the carpet in their living room, deciding to talk instead of watching TV during dinner.

Lauren remembered something and got up, jogging over to the door and grabbing the shopping bag from earlier that day. She sat back down with a small smile on her face and plopped the bag on the floor in front of Camila.

"I got you something," Lauren smiled softly. Dinah, Ally, and Normani all collectively 'awwww'-ed from their spots on the carpet.

"For me?" Camila asked, a small smile appearing on her face. Lauren nodded and Camila clapped her hands excitedly. "Open?"

"Go on," Lauren motioned to the bag. Camila giggled and pulled the bag into her lap, digging inside and pulling out the bright yellow hoodie Lauren had bought.

"Yellow!" Camila squealed. She immediately hugged the sweatshirt to her chest and smiled widely. "Thank you, you're welcome," she crawled over and tackled Lauren in a bone-crushing hug.

Lauren laughed, nearly falling backwards when Camila wrapped her arms around her. "You're welcome," she giggled. Camila pulled away and looked down at the hoodie, giggling excitedly before leaning in, cupping Lauren's face, and planting a kiss on her lips. This earned various hoots and hollers from their other three roommates.

"Damn," Dinah raised her eyebrows at Lauren when Camila pulled away. Lauren's cheeks grew bright red when she saw all her roommate's eyes on her.

Camila stood up with the hoodie in her hands, peeling off her shirt with no shame and changing into the bright yellow sweatshirt.

"So... what are you guys?" Normani asked, turning to Lauren while Camila got changed. Lauren bit her lip, unsure of how to answer the question. Before she could say anything, Camila beat her to it.

"Mine," Camila nodded once.

All of the other girls grew confused. Camila tugged the sweatshirt over her head and padded back over to Lauren, sitting down in her lap contently.

"Mine," Camila repeated, wrapping her arms around Lauren's neck and smiling widely. "My Lolo."

Lauren's heart fluttered and she quietly wrapped her arms around Camila to keep her in her lap. "You heard her," Lauren nodded towards her roommates. "She's my Camz." Camila giggled eagerly and hid her head in the crook of Lauren's neck.

Dinah and Normani both made gagging noises while Ally smiled widely, pulling out her phone and snapping a picture of the two.

"Y'all are too cute, I'm gonna puke," Normani groaned, sending a playful glare Lauren's way. The three roommates weren't used to Lauren being affectionate with anyone. It was a big change, but one that they considered monumental for the girl.

"Shut up," Lauren muttered, trying, but failing to hide her smile. Dinah hopped to her feet to throw away her trash. Camila took that as a sign that dinner was over, and she grabbed the remote from the couch.

"Are we really going to watch Friends  _again_?" Lauren laughed, raising an eyebrow at the girl in her lap. Camila nodded excitedly and picked another episode, focusing her eyes intently on the screen.

Four episodes of Friends and a bag of popcorn later, all five girls were exhausted. Lauren and Camila were the only ones still awake.

Camila yawned, turning over and smiling sleepily at Lauren. The green eyed girl couldn't help but lean down and kiss the smaller girl's forehead.

"Y'ready to go to bed?" Lauren said quietly, not wanting to wake her other roommates. Camila nodded and pried herself out of the older girl's grasp, shuffling towards the stairs. Lauren followed close behind.

The minute the door to the bedroom was closed, Camila placed her hands on Lauren's shoulders and stood on her tiptoes, capturing the older girl's lips in her own. Lauren was taken aback, but quickly caught on.

"You're good at that," she whispered when the kiss broke. Camila giggled and hopped onto the bed, laying on her back and staring up at the ceiling. Lauren changed into a big t-shirt and sleep shorts and joined Camila on the bed.

Legs entwined, hearts beating, chests rising and falling; both girls fell asleep almost instantly in each other's arms.

A scream pierced through the silent air, jolting Lauren out of her slumber. The green eyed girl bolted upwards, darting her eyes around the room and trying to figure out what was going on. The trembling figure beside her quickly made her realize.

"Camz," Lauren whispered, shaking Camila's shoulder to try and wake her up. It was no use. Unsure of what else to do, the green eyed girl pulled Camila's sleeping body into her lap. As soon as she did, the smaller girl began flailing violently, pummeling her fists into Lauren's chest.

"Hey, hey, shhh," Lauren said softly, hugging Camila against her chest and ignoring the punches that were being thrown at her. Moments later, a gasp was emitted from the younger girl's mouth and her body stilled. Realizing where she was, Camila burst into tears and buried her head in Lauren's neck.

"Please..." Camila's small voice cracked. "Please," she shook her head and clung to the material of Lauren's shirt.

"I've got you, Camz," Lauren whispered, stroking the smaller girl's hair. "I'll keep you safe."

"Promise?" Camila looked up at Lauren, who reached out and wiped her eyes with the pad of her thumbs before locking their pinkies together.

"Promise."

Camila sighed heavily and laid her head on Lauren's shoulder. The older girl shivered at the feeling of Camila's warm breath against her neck, giving her goosebumps.

"Sing?" Camila whispered, looking up at Lauren with a glimmer of hope in her eyes.

_"I remember tears streaming down your face when I said "I'll never let you go"_

_When all those shadows almost killed your light_

_I remember you said "don't leave me here alone"_

_But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight_

_Just close your eyes, the sun is going down_

_You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now_

_Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound._

_Don't you dare look out your window, darling everything's on fire_

_The war outside our door keeps raging on_

_Hold onto this lullaby even when the music's gone, gone_

_Just close your eyes, the sun is going down_

_You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now_

_Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound_

_Just close your eyes, you'll be alright_

_Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and s-,"_

Lauren paused when she heard a faint rumbling noise downstairs. Camila lifted her head, wondering why the older girl had suddenly grown quiet.

"Lolo?" she whispered.

"Shh," Lauren held up her hand to signify for the girl to be quiet. A few moments later, there was a loud knock at the front door. Lauren raised an eyebrow in confusion. Who could possibly be looking for them at 2AM?

There was a groaning noise from the next room over and Lauren heard Dinah's heavy footsteps leave the bedroom.

"Yeah, ' _Dinah_ , you don't have to get the door,' they said," the Polynesian girl mumbled grumpily. Lauren heard her jog down the stairs and glanced at Camila questioningly.

"Who is here?" Camila asked, slithering out of bed and walking over to Lauren's bedroom door. Lauren quickly ran after her and grabbed her hand, pulling her back and pressing her ear to the door to try and eavesdrop on what was going on.

"Listen, I don't know who you are, but it is 2 in the fucking m-," Dinah's voice slowly faded when Lauren heard the door open. "Uh, hi?" Dinah suddenly adopted a more polite tone, but still incriminating.

"Is Karla Cabello home?" the low voice grumbled. Lauren tensed. A million worst case scenarios ran through her mind.

"I-I... I don't know a Karla," Dinah quickly answered.

"Me," Camila whispered, tugging on Lauren's sleeve. "That is me."

"I know, shh," Lauren warned her, pulling Camila closer to her and pressing her ear against the door, cupping her hand to try and hear them more clearly.

"Hey, you can't just do that!" Dinah's voice grew louder and Lauren heard multiple loud footsteps enter the apartment. "What the hell are you doing?!"

"We have a warrant to search the premises, ma'am," one of the stern voices replied. Lauren's heart started beating rapidly in her chest and she turned to Camila, placing her hands on the smaller girl's shoulders and looking her straight in the eyes.

"Camila, I need you to  _stay here_ , okay? I will be right back. Don't leave this room. Do you hear me?" she said firmly, trying to stress the importance of her words. Camila nodded slowly, worry flickering in her eyes.

Lauren pressed a quick kiss on Camila's forehead before quietly slipping out of the room. She rushed downstairs, nearly gasping when she saw the three men in uniform practically tearing their house apart.

Dinah and Lauren made eye contact and Dinah's eyes widened. Lauren quickly looked around the apartment, noticing one of the officers digging through her backpack.

"Hey!" she yelled, running over to him and tugging her bag out of his hands. "What the hell are you doing?!"

"Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to step away," another one of the officers put a hand on her shoulder. Lauren whipped her head around and shoved his arm off of her.

"Don't lay a hand on me," she hissed, clutching her bag to her chest. "What are you doing here?"

"You don't happen to know where Karla Cabello is, do you?"

Dinah shook her head furiously from behind the officer, and Lauren did the same. The officer that had been searching her bag before appeared beside her and tried to take the bag out of her arms.

"Don't touch me!" Lauren yelled, yanking her bag away and looking to Dinah for help.

"Lolo?!" Camila's panicked voice rang out from upstairs. Dinah and Lauren both cursed under their breath.

"Go back to bed!" Lauren called, trying to act casual.

"Lolo?" Camila's voice appeared again at the top of the stairs. By this time, all three officers were already heading towards the staircase, and Lauren panicked.

"Stop!" Lauren threw her bag to the ground and ran towards them, sliding to a stop in front of the staircase and blocking them from going any further. "It is 3 in the morning, what do you think you're doing here?"

Lauren internally cursed when she heard soft footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Lolo?" Camila whispered from directly behind Lauren.

"That's her, that's Karla," one of the cops pointed to Camila and suddenly Lauren was shoved aside, almost falling to the ground. She grabbed onto the wall to regain her balance just as Camila started screaming.

"Get off of her," Lauren growled, watching as the officers appeared from the staircase, holding Camila firmly by the shoulders. The smaller girl was whimpering, struggling to escape their grip.

"Karla Cabello," one of the officers pulled a pair of handcuffs out of his pocket and passed them to the man holding Camila. "You're under arrest on the charge of murder in the second degree."

Lauren's heart dropped in her chest and Dinah sprinted over to the green-eyed girl to hold her upright.

"Murder?" Dinah spoke for Lauren, who still couldn't find her words. "You've got to have the wrong person, Camila wouldn't hurt a f-,"

She was cut off by an ear piercing scream from Camila as the handcuffs snapped shut around her wrists. The smaller girl shook her head, trying desperately to pull her hands out of their reach.

"Lolo!" Camila cried, looking straight at Lauren, her eyes pleading for help. Lauren snapped back into reality and put one hand on the wall to steady herself.

"You can't just do that!" Lauren yelled, motioning to the cuffs around Camila's wrists. The officers ignored Camila's cries and shoved her towards the door, practically dragging her by her collar.

"Lolo!" Camila cried again. Lauren's hands shook.

"What are you doing?!" Lauren yelled at the third officer who stood in front of them. "You can't just take her away like that!"

The man sighed heavily and pulled a business card out of his pocket, handing it to Dinah because he knew Lauren wouldn't take it.

"I'm just doing my job, ladies. Call the number on that card tomorrow and you can find out about your friend. For now, there's nothing we can do."

Lauren's knees crumpled beneath her and Dinah quickly grabbed her to keep her upright.

"Get the fuck out of our apartment," Dinah growled, staring the officer straight in the eye. Moments later, the door of the apartment slammed shut and Lauren fell to her knees on the floor in tears. Camila's cries could still be heard down the hallway and each one plunged another dagger into Lauren's chest.

Two sets of footsteps came heavily down the stairs.

"What the hell is going on?" Normani asked worriedly, sliding to her knees on the floor beside Lauren and trying to comfort the distraught girl. "Where's Camila?"

Normani's question only sent Lauren into another round of hysterics, causing the girl to slam her fist into the wall and sob violently into her hands. Ally stood frozen at the end of the staircase, taking it all in.

"I-I don't know," Dinah breathed, sliding down against the wall and sitting next to Lauren. "They came looking for Camila - three officers - and they said... they handcuffed her... and said something about murder."

"Murder?" Ally gasped, finally joining the group circled around Lauren on the floor. "Camila wouldn't hurt a fly!"

"That's what I said..." Dinah said quietly, shaking her head in disbelief and trying to keep her own tears back. All four roommates, not just Lauren, had grown exceptionally close to Camila in the time they'd spent together.

"They can't just... they can't... it's  _Camila_!" Lauren cried, lifting her head and leaning back on the wall next to Dinah, allowing herself to sink down and curl up into a ball, resting her head on her knees. "She's.... she's  _Camila_...."

"All we can do is call in the morning and see what they say," Dinah sighed, trying her best to be the voice of reason. "Fucking with the cops... won't get us very far."

"Murder..." Ally whispered under her breath, still trying to understand it herself. "Do you think-,"

"Camila would never do that!" Lauren snapped, lifting her head. Her eyes were blood shot and makeup was streaming down her face. She brought her hands up, grabbing fistfuls of her hair and letting out a noise of frustration. "She wouldn't..." Lauren whispered, letting her head fall back into her hands.

All the girls grew silent after Lauren's sudden outburst. Normani rubbed circles in Lauren's back to try and calm her down. Dinah and Ally exchanged glances, both as lost for words as Lauren was. None of them knew what to do.

Lauren's thoughts were racing. Camila had needed her. She'd promised to protect Camila and she'd failed. The girl had been screaming  _her_  name, and she hadn't been able to do anything about it.

"Oh my god...." Lauren whispered, lifting her head and staring blankly ahead of her. "Maybe... oh my god," she shook her head and felt her breathing speed up.

"What?" Normani glanced over at the distraught girl. Lauren took a deep breath, trying to contain her sobs as best as she could.

"The bruises, her... her uncle... he..." Lauren brought her hands to cup her mouth as she slowly connected the dots. "I need to go to Miami," she said, scrambling to her feet and grabbing the remains of her backpack from the floor.

Her other three roommates all exchanged glances, confused at Lauren's sudden outburst. Normani quickly got up, following her and putting a hand on the green eyed girl's shoulder.

"Miami?" the dark skinned girl asked cautiously.

Lauren nodded, grabbing her wallet and frantically counting her money. "I need to...  _shit_... seventy five... eighty," she cursed under her breath and restarting counting the bills. "They don't know... about Camila. They need to know... I need to... I need to know," Lauren stammered, curling her lip in concentration.

"That's not enough," she huffed, tightening her grip on the crumpled bills in her hand. She dropped to her knees, digging through the contents of her bag desperately.

Dinah exchanged glances with her two roommates before stepping forward and reaching into her back pocket. She pulled out a collection of bills and sifted through them before handing Lauren everything she had.

"Wha...?" Lauren stood up, looking at the bills in her hand. Normani and Ally both did the same, adding to the collection of money in Lauren's hand.

"Go," Dinah whispered, pulling Lauren into a hug before the girl could see the tears forming in her eyes. "I'll call you as soon as we find anything out." Ally and Normani both nodded in agreement.

"You guys..." Lauren's voice cracked and she quickly wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her hoodie. "Thank you so much," she shook her head and hugged her two other roommates before slipping the money into her wallet. "I owe you."

"You don't owe us anything," Normani spoke up. "We'll figure this out, okay? It's  _Camila_  we're talking about. We'll find a way."

"I hope so," Lauren whispered, biting her lip and looking around the room hesitantly.

"Get your ass on a plane, Jauregui," Dinah laughed sadly, nudging her friend's shoulder. Lauren swallowed hard, nodding and grabbing her bag.

"If I don't answer my phone, call me until I do," Lauren nodded, throwing her bag over her shoulder and heading towards the door. "I love you guys, okay? Thank you..."

All the other girls nodded. Dinah turned away to hide her tears and Lauren decided not to call her out on it, just this once. She slipped through the door of the apartment without another word.


	18. eighteen

Lauren crossed her arms, tapping her foot impatiently as she waited by baggage claim. Her plane had just landed. She was exhausted. No, she was more than exhausted. She hadn't been able to get a wink of sleep, though. Her mind was too preoccupied with thoughts of Camila.

Second degree murder.

At first, Lauren had thought the idea was utterly ridiculous. But she knew she needed to do this. There were too many unanswered questions and maybe by taking a trip back into Camila's past she could figure out what was going on.

Eventually she caught sight of her bag, throwing it over her shoulder and jogging out the large glass doors. It was then that she realized she had no clue where the hell she was going.

Still, Lauren was ignoring her feelings about the whole situation. She had a one track mind. She needed to find out what had happened to Camila. She needed answers to these questions.

She hailed a cab, sliding into the backseat and giving the driver the address of her old house. If she remembered correctly, Camila had only lived a few streets over from her.

Her head rested against the window as they drove, giving her time to replay the entire events prior in her head. The sound of Camila screaming out her name wouldn't leave her mind, and Lauren hadn't realized how painful it would feel.

Those officers... they didn't know how to treat Camila. She was _Camila_. Truthfully, only Lauren truly knew how Camila thought, how her brain worked. She winced at the thought of Camila being alone with all those strangers.

Suddenly, a house caught her eye. She knew the owner. Sydney. One of Camila's former cheerleader friends. A rush decision pushed Lauren to stop the cab, thanking the man and handing him a wad of bills, not bothering to count. She waited for him to drive away before turning and facing the house.

Moments later, she found herself on the porch, knocking gently on the door. She bit her lip when she heard footsteps approaching, and the door opened slowly to reveal an older version of the girl she had once known in high school. In pajamas.

Shit. Lauren quickly checked the time, only to realize it was barley past 8 in the morning on a Saturday.

"Lauren?" the girl sounded confused.

"Uh, hi," Lauren took a deep breath. Why was she still intimidated? They were out of high school, popularity didn't exist.

"Lauren the lesbian?"

Oh god. Lauren clenched her fists and chose to ignore the comment. "Can we... talk? It's about Camila."

She saw the girl's face drop and grew concerned. Sydney placed the small dog in her arms on the ground and stepped aside, opening the door and allowing Lauren to come inside.

"M'sorry about the whole lesbian comment," Sydney laughed nervously. Lauren just shrugged it off, standing awkwardly in the foyer of the large house and looking around. Sydney's parents had always been filthy rich.

"We can go sit in the living room," the blonde motioned for Lauren to follow her down the hall, leading her into a large room lined with windows. It was so clean that Lauren was afraid to touch anything. She sat down on the edge of a black leather couch, running a hand through her hair nervously.

"Do you want water or something? We have lemonade, too, and tea, if you l-," Sydney started, but Lauren quickly interrupted.

"I'm fine, I just..." Lauren shook her head. Sydney sat down, nodding for her to go on. "What do you know about Camila?"

Lauren watched as Sydney's face underwent a series of different emotions before her lips curled into a slight frown.

"She was my friend," the blonde shrugged. Lauren knew she was trying to play dumb and immediately put an end to it.

"You know what I'm talking about," Lauren raised an incriminating eyebrow at her. In fact, it worked. She was proud of herself, feeling power at being able to intimidate the girl who once made her high school life a living hell.

Sydney sighed and relaxed back into the couch, knowing they'd be there for a while. "What do you want to know?" she asked, dropping all hopes of making Lauren leave right away.

"Everything. From the day we graduated."

"Okay," Sydney sighed and thought for a moment.

_-_

**Flashback - First Day of Summer**

_"I'm not drinking, Scott," Camila stood next to the table lined with various drinks, already feeling uneasy. Even the smell of alcohol could put her on edge. Her boyfriend scoffed, already halfway done with his first cup. They'd only been there ten minutes and she wanted to leave._

_"Don't be such a wuss, Karla," her boyfriend chuckled, shoving a drink in her direction. She set it down on the table and shook her head._

_"I told you not to call me that," she mumbled._

_"C'mon, Karla. It's cute when you get frustrated."_

_"You shouldn't have a fucking girlfriend if all you want to do it pick on her and piss her off," Camila huffed, running a hand through her hair. Her heart was already pounding._

_She'd never been a partier. Sure, she was popular. But only because she was pretty and she could get away with whatever she wanted. Most of the time, at least._

_Camila rubbed her arm, feeling the bruises that had appeared there that night. She'd asked her uncle to go to the party. But unfortunately, he was already drunk out of his mind. He didn't take her 'disrespect' very well, and she ended up having to ice her bruises while hiding in the bathroom. The last place she wanted to be was here, but Scott had convinced her to sneak out._

_"Mila, c'mon."_

_The small girl felt a tug on her arm and turned around to find one of her best friends;_ _Sydney_ _, standing behind her._

_"I'm offering you a distraction, come on,"_ _Sydney_ _whispered, nodding towards Scott. Camila smiled thankfully, following the blonde girl outside and sitting on the stone wall of the patio._

_Camila liked to consider_ _Sydney_ _her best friend. Granted, if Camila wasn't a cheerleader she knew_ _Sydney_ _wouldn't give her a second look. But since she was, Camila tried to make the best of it._

_"You okay?"_ _Sydney_ _asked, noticing Camila's distant gaze. The smaller girl bit her lip, looking up at the other girl and nodding._

_"I snuck out," Camila sighed, shaking her head._

_"So?"_ _Sydney_ _laughed, taking a sip from her cup. "Your uncle won't care. He doesn't care about anything you do, right?"_

_Camila nodded reluctantly. "Right," she mumbled. Because really, no matter what she did, he always found an excuse to hit her. Especially when he was drunk. Camila was terrified to go home that night and possibly be caught._

_"Does he still drink a lot?"_ _Sydney_ _asked carefully. She knew about Camila's uncle after witnessing him lashing out on his niece at a sleepover._

_Camila swallowed hard and nodded._

_"Has he hurt you r-?" She was interrupted._

_"_ _Sydney_ _!"_

_Both girls turned to look at the door, where_ _Sydney_ _'s boyfriend was calling her. She glanced at Camila, who nodded for her to go on, eager to not have to answer her question. The blonde giggled, stumbling to her feet as the alcohol kicked in. Camila sighed, watching as she disappeared into the house._

_-_

"No one knows what she did for the rest of that party," Sydney explained, running a hand through her hair and looking down at her hands in her lap.

"So you knew about her uncle?" Lauren asked, finding it hard to picture Camila in that situation. The girl she knew now was so different that the girl Sydney had described.

Sydney nodded. "I slept over at her house one night and he came home drunk, and flipped out on her. She... she begged me not to tell. So I didn't."

Lauren clenched her fists but tried to remain calm. "What about Scott?" Sydney sighed and scooted back on the couch.

_-_

**Flashback - Later that Night**

_"Milaaaa," Scott whined, tugging on his girlfriend's arm._

_"No, Scott, I'm driving," Camila said firmly, keeping her feet planted to block her boyfriend from getting inside the driver's side of his truck. She was the only one at the party who hadn't gotten drunk that night. She hadn't even had a sip of anything._

_"Yeah, well it's my car."_

_She whimpered when she felt a tight hand grab her arm and yank her back into the street. Camila cowered back as she watched Scott slide into the driver's side of the car, slamming the door behind him. The window rolled down moments later._

_"Are you coming, or what?"_

_"You're drunk," Camila reiterated, biting her lip and taking a step forwards. She glanced around the front lawn, watching everyone else pile into their cars. There was no other way she could get home._

_"Loosen up, Mila," one of the girls in the other car called out. Camila sighed, realizing this was her only way home, and her only chance of not being caught by her uncle. She reluctantly crossed over to the passenger side, making sure to buckle her seatbelt._

_Scott pulled out onto the street, leaning forwards and narrowing his eyes to see the road through his blurred vision. Camila took a deep breath, telling herself to calm down._

_"Hey Scott!"_

_A truck pulled up next to them and revved the engine. Camila immediately put a hand on Scott's arm._

_"Don't," she warned._

_"You heard what they said, Karla," Scott chuckled, revving the engine back and glaring challengingly at the truck next to them. Camila noticed Sydney in the backseat, sticking her head out the window and laughing. "Loosen up."_

_Before Camila could respond, the car next to them took off down the road._

_"Those bastards," Scott huffed, slamming on the gas and making Camila jolt backwards in her seat. She grabbed the handle above the passenger side door and shook violently as the car tore off down the road._

_They raced around the block for a while, and when nothing bad happened, Camila calmed down slightly. A thought crossed her mind._

_"Were those girls from our chemistry class at the party?" she asked, biting her lip._

_"Nah, they took off for New York with the lesbian as soon as they got their diplomas," Scott scoffed, rounding a corner and throwing Camila into the wall. She groaned and clutched her side. "I guarantee you they'll be back within a month."_

_"You never know," Camila mumbled, grabbing the handle once more as the car accelerated further forwards._

_"I've got em'," he took one hand off the wheel and pointed to the car in front of them. Camila saw blonde hair waving in the wind, realizing Sydney was sticking her head out of the sunroof._

_Just as they were about to catch up to the speeding car, the car full of teenagers ahead of them made a last minute turn, making a complete 180 degree rotation, now racing off in the opposite direction.. Camila's eyes widened and she saw the determination on Scott's face._

_"Don't you d-," she started, but her voice was cut off when Scott threw the wheel to the left, causing the back end of their car to completely lose control. Camila was thrown into the passenger side door. The back of their car continued to spin, and Scott turned the wheel violently to try and gain his control back._

_It was no use, though. The back of the truck flew off the road, flipping the entire vehicle over and throwing them down into the ditch. The last thing Camila remembered was being thrust towards the front windshield._

_-_

"Oh my god," Lauren whispered, unable to fathom what that must have been like for Camila. She looked over at Sydney, who was nearly in tears, and was suddenly filled with rage. "You just _left_ her there?" she felt her voice grow deep in the back of her throat.

"I-I didn't know... none of us saw them wreck," Sydney sniffed and took a deep breath. "We just assumed they gave up and drove home."

Lauren grit her teeth and forced herself to take a long, deep breath to try and control her anger. "What happened to Scott?"

_-_

**Flashback - Scott's House - 1 Day After the Accident**

_Sydney knocked impatiently on the door, glancing back at her car and taking a deep breath. She'd just received the news that one of her best friends was in the hospital after a car accident. The driver of the car had yet to come forward, but Sydney knew exactly who to go to._

_Scott opened the door, furrowing his eyebrows when he saw the cheerleader on his doorstep. Before he had a chance to talk, Sydney pushed her way into his house and slammed the door behind him._

_"Do you have any idea what you've done?!" she yelled, feeling the anger boil in her stomach. She felt increasingly guilty for allowing Camila to go with him. She felt even guiltier for not being there when the accident happened. The scariest part, was that Sydney had no idea what condition Camila was in. All she knew was that her friend was in the hospital after a car accident._

_"What?" Scott mumbled, wiping his eyes. It was obvious he had just woken up._

_"You fucking idiot!" Sydney yelled, shoving Scott backwards. That woke him up quickly, and he held his hand up in front of him defensively._

_"Woah, woah, what did I do this time?" he chuckled, running a hand through his hair._

_Sydney had to force herself to stay still, instead of pummeling the older boy to the ground. "You really don't know what you did?" Scott shook his head, still completely clueless._

_Deciding against saying anything else, Sydney whipped out her phone and showed him the text from their school, asking them to keep Camila in their thoughts. Scott's eyes widened._

_"Do you even remember?" Sydney hissed._

_"I thought I walked home," Scott shrugged, handing her back the phone. Sydney was infuriated at how casual he was acting about this._

_"You're an asshole, Scott, did you know that?" Sydney growled, shoving him backwards once more. "Do you even care what you did to her? What if she died? It should've been you. You don't even have a fucking scratch on you."_

_"My arm sorta hurts," Scott shrugged. That was it. Sydney punched him straight in the jaw, sending him stumbling backwards._

_"When the police get a hold of you, you're gonna be in a lot of shit," Sydney huffed, clenching and unclenching her fist before storming out of his house and slamming the door behind her. Her next stop was the police station, where she told them everything she knew._

_When the police went to Scott's house. He was gone. From the appearance of his bedroom, he had packed a bag and fled. No one had a clue where he was._

_Sydney was infuriated. But now, she was growing concerned about Camila. She had just assumed it was a fender bender, and her friend had a few stitches, at the worst. Little did she know._

_"When's Camila getting discharged?" she asked one of the officers while she sat at the police station, waiting on a report back to see if Scott had been found._

_The officer chuckled, as if she'd made a joke._

_"What?" Sydney asked, placing one of her hands on his desk. Her eye landed on a folder with the words 'Medical Report', printed in bold black letters. Before she could think, she grabbed the folder and opened it._

_The officer snatched it out of her hands moments later, but the damage had already been done. She'd already seen the pictures of the completely totaled car, and the small girl lying nearly lifeless in a hospital bed, connected to all sorts of wires and machines. She felt physically sick._

_"Oh my god," her voice came out barley a whisper and she had to sit down. This was a million times worse than she thought it would be. "I need to go see her," she shook her head and stood up, running out of the police station before someone could convince her otherwise._

_Twenty minutes later, she burst through the front doors of the hospital and ran to the front desk._

_"Camila Cabello?" she asked, breathless. "Where's her room? I need to see her."_

_The nurse typed something into the computer, furrowing her eyebrows at the screen and typing something else. Sydney tapped her foot anxiously._

_"Her guardian won't allow her to have visitors at this time," the nurse continued looking at something on the screen. "In fact, he won't even allow anyone to have contact with her besides himself."_

_Sydney slammed her palms down onto the counter, feeling completely powerless. She heard footsteps behind her and froze when she realized who it was. Tom Maverick, also known as Camila's uncle._

_"Mr. Tom, you have to let me go see Camila," she said breathlessly, turning around and clasping her hands together. He just stared blankly at her._

_"Who are you?" he slurred. Sydney smelled the alcohol on his breath and grew increasingly furious._

_"Sydney Marx, I'm Camila's friend," she tried her best to remain calm._

_"Oh good, I was looking for one of you," he spat, leaning down and looking her straight in the eye. "You stay away from my niece, you hear me? You and all your little friends, too. Or you'll regret it."_

_Sydney took a step backwards, realizing she was shaking slightly._

_"But-," she started._

_"You know what I'm capable of," he glared at her. "Get out, and don't you dare get any ideas."_

_Unsure of what else to do, Sydney ran out the door of the hospital and collapsed into tears in the front seat of her car._

_-_

"Please tell me someone got to go see her," Lauren's voice rasped as she tried to hold in her anger. "Did you even tell anyone about what her uncle did to her?"

Sydney shook her head and sighed. "When she got out of the hospital me and some of her teammates tried to go to her house and see her, but he answered the door and threatened to call the cops if we came back."

Lauren stood up with her fists balled at her sides. "And you just let her stay there? Knowing what he did to her _before_ she had brain damage?!"

Sydney quickly stood up and held her hands up as if she was surrendering. "I know, I know," she sighed, shaking her head. "I just... listen-I already beat myself up over it every day, you don't have to tell me how stupid I am. I already know."

"Good," Lauren huffed, running a hand through her hair and thinking for a moment. "So... did she really..."

"Kill him?" Sydney finished her sentence. Lauren nodded slowly. Both girls sat down once more and the blonde ran a hand through her hair and took a deep breath.

"Honestly, I think so," Sydney bit her lip. "I don't know... how she _is_ , now, but he could get pretty violent. What if she shot him in self defense?"

"She shot him?" Lauren raised an eyebrow. All she knew what that Camila was charged for murder and that the prime victim would be her uncle.

Sydney pulled out her phone, typing something and then reading off of the news article. " _Gunshot wound to the chest, fired from less than 12 inches away,_ " she bit her lip and set her phone back down.

"Oh my god," Lauren brought her hands up and hung her head down. "What're they gonna do to her?"

"You don't think they'll send her to jail, do you?" Sydney said after a few minutes of tense silence.

Lauren sighed, standing up and shaking her head. She had to suck it up for now. "Not if I have anything to say about it," she said, looking around and biting her lip. "You don't mind giving me a ride to her house?"

"There's no use, they've got the place covered in caution tape and warning signs."

"Then you'll give me a ride to the woods _behind_ her house so I can sneak in," Lauren nodded her head, grabbing her bag and walking towards the door. She wasn't going to accept no for an answer.

"Fine," Sydney sighed, searching around for her keys and jogging to catch up with Lauren. As they walked to her car, questions began circulating in her head.

 


	19. nineteen

"How do you know Camila?" the blonde asked once they were on the road. Lauren shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"She's my... uh," Lauren cleared her throat and looked out the window. "My girlfriend."

The car nearly ran off the road when Sydney heard Lauren's words. "Your _what_?"

"Girlfriend," Lauren bit her lip.

"Wait, but didn't she like... read your texts to the entire school and out you?"

Lauren nodded.

They pulled up next to the woods behind Camila's house and Sydney parked the car, signaling for Lauren to wait for a moment.

"And you're sure she's not just going along with it because she doesn't... understand?" the blonde asked carefully. Lauren grew confused. "Like... she had a _boyfriend_ before, not a _girl_ friend, y'know?"

Lauren bit her lip as the thought crossed her mind. She didn't have an answer. Sighing, the dark haired girl shook her head and exited the car. "I'm not worried about that right now," she said, leaning down so she could see the other girl. "My main concern is getting her back home safe. Thanks for the ride, but you can go now."

She closed the door and stormed off without another word. Lauren was reminded of why she left this town. Everyone was so close minded. She heard Sydney's car speed off just as she reached the beginning of the woods. The back of Camila's small brick home could be seen through the trees, and Lauren wasted no time in pushing her way through the brush.

There was caution tape draped all across the back door, as well as the windows. They really hadn't left anything up to chance.

Then something caught Lauren's eye. The storm cellar. Glancing both ways to make sure no one was watching her, she crossed the yard and pulled on the handle of the cellar. Shit. Locked.

She was desperate now. Desperate for answers. She kicked the door in frustration, about to turn back around when she heard a cracking noise. The hinges.

Lauren quickly kicked the door again. And again. And again, until the hinge of the door snapped off and hung down. She quickly crawled down into the cellar, pulling out her phone and turning on the flashlight.

Luckily, the cellar seemed to be connected to the house. Lauren climbed the small metal ladder, pushing the trap door above her open. She pulled herself up, shining the flashlight around and realizing she was in the garage. Mission accomplished.

Quietly, she entered the house. Right away, she was greeted with a scene that made her gasp. The white tile floor of their kitchen was stained with blood. Glass was shattered everywhere, and Lauren was thankful she wore boots with thick soles.

Dinah had mentioned something about how there had been glass in Camila's feet when she showed up at their apartment. She couldn't have possibly fled straight to their apartment after this happened, could she? Lauren bit her lip.

All she knew, and all she was sure of, was that Camila wouldn't kill someone unless it was absolutely necessary.

The kitchen reeked of dried blood, and Lauren headed towards the rickety wooden staircase. Each step felt as if the floor would give out any second. The house was a mess. No one would suspect that mega-popular cheerleader Camila Cabello lived here.

She found Camila's bedroom right away. Bright yellow. Lauren bit her lip to hide the smile, realizing that some things really hadn't changed.

Bumping the door open with her hip, Lauren took a moment to study Camila's old bedroom. The walls were yellow, the same yellow that Camila still adored. The same color as the hoodie Lauren had given to her.

Her bed was a mess, and books were lined neatly along her shelves. Lauren wondered how long Camila had lived here after the accident.

Kneeling down, something caught her eye underneath the bed. She lay down and grabbed the box, pulling it out and examining it. The words 'High School Memories' were written on top in black marker, and it was dated the date of their graduation. The date of Camila's accident. The day Lauren had left for New York.

It made Lauren's heart drop. Camila must have done this before the party. Suddenly, a part of her felt extremely guilty for snooping through her things. She tried to tell herself that Camila would have wanted her to do this. Camila would want her to understand.

Slowly, Lauren lifted the lid from the box and giggled when she saw what was inside. A small, yellow stuffed monkey. A bow from cheerleading, striped in her school colors. A handful of string friendship bracelets. A report card.

Lauren unfolded the report card, scanning it over carefully. Straight A's all year. Damn. Lauren had just assumed Camila was your typical uneducated cheerleader that only cared about painting her nails.

She slipped the report card back in the box just as she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She answered it quickly, hoping it was Dinah with good news.

"Hello?" she bit her lip, standing up and sitting on Camila's bed.

"Lauren? It's Dinah."

"What's going on?" Lauren quickly replied, tapping her foot nervously.

"Camila has trial in a week, they're saying she... killed her uncle..."

"I know," Lauren sighed. "I think she did."

"You _what_?!"

"Yeah," the green eyed girl took a deep breath and composed her words. "He was an alcoholic, he was abusive, and when she got in the accident... I just think, if he was this bad to her before, things would only get worse after she had a brain injury."

There was silence on the other line and then a long sigh of realization from Dinah. "They're holding her there until her trial... I-I don't know what's going to happen to her."

Lauren shivered of the thought of Camila in a prison cell. It was utterly ridiculous. "We just need to prove it was in self defense, right?"

"We talk to her lawyer on Monday," Dinah explained. "That's when we need to give them as much information as possible that will help her."

"What about evidence?" Lauren glanced down at the shoebox.

"Evidence?"

"Like proof that he was abusive or something," Lauren explained. In the bottom of the shoebox sat a leather bound journal, and she bent down to pick it up, turning it over in her hands.

"I mean, yeah, that'd help," Dinah finally spoke. Lauren nodded and placed the journal in her lap.

"Great," she bit her lip. "Call me if you know anything else, okay?"

"Got it, be safe, okay?" Dinah's voice was laced with concern. Lauren could tell she was just as worried as she was.

"Yes ma'am," she chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. "You too, okay? I'll be home as soon as I find what I need."

The girls said their goodbyes and Lauren sat her phone on the bed. She looked at the leather journal in her hands, running her fingers over the worn edges. Once she opened this, she knew there was no going back.

After taking a deep breath, she flipped to the first page of her journal.

_It's Camila. Again._

_Uncle Tom took my old journal on Christmas because I was writing in the living room, and he threw it in the fireplace. I mean, I guess that's better than him taking it and reading it. I'm sure he'd get a kick out of all the shit I said about him in there._

_I don't understand why he hates me so much. I mean, what happened to my parents wasn't my fault. I didn't ask for them to go out that night. I didn't ask for the road to be icy. The last thing I wanted was to lose them._

_But apparently it's easier for him to blame a six year old instead of coming to terms with the fact that his sister is dead._

_He hit me again today. I was an idiot and accidentally forgot to turn on the dishwasher last night, so he hit me and then made me wash them all by hand._

_School is alright, I guess. Scott is Scott. I know I've been dating him for a while, but I keep feeling pressured to feel something towards him. But... I don't. He's just like a good friend. Sometimes he's not even that, though._

_I'll write tomorrow. It's the first day at school after winter break. Wish me luck._

_\- Camila_

Lauren traced her fingers over Camila's handwriting, trying to burn it into her brain. Camila's parents must have died in a car accident, she realized. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she flipped to the next page.

_Do you ever see someone who is sad and it makes you more attracted to them?_

_That probably sounds really twisted, oh my god, just let me explain._

_I wrote about this in my old journal, but since that's now just ash in the fireplace, I'll explain it again in case future Camila doesn't remember._

_There's this girl in my grade, Lauren._

Lauren's hands froze and she felt her heart speed up. She scooted back on the bed and continued reading.

_Her dad and Uncle Tom work in the same field, and their businesses were merging. They were supposed to be partners, but Uncle Tom hates all people, so he wanted to get rid of her dad somehow._

_I guess that's where I came in. I got home from school one day and he pulled me aside and told me I had to do something to his daughter. Lauren. I was supposed to start a rumor or something to make her hate me, so in return, her dad would hate Uncle Tom. And knowing her dad, he wouldn't want to work with my uncle. In some twisted way, my uncle would end up getting the job by himself and getting paid even more because of it._

_I didn't really know this Lauren girl too well. I mean, she was super pretty. I had nothing against her, you know? But if I didn't listen to him... god I don't even know what he'd do. So I did it._

_I don't even know what happened. I picked up her phone and these messages were there about her being gay... so I read them. It's all a blur because afterwards I felt so sick that I went to the bathroom and threw up. I hate myself. I hate myself for doing that to someone._

_Now, it's our senior year, and she still hates me. I don't blame her._

_There's one tiny problem now and that's the fact that I think I have feelings for her._

The journal fell out of Lauren's hands and she had to dive forwards to grab it before she lost her place. She took a deep breath, not being able to believe the words she had just read. She slowly leaned down and continued reading.

_Just let me explain, okay? I see her walking around the hallways... and she just looks so vulnerable. Like I said before, somehow it made me more attracted to her. Like seeing that she was human and she had emotions made her more real._

_And I don't even know, because she's a girl. But when I think about it, when I look at her, the things I feel are totally different than when I look at Scott. And not even sexual feelings, either. Like I just want to hug her. Or hold her hand. Or kiss her._

_Oh my god. What am I going to do? I need a friend. A real one. I just need someone to talk to me, someone who will listen._

"I would've been that friend," Lauren whispered, tracing her fingers across the curly letters.

_I don't even know if I'm gay, or if it's just Lauren, or what. But you know, the universe does a great job of fucking things up for me because the one girl I want is also the girl that hates me more than anything in the world. I don't blame her though, what I did to her is unforgivable._

_Shit. Uncle Tom just got home. I'll write more later._

_\- Camila_

Lauren sat on the bed in utter shock. Camila... the _old_ Camila, had developed feelings for her. She wondered if Camila still remembered any of that. This changed everything for her. What Sydney said surely couldn't be true, because Camila had been attracted to a girl before the accident. A girl that just so happened to be Lauren.

She took a deep breath and turned the page.

_I'm gay._

_I am gay. Camila is gay. Camila Cabello is gay. I think. Oh my god, I don't know._

_I saw Lauren in the hallway today. She was wearing yellow. My favorite color. God, it looks even better on her. Maybe it's my favorite color because she's the only one who can make a yellow sweater look attractive._

_She's in my chemistry class. It's the only class we have together. We're in the same lab group, too. I try to be nice to her, I really do. Part of me wants to tell her why I did what I did, but what if she tells her dad? I can't risk it. I wish I could, but I just can't._

_She sucks at Chemistry, though._

Lauren raised an eyebrow questioningly.

_I mean, I think she tries. But she really just sucks. We have to put our papers into our group folders at the end of class and it's my job to turn them in to the teacher. So I may or may not change her answers for her so she doesn't fail. I mean, come on! It's the least I can do._

The green eyed girl bit her lip, running a hand through her hair. And all this time she'd believed she was just really good at Chemistry. Good thing she didn't go to college for science.

_Uncle Tommy hit me today. Well, after he threw an empty beer bottle at me. Luckily it missed my head by a mile cause his aim is shit when he's drunk. I asked him if I could borrow his car so I could go out and buy the supplies I needed for a project we had due the next day._

_Bad idea, obviously. He flipped out on me, threw the beer bottle, called me irresponsible, and then pinned me up against the wall and punched me in the face._

_Fun, right? Yeah, not._

_I don't know what to write about anymore, so I guess I'll see you later._

_\- Camila_

Lauren's heart was slowly breaking. Knowing that she could've helped Camila deal with all of this instead of having her deal with it on her own. She could have been there for her. There were still more pages filled with writing, and Lauren continued to read.

_Uncle Tom hates Scott._

_He always tries to set me up with the student interns from his job. My question is, how does he still have a job? Haven't they realized how much of a scumbag he is?_

_Anyway, he brought two of the interns home last night to work on one of their projects. He made me come downstairs and talk to them, which wasn't that bad, until he started trying to get one of them to ask me on a date. He was literally like - "You can have her! Do whatever the hell you want with her, I don't care."_

_None of them did anything about it, either. Maybe if one of them would have stood up for me things would have turned out different._

_After they left, I went to go back up to my bedroom and hide as I always do, but he grabbed me and pinned me against the wall and started yelling about how I don't "put myself out there" and that I choose horrible boyfriends. I don't even remember. But I remember I was just so tired and exhausted that I ended up screaming back at him and somehow the words "I'm gay" slipped out._

_Long story short, he beat the shit out of me. When I tried to run upstairs, he caught up to me in the office, and grabbed his gun out of one of the drawers. (Which I didn't even know was there, to be honest)_

_He started swinging it around and threatening me with it. I was scared to death. Eventually he let me go, and I made sure to take the bullets out of the gun once he fell asleep._

_And now I'm here. And I'm thinking about everything he said to me. About how I was an abomination. A disgrace. A mistake. I could list them on and on._

_I don't know what I'm gonna do anymore._

_\- Camila_

Lauren brought her hand up to face and felt the hot tears on her cheeks. She wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. She had to make it through the rest of this journal. Hopefully this was more than enough to prove Camila's act had been in self defense.

_Tomorrow is the last day of senior year._

Lauren's heart dropped in her chest as soon as she read the first line. She immediately knew this would be Camila's last entry. The thought that Camila wrote this having no idea what was to come made her feel sick to her stomach.

_I want to apologize to Lauren. I wish I could. But I'm too scared. I heard Uncle Tom loading his gun again last night. If I take the bullets out again, he's sure to catch on. I shouldn't be terrified to live in my own house, should I?_

_Anyway, I'm feeling very nostalgic today. One more day, and then I'm free from the public education system. Free to start the rest of my life. Free to move out._

_Part of me is hoping that Lauren will stay here and go to community college, just like I am. Maybe we can be friends or something. I'd really like that. I really like her._

_But I doubt she'll want to stay here. I've made her life miserable, she'll probably want to get as far away from me as possible._

_That's not all, though. I know she's not going to stay here, in this shitty little town, because she doesn't belong here. I might have looked through some of her artwork while me and the cheer squad were hanging up posters in the art room. She's amazingly talented._

_If only Uncle Tom had picked to work with someone else... who had a less attractive daughter. Then maybe I could get to know Lauren. We all know that's never going to happen._

_\- Camila_

Thinking what she had just read was the last entry, Lauren went to close the book, but noticed the indented writing on the next page. She bit her lip when she saw the date on the next entry. The date of the accident.

_It's 4 am. I'm graduating today. Everything is going to change, and hopefully for the better._

"Everything sure changed alright," Lauren whispered, fighting back another set of tears.

_Maybe I'll really get my life together after this. I mean, everyone thinks I have it together, but I really don't. If only they'd look past the whole 'perfect cheerleader' image they seem to have of me. But no one cares enough to._

_You know what makes my day even better? Our graduation gowns are blue and yellow. Which means, Lauren will be in yellow today. My favorite girl in my favorite color._

_Scott wants me to go to a party tonight. I don't even want to go, cause everyone's going to be drinking. But I guess I have to. I need to loosen up, right? Plus, it's the last party I'll be going to in a while._

_I need to break up with Scott, I know. I just haven't found the right time. Plus I'm also slightly terrified of what may become of me if I do. He doesn't have a good reputation with ex-girlfriends._

_If I'm reading this in the future, I hope I'm happy. I hope I have a warm home, a comfy bed, good friends who will stick up for me. I hope I'm safe. Away from toxic people like my uncle. I hope I can be myself. I hope I don't have to hide who I am just to fit in. And maybe, I hope I'm in love. And maybe if I get really lucky, I'll be in love with Lauren. But hell, I don't deserve someone as good as her. She deserves the world, and I can't give her that._

"You already have," the girl on the bed whispered. Lauren didn't even try to fight the tears anymore, they fell freely. Maybe Camila was happy. Lauren read over the list again. Camila did have a warm home, a comfy bed, and good friends. She was safe. She was away from her uncle. And she definitely didn't try to hide who she was any more. And maybe, just maybe, she was in love.

But all those things would be thrown to shit if Lauren couldn't get Camila back.

She closed the journal, slipping it into her backpack. Using her phone, she snapped a few pictures of Camila's room, just so she could remember it. Just as she turned to leave, something caught her eye.

A small bump underneath the covers on the bed.

Slowly, she peeled away the covers and giggled when she saw what was underneath. A yellow (of course), stuffed puppy. It was ragged, and patched in some places. It had sure seen better days, but Lauren could tell it was beloved to whoever owned it. She felt a smile spread across her face when she imagined giving it to Camila.

If she ever got the chance to.

Lauren took a deep breath, stuffing the toy into her backpack along with the journal. This would have to be enough evidence, right? She jogged down the stairs, grimacing at the blood stain on the floor.

Her phone rang just as she crawled out of the storm cellar, standing up and brushing the dirt off of her knees. She quickly answered it, jogging into the woods for cover.

"Hey, what's up?" she said, catching her breath and leaning against a tree.

"Dinah wanted me to call and check up on you," Ally replied on the other line. Lauren smoothed out her shirt and began walking back through the woods.

"I just left Camila's house," Lauren answered truthfully. "I've got what I needed, so I'm coming home."

"That was quick," the other girl answered.

"I don't want to stay here any longer than I need to," Lauren began walking down the sidewalk, hoping she could catch the bus back to the airport if she walked fast enough. "Too many bad memories."

"What about your family?"

"I don't want to have to explain all of this to them right now," Lauren sighed. Luckily, her friend understood. It wouldn't be the easiest thing for Lauren to explain her relationship to Camila to her parents, who knew exactly what Camila had done to her in high school.

Lauren and Ally talked for a while longer until Lauren finally reached the bus stop. She sat down once she and Ally finished talking. Millions of questions were still buzzing around her head at light speed. Most importantly, what was going to happen to Camila?

 


	20. twenty

Lauren pulled Camila's journal out of her backpack. She traced the worn leather cover, wondering how many times Camila had held this same journal in her hands. It was hard for her to grasp the fact that the same girl who had written in this journal was the one Lauren had kissed only a few days ago.

Her phone buzzed a minute or so later, and Lauren furrowed her eyebrows when she realized it was a Facebook message from Sydney.

**Sydney Marx: Hey, I just remembered something. The entire cheerleading squad had to come back to the school gym the day after graduation to clean out our lockers. Camila never got her things. If I remember correctly, they still should be in a box next to the Lost and Found in the library. Just thought you'd want to know.**

It was worth a try, Lauren decided. She pushed herself up from her spot on the curb and began walking in the direction of the school. It would be a long walk, but she didn't feel like waiting for the bus. She needed something to occupy her time.

Over half an hour later, her old high school finally came into view. Lauren cringed at the sight, remembering all the bad memories she'd associated with the building. Swallowing her pride, she slowly realized that no one was at the school. It was a Saturday.

Remembering something, Lauren jogged around the back of the school and found the loading docks. The food was delivered to the cafeteria on trucks, which would park at the loading dock and be carried into the kitchen. Lucky for Lauren, she'd gotten detention in her sophomore year and had to help carry crates back and forth. And now, she remembered the code they'd used to unlock the door.

She tapped the numbers in on the keypad and hit enter. Moments later, there was a low beeping noise and the click of the lock. Lauren glanced around her one last time before opening the door and slipping inside.

The library was on the opposite side of the school from the kitchen. She jogged her way there, breathless by the time she reached the rows and rows of bookshelves. A large sign read 'Lost and Found' in the back corner.

Once Lauren made it there, she found the box Sydney had been talking about. She knelt down next to it, biting her lip and hesitating for a moment. Did she really want to do this? What if she found something even worse than what she had already found?

Doing her best to dismiss her concerns, Lauren slowly lifted the flaps of the box and peered inside. She pulled out a packet of papers stapled together, eyeing them curiously.

> _"If you were to write the story of your life until now, what would you title it and why?"_

Lauren furrowed her eyebrows when she read the heading of the paper. Upon further inspection, she realized it was a college entrance essay. This should be interesting. Lauren took a deep breath, preparing herself for what was to come.

> _My parents died when I was six. Whenever I tell people I can still remember them like it was yesterday, they look at me like I'm crazy. But I do. I still remember little things about them. I remember my dad always had paint on his hands, and I remember my mother would always scold him for getting turpentine on his new clothes. He was a painter, and she was an accountant._
> 
> _It's funny, because no one would have expected them to fall in love. The woman who loved numbers, and the man who could barley tell time. But apparently they did. I don't know much about their past. I don't have any family to ask questions, besides my uncle. But he can get very evasive when I try and discover information about my parents, so I've given up._
> 
> _The one thing I remember the most about them, though, was how much they loved color. Especially my father. I would always sit on a stool in his studio and watch him mix his paints together. The best days were the days that he would set up a smaller easel for me, and I would get to use finger paints. I always tried to paint like him, but I could never quite get it right. So I'd start over, and smear a new piece of paper with yellow._
> 
> _At that time, yellow was my favorite color because it was the color of the sun, and macaroni and cheese. My mom took a sewing class just so she could sew me a stuffed yellow dog for my birthday. I named him Sunny. I still have him._
> 
> _The meaning of the color changed for me one night in the dead of winter. The day before Christmas, actually. My parents had taken us up to_ _Colorado_ _to spend the holidays at a ski resort. I remember seeing snow for the first time, and being scared of it. Obviously I grew to love it, though._
> 
> _It was Christmas Eve. I remember because my parents told me I would have to go to bed early since Santa was coming. There was a daycare at the resort, and my parents dropped me off there right after dinner. I was confused at the time, and they never told me where they were going. I would later find out that they had forgotten one of the most important items on my Christmas list - a yellow princess dress._
> 
> _I remember one of the workers at the resort coming into the room looking very distraught, and taking me out to her car. She took me to the hospital, and then I was handed off to another nurse. She told me that my parents had been in an accident, and that my aunt and uncle were coming to pick me up._
> 
> _I wouldn't stop asking her questions, and eventually another woman came and sat with me in a small room. It was yellow, I remember. And I remember feeling uneasy, because the room was painted such a happy color, but everything felt so sad._
> 
> _In that same yellow room, the woman explained to me that my parents had been in a car accident, and that my mother had died instantly. I don't remember crying. I don't think I understood._
> 
> _Apparently I was 'handling it well', and I was allowed to go back to see my father. All of his injuries had been internal, so he looked perfectly fine to me. I remember running out of the nurse's arms and shaking him on the hospital bed, trying to wake him up. They had to drag me out of the bedroom._
> 
> _I was supposed to wait in a chair in the corner of the waiting room while my aunt and uncle flew all the way to_ _Colorado_ _to pick me up. I had no other family on either side._
> 
> _I remember watching the daughter of the other driver in the accident being reunited with her parents. I watched her run and leap into her father's arms, giggling happy. I watched her mother, who had a pink cast on her arm, cry and talk about how thankful she was that they were alright._
> 
> _And I remember being so brutally jealous of them. Because they were talking about how they would go out and get hot cocoa and go home and wait for Santa to come. All while I sat in the corner, wondering why her mother got to live, and why her father wasn't hurt. At that time, I wished I could trade places with her. She had on bright yellow snow boots._
> 
> _Finally, my aunt and uncle came to pick me up. Aunt Susie was my favorite person besides my parents. My dad always called her a 'Southern Belle.' She had grown up on a ranch in_ _Montana_ _, and everything made her smile. She was always picking flowers and keeping them in her kitchen._
> 
> _When I was little, my mom and dad always told me that Uncle Tommy didn't like kids too much. I spent most of my time with Aunt Susie, anyway, so I didn't really mind._
> 
> _They took me home, and I remember them showing me around the house and telling me where everything was. I thought it was funny at the time, because I'd been in their house millions of times before._
> 
> _But then they showed me my new bedroom, which Aunt Susie said we could paint yellow. And I remember crying because I realized I wasn't going to get to go home._
> 
> _The day of my parent's funeral, I made the decision that I hated funerals with all of my heart. First, because their funeral just so happened to be the day of my seventh birthday. And second, because I hated the color black, and I had to wear a black dress. I cried when I had to put it on. Uncle Tom started yelling at me, but Aunt Susie made him stop, and told him that I was allowed to be sad, because it was a sad day. On the way to a funeral, she picked a daisy and let me pin it to my dress so it wouldn't be as sad-looking._
> 
> _I didn't like having to go to a new school. I had to make all new friends, and I wasn't very good at making friends. I never was. When I introduced myself to the class, my teacher asked me what my favorite color was. I lied and said pink, because that's what all the other girls had said. Plus, I wanted so badly to hate the color yellow. But I didn't._
> 
> _In fifth grade, I met my favorite teacher to date. Mrs. Browne always wore bright colored dresses, and always made sure to tell our whole class just how important we were to her. I'm thankful I had a support system at school, because at home, things were getting hard._
> 
> _In the second month of the school year, Aunt Susie got very sick. At first, everyone thought it was the flu. She went to the doctor, got her medicine, and in a few days, she was back to normal._
> 
> _She got sick again about a week later. This time, the medicine didn't work. It was the middle of the night, and she got really bad. Uncle Tommy wanted to take her to the hospital, but she refused. She told him she could wait until the morning._
> 
> _She couldn't wait until the morning._
> 
> _I remember skipping into her room to wake her up. I was excited because I was in the school play that day, and she had promised to help me with my makeup. I was only going to be a tree, but I was still excited._
> 
> _Next to her bed, she had a little collection of buttercups and dandelions I had picked for her that summer. They were wilted and rotting, but she'd never bothered to take them out of her room. It made me feel special._
> 
> _When she wouldn't wake up, I started screaming for my uncle. I kept shaking her, trying to get her to open her eyes. By now, I understood well enough what death looked like. But for some reason, I had the overwhelming need to do something to try and save her._
> 
> _That was the first time my uncle hit me. He tried to pull me off of her, but I wouldn't let go. I just kept shaking her and screaming for her to wake up. And then he slapped me. Hard. Across the face. I started crying even harder, but he ignored me and picked her up and took her to his car. The hospital told us she had been dead long before I tried to wake her up._
> 
> _I didn't go back to school for a week. Mrs. Browne and my whole entire class signed a card for me, and I remember it had a bright yellow bird on the front. I kept it in my bedroom for good luck._
> 
> _Uncle Tom hit me for the second time on the Sunday night before I went back to school. I couldn't find my backpack, and I started panicking because Aunt Susie had always packed my lunches, and she'd always helped me put on my shoes, and I remember listing all the things that I couldn't do without her in my head._
> 
> _I was running around the house looking for my backpack, and my uncle kept yelling at me to be quiet. But, I was more focused on finding my backpack. I ran into his office and started going through all the cabinets, and I must have knocked a stack of papers on his desk over._
> 
> _The next thing I know, he grabbed my arm and slapped me right across the face. I remember seeing a beer bottle on his desk, and asking him if he was an alcoholic. We had just been learning about alcoholism in school, which is why I asked. That got him really mad, and he threatened to hit me again. Luckily, I ran back upstairs._
> 
> _It didn't stop there, though. It continued all through high school, and it only got worse. Luckily, I'm getting out of his house soon._
> 
> _So if I had to title my life story, it would be 'Yellow.' Because for some reason, that color sticks out in all of my memories. My cheer uniform for high school was yellow. My prom dress was yellow. When my first boyfriend asked me out, I was wearing a yellow and white headband. The only Christmas present my uncle has ever gotten me was a yellow pair of earrings, when I was thirteen. They're not the prettiest things ever, but I hold them close to my heart because he gave them to me._
> 
> _I got my first kiss from a boy with yellow chains on his braces. I drank my first beer on a worn, yellow couch in my neighbor's basement. I realized I was gay when I saw the girl of my dreams wearing a yellow sundress._
> 
> _To me, yellow is a happy color. You can't look at the color yellow and be sad for very long. I guess it's my mantra in life. I try and wear a smile no matter how much I'm hurting, because eventually things should get better._
> 
> _[CAMILA - PUT A CONCLUSION HERE BEFORE YOU SEND THIS IN, DUMBASS. OH AND ALSO THERE'S LEFTOVER CHIPOTLE IN THE FRIDGE DON'T FORGET THAT]_

Lauren giggled when she read the note Camila had put on her unfinished essay, as she wiped the tears from her eyes. She suddenly had a lot more insight into Camila's childhood.

She sat there for a few minutes, reading the paper over and over. It broke her heart to know everything Camila had been though. She didn't deserve it. Lauren wished she would have known this back in high school. Maybe she could have helped her and made sure the accident never happened.

Sighing, Lauren folded the papers in half and slipped them into her bag. She fished around in the box, only finding a collection of hair ties, math worksheets, and a pair of tennis shoes.

Deciding nothing else was important enough to bring with her, she walked back around the school and slipped out the same door by the loading dock. She made sure to lock it before using her phone to call a taxi. She shuffled her feet anxiously at the front of the school while she waited.

A little over an hour later, she found herself waiting for her plane to board. Handing her ticket to the woman in uniform, she quickly found a window seat on the plane and sat down. She fell asleep almost instantly, exhausted from having barley any sleep in the past two days.

She was jolted awake by a nightmare. Glancing around to make sure no one had seen her miniature freak out, she took a deep breath and held her hand to her chest. Her heart was beating rapidly.

In her dream, Camila had been in jail, and been getting messed around with by a group of inmates. Lauren was there, but she couldn't talk or move, she could only watch. Camila kept calling to her for help but Lauren couldn't move. The idea that Camila could possibly end up in a jail scared Lauren to death.

She forced herself to take a deep breath, wiping the tears of frustration that had formed in her eyes. All Lauren wanted was to get Camila back, to rid the smaller girl of her past and prove to her that all people weren't as cruel as her uncle. Camila had been through hell and back, and didn't deserve a second of it. It baffled Lauren that somehow Camila still retained her same childish innocence.

The rest of her flight was spent staring longingly out the window. What was Camila doing this very second? She must be scared out of her mind. Lauren wondered if she had a change of clothes, or had even had something to eat that day. Her worrying drove her insane, until finally the jolt of the plane landing snapped her out of her thoughts.

She waited impatiently as the passengers began to file out of the plane. Sending her roommates a quick text to let her know she had landed, she made her way to baggage claim and collected her things. A while and a lot of waving later, she finally managed to hail a cab.

She made it back to the apartment around dinnertime, thanking the taxi driver and trudging into the lobby with her bags. The elevator ride up to her floor felt like an eternity, but she finally turned her key in the door and stepped into the apartment. All three girls were sitting on the couch, and Dinah was the first to get up.

The minute Dinah's arms were around Lauren in a tight hug, Lauren burst into tears. Soon she was surrounded with hugs on all sides by all of her roommates, who looked exhausted as well.

"She doesn't deserve any of this," Lauren whispered. The group hug finally pulled away and she was led over to the couch.

"Did you find anything out?" Ally asked, giving Lauren a reassuring squeeze on her shoulder. Sighing, Lauren nodded and dug around in her bag. She pulled out the journal and packet of papers, holding them close.

"Her uncle was abusive," Lauren bit her lip and blinked back tears. She flipped through the pages of the journal, remembering the words Camila had scrawled down on the worn paper. "It must've only gotten worse after the accident."

"But what about the gun?" Normani spoke up, trying to think logically. Lauren nodded and scanned a few of the pages in the journal until she found what she was looking for.

"He used to threaten her with it," Lauren swallowed hard and traced her fingers over the indented handwriting. "She said she took the bullets out, but he'd only put them back in."

"If someone threatened me with a gun, I'd shoot him, point blank," Dinah snapped, clenching her fists in frustration.

"If I'm correct, it's his fault for having a gun unlocked and accessible to a minor, right?" Ally thought for a moment. "In class we had to study a script for a criminal investigation show, and I remember it discussed a case like that."

"I sure hope so," Lauren closed the journal and placed it in her lap. "If he can get away with all those years of abuse, and she gets blamed for defending herself, I don't know what I'm gonna do." Her voice cracked and she wiped her eyes quickly to try and prevent the next set of tears from spilling over.

"We just have to hope it won't turn out like that," Normani sighed and ran a hand through her hair.

"Camila would never hurt anyone on purpose!" Lauren huffed and stood up, beginning to pace back and forth across the living room to try and relieve some of her built up frustration.

"They better realize that," Dinah agreed, walking over to Lauren and blocking her from the path she'd been pacing. The Polynesian girl placed her hands on Lauren's shoulders to try and make her focus. "Laur, you look like shit, you need to sleep."

"I know," Lauren sighed and shook her head. "But I can't."

"Lauren..."

"I'm fine, Dinah," Lauren sat back on the couch and pulled her legs up underneath her. "Can we just watch TV? I don't want to think... or talk about this anymore."

None of the girls said anything else, Dinah grabbed the remote and flipped to a random channel, knowing none of the girls would want to watch _Friends_ without Camila. Lauren tried her hardest to stay awake, but her head began to bob and eventually her eyelids grew too heavy. Sleep overtook her within the first ten minutes of the show.


	21. twenty one

The next few days passed in agony for all four roommates. Lauren, however, was taking everything worse than the three other girls. She'd just opened up and allowed herself to get close to Camila, only for the smaller girl to be torn away from her. The impending thought that Camila may end up in jail and never be able to come back home terrified Lauren.

In all her years on earth, Lauren had never suffered a loss as great as this one. Sure, she'd lost her great aunt when she was 7 years old, but she didn't remember anything about the woman. Her mother had scolded her for picking flowers at the funeral instead of mourning along with her family, but Lauren simply couldn't bring herself to feel sad over the loss of someone she barley knew.

Now Camila was another story. Lauren cared immensely about the younger girl. Granted, she used to hate her. But she found it impossible now, after learning about her. Lauren found it impossible to hate anyone once she figured out enough about them. Once she learned someone's true motives, it made it easier for her to sympathize with them.

She'd spent the rest of the weekend in bed. Her roommates would come into her room and check on her occasionally, but after she lashed out at them multiple times, they decided it was best to give the green eyed girl her space.

It was only at 11 PM on Sunday that Lauren realized she had classes the next day. Which meant she was supposed to turn in another one of her independent art projects. After considering just skipping class, Lauren was eventually able to pry herself out of bed.

She flicked on the lights in her bedroom and searched her backpack for her materials. Her eyes scanned over the colors of paint she had to choose from, grimacing at all the bright vivid colors she'd brought home. Eventually, she shoved all but two tubes of paint back into her bag.

Using the black and white paints, she mixed a variety of grays in her palette. Gray. Because without Camila, everything seemed to lose its color. Bright colors only reminded her of what she could possibly lose.

She began to search in her closet for a canvas, swearing that she had one stashed away somewhere. Her heart stopped when she found what she had been looking for. It looked a bit different than she'd expected, though.

Instead of finding a plain white canvas, Lauren found a plain white canvas - covered in Camila's childish scribbles. She must have done this the morning she had colored in her sketchbook, as well.

Feeling tears welling in her eyes, Lauren slammed the painting down on her easel and began to blindly slather paint over the colorful drawings, wanting to get them out of her sight as quick as possible.

A few minutes and a fit of tears later, Lauren looked down at her palette only to realize she'd used up all of her paint. Glancing back up at the canvas, she bit her lip when she realized just how thickly she'd layered on the colors. Paint was dripping down the canvas, down the easel, and leaving small specks on the floor.

Growing increasingly frustrated with herself, Lauren threw her paintbrush down and groaned. She trudged back over to her bed and crawled under the covers, curling up in the same spot where she'd spent the entire weekend.

There was a knock at the door a few moments later. When Lauren didn't acknowledge it, Dinah let herself into the room. She raised an eyebrow at the painting before walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed.

"How're you feeling?"

Lauren sighed, sitting up and wiping her eyes. "Why can't we just go... I don't know, fucking steal her back and leave the country?"

"Cause then we'd all end up in jail, dumbass," Dinah laughed softly. "It's getting late..."

"I know," Lauren glanced at the clock. "I have class tomorrow."

"You're going?"

The green eyed girl nodded. No matter how much she wanted to miss class, she knew she needed some sort of distraction. Sitting around and allowing her thoughts to run freely was only making her feel worse.

"What do you think she's doing right now?" Lauren said quietly after a few moments of silence. She saw Dinah's face fall slightly and sighed. Neither of them liked the thought of Camila in a jail.

"From what I know, they're holding her in a cell until the trial," Dinah ran a hand through her hair and glanced out the window. "And then... depending on what happens in trial, y'know..."

Lauren clenched her jaw and nodded. She knew. She'd thought about it for hours. "I better get some sleep," she said finally, deciding not to continue the conversation and work herself up even more. Dinah nodded in understanding.

"We meet with the lawyer tomorrow," Dinah reminded her, standing up from the bed. "We'll pick you up from class and we can drive there together?"

"Sure," Lauren sighed. "Night."

"It'll all work out somehow," Dinah said quietly, giving Lauren a sad smile. The green eyed girl just sighed and pulled the covers over herself. Dinah slipped quietly out of the room.

Lauren tossed and turned, but finally ended up falling asleep, only to be woken up a few hours later by the blaring noise of her alarm. Groaning, she sat up and stared at her wall, working up the willpower to get out of bed.

As she was washing her face, Normani appeared behind her in the mirror. She looked up, tilting her head to the side.

"Are you okay?" her roommate asked softly. Lauren splashed cold water on her face and nodded.

"Tired," she shrugged, drying off her face and dotting concealer under her eyes. "Thank god for makeup, right?"

Normani laughed softly. "Yeah, really," she bit her lip. "You sure you're alright? We meet with the lawyer today and I figured it might be hard for you."

"I'm fine, Mani," Lauren said firmly, not wanting her roommate to push the subject any further. She was trying her best to push any emotions out of her head. Luckily, Normani took the hint, giving her a sad smile before leaving her alone.

Once Lauren was dressed, she scanned her bedroom one last time. When she saw the painting, she cringed. It would have to do, though. She had no time to throw together something else. Tucking it under her arm, she jogged out to her car, tossing it into the backseat carelessly.

She drove slowly to class, wanting to put it off for as long as possible. Lauren hadn't realized how much she needed Camila in her life until she was gone. Camila had brought color to her once dull skies. And now, the blue of the sky was slowly fading with each day of Camila's absence.

Eventually, she ended up in the front parking lot of her school. She parked, circling her car so she could grab her painting.

"Shit," she mumbled, noticing the chips of paint that had rubbed against the back of her seat. She picked up the canvas, turning it over and groaning when she saw the small white spaces where the thick sections of dried paint had chipped off. Now, some of Camila's childish scribbles were peeking through the black and gray coating.

She was too tired to try and think of a solution, so instead she tucked the painting under her arm and jogged inside to her classroom. Of course, she was late once again, and after apologizing a million times, she set her canvas in the back of the classroom and quietly took her seat.

Meanwhile, back at the apartment, Dinah and Normani were cooped up in Dinah's bedroom, hovering over her laptop.

"How can she not have any family?" Normani furrowed her eyebrows. They'd been trying to find someone who had connections to Camila for the past hour, but they'd come up empty handed each time.

"I have no clue," Dinah sighed, shoving the laptop off of her lap. "I give up."

"Hey, wait," Normani lay back on the bed and thought for a moment. "Didn't she always talk about how she was Cuban?"

"I remember that, yeah," Dinah nodded and scooted back on the bed to join Normani. "Which means she might have family there, but..."

"They won't know her," Normani finished her sentence for her. "And they won't speak English." Both girls sighed in defeat.

"I can't imagine having _no one_ ," Normani said after a few minutes of silence between them. "That'd be... terrifying. I mean, the only person she had was a complete asshole."

"She had us," Dinah lifted her head and sat up. "And Lauren."

"Lauren," Normani raised her eyebrows suggestively.

Dinah rolled her eyes at Normani's playfulness and stood up, walking over to the window and staring at the city below them. "She's not taking it well. If Camila has to leave... y'know... She'll be crushed."

"She didn't know what she was getting into," Normani agreed.

Across the city, Lauren was just finishing her class. She practically ran to the door, but one of her classmates tapped her shoulder before she could leave and pointed to her teacher, who had been trying to get her attention. Lauren grimaced, dropping her shoulders in defeat and walking over to his desk.

"Your work this week is sure... different," Mr. Robertson began, setting her painting on the table. Lauren crinkled her nose, cursing herself for even turning it in. "You put a lot of emotion into this, yes?"

Lauren bit her lip and shrugged. "I guess."

"To me, this looks like a work of pure grief, Miss Jauregui," he leaned over the painting and traced the colorful marker underneath the paint, where Camila had drawn.

Lauren clenched her fists. "It's none of your business, actually. All you're supposed to do is grade it," she snapped, feeling her blood boiling. She couldn't help it.

Her teacher lifted his head to look at her, surprised by her sudden outburst. Lauren held her breath. He just nodded towards the door, signaling that she could leave. Lauren practically sprinted out of the room, not wanting to get herself into any more trouble.

When she made it to the parking lot, she glanced around for Normani and Dinah's car. All four roommates had agreed to drive to meet with the lawyer together. In her backpack, Lauren clutched Camila's journal close to her chest.

When she couldn't spot their car, she sat down on the curb and waited. Every time she was alone, Lauren's mind always seemed to wander to Camila. What was the small girl doing at that very moment? What if she was hurt? Or sick? Or scared? Lauren bit her lip and squeezed her eyes shut.

The familiar rumble of Dinah's pickup truck beckoned in the distance. Lauren lifted her head, noticing her friends waiting for her at the back of the parking lot. Sighing, she jogged over and slid into the backseat next to Ally, who squeezed her hand supportively.

"Normani, it's a fucking left turn, look at the brochure," Dinah leaned over from the driver's seat and fished a piece of paper out of the glove compartment, unfolding it and pointing to the small map.

"Hey dumbass, it's only a left turn if you hold it upside down," Normani flipped the paper around to prove Dinah wrong. The Polynesian girl huffed and turned the car right, speeding off down the road.

"Calm down up there!" Ally huffed, turning to Lauren and rolling her eyes. "They'd been on edge all day."

"Have not," Normani mumbled. "We're just nervous, that's all."

Lauren remained quiet while the girls bantered back and forth. Her mind was still on Camila. Only a few days stood between them and the trial. And everything would become even realer the moment she set foot in that courtroom.

"Laur...?" Ally said quietly. Lauren looked up.

"What?" she snapped.

"You're crying...?"

"Oh," Lauren whispered, wiping her eyes and turning her head away from the other girls. "I'm fine."

None of the other passengers in the car questioned her, knowing it would only make things worse. Normani and Dinah continued to argue over the directions until they finally pulled up in front of the large building.

They walked inside in silence, and a few minutes later they found themselves seated in a small room around a table, sitting across from a small man with a briefcase. Lauren felt sick to her stomach. The reality of this was slowly sinking in.

"I guess we can get started then," he nodded once, pulling a stack of papers out from his briefcase and thumbing through them. "Camila had to undergo a psychiatric evaluation as well as a medical evaluation," he started.

Lauren swallowed hard.

"Unfortunately, she wasn't very compliant," he continued, making Lauren's heart drop in her chest. "Looks like we've got enough information, though, if we combine everything with her previous medical records. I'm assuming you girls know about the accident Miss Cabello was involved in?"

All of them nodded except for Lauren, who just sat frozen. He flipped through the papers and pulled out a pale yellow sheet, sliding it across the table for them to look at.

"That's the official accident report," he explained, placing two pictures on the table in front of them. Lauren felt her stomach flip and she had to turn away to compose herself for a moment. "Those were taken the day after the accident. You can see where her skull was fractured, which is where most of the damage to her brain was done."

Turning back slowly, Lauren studied the picture. Camila was connected to a multitude of wires and machines. She was so small and vulnerable in the big hospital room. Lauren's hands shook and she had to shove the pictures back across the table for her own good. The other girls understood, just as shocked by them as she was.

"The trauma to her head was pretty severe," he continued, slipping the pictures back into his briefcase. "Typically, a traumatic brain injury has cognitive, perceptual, physical, and behavioral affects. All of which Miss Cabello seems to be showing."

"Memory loss is evident, although it seems to be spotty in some cases. It's hard to identify the things she does remember, and the things she doesn't. She has trouble understanding others and processing her own information, as well as expressing her own thoughts, which is frustrating for her."

"But in her case, that doesn't seem to account for some of her... problems, to put it lightly," he sighed and fished through his papers again, reading one of them for a few moments.

"A history of abuse is evident, yes?" he turned to them. All four girls nodded.

"Her uncle," Lauren spoke up for the first time. "It started in 5th grade."

He nodded and jotted something down. The other three girls looked at her, wondering how she knew the information. Lauren ignored their gazes and took a deep breath.

"At first we thought her brain injury may have triggered something called non-fluent aphasia, which would explain her trouble speaking in full sentences," he cleared his throat and scanned the papers once more. "Which might be the case, but there seems to be more."

"There's a long recovery period after something as traumatic as a brain injury. Especially in Camila's case, she would have to relearn a lot of things that she'd lost in the accident," he explained. "Unfortunately, the person she was living with at the time was not only abusive, but negligent."

"Her uncle wasn't a fit caretaker. Camila didn't have any help in her recovery, which explains her... peculiar way of seeing things. Everything she knows she's most likely figured out on her own. With no socialization, this all can stunt her recovery. Are you following?"

Lauren clenched her hands into fists. Her blood was boiling with anger towards Camila's uncle. She settled on nodding slowly and forcing herself to breathe deeply.

"Now for her psych evaluation," he began, and Lauren's heart was beating rapidly. As if what she was already going through wasn't enough, there had to be even more. Camila didn't deserve any of this.

The man slid another paper out of his binder and laid it on the desk. "She showed signs of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, most likely from the abuse that continued once she got home from the hospital."

"Basically, her brain is overwhelming itself. She already had damage done to her brain, so now having to process the abuse and any repressed memories is even harder for her than it would be for, say, me or you."

"This is so fucking stupid!" Lauren snapped, slamming her hands into the table and standing up. "I don't get why we even have to sit here, while Camila is out there, and we can't even help her!"

She felt a hand on her arm and looked over at Dinah, giving her a sympathetic look. No one seemed to be angry with her for being upset, and Dinah tugged on her arm to urge her to sit back down. Lauren sighed and slouched back into her seat.

"You don't happen to be the one she calls 'Lolo,' do you?" the man nodded to Lauren. The moment she heard the familiar nickname, the green eyed girl burst into tears. Her roommates immediately crowded around her to calm her down.

"I'm fine, guys, I'm fine," Lauren mumbled, wiping her eyes and sniffing. Truth is, she wasn't fine, but she could fake it for now. "I need to talk to him alone, I have..." she nodded towards her backpack. The girls understood, giving Lauren supportive smiles and slipped out of the room.

Once the door shut behind them, Lauren bent down and pulled Camila's old journal out of her backpack, flipping it open and setting it on the table.

Lauren bit her lip and thought for a moment. "She brought this with her when she showed up at our door," she lied. She couldn't confess to breaking into the house.

"She wrote about her uncle in here," Lauren said after taking a deep breath. The lawyer nodded, signifying to her that it was okay to go on. "She talks about how he... hit her, and at one point she says he threatened her with his gun, which I think could explain how she... you know."

Lauren passed the journal across the table for him to look at. She looked down at her hands in her lap, her anxiety growing by the second.

"Can I take pictures of these?" the lawyer asked, holding up a small digital camera. "This would serve as solid evidence in the courtroom." Lauren nodded softly, watching as he snapped a couple pictures of the pages, before passing the journal back across the table.

"I just wanted to brief you and your roommates on what we've concluded so far with Camila," he explained, beginning to store the papers back in his brief case. "We've got a solid argument, strong evidence, and proof of his abuse. I think we've got a pretty good chance."

Lauren took a deep breath and nodded. "Thank you," she said softly, holding Camila's journal tight to her chest and heading out to meet the other girls in the lobby.


	22. twenty two

After their meeting with the lawyer, Lauren went home and went straight to bed. She tossed and turned, but finally ended up falling asleep. She woke with a start at around 9PM, breathing heavily and bringing her hands to her face. Another nightmare about Camila in jail.

This time, Lauren and Camila had been separated by a wire fence, holding hands through the small holes in the barrier. All of a sudden, Lauren had felt a force pulling her backwards, and no matter how much she struggled, she couldn’t break free. Camila was pulled away as well, by two prison guards behind her.

Camila was calling out for Lauren to help her, but Lauren couldn’t respond. She tried, but every time she opened her mouth, no sound would come out. Then all of a sudden, everything went dark, and she felt as if she was falling. And that’s when she was jolted awake.

Lauren took a deep breath, scrambling to turn on her light and convince herself it had all been just a dream. Once she calmed herself down and assured herself that she was safe, she came to the realization that she would never be able to get undisturbed sleep that night.

So she went for a walk. Granted, going for a walk probably wasn’t the best idea in the middle of the night, in New York City, by herself. But she was Lauren, and she acted on her impulses. So she slipped on her shoes and silently made her way out of the apartment and outside into the fresh air.

Her walk took a dramatic turn, though, when she gazed longingly at the park across the street. That park had been where she’d scolded Camila for picking the flowers, and where she’d found Camila in the woods in the pouring rain. She took a deep breath, slowly forming an idea.

She walked down the street. Thankfully, she knew exactly where she could find what she needed, and if she walked at a fast pace, she could make it there just in time. Her worn converse carried her quickly down the block, and eventually she ended up right where she needed to be.

After purchasing more than she should have, Lauren decided to get a taxi back to the park instead of having to carry everything. Ten minutes later, she found herself in the back corner of the park where Camila had picked the daisies.

She dug. She dug out the area where the daisies had once grown. Using the collection of flowers she’d purchased from the nursery, she carefully planted them along the curve in the sidewalk, making sure the yellow ones were on proud display in the middle.

Before Camila, if Lauren had been told she would be planting flowers at midnight, she would laugh and think it was a joke. But now, here she was. Camila had brought spontaneity into her life, and now Lauren found herself doing things she never thought she would. And enjoying it.

An hour or so later, all the flowers she had bought were now planted neatly in the small corner of the park. Maybe this was her mind’s twisted way of making up for yelling at Camila for the daisies, but either way, it had kept her mind occupied for a good amount of time.

She stood back and admired the small garden she’d created, wishing Camila could have been there to see it. Lauren thought back to the day she had told Camila that love wasn’t about possession, and that it was about appreciation.

Looking back now, Lauren hated the fact that that statement was true. Because hell, she could appreciate Camila no matter how far away the girl was. But she wanted Camila here. With her. And at the moment, that wasn’t possible.

She sat on the bench for a while, just admiring her handiwork. She didn’t realize how long she’d been outside until a beam of sunlight peered over the trees and nearly blinded her. Sighing, she made the decision that even though she had class that day, she deserved a day off.

The moment she walked through the apartment door, all three of her roommates crowded around her.

“Where the hell were you?” Dinah looked the girl up and down to make sure she was alright.

“I went for a walk,” Lauren shrugged, not wanting to reveal what she had actually been doing. She’d already gotten enough ‘whipped’ comments from her friends, and wasn’t in the mood for any more of them.

“You’re fucking insane,” Dinah shook her head. “We thought you got kidnapped or something. Warn a guy next time, will you?”

Lauren just chuckled to herself and ran a hand through her hair. She walked into the kitchen, grabbing a box of cereal from the pantry and making herself breakfast. All of her roommates eyed her questioningly.

“You’re late for class,” Ally spoke up. Lauren raised an eyebrow for a moment before shrugging.

“M’not going,” she mumbled with a mouthful of food.

“That’s a first,” Normani whispered to Dinah, who nodded in agreement. They decided not to question Lauren further, though. With only a few days left until Camila’s trial, they wanted to keep Lauren in as best of a mood as they could.

Lauren’s mood plummeted downwards around dinnertime, though, when her phone buzzed in her pocket and she excused herself into her bedroom.

“Hello?” she asked, sitting on the edge of her bed and biting her lip.

“Laur? It’s mom, your father just got me a new phone. How are you?”

Lauren’s eyes widened. Her mother had always been good at telling when Lauren was upset, even over the phone. She took a deep breath.

“I’m good, mom, how are you?” she asked, scooting back on her bed and crossing her legs. It’s not that she wasn’t close with her mother, because she was, but she didn’t exactly have a believable explanation for why she was this miserable. Luckily, her mother didn’t seem to notice.

“We’re all good down here, sweetie, what’s new with you? I’ve been so busy I just haven’t had the time to call,” her mother explained on the other end of the line. Lauren racked her brain for something new in her life  _besides_  Camila.

“I, uh, I’m doing good in school,” Lauren offered a half-assed lie, biting her lip.

“That’s all?” her mother questioned, and Lauren could tell she knew something was up. “How are the other girls?”

“They’re good,” Lauren nodded once and gazed out the window, watching as the sun slowly began its descent behind the horizon.

“Everything’s ‘good’ with you then, eh?”

“I guess,” Lauren shrugged. She didn’t know what else to say to try and lead the conversation in another direction. She’d never been good at talking about herself.

“What about your dating life? Any hot girls in the city?” her mother teased.

“Mom!” Lauren felt her cheeks grow red and suddenly she couldn’t get her mind off of Camila. “I… I-I… I don’t know.”

“So there is someone!” her mother raised her voice. “Mike, you were right!” she called to Lauren’s father in the background. Lauren’s jaw dropped and she suddenly grew increasingly anxious. Now they would bombard her with questions, and she wouldn’t know how to answer them.

“Who is she? What’s her name?” her mother came back on the other end of the phone. Lauren tensed and couldn’t find her words.

“I… she’s… I don’t know,” she stumbled over her words.

“You don’t know her name?” her mother laughed. Lauren lifted her head when she heard a soft knock at the door, revealing Dinah staring questioningly into her room. When she saw the nervous look on Lauren’s face, she immediately joined the girl on the bed and threw and arm around her shoulder. Lauren took a deep breath.

“I don’t know what…  _we_  are, yet, I don’t really want to get your hopes up for nothing,” Lauren bit her lip. It wasn’t technically a lie.

Dinah raised an eyebrow and mouthed ‘Camila?’ to Lauren, who nodded and motioned for Dinah to keep quiet. Thankfully, the Polynesian girl got the message.

“Oh, well that’s understandable honey,” her mother sighed on the other end of the line. Lauren bit her lip, knowing both of her parents were eager to hear about whoever their daughter had met. If only they knew.

“You’ll be the first to know,” Lauren tried to reassure them. Dinah patted Lauren’s back in support and the green eyed girl sent her a thankful smile. Thankfully, her mother dropped the subject, and Lauren said she had to go help with dinner. Once the call ended, Dinah tilted her head to the side slightly.

“You’re not going to tell them about Camila?” the Polynesian girl asked, crossing her legs underneath her. Lauren bit her lip in thought.

“They know who she is,” Lauren sighed and shook her head. “They know what she did to me in high school, and I don’t want to bring that up to them right now. Plus, without any context, telling them that she’s being charged for murder isn’t exactly the ideal way to introduce her.”

“True,” Dinah agreed and nudged Lauren playfully. “Quit worrying so much. It’ll all work out.”

“Do you really believe that?” Lauren rebutted. Dinah shrugged and laid back on the bed.

“I’m trying my best,” she admitted.

“Me too,” Lauren mumbled, gazing out the window at the sunset. All the different colors reminded her of Camila and she abruptly got up, whipping her curtains shut. Dinah jumped at the girl’s sudden outburst, watching as Lauren turned around with tears in her eyes. Immediately, Dinah held out her arms. Lauren willingly fell into them, letting the sobs overtake her.

“I-I just want her back,” Lauren managed to say between sobs. Dinah just nodded in agreement. All four roommates felt a void open when Camila had left.

“There’s some cheesy ass quote about loving something and letting it go,” Dinah said after a few minutes of silence between them. Lauren wiped her eyes and looked up at the other girl.

“And if it comes back, it was meant to be. I know,” Lauren whispered. “Is it really true, though?” She sat up and wiped her eyes, her mind was suddenly racing. “What if you love something and it doesn’t come back? What do you do then?”

“No one has all the answers,” Dinah said truthfully. “You’ve just got to hope that the universe knows what it’s doing.”

Lauren bit her lip to stop the next round of tears from falling. “Why does it hurt so much?” she groaned and lay back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling blankly. “This is why I don’t get attached. Because then something comes along and threatens to ruin everything.”

She clenched her fists, growing angrier and angrier at everyone who stood between her and Camila. She jumped when she felt a hand on her arm.

“We’ve just gotta fight for her then, right?” Dinah said softly, squeezing Lauren’s hand. “If we go down, we’ll go down fighting.”

Lauren nodded softly, forcing herself to believe the words that Dinah spoke. Camila was hers, and she was going to make sure it stayed that way.

Hell, if love was painful, she didn’t care. The pain was worth it.

Oh god, the pain was  _so_  fucking worth it.

Two days of absolute hell passed as slowly as they could. Lauren spent most of her time in her room, sitting on the edge of her bed and staring out the window. Her room was positioned so she had a perfect view of the park across the street. All week she had been watching people’s reactions when they saw the abundance of flowers she’d planted a few nights back. She hoped that maybe some of their happiness would rub off on her.

Lauren found it funny how when Camila showed up at their door, she had no idea a girl that small could cause her so much pain just by being absent in her life. She wasn’t aware how painful losing someone was.

People talk about emotional pain, but they never seem to mention the physical pain of distance. Lauren had always thought people were exaggerating when they said their heart ‘hurt,’ but now, she understood. It was literally as if someone had reached straight into her chest and gripped her heart, not allowing it to beat any further.

She was suspended in a world of nothingness. It was as if time had stopped, and she was trapped watching everyone else move on with their lives, while she struggled to free herself. Camila had left and taken everything Lauren had valued with her.

And it didn’t make sense to her at all. Because she’d known Camila for such a short period of time, and yet the time they’d spend together were so full. And god, she’d used that girl as a security blanket. Camila brought light back into Lauren’s life and now, nothing was left shadows.

She’d come into Lauren’s life, turned everything upside down, and disappeared once more. And Lauren wanted nothing more than to get her back.

It was now the day before the trial, and Lauren couldn’t sleep. Nearly midnight, the moon was the only thing illuminating her otherwise dark bedroom. She rolled onto her back, staring up at the ceiling and tracing the constellations in the cracks. Maybe Camila could see the moon from where she was. Maybe it would lead her back home. 


	23. twenty three

"Laur."

"Lauren."

"Jauregui!"

Lauren woke with a start when her blanket was tugged from overtop of her, causing her to fly off of the edge of her bed and land on the ground with a thud. She groaned, still half asleep, and glared at Dinah and Normani standing above her.

"You brought it upon yourself," Dinah tossed the blanket on the floor. "Today's the day, get dressed and get your ass downstairs for breakfast."

The green eyed girl waited until her roommates were gone to untangle herself from the blankets and stumble up to her feet. Today was the day. Camila's trial. The day where things could suddenly become 100% more real for her.

Telling herself not to think about it, Lauren blasted music from her speakers to keep her mind occupied. She got changed into leggings and a band t-shirt, throwing her leather jacket overtop of it to accommodate the declining temperature.

She looked at herself in the mirror, realizing just how exhausted she looked. It matched the way she felt. Sighing, she splashed cold water on her face to try and wake herself up. It didn't help much.

The moment she set foot in the kitchen, a bowl of cereal was shoved into her hands. Ally gave her a soft smile and nodded towards their other roommates in the living room. Lauren sat down on the carpet since the couches were full, realizing she was sitting in Camila's usual spot. She swallowed the lump in her throat and glanced up at her roommates.

"Nervous?" Normani asked her. Lauren nodded, taking a bite of her food and picking at a loose strand of carpet.

"You're not the only one," the dark skinned girl responded, motioning to the other two girls on the couch as well as herself. "None of us know what to expect."

Lauren bit her lip. At least she wasn't alone in this. She didn't know what she would do if she had been handling this by herself. "Thank you guys," she whispered, nodding once. "I dunno what I'd do without you."

"We were thrown into this together, it's only fair that we stick it out together," Ally nodded, giving the girl on the floor a soft smile. Lauren returned the gesture and finished the rest of her breakfast in silence. This was a bad thing, though, because it only allowed her thoughts to race.

Regardless of what happened that day, she would be in the same room as Camila. She would see her face, and she kept trying to hold onto that one simple blessing. And maybe, just maybe, she'd get to hug her.

The car ride to the courthouse was dead silent aside from Dinah's occasional complaints about traffic. All four girls were on edge. Lauren picked anxiously at her nails, a nervous habit she'd had since she was a child.

"Here we are," Dinah breathed out. Parking the car, the Polynesian girl gazed at the building in front of them and took a deep breath. The minute Lauren saw the name of the building, she felt sick to her stomach. This was really happening, this wasn't just a dream.

The three other girls slid out of the car, but Lauren sat frozen, running over everything in her mind. This was real. She jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder, turning to find Dinah holding out a hand to help her out of the car. Swallowing the lump in her throat, Lauren allowed the other girl to lead her out of the car and up the steps to the courthouse.

Ten minutes later, the four friends sat on an uncomfortable wooden bench, all scanning the room nervously. Lauren bit her lip.

"I feel sick to my stomach," she mumbled. Ally, who was sitting next to her, placed a hand on her knee and gave her a supportive smile. Lauren just sighed and looked down at her hands in her lap.

The sound of footsteps brought her attention back to the front of the room, and her heart dropped in her chest the second she saw the neon yellow sweatshirt. The same one she'd gotten Camila. The same one Camila was wearing the night they took her away.

What made even more of an impact was the girl wearing the sweatshirt. Lauren immediately felt Dinah and Normani grab her hands to try and comfort her, but she already felt a lump forming in her throat.

Camila hadn't seen her yet. In fact, the smaller girl kept her eyes locked on the ground the entire time. She was dead silent as one of the officers led her to the front of the room to sit down. It was only then that Camila lifted her head and looked shyly around the room.

Brown eyes met green and Lauren swore her heart stopped beating. Dinah's grip on her hand tightened. Camila studied Lauren's face for a second, as if she was making sure it was her. Moments later, chaos broke out.

"Lolo?" Camila stood up, starting to walk towards Lauren. The green eyed girl was about to get up as well, but a man grabbed Camila before she could walk any further.

That sent Camila into panic, and she whimpered, trying to pull her arms out of his grip. This only made him hold tighter onto her, but she continued to try and run forwards to Lauren.

"Lolo!" she cried, thrashing her arms to the side wildly and struggling to plant her feet in front of the other. Another officer appeared to help keep Camila from running. Lauren sat frozen. This wasn't real. This was all a dream.

"Lauren."

"Wha..?" Lauren snapped out of her hypnotic stare on Camila and flinched when she saw one of the officers was now standing in front of her. She glanced at her roommates helplessly.

"We're going to need you to leave the room, ma'am, you appear to be some sort of distraction for her," the man nodded towards Camila, who was looking straight at her pleadingly. Lauren had to tear her eyes away.

"I can come with you," Dinah offered. Lauren turned to look at the girl next to her and shook her head slowly. She needed to be alone. Dinah nodded in understanding, which Lauren was thankful for. Saying another word would most likely send her over the edge.

Without another word, Lauren got to her feet and quickly walked out of the courtroom. Truth be told, she was glad to get out of there. She didn't think she could handle reliving Camila's past all over again. Once had been more than enough for her.

Camila started screaming for Lauren when she saw the green eyed girl waking away, and Lauren forced herself to keep walking. If she turned around, she knew she wouldn't be able to leave. And that would only cause more trouble for the both of them. That didn't stop her heart from aching more than it ever had, though.

Unsure of where else to go, Lauren walked down the courthouse steps and sat at the bottom, kicking a pebble on her way down. It was a fairly chilly day in the city, but she could care less. She needed all the fresh air she could get.

The minute she thought back to what had just happened in the court room, Lauren felt sick all over again. The image of Camila crying out her name and struggling to run towards her was all it took for Lauren to burst into tears. The green eyed girl let her head fall into her hands as sobs escaped her lips.

Meanwhile, Dinah, Ally, and Normani all sat anxiously as the trial began. The pictures of Camila in the hospital after the car accident were presented to the jury, along with excerpts from her journal, which talked about her uncle's abuse.

Once Lauren had left, the officers had forced Camila to sit back down. They had to handcuff her to the table to keep her from running. The image made Dinah shiver. Camila didn't deserve any of this. And Lauren didn't deserve to see her go though this.

Dinah's blood was already boiling by halfway through the trial. Hearing all the horrible things Camila had to go through was making her angrier by the second, but something else made her snap altogether.

"Shouldn't we be concerned about the threat someone like  _her_  poses to society?" the prosecutor turned to Camila's lawyer and raised an eyebrow. The combination of her body language and the tone in her voice set Dinah over the edge, and she hopped to her feet before the man could respond.

"Can I say something?" Dinah called out, clenching her fists and trying to keep herself calm. She stepped into the aisle and everyone's heads turned to her. Including Camila, whose eyes met hers pleadingly.

"And who might you be?" the judge addressed her. Dinah took a step forward.

"I'm her roommate," she pointed to Camila.

The judge looked between Dinah and Camila for a few moments before nodding once. "Go ahead."

Dinah took this as a cue to move forward, she marched straight to the front of the courtroom and faced the jury. She took a deep breath before she started to speak.

"When Camila first showed up at her house, my three roommates and I hated her," Dinah began, keeping her voice steady. She saw Ally and Normani gaping at her actions, but ignored them. "We'd be anything  _but_  friends in high school, and we had no idea why she would try to come to us out of all people."

"My friend Lauren, the girl who you saw before, resented her the most. Camila... did some things to her in high school. Although she doesn't remember them anymore," Dinah nodded towards Camila, who was watching in confusion.

"Lauren started out completely hating her. But then somehow, Camila started to win her over. God, they were fucking inseparable until they had to come and take her away!" Dinah flung her arm backwards and motioned to the two police officers standing a few feet behind Camila.

"And if you don't know Lauren, you should know that she is the most stubborn person I've ever met in my entire life. It's unheard of for her to change her opinion about someone. But somehow Camila did that," Dinah pointed to Camila once more. "So I think that's a pretty good judge of character."

"And if  _you..._ ," Dinah glared at the prosecutor. "If you think that Camila is a threat to society, you couldn't be more wrong." She took a deep breath and tried to contain her anger. Everyone was listening to her intently, curious on what she had to say.

"Camila wouldn't hurt a fly. She's literally the definition of innocence," Dinah ran a hand through her hair. "This is the same girl that cried for hours because she broke a vase and thought she 'killed' it. And if you think that's a danger to society, you need to rethink your entire life."

Dinah finished bluntly, nodding once and not waiting to be dismissed before marching back and taking her seat. She was infuriated at the entire situation. Normani reached out and squeezed her shoulder, meeting her eyes and silently telling her she did well.

"Well," the judge scanned the courtroom. "With that being said, we'll have a short break while the jury comes to their verdict, and we'll gather back here in ten minutes after they make their decision."

The three girls looked at one another, and then over to Camila, who was staring at them longingly. They knew if they left the room that it would only cause a scene with a smaller girl, so instead Normani tugged them both into the back corner where they couldn't be heard.

"You've got balls, Dinah," she said once they were out of earshot. Dinah just nodded and brought her hand to her chest.

"My heart is being like crazy," she confessed, glancing back at the front of the room where she just stood. "You don't think I fucked everything up, do you?"

Normani and Ally exchanged glances before shaking their heads. "It was good. You did good."

"Do you think Lauren's okay?" Dinah bit her lip and glanced around the room. "I should go check on her." She nodded, making her decision. "Yeah, I'll be back in a few minutes."

The other girls nodded in understanding. Dinah jogged out of the room, trying to think where her green eyed roommate would have gone. Knowing Lauren, she would be outside, so that's where Dinah checked first.

Sure enough, she caught sight of the dark haired girl at the bottom of the steps. She made her way down slowly, narrowing her eyes to see what Lauren was doing.

"Hey loser, you okay?"

Lauren slammed her sketchbook shut the minute she heard Dinah's voice. Once she had calmed herself down, she had realized she needed to remember what Camila looked like if that had been the last time she would ever seen her. The green eyed girl had flipped to an open page in her sketchbook and attempted to bring Camila to life on paper. The last thing she wanted to do was forget what she looked like.

She looked up at Dinah, biting her lip and shrugging. "M'fine. How'd it go? Is she...?" she suddenly grew worried and moved to stand up. Dinah put a hand out to stop her.

"They haven't made their decision yet. We have a ten minute break," Dinah explained, sitting down next to Lauren, who sighed heavily. "I sort of... said something."

"You what?" Lauren raised her eyebrows.

"They thought Camila was a 'danger to society,'" Dinah scoffed, making air quotes with her fingers. "Which is bullshit, and I made sure they knew that."

"Please don't tell me you punched someone," Lauren bit her lip.

"Only with my words," Dinah chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. Lauren rolled her eyes and let her head fall in her hands.

"I don't know what I'm gonna do if..." she shook her head.

"Don't focus on the worst possible outcome," Dinah ran a hand through her hair and glanced back up at the building. "It'll all work out the way it's supposed to, okay?"

Lauren just nodded, keeping her eyes locked on the ground. Dinah checked her phone and cursed when she saw the time.

"I've gotta get back in there," she stood up and gave Lauren's shoulder a soft squeeze. "Don't get into any trouble while I'm gone!" she called as she jogged back up the stairs. Lauren turned to watch her disappear back into the building.

Once she was alone again, Lauren slowly reopened her sketchbook. Using her pencil, she began scratching in the smaller details. Camila's small birthmark on the side of her face, her dimples, the perfect curve of her lips. Lauren squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath.

Maybe wanting to remember what she looked like was superficial, but Lauren didn't see it that way. Looking at Camila reminded her of other things. Looking at her eyes reminded her of the way Camila would smile with her entire face. Looking at her lips reminded her of Camila's incessant laughter, and how good it felt to kiss her and feel her giggle against her lips. Looking at her eyes reminded her of the way Camila would study Lauren so intently, completely unashamed of the way she was staring.

Camila was something else. And it wasn't just the  _new_  Camila, either. After reading her old journal entries and getting to know the old Camila, Lauren had slowly fallen in love with both versions of the girl. But now, she might not get to know either one.

Sighing heavily, Lauren wiped the few tears that had escaped her eyes and closed her sketchbook, shoving it into her backpack. She propped her elbows on her knees and let her head fall into her hands. Sleep was demanding her attention, and she was slowly losing the fight. She stared at the cars in the parking lot, absentmindedly counting their colors.

Some time passed, and the green eyed girl was now nearly asleep on the steps. She was in a half asleep, half dreaming state. Her eyelids were growing heavier by the second.

Meanwhile, four girls slowly made their way out of the front of the courthouse. Three of the girls pointed to Lauren, nudging the smaller girl in her direction with wide smiles on their faces. When the girl saw where they were pointing, her face lit up, and her feet took off down the steps.

The minute Lauren felt a body practically tackle hers into the grass next to the steps, she swore she was dreaming. She blinked her eyes open, growing increasingly confused.

" _Lolo_ ," the voice hummed contently. Lauren's eyes widened and she felt her heart beat faster than what she thought was humanely possible. She had to be dreaming.

"Camz?" she whispered, lifting her head and wiping her eyes. The small girl was clinging to her, nuzzling her face in the crook of the neck. The moment Camila looked up and met Lauren's eyes, the older girl realized it wasn't a dream. This was real.

"Oh my god," Lauren threw her arms around Camila and held her closer than she ever had before. She was back. She was safe. She was with  _her_.

"Lolo promised," Camila mumbled, with her head still lying on Lauren's shoulder. Both girls were practically flat on the grass in front of the courthouse, but neither cared at all.

"What?" Lauren asked, pulling apart from the prolonged hug and wiping the tears from her eyes. The moment Camila saw this, she grew increasingly concerned. The smaller girl reached out and pressed her palm against the side of Lauren's face, tilting her head to the side.

"Why are you crying?" Camila asked, concern flickering in her eyes. She reached out with her other hand and used her thumb to ever-so-gently wipe each individual tear from Lauren's cheeks. "Are you sad?"

Lauren shook her head furiously. "No, of course not," she laughed softly. "I'm just really happy," she explained, using the sleeves of her jacket to wipe her own eyes. "Sometimes people cry when they're really happy."

"I am happy too, Lolo," Camila smiled widely, pulling Lauren into another hug and sighing contently. And all at once, Lauren felt whole again.

"What did I promise?" Lauren asked, revisiting what Camila had said before. The smaller girl smiled brightly and reached out to traced her fingers over Lauren's jawline.

"You promised to keep me safe," Camila nodded once. "You did. I am safe," she smiled widely.

Lauren felt her eyes well up with tears again and she held Camila close to her. "I always keep my promises," she whispered, realizing she couldn't remember the last time she'd felt this innocently happy.

After lingering in the hug for as long as she could, Lauren pulled away and helped the smaller girl to her feet. As soon as they were both standing, Camila clung onto Lauren again, not wanting to risk losing her once more.

Lauren's smile grew even wider when she saw her three roommates standing at the top of the stairs, gushing at the sight of the two other girls. The moment they made eye contact with Lauren, they all came running down the stairs and nearly knocked over Camila and Lauren in a group hug.

All that was heard was their laughter, the air full of relief from the stress filled week. All seemed right in the world.

"Together," Camila's muffled voice rang out from the middle of the circle. "I have my friends again."

 


	24. twenty four

"So she's basically free. I mean, she's not going to jail," Dinah explained to Lauren as they walked back to the truck. "She's required to start seeing a therapist and some other special doctor, but that's about it. They said from her uncle's autopsy it was obvious that the gun had misfired. She must've been trying to get it away from him and pulled the trigger by accident."

"Damn," Lauren bit her lip, sliding into the back of the truck.

"Lolo," Camila hummed happily, crawling into the back of Dinah's truck and scooting right up next to Lauren. The five girls had decided to go out to dinner to celebrate Camila's acquittal. Lauren was on cloud nine.

Normani slid into the back of the car next to Camila, with Ally and Dinah in the front. Dinah winked at Lauren in the rear view mirror, making the green eyed girl's cheeks flush red when she realized Camila was practically sitting in her lap.

"Hi," Camila smiled widely, her face inches away from Lauren's. She didn't seem to mind that there were three other people in the car watching them.

"Hi," Lauren giggled, feeling the now-familiar feeling of butterflies in her stomach. Camila abruptly leaned in, kissing Lauren quickly and then turning around to make sure everyone had seen them.

"My Lolo," she announced proudly. Lauren was taken aback by the kiss, and moments later Camila's lips were against hers again. This time Lauren caught up, and kissed her back gently. She felt Camila smiling against her lips and couldn't help but do the same. When the kiss pulled away, Lauren's face grew red as she felt everyone's eyes on her.

"Gross," Normani mumbled under her breath, sending Lauren a playful smirk through the mirror. Lauren shoved her playfully, which caused Camila to giggle. Normani moved to push Lauren back, but Camila threw herself inbetween them to stop her.

"Be nice," Camila nodded once, taking Normani's hands and moving them away. The dark skinned girl raised an eyebrow.

"So Lauren can hit me but I can't hit her back?" her and Lauren exchanged glances. The green eyed girl burst into laughter.

"Yes. Be nice," Camila let go of Normani's hands and scooted into Lauren's side. Normani rolled her eyes playfully.

Once they made it to the pizza place, Camila tugged Lauren out of the car and practically dragged her inside the restaurant. They were taken to a large booth in the back, where Camila insisted that she sit next to Lauren. As if the girls would allow them to sit apart from each other.

"What're we getting?" Ally asked, turning the menu over to continue reading it. Camila furrowed her eyebrows and reached across the table, taking Ally's menu away from her and placing it on top of her own.

"Pizza," she nodded once, pointing to the picture on the menu and smiling proudly. The other four girls exchanged glances and shrugged, figuring pizza would be all they needed. The waitress came and took their order, paying extra attention to Lauren the entire time.

Now Camila may be pretty special, but she wasn't stupid. She saw the waitress wink at Lauren and immediately scooted closer to the girl. By the time the waitress collected their menus and left the table, Camila was practically in Lauren's lap.

"What are you doing?" Lauren giggled, wrapping an arm around Camila. The smaller girl glared at the waitress across the restaurant and Lauren followed her line of vision, realizing what she was alluding to.

"Her?" Lauren asked, raising an eyebrow. Camila looked at her, concern evident in her features. This only made Lauren laugh and shake her head.

"Why would I want her when I've got you?"

Camila smiled shyly. Meanwhile, Dinah and Normani were making gagging noises while Ally looked at the other two girls affectionately. Lauren stuck her tongue out at them, which only made Dinah flick water off of her straw at them.

"Hey!" Camila crossed her arms and glared at Dinah across the table. "Be nice."

"Wait, Camila, didn't you have those clothes on when you left our apartment?" Ally spoke up, interrupting their conversation. Camila looked at her sleeves, thinking for a moment before nodding slowly. Lauren raised an eyebrow.

"You've been wearing those clothes the entire time?" she asked, turning to look at the girl next to her. Camila suddenly grew ashamed, but nodded her head.

"They didn't give you a change of clothes?" Lauren bit her lip, fighting the urge to get up and give the people who had been taking care of Camila piece of her mind.

"Mean," Camila shook her head, leaning into Lauren's side. The older girl looked at her roommates questioningly, wrapping a protective arm around Camila and holding her close.

"How were they mean?" Lauren asked, running a hand through Camila's hair to loosen her curls. Camila thought for a moment.

"They did not understand me," she replied slowly, tracing circles in the material of her jeans. Lauren took a deep breath to calm herself down. Camila noticed Lauren's agitation and turned to the other girl. "But I am here now, right?"

"Exactly," Dinah spoke up, reaching across the table and squeezing Camila's hand. "And I don't think you're gonna leave anytime soon."

Camila nodded confidently, turning back to Lauren and kissing her cheek. "I stay with you, yes?" Lauren felt herself comforted by Camila's touch and she nodded slowly.

"Of course," she smiled, kissing Camila's forehead and earning more gagging noises from Dinah's side of the booth. She kicked the Polynesian girl under the table, causing Dinah to reel backwards, tipping her chair over and landing on the ground with a _thud_.

"Ouch," Camila giggled from her side of the table, knowing what Lauren had done. Dinah groaned, standing back up and brushing off her backside.

"Nice one, Jauregui," she joked, sitting back down. Normani and Ally both struggled to hold in their laughter, but the moment Dinah looked over at them questioningly, they both lost it.

Dinah was about to rebut their laughter with a sarcastic comment, but their pizza was brought to the table before she could. Camila squealed excitedly, which earned a few questioning glances from the tables around them. The moment Lauren glared back at them, though, they averted their eyes.

"Woah," Lauren grabbed Camila's hand just as the girl reached for the entire pizza. She giggled and shook her head, grabbing a knife and beginning to cut the pizza. "Sharing is caring, Camz."

"Oh," Camila watched intently as Lauren cut her a slice, holding up her plate when Lauren asked her to. She giggled in anticipation when Lauren slid the pizza onto her plate, and immediately took a bite.

"I like pizza," Camila smiled widely. Lauren giggled and cut herself a slice, passing the knife across the table to the other girls.

"I can tell," Lauren raised an eyebrow at Camila, who was already halfway done her slice before Lauren had even taken a bite.

"But I like Lolo better," Camila added, setting down her food and reaching up to press her fingers to Lauren's cheek. Lauren shivered. Giggling, Camila withdrew her fingers and leaned up to kiss the same spot on Lauren's cheek.

"Damn, Laur, she chose you over pizza," Dinah grinned from across the table. Lauren bit the inside of her cheek to hide her smile. Camila turned her attention back to her pizza, taking another bite and giving Normani a thumbs up from across the table.

A little over an hour later, the girls all arrived back at the apartment. Camila stood hesitantly in the hallway, biting her lip when everyone else went inside. Noticing this, Lauren turned around and stood in the doorway.

"Are you coming?" she asked softly, tilting her head to the side. Camila took a step forward but still remained quiet. Growing concerned, Lauren took a step out into the hallway and took Camila's hand. "What's wrong?"

The smaller girl held onto Lauren's hand tightly, peering into the apartment and looking down at her feet. "It is scary," she nodded towards the doorway.

"Scary?" Lauren turned to glance back into the apartment, trying to figure out what could possibly scare the younger girl. "What's scary?"

"I do not want to leave again," Camila proceeded to free her hands, clapping her wrists together behind her back and looking at Lauren pleadingly. Lauren's heart dropped when she realized the smaller girl was referring to the handcuffs that had been put on her when she was taken from the apartment.

"Hey, no, that's not going to happen again," Lauren shook her head, stressing her words to make sure Camila believed her. She took a step forward, taking both of Camila's hands in her own and meeting her eyes.

"There's no more bad guys," she said, tucking a loose strand of hair behind Camila's ear. "I'm going to make sure of that."

Camila opened her mouth to speak, but Lauren already knew what she was going to say. She beat her to it, lifting her pinky finger. "I promise, Camz," she giggled. Camila crinkled her nose when Lauren took the words out of her mouth, but proceeded to lock their fingers together.

"Can I ask you something?" Lauren questioned, figuring now was a good of a time as any. Camila nodded softly, allowing Lauren to continue.

"How did you end up coming to New York? How'd you find us?" she asked, running a hand through her hair nervously. She watched as Camila furrowed her eyebrows, biting her lip in concentration and looking down at the ground. Lauren allowed her time to think.

"I..." Camila looked at Lauren nervously. "I remembered you."

Lauren brought her hand up to her lip, toying with her bottom lip nervously. "You what?"

"I remembered you," Camila said more confidently, reaching up and cupping Lauren's cheek with her hand. "Lolo was in New York. I needed a friend."

Biting her lip, Lauren nodded and looked down at the ground. "Are you happy here, Camila?" she asked, wondering if maybe she wasn't enough for the girl.

"Yes!" Camila smiled widely, taking Lauren's hands in her own and swinging them gently. "I have you. I am happy." She thought for a moment before meeting Lauren's eyes. "Are you?"

Lauren giggled, feeling relieved from Camila's response. "Of course I am," she crinkled her nose playfully. "I have you, I am happy," she repeated what Camila had just said. Camila realized this and giggled.

"Thank you for being my friend, Lolo," Camila pulled Lauren into a tight hug, taking the older girl by surprise. Lauren felt her heart melt right then and there, and she wrapped her arms around Camila gently.

"Thank _you_ for being _my_ friend, Camz," Lauren smiled as they pulled away from the hug. "Are you going to come inside now?"

Camila nodded softly. "We will watch Friends," she declared, shuffling past Lauren and into the apartment. Laughing, Lauren followed her into the living room, where Camila was already picking out an episode.

The other girls joined them halfway through the first episode. Halfway through their third episode, Ally fell asleep. By the time their sixth episode ended, Lauren and Camila were the only ones awake.

"Camz," Lauren giggled quietly when she saw Camila grab the remote to pick another episode. "We've watched six episodes already, I think it's time for bed."

Camila furrowed her eyebrows and set the remote back down.

"Do you think you can take a shower first?" Lauren asked, realizing that if Camila hadn't been given a change of clothes, she most likely hadn't been given an opportunity to shower, either. Camila nodded softly.

"Lolo's pajamas?" she asked, tilting her head to the side with a hopeful smile on her face. Lauren giggled.

"Sure," Lauren got up quietly and held her hand out for Camila, who took it gently and pulled Lauren up the stairs. Once they reached the bathroom, Lauren handed Camila a towel and left a change of clothes on the sink.

"I'll be right across the hall, okay?" she said, squeezing Camila's hand. The smaller girl nodded in understanding, and Lauren closed the bathroom door quietly before slipping into her bedroom.

She heard the squeaking sound that indicated the shower was turned on just as she lay back on her bed. Having a moment alone made her realize how relieved she truly was. And just how painful losing Camila had been.

It scared her tremendously, knowing how much control one person could have over her emotions. But she trusted Camila.

Before Camila, Lauren had been considerably closed off. Her parents had always told her that she was in too much of a rush to grow up. Maybe Camila was exactly what she needed. The girl made her do things she never imagined she'd ever do. And surprisingly, she liked it.

About fifteen minutes later, she was brought out of her thoughts when her door slowly creaked open.

"Knock knock," Camila whispered, standing in the doorway. Lauren lifted her head, feeling her breath catch in her throat when she saw Camila. The smaller girl had on one of Lauren's oversized band shirts, and a pair of boxer shorts underneath.

"Who's there?" Lauren giggled. Camila smiled widely, padding into the room and closing the door quietly so she wouldn't wake the other girls. Walking over to the bed, Camila handed Lauren a hairbrush, which caused the older girl to raise an eyebrow.

"Braid, please?" Camila crawled up onto the bed, sitting cross legged. Lauren couldn't help but smile and she nodded softly. Patting the spot in front of her, Lauren began brushing through Camila's hair gently once she scooted backwards.

"Lolo?" Camila said softly, keeping her head still as Lauren began to section off her hair.

"Yeah?" The green eyed girl asked.

"Am I bad?"

Lauren sat up straighter, pausing what she was doing and tilting her head to the side. "What?"

Biting her lip, Camila turned around to look at Lauren and looked down at her hands. "They think I am bad," she said softly, lacing her fingers together.

"Who does?" Lauren asked, reaching out and placing her hands around Camila's. She could tell the younger girl was feeling ashamed of something, and she intended on finding out what.

"Everyone."

"I don't," Lauren said softly. She shook her head and laced their fingers together. "Out of everyone I've ever met in my entire life, you are the furthest from bad. I promise." She held out her pinkie, but Camila didn't move.

"I killed him," Camila shook her head, sending droplets of water flying around them. "I am bad."

"Your uncle?" Lauren asked carefully. She'd never exactly addressed the topic with Camila. The smaller girl looked up and met Lauren's eyes, nodding hesitantly.

"C'mere," Lauren whispered, pulling Camila into her side and ignoring her wet hair. "Do you want to tell me what happened?" she asked cautiously. She felt Camila take a deep breath.

"He hurt me, Lolo," she said quietly, looking up at Lauren with a look in her eyes that begged for forgiveness.

"I know, baby," Lauren nodded softly and ran her fingers up and down Camila's arm to soothe her. "What happened?"

"I was bad. And he was angry," Camila clenched her hands into fists and pressed them into the bed. "There was a gun. I was scared, and I tried to stop him." The smaller girl took a deep breath and Lauren squeezed her shoulder reassuringly.

"I did not mean to hurt him. I do not like hurt," Camila shook her head quickly, and Lauren reached out, cupping her cheeks to stop her.

"It is not your fault, Camila, do you hear me?" she pressed her forehead against the smaller girl's and looked her straight in the eyes. Camila nodded slowly, shocked by Lauren's reaction.

"All of that stuff that happened to you, that is not your fault. I promise. I'll promise a million fucking times if it will help you realize that," Lauren shook her head, pulling Camila into a hug and holding her tightly.

"And I'm so sorry I couldn't keep you from going through all of that. But I'm going to do everything I can to keep you safe from now on, I swear," Lauren took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down.

"Thank you," Camila whispered, resting her head on Lauren's shoulder. For some reason, Camila's words reminded Lauren of the Camila she'd known in high school, and she shivered.

"I have something for you," Lauren remembered, jogging across the room to grab her backpack. Camila watched her questioningly from the bed.

The moment Lauren pulled the stuffed dog from her backpack, Camila's face lit up. She scrambled off the bed, taking the yellow toy into her own hands and smiling widely.

"Sunny!" she hugged it to her chest and looked up at Lauren. "You saved him."

Lauren giggled and walked back over to the bed. Camila crawled up as well, sitting down to Lauren and holding the stuffed animal in her lap.

"You remember it?" Lauren asked, pointing to the toy. Camila nodded.

"Yes. He was mine," she held the dog up for Lauren to see, before setting it down at the foot of the bed. "How did you find him?"

"I, uh," Lauren swallowed hard and pulled her bag up on the bed next to them. "I had to go back to your house... while you were gone." She pulled Camila's old journal out and sat it in front of her. Camila stared at it blankly.

"What is that?" she asked, running her fingers over the leather cover.

"You don't remember this?" Lauren asked, flipping the journal open and pointing to one of the many pages with writing on it. "This was your journal. At least, before the car accident."

"I do not remember," Camila hung her head down.

"Hey, you don't have to be ashamed," Lauren reached out and tilted Camila's chin up so she wasn't looking down. "I don't expect you to remember anything. What's past is past, right? It doesn't matter." She tossed the journal off of the bed.

Camila gazed up at Lauren and smiled softly before yawning. Lauren giggled and raised an eyebrow. "Tired?"

Camila nodded, and burrowed under the blankets without another words. Laughing, Lauren leaned over to turn off the lights and pulled the blankets over both of them. As always, the moment her head hit the pillow, Camila curled up at her side.

"Goodnight, Camz," Lauren whispered. In response, Camila yawned and nodded before pulling Lauren closer to her. Giggling softly, Lauren laid her head on her pillow, falling asleep shortly after. This was the first time she'd gotten much of any sleep in the past week. Now that she was comforted by the fact that Camila was safe, she soon faced the reality of her exhaustion.

She slept soundly for a fraction of the night, but was awoken by a set of nails digging into her arm. She rolled away groggily, lifting her head to see what was going on. The small whimpers from beside her quickly made her realize that Camila was having another nightmare.

"Camz," she whispered, tapping the sleeping girl. No response.

"Camila," she said louder, this time sitting up and shaking Camila's shoulders. The girl continued to cry out, but she was fully asleep. Unsure of what to do, Lauren lay back down and pulled Camila next to her. The small girl's hands immediately clung onto her shirt.

_Steal my heart and hold my tongue._

_I feel my time, my time has come._

_Let me in, unlock the door._

_I've never felt this way before._

_The wheels just keep on turning,_

_The drummer begins to drum,_

_I don't know which way I'm going,_

_I don't know which way I've come._

_Hold my head inside your hands,_

_I need someone who understands._

_I need someone, someone who hears,_

_For you, I've waited all these years._

_For you, I'd wait 'til kingdom come._

_Until my day, my day is done._

_And say you'll come, and set me free,_

_Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me._

Lauren held her breath when she felt Camila stir. The smaller girl's eyes fluttered open and she gazed up at Lauren, a worried look on her face. Instantly, Lauren reached down and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Are you okay?" she asked softly, pulling Camila closer to her. The smaller girl nodded and felt around under the covers until she found Lauren's hands, lacing their fingers together.

"More," she whispered, resting her head on Lauren's chest. A soft smile spread across Lauren's face and she nodded softly.

_In your tears and in your blood,_

_In your fire and in your flood,_

_I hear you laugh, I heard you sing,_

_"I wouldn't change a single thing."_

_The wheels just keep on turning,_

_The drummers begin to drum,_

_I don't know which way I'm going,_

_I don't know what I've become._

_For you, I'd wait 'til kingdom come,_

_Until my days, my days are done._

_Say you'll come and set me free,_

_Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me._

Lauren bit her lip to hide her smile when she realized Camila had fallen back asleep. Taking a deep breath, she pulled the covers back over them and allowed sleep to overtake her for the second time that night.

 


	25. twenty five

"Lolo, look at the sky," Camila prodded the other girl's side, trying to wake her up. Lauren groaned and rolled over. This only encouraged the younger girl. She crawled on top of Lauren so one leg was on each side of her torso.

"Wake up," Camila giggled, poking Lauren's cheek and pointing to the window. "You are going to miss it, Lolo."

"Miss what?" Lauren's raspy morning voice finally filled the silence. She opened her eyes to come face to face with a smiling Camila, already attempting to make her sit up. Lauren groaned, but allowed herself to be pulled upwards.

"The sky," Camila turned Lauren's head and pointed to the window. "It is pretty. Like you. We have to appreciate it, right?" She turned back to the other girl and tilted her head to the side.

Despite having just woken up, Lauren managed a soft smile. She wiped her eyes and sat cross legged, gazing out the window for a few moments.

"I guess it is pretty beautiful, huh?" she laughed softly. Camila nodded, crawling over to Lauren's side and leaning against her shoulder.

"Why don't we go get a better view of it, then?" Lauren smiled softly and stood up. Camila watched her, confused, as Lauren dug through her drawers. The green eyed girl handed Camila a pair of leggings and a sweater. Camila tilted her head to the side.

"Go get dressed and let's go watch the sunrise," Lauren nudged her towards the door. Camila's face lit up and she nodded excitedly, scurrying across the hallway and into the bathroom. Lauren quickly got changed into jeans and a hoodie, pulling a beanie on over her tousled morning hair.

"Knock knock," Camila giggled, standing in the doorway. Lauren crinkled her nose and slipped into her boots before leading Camila out of the bedroom.

"I have a surprise for you, too," Lauren remembered. She pointed to Camila's converse, signaling for the girl to put them on.

"Surprise?" Camila sat down and tugged on her shoes. She eyed the laces questioningly and then looked up at Lauren.

Bending down, Lauren giggled as she began to tie Camila's shoes. "Yeah, a surprise. It's at the park," she double knotted the laces and then helped Camila up to her feet. "C'mon, you'll like it."

"I like you," Camila smiled proudly, grabbing the doorknob. She surprised Lauren by turning around and placing her hands on her shoulders. "There are oceans in your eyes, Lolo. I see them."

Lauren's breath caught in her throat when Camila locked eyes with hers. This girl had a way of evoking the deepest emotions out of her. For someone so innocent, Camila certainly knew what she was doing.

Both girls leaned in at the same time. Lauren wrapped her hands around Camila's waist and pulled her closer. She felt the smaller girl smile against her lips. It was soft, it was sweet, it was gentle. But it was perfect nonetheless.

When the kiss broke, Camila smiled widely. "I want to see the surprise," she looked hopefully up at Lauren, who was still recovering from the kiss. The green eyed girl could have sworn that Camila could hear her heart pounding against her chest.

"I, yeah, the surprise," Lauren cleared her throat. "C'mon, let's go to the park."

Camila smiled excitedly and grabbed onto Lauren's hand, tugging her towards the door. Giggling, Lauren followed the small girl, making sure to lock the apartment door behind them.

"Slow down, Camz," she laughed, squeezing Camila's hand and slowing her to a walking pace. "It's not going anywhere."

"What is it?" Camila asked as they stepped onto the elevator. Lauren grabbed Camila's hand just as she was about to push the wrong button on the elevator.

"Press this one," Lauren tapped the correct button, and Camila obeyed. "And you can't know yet. That would ruin the surprise."

"Oh," Camila giggled. The elevator lurched downwards and the small girl instantly clung onto Lauren.

"It does that sometimes," Lauren wrapped an arm around Camila to comfort her. "Don't worry. See?" she motioned to the doors as they opened to reveal the ground floor of the building. Camila sighed in relief and pulled Lauren out of the elevator, through the lobby, and into the cold morning air.

"Cold," Camila shivered instantly. Noticing this, Lauren giggled and pulled the smaller girl into her side, keeping an arm wrapped around her waist. Camila hummed contently.

"C'mon. We'll walk around the whole park," Lauren led them towards the park entrance, knowing the surprise would be at the very end. Camila smiled up at Lauren and crinkled her nose.

"The whole world is sleep," Camila observed, looking around the empty park. Lauren laughed and ran a hand through her hair.

"Well yeah. I would be too if _someone_ hadn't woken me up," she teased. Camila raised an eyebrow and tilted her head to the side. "That's you," Lauren explained, poking Camila's nose. The smaller girl giggled and hid her face in Lauren's shoulder.

"Lolo, I have a question," Camila stopped walking suddenly. Lauren grew worried, turning around to face Camila and taking both of her hands in her own.

"I'm listening," Lauren nodded, telling Camila it was okay to go on. The smaller girl's eyes flickered down to the ground, and then back up to Lauren. Camila bit her lip.

"Why did I scare you?" she tilted her head to the side slowly. Lauren grew even more confused.

"You never scare me," she laughed nervously and squeezed Camila's hand. Camila shook her head and shuffled her feet on the gravel pathway, frustrated with herself for not being able to get her words across.

"No, no Lolo," she shook her head and took a deep breath. "I mean... you were scared, of me. When I came here," she turned and pointed to the apartment building across the street.

"Camila, I wasn't scared of you then, and I'm not scared of you now," Lauren bit her lip. "What are you talking about?"

"You..." Camila sighed and let her hands fall to her sides. "You did not... talk to me, or... or smile at me," she pointed to Lauren's lips. "Why?"

Lauren's mouth formed an 'O' shape. She looked down at the ground nervously and back up at Camila, who was glancing up at her hopefully.

"Do you really want to know?" Lauren asked, biting her lip and hoping Camila would take back her question. She nodded, and Lauren sighed. Leading them both over to a bench a few steps away, she sat down and took a deep breath. Telling Camila the truth hadn't been her ideal plan, but she also didn't want to hide it. Plus, part of her was curious if Camila remembered any of what she had done.

"I wasn't scared of you," Lauren confessed, reaching out and taking one of Camila's hands in her own. "I was mad at you."

Camila's eyes widened and she sat up slightly. "Mad? Was I bad?"

Lauren didn't respond, instead she looked down at her hands and continued talking. "Do you remember me in high school?"

Camila tilted her head to the side and looked up at the sky, as if she were trying to remember. After thinking for a few moments, she looked back to Lauren and shook her head slowly.

"Okay, well," Lauren took a deep breath. "You did... something. To me. And it was mean."

"Mean?" Camila bit her lip.

"Yeah," Lauren glanced up at Camila, noticing the worry in her brown eyes. "You outed me in front of the whole school."

Camila stared at her blankly.

"You told everyone in the school I liked girls. Before I was ready to tell them that," Lauren tried to explain it in a way that Camila would understand. She saw understanding wash over Camila's features.

"Oh," Camila stood up and shook her head. "Stupid," she balled her hands into fists and brought them up against her forehead, continuing to shake her head.

Lauren quickly stood up and pulled Camila's hands away from her face. "Hey, Camz, look at me," she said once Camila squeezed her eyes shut.

Slowly, Camila looked up at Lauren. "I am bad," she whispered, talking a step backwards and shaking her head.

"You are not," Lauren pulled Camila closer to her despite the girl's attempt to move backward. "You're not bad, listen to me, okay? Look me in the eyes."

"Your uncle is bad. He put you up to it, okay? You had no choice," Lauren slowly took a step towards the bench once more, pulling Camila with her. "I didn't know that at the time. If I had, I wouldn't have been mad at you. I would have been mad at _him_."

She sat down slowly, urging Camila to do the same.

"I am sorry," Camila swallowed hard and hung her head down. "I am sorry, Lolo."

Lauren's heart dropped into her chest. The words she had wanted to hear Camila say all those years had finally been spoken, but she felt utterly horrible. Shaking her head, she reached forwards and cupped Camila's face in her hands.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, okay?" she said quietly, but still with finality in her voice. "Everything bad that has happened to _both_ of us has only brought us here." She pointed between them. "And we're good now, right?"

Camila nodded slowly. Lauren felt her heart break when she saw a tear roll down Camila's cheek.

"I forgive you, by the way," Lauren whispered, folding her legs on the bench underneath her and pulling Camila into her side. "I forgave you long before this, actually. I think I forgave you the day you crawled into bed with me after you had a nightmare."

"I am sorry, Lolo, I am very sorry," Camila mumbled, burying her head in the crook of Lauren's neck.

"Camila, you don't have to apologize," Lauren bit her lip and looked down at the smaller girl. Maybe telling her the truth was a bad idea.

"You have a good heart," Camila whispered, looking up and Lauren and studying her face intently. A few moments of silence passed between them. Camila then reached up and pressed the tips of her fingers against Lauren's lips.

"And ocean eyes," she whispered, moving her hand away and leaning in to kiss Lauren gently. When Camila pulled away from the kiss, Lauren only snaked her arms around the girl's waist and pulled her back into another kiss.

"You..." Lauren whispered once they pulled away from the kiss, gazing into Camila's eyes. "Have a beautiful soul," she finished, reaching out and tucking a loose strand of hair behind the girl's ear.

"Me?" Camila pointed to herself. Lauren giggled and nodded.

"Yes, you. Who else would I be talking to?" she raised an eyebrow. Camila looked around the park and shrugged her shoulders, which made Lauren laugh even harder.

"Do you want to keep walking?" Lauren asked, looking down at Camila. "There's still a surprise waiting for you."

Camila looked up slowly as a small smile spread across her face. That was enough of an answer for Lauren, who rose to her feet and held out her hand for Camila.

"Thank you, Lolo," Camila said quietly, taking the girl's hand as they continued their walk around the park.

"For what?" Lauren kicked a pebble on the asphalt. Camila giggled and did the same, watching the small rock bounce along in front of them.

"Being my Lolo," Camila hummed, kicking another pebble and nearly tripping over her own two feet. Lauren quickly grabbed her to keep her from falling, and both girls laughed.

"What do you mean by _your_ Lolo?" Lauren asked curiously, biting her lip.

"My Lolo," Camila raised an eyebrow at Lauren. Her answer alone was sufficient for her, she didn't understand what Lauren meant.

"Do you know what a girlfriend is?" Lauren asked.

"Yes," Camila nodded once. "You."

Lauren's heart skipped a beat and she nodded slowly. "Well, alright then," she laughed softly. "Easy as that?"

"Yes," Camila smiled widely. "You and me, right?"

Lauren smiled, squeezing Camila's hand. "Me and you," she nodded once. Camila clapped her hands excitedly. Lauren noticed how close they were getting and stopped walking.

"Do you trust me?" she asked, walking up behind Camila and covering her eyes. Camila tilted her head to the side slightly but nodded.

"Walk slowly forwards," Lauren kept Camila's eyes covered, leading her around the corner of the park and positioning her in front of the flowers. "Ready for your surprise?"

"Yes, now?" Camila clasped her hands together.

"Now," Lauren confirmed, letting her hands drop away from Camila's face. The small girl gasped the moment she saw the colorful flowers that lined the small corner of the sidewalk.

Camila turned and smiled widely at Lauren. Without another word, she padded over to the flowers and knelt down in front of them.

Lauren watched as she looked at them all intently. Turning around, Camila reached for the water bottle in Lauren's backpack and made her way back over to the flowers.

"What're you doing?" Lauren asked, watching as Camila opened the water bottle and filled the cap with a few drops of water.

"Feeding them," Camila nodded once, turning the cap over and sprinkling the water on top of the flowers. "Feeding them, and not killing them."

Lauren couldn't help but smile, and she sat down on the bench to watch as Camila continued to water the flowers, one capful at a time.

As Lauren watched her, so immersed in her own world, she realized why she was so drawn to the girl. Camila was mindlessly innocent. She was genuine. There were no ulterior motives to her actions; she did what she wanted to do without questioning herself. In doing so, Camila made herself easy to love. Lauren could easily recognize the inner workings of Camila's mind because she was so open.

Camila loved endlessly. Lauren realized that Camila didn't put up walls to prevent herself from loving. Camila forgave eternally, which hurt Lauren to think that someone would take advantage of that. She decided right then that she'd do everything she could to make sure that didn't happen.

The smaller girl's love of flowers was quite ironic, actually. Lauren considered Camila to be the human equivalent of a flower. In fact, if she hadn't know where Camila had come from, she would have assumed that Camila grew out of a budding flower in the garden.

In the same way that flowers slowly rise back up, even after being stepped on, Lauren realized that Camila would love continually despite the things she'd gone through. Camila was effortlessly beautiful, Lauren knew this for a fact.

The thing that scared Lauren the most, though, was the fear that Camila wasn't aware of her own fragility. She saw how Camila gave and gave without asking for anything in return. She feared someone would come along and hurt the younger girl because of that.

"Thank you."

Camila's voice brought Lauren out of her thoughts. The smaller girl was standing in front of her with the empty water bottle in her hands.

"They are pretty, Lolo," Camila smiled and twirled a piece of Lauren's hair around her finger. "Like you."

"Like _you_ ," Lauren giggled, standing up and pulling Camila into her side. "They're yellow, see?"

"Yes," Camila pointed to the flowers. "I love them." She turned to Lauren, standing on her tiptoes and kissing her cheek. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Lauren smiled softly, wrapping an arm around Camila and kissing her forehead. "What do you say we go get some breakfast now?"


	26. twenty six

"What is out there?" Camila whispered, turning slightly to face Lauren. They'd spent the day together, and were currently lying on their backs, looking up at the sky. Lauren had spread a blanket out in their corner of the park so they could watch the sunset. Which eventually turned into watching the stars slowly dot their way across the sky.

"Out where?" Lauren asked, still staring up at the sky. Camila pointed upwards.

"In the sky. There has to be more, right?" The smaller girl studied Lauren's face once more. She found the older girl much more interesting than the stars.

"No one knows," Lauren finally turned to look at Camila, earning a soft smile from the girl. "I think that's what makes looking up at the stars so magical. There's so much out there that we don't know about yet."

"It is scary," Camila scooted closer to Lauren and laid her head on her shoulder.

"Nah," Lauren shook her head. "We're safe down here, Camz," she snaked an arm around Camila's waist and gazed back up at the sky. "The stars just remind us that we're not alone."

"I am not alone," Camila nodded once. "I have you."

"You have me," Lauren confirmed, smiling softly at Camila.

"And you have me," Camila smiled widely and turned over to her side, propping herself up with her elbow so she could study Lauren's face. "You and me, right?"

"Me and you," Lauren nodded once and winked at Camila. The smaller girl giggled and let her hair hang down in front of her face.

"Hey, don't do that," Lauren laughed softly and reached out to tuck Camila's hair behind her ear. "Don't hide your beautiful face."

"I am beautiful?" Camila tilted her head to the side, as if beauty was a foreign concept to her. Lauren raised an eyebrow and turned so she too, was now on her side.

"I think everyone's beautiful," she began, reaching out and twirling a piece of Camila's hair around her finger. "But there's just something about you that makes you special," Lauren smiled softly. "Special to me."

"I am happy here," Camila sighed softly, turning back over on her back and looking up at the sky. "It is a new feeling, but I do like it."

"It's a new feeling?" Lauren bit her lip, thinking back to Camila's old journal entries. The girl had constantly wished for happiness, hoping that some day in the future she could find it.

"Yes," Camila nodded, continuing to gaze up at the stars. "Before... there were bad things. And bad people. It was hard to be happy," she turned to Lauren and pursed her lips. "But there is happiness here, I have found it."

Lauren's breath caught in her throat when Camila reached out and placed her hand above Lauren's heart. "There is happiness here. With you," Camila smiled contently. "I am home."

"Home?" Lauren asked, finding it hard to form a coherent sentence. She was thankful it had grown dark, so the smaller girl couldn't seen the overwhelming blush on her cheeks.

"Yes, home," Camila nodded. "I looked for a home. Before you," she sat up and turned so she was facing Lauren. "But I could not find it. Because even happy houses have sad people, did you know that?"

Lauren nodded softly, beginning to understand what Camila meant.

"I did not understand how happy houses could have sad people," Camila continued. Lauren reached out and took the small girl's hand in her own.

"I thought a happy house could be a home. But if there were sad people, I could not find home," Camila thought for a moment and looked down at their hands. "But I found you." She traced her eyes up to Lauren's face.

"You are not a house. But you are a home, Lolo. Did you know that?" Camila tilted her head to the side and innocently traced her fingers up Lauren's arm. "My home. I found it here."

Slowly, Camila reached up and placed her hand back over Lauren's heart. "My home has a heart. I can feel it, and I have seen it." With her other hand, she reached up and cupped Lauren's cheek, studying her face for a few moments.

"My home has a breathing heart and ocean eyes," Camila smiled softly.

It was as if the butterflies in Lauren's stomach would never cease. The dark haired girl reached up, placing her hand on top of Camila's, overtop of her own heart.

"If you found your home," Lauren started, lifting Camila's hand off of her chest and placing her hand over Camila's heart. "Then my home found me."

Camila's lips parted into a smile, making Lauren laugh softly. The smaller girl nuzzled back down into Lauren's side and sighed contently.

"I am so happy, Lolo," she mumbled into the crook of Lauren's neck.

"And I'm so happy that you're so happy," Lauren giggled, feeling her heart swell up at the moment they were sharing. "You've been talking a lot more lately, have you noticed that?"

Camila lifted her head and furrowed her eyebrows together. "What do you mean?"

"I can't explain it... you've just... you've been making a lot of progress since you've first got here. You're learning a lot, yeah?" Lauren bit her lip. Camila nodded softly.

"That's a good thing, Camz," Lauren laughed quietly and ran her fingers up and down Camila's arm. "That means you're starting to express yourself more. That's good. I want to know what you're thinking."

"I want to kiss you," Camila whispered. Lauren nearly jumped when Camila spoke. "That is what I am thinking."

"Nothing's stopping you," Lauren giggled. Camila crinkled her nose and looked down shyly.

"Don't be shy," Lauren laughed softly and turned Camila's chin so they were facing each other once more. Leaning in slowly, Lauren connected their lips in a soft, gentle kiss. When they pulled away, Camila smiled widely and tangled herself back up in Lauren's side.

Their kisses never lasted more than a few seconds, nothing too deep. Lauren wouldn't allow that. She didn't want to take advantage of Camila. She could wait. They had all the time in the world.

Silence overtook both the girls as they stared up at the sky, exploring the endless universe above them with their eyes. Lauren turned her head slowly, studying Camila instead of the sky. The smaller girl was much more enchanting.

"Sing," Camila caught Lauren looking at her and smiled. "Can you sing, Lolo?"

"Only for you," Lauren leaned over and kissed Camila's temple.

_Look at the stars,_

_Look how they shine for you,_

_And everything you do._

_Yeah they were all yellow._

_I came along,_

_I wrote a song for you,_

_And all the things you do._

_And it was called yellow._

_So then I took my turn,_

_Oh what a thing to have done._

_And it was all yellow._

_Your skin,_

_Oh yeah your skin and bones,_

_Turn into something beautiful._

_You know, you know I love you so._

_You know I love you so._

Lauren turned her head to glance at Camila when the girl didn't respond once the song was over. A soft smile spread across her face when she saw the girl's eyes had closed and her chest was rising and falling slowly. She'd fallen asleep.

"I didn't know I was that boring," Lauren laughed softly to herself, peeling Camila's sleeping figure off of her and rising to her feet. She brushed off her jeans before bending back down and gently picking Camila up. The girl remained asleep as Lauren tossed the blanket over her shoulder and began walking back towards the apartment.

Camila stirred slightly when Lauren turned around and pushed through the door to their apartment. Mumbling something inaudible, she buried her head in Lauren's chest and sighed heavily.

"Wanna walk on your own?" Lauren raised an eyebrow. Camila turned her head and gazed up at Lauren groggily.

"No," she giggled, hiding her head back in Lauren's neck.

"You're lucky you're cute," Lauren teased, sliding the blanket off her shoulder and kicking it into the corner by the door. Slipping off her shoes, she adjusted Camila in her arms and carefully made her way up the stairs.

Judging by the lack of light in the hallway, all their other roommates were already asleep. Lauren quietly used her hip to push the bedroom door open and made her way across the dark room. Lying Camila in her bed, the smaller girl immediately curled up into a ball and squirmed under the covers. Lauren giggled at her actions.

"C'mon Lolo," Camila mumbled, lifting her head and squinted groggily at Lauren. The older girl bit her lip in thought for a moment.

"I've got some homework to finish first," she said, rummaging around in her drawers and pulling out a large canvas. "You go ahead and get some sleep, I'll be up in a little bit."

Camila held out her hands and motioned for Lauren to come closer. Once Lauren was within her reached, she cupped Lauren's cheeks and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Goodnight, Lolo," she hummed, turning back over in the bed and burying herself under the covers. Blushing, Lauren whispered a soft goodnight before grabbing her canvas and leaving the room.

Yawning, Lauren positioned herself at the easel downstairs, pulling up a chair and propping her canvas up.

She never did end up going back to bed. She worked all through the night, not even realize the quickly passing time. Lauren was only brought out of her intense zone of concentration when she heard soft footsteps coming down the steps.

Wiping her eyes, she quickly turned the canvas around and looked behind her. It was only then that she realized the sun was shining through the windows, letting her know that the night had completely passed her by.

A yawning Camila slowly padded her way over to Lauren, studying the older girl in confusion. "Where were you?"

"Working on something for class," Lauren's voice rasped. She cleared her throat and motioned for Camila to come closer. The smaller girl obliged, walking over and sitting in Lauren's lap.

"Tired?" Lauren raised an eyebrow when Camila sighed and laid her head on Lauren's shoulder. The smaller girl nodded slowly and mumbled something inaudible. "What?"

"I am hungry," Camila lifted her head and crinkled her nose. Lauren giggled and kissed her forehead.

"I think we can fix that," Lauren sat up and walked into the kitchen. Camila followed eagerly, climbing up onto the island and watching as Lauren set a pan on the stove.

"How'd you sleep?" Lauren asked, cracking two eggs into the pan and turning the burner on. Camila shrugged and stretched out her arms.

"I had a dream about you," she admitted, smiling shyly. "We were in the stars."

"The stars, eh?" Lauren laughed softly, scrambling the eggs in the pan with a spatula. "That sounds like a good dream."

"It was good because you were there, Lolo," Camila giggled and slid off the counter, walking over to where Lauren stood and watching her as she slid the eggs off of the pan and onto a plate. Camila jumped when the toaster beside her dinged and two slices of bread popped out.

Lauren giggled at Camila's reaction. She tossed the toast onto the plate and quickly spread strawberry jelly over both of the slices.

"Breakfast for you, my princess," she said playfully, handing the plate to Camila. The small girl looked down shyly, but not before Lauren saw the pink tint of her cheeks.

"C'mon," Lauren laughed, grabbing an apple from the counter and leading Camila over to the kitchen table. Camila sat down, studying the meal Lauren had made her before taking a bite out of her toast and humming in approval.

"Good?" Lauren raised an eyebrow.

"Yes. You made it," Camila smiled, giving her a thumbs up. Lauren laughed, taking a bite out of her apple and returning the gesture.

"I've got to get ready for school," Lauren sighed, looking at the clock. "Ally doesn't have class today, though. So you can stay here with her."

"You will come back, right?" Camila looked up, tapping her fork against her plate.

"Of course," Lauren nodded once and reached out to squeeze Camila's hand. "I always do."

As if on cue, Ally's soft footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs. Lauren tossed the core of her apple into the trash can and planted a kiss on Camila's forehead.

"I'm gonna go get dressed," Lauren told Camila, giving Ally a thankful smile before jogging upstairs. She quickly got dressed, going out of her way to find a pastel yellow sweater that she had tossed in the back of her closet. Slinging her bag over her shoulder, she appeared back down stairs about ten minutes later.

"Yellow," Camila chimed, walking over to Lauren and running her fingers down the sleeve of her shirt. "You are pretty," she smiled, taking Lauren's hand in her own.

"And you are too," Lauren laughed softly, ruffling Camila's hair and making the younger girl crinkle her nose. "I've gotta go to class, I'll be back, okay?"

"Duh," Camila giggled, raising her eyebrows.

"Who taught you that?" Lauren laughed, walking over and grabbing her canvas from the easel in the back of the room. She made sure to keep the front hidden from the other girls in the room.

"Dinah," Camila nodded once and gave Lauren a thumbs up.

"Dinah's bad news, isn't she?" Lauren teased, slipping on her shoes. Camila just shrugged and walked over to the door.

"I'll be back," Lauren gave Camila a quick kiss on the cheek.

"I know. You said that already," Camila giggled and shook her head. Lauren made a face at her, laughed softly, and slipped out the door without another word.

The brisk morning air woke her up right away, and soon she found herself jogging into the school building. For once, she was on time, and she had actually remembered her project. She placed the canvas face down in the back of the room and took her seat.

Class went by slowly. Lauren busied herself by doodling flowers in her sketchbook. For once, she used colored pencils to bring them to life. Camila had helped her find the color in things. She was thankful for that.

"You're dismissed for today," her teacher clapped his hands together and turned off the projector. "Lauren, can I see you before you leave?"

Lauren took a deep breath, looking up from her sketchbook. Was he going to scold her for skipping class the week before? She resolved on nodding softly, slowly packing up her things as the rest of the class filed out of the room. Biting her lip, she made her way over to his desk.

Her teacher glanced at the door before running his hand through his hair. "Pardon my language, Ms. Jauregui," he started, flipping her painting over in front of them. "But where the hell did this come from?"

Lauren tilted her head to the side, looking down at the painting she'd finished the night before. In the painting, there was a girl standing by the bank of a pond, looking down into the water at her reflection. In her reflection, though, she was painted in dark colors, radiating sadness. The smallest details showed this. The girl in the reflection wore all black, hid her face behind her hair, and let her shoulders slump down.

In contrast, the girl above the pond was standing up tall. She had on a white sundress, and in her hand she held a small yellow flower. The trees behind her were bright and colorful, and there were clouds in the bright sky above her.

"I, uh, I painted it last night," she bit her lip.

"This is incredibly detailed," he ran his fingers over the canvas. "Normally I wouldn't approve of the mixing of two different medias, but somehow using watercolors and oil paints really worked in your favor, Lauren."

"I, uh, wow," Lauren cleared her throat. "Thank you," she bit her lip.

"Compared to last weeks painting, this looks like the work of a completely different artist," he chuckled. "I have a feeling something changed since we've last seen each other. Am I correct?"

Lauren just nodded slowly.

"Well I hope you hold onto her this time," he gave her a knowing smile. Lauren felt her cheeks turn red at the thought of Camila and looked down shyly.

He pulled a paper out of his desk and began scrawling something down. "I'm transferring you to the advanced class," he folded the paper in half and handed it to her. "It's usually only for juniors and seniors, but you have too much potential, I can't let you continue to sit around and learn things you already know."

Lauren raised her eyebrows and looked down at the paper in her hands, confirming her transfer. "I... wow," she shook her head and breathed in slowly. "Thank you."

Mr. Robertson picked up her painting and handed it back to her. "Life is too short to love with limitations, Lauren. Remember that."

Lauren nodded softly. "Thank you... so much," she held the canvas under her arm and took a deep breath.

"You're dismissed now, Ms. Jauregui. I'll see you around."

Lauren gave him a thankful smile, slinging her bag over her shoulder and quietly slipping out of the classroom.

On her drive home, she turned off the radio and gave herself time to think. So much had changed in such a short amount of time. Camila had come into her life and completely turned it upside down.

If you had told Lauren this would happen a year ago, she would have punched you in the face. But now, it was believable. And it was real.

She knew it wouldn't be perfect from then on. Camila still had a lot of things to process, and a lot of things to work through. Lauren was aware of that. She was more than aware. But more importantly, she was willing to wait.

Maybe that was what had changed. Before, Lauren wanted a relationship for all the wrong reasons. She wanted a perfect relationship. No conflict, no problems; just happiness.

Granted, it was quite an unattainable wish. And she knew that now.

But with Camila, she wanted everything. She wanted to be by her side through the good times _and_ the bad. She wanted to be the one that held her when she cried. She wanted to be the one that made her laugh. Lauren wanted to be a part of Camila's life, for _all_ of it.

It wasn't perfect, but that's what made it perfect. To her.

She pulled to a stop in the parking lot, parking her car and looked up at the tall building. A wide smile appeared on her face when she saw a movement coming from their apartment window. Waving back to Camila, she jogged into the building.

The second she touched her key to the doorknob, the door flew open and Camila smiled happily at her.

"Lolo," she hummed, practically jumping into Lauren's arms. Lauren dropped her bag down and returned the hug, kissing the top of Camila's head and feeling a thousand butterflies erupt in her stomach. The smaller girl sighed contently.

"You came back," Camila smiled softly, pulling away from the hug and gazing up at Lauren.

Lauren nodded and placed a hand on Camila's cheek, running her thumb over the smooth skin.

"I always will."


	27. epilogue

" _Yes_ , mom," Lauren rolled her eyes, looking over at the girl in the passenger seat. "We just left the airport. We'll be there soon."

"You'll see, mom, I told you," Lauren bit her lip and glanced over at Camila. The smaller girl in the passenger seat smiled softly. "Alright mom, I've got to drive. I'll see you soon."

Lauren laughed softly once she hung up, setting her phone in the cupholder and lacing Camila's fingers with hers with her free hand.

"You look nervous," Camila tilted her head to the side slightly, letting her loose curls fall over her shoulder. "Are you nervous?"

Lauren shrugged and turned her attention back to the road, following the familiar route to her childhood home. "A little, yeah. I have no reason to be, though."

"It will be fun, right?" Camila traced her fingers around Lauren's wrist absentmindedly.

"Of course," Lauren smiled. "You get to meet my crazy family." Camila giggled and flipped Lauren's hand over, tracing circles in her palm.

Weeks had passed since Camila's acquittal. The seasons had changed, leaving a light blanket of snow across the ground in New York. In Miami, however, it was practically the perfect temperature. It was comfortable outside no matter what you were wearing.

After she was released, Camila was required to begin routine therapy appointments. At first, the smaller girl had been hesitant. But with ushering from Lauren, and time, the bi-weekly visits began to show progress.

She'd never be back to 100% normal. But as her doctor had said, there was always room for improvement.

One of Lauren's main concerns had been her and Camila's relationship. She talked to Camila's therapist right off the bat, firing question after question at the middle aged woman.

What she'd walked away with was a never ending list of medical terms, which basically explained to Lauren that yes, Camila was capable of love. And a relationship was fine as long as things were taken at a slow pace, and Camila was well aware of where things were going.

Camila was aware. Definitely aware. When Lauren had discussed the future with her, she was met with a babbling Camila, going on and on about what they would name their children, and what color they would paint their house. (Yellow, obviously.)

The thought of spending the rest of her life with Camila gave Lauren butterflies every time she thought about it. But she could wait. The more people she met on a daily basis, the more she realized how much she needed Camila.

And now, here they were. Weeks later, holding hands in the car on the way to Lauren's childhood home. Lauren's mother had invited Lauren and her 'mystery girlfriend' to spend Christmas with them.

So yes, Lauren was nervous. Extremely nervous. She had no idea how her parents would react when they found out who the mystery girl actually was. Because as far as they knew, Lauren still hated Camila with every bone in her body.

"Here we are," Lauren smiled nervously. She squeezed Camila's hand and nodded towards the house on the corner of the street. A group of small children were gathered on the front lawn, kicking around an inflatable beach ball.

"I like it," Camila smiled widely, sitting up straighter to get a better view of the house. Lauren parked the car on the side of the road and took a deep breath, turning to Camila.

"Y'ready?" she asked, biting her lip. Camila nodded.

"Are you?" she rebutted, catching onto the fact that Lauren was more nervous that she had admitted to being.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Lauren crinkled her nose and kissed Camila's hand. "C'mon." She unlocked the car and slid out of her seat.

"Lauren!" A small blonde child squealed, breaking away from the group and running towards the older girl.

"Hey there, munchkin," Lauren laughed, catching the child who practically jumped into her arms. "You got so much taller!"

"Yeah! Mommy says it's cause' I eat my 'bedgetables," the smaller girl giggled and wrapped her hands around Lauren's neck. "Did you know that Santa's coming tonight? He's gonna bring me a b-,"

The smaller child quickly hushed and Lauren raised an eyebrow. She turned around, realizing the girl had been staring at Camila, who stood shyly behind them.

"Mags," Lauren smiled softly and motioned for Camila to come closer. "This is my friend Camila, can you say hi?"

" _Cameeeeeela_ ," Maggie giggled and crinkled her nose. "Hi!"

"Hi," Camila smiled shyly, waving her hand. Lauren smiled at her girlfriend and looked back at the child in her arms.

"Camila, this is Maggie," she nodded to the blonde child. "She's my sister. Well, adopted."

"Her mother was one of my mom's clients at work. She passed away giving birth to her, and my mom wouldn't allow them to put her in the foster care system," she laughed softly and ruffled Maggie's hair. "She's six."

"Oh," Camila nodded once, thinking over what Lauren had just said. "Her hair is yellow," she whispered, pointing to the wavy blonde curls on Maggie's head. 

Lauren laughed and nodded. She set Maggie down on the ground, thinking she would rejoin her cousins on the front lawn. Instead, Maggie grabbed Lauren's hand and tugged her towards the end of the driveway.

"You have to see the chalk drawing I made 'nesterday!" Lauren glanced back at Camila, giving her an apologetic smile before she was practically dragged away by the smaller child.

A few minutes later, Lauren was finally able to peel herself away from the plethora of chalk drawings and make her way back up the driveway. Maggie skipped behind her contently.

Lauren grew worried when Camila wasn't where she left her. She looked frantically around the yard, sighing in relief when she saw her girlfriend surrounded by children, wearing a wide smile on her face.

"Do not kill them," Camila shook her head and gently moved one of the boy's hands away from the flowers. "They will not be pretty if you kill them."

"Hey  _Cameeeela_ , catch!" Maggie tossed a beach ball in Camila's direction. The older girl laughed and hit the ball back. The children squealed excitedly and ran after the toy. It was bounced back in Camila's direction, and soon a game of catch was in full swing.

Laughing softly to herself, Lauren jogged up the front steps and hesitantly rang the doorbell. Might as well get it over with. She glanced back at Camila, who was currently on the ground with a pile of children giggling excitedly on top of her. She had to stifle her laugh when she heard footsteps approaching. The door swung open moments later.

"Oh look! It's Lauren and...." her mother's voice trailed off when she realized Lauren was alone. Or so she thought. Lauren glanced back at Camila, who had just freed herself up to her feet and tossed the beach ball back across the yard.

"Oh my god," her mother gasped under her breath. Lauren's breath caught in her throat when she felt herself being tugged inside, jumping when the door slammed shut behind them.

"You brought a murderer to dinner?!" her mother practically yelled, motioning to the front door. "And where's your girlfriend?"

Lauren bit her lip. "She's not a murderer," she said quietly, glancing out the window worriedly. "And that's her. Camila's my girlfriend."

"Lauren, there's articles all over town about her killing her uncle! You're kidding, right?" Lauren shook her head slowly.

"Mom, I can explain, she's b-,"

"Lolo?!"

Lauren's eyes widened and she made a move to grab the doorknob. She felt her mother's eyes burning a hole in the back of her head and took a deep breath, opening the door.

"Camz, I'm right here," she waved her arm, catching Camila's attention. The small girl sighed in relief and ran over to her girlfriend, grabbing her forearm and standing close by her side.

"Uh, mom," Lauren cleared her throat and tugged Camila inside the house. "I'd like you to meet Camila. Camila, this is my mom."

"Hi," Camila smiled softly, offering a small wave. Lauren held her breath when her mother didn't respond. After a few seconds of awkward silence, she turned back to Camila and squeezed her hand.

"You can go back out and play, I've got to talk to my mom for a little. Okay?"

"M'kay," Camila hummed, giving Lauren a soft smile. The older girl kissed Camila's cheek innocently and watched as she wandered back onto the front lawn. She was instantly surrounded by kids once more, begging her to play with them. Lauren laughed softly, but her laughter quickly faded when she turned back to her mom and saw the look on her face.

"I don't approve of this at all, Lauren," her mother crossed her arms and shook her head.

"Just let me explain," Lauren shook her head and paced back and forth for a few moments. Her mother looked at her expectantly.

"You know about the car accident," Lauren cleared her throat and anxiously ran a hand through her hair. "She doesn't even remember much of high school, and... her uncle wasn't... he was abusive. The whole 'murder' thing... she was trying to protect herself. They think it misfired when she was struggling to get the gun away from him... and...." Lauren looked down at her shoes and took a deep breath.

"This is ridiculous, Lauren," her mother sighed and shook her head. "She's practically psychotic."

"Don't you dare," Lauren's head snapped up, glaring at her mother. "You don't even know her."

"I still don't approve of this," her mother crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at Lauren.

"Well you better deal with it," Lauren snapped. She'd never been one to talk back, so her words had even surprised her. Her mother didn't respond. Lauren didn't let her. The door slammed behind her before her mother had a chance to protest.

Lauren exhaled heavily, running a hand through her hair and scanning the yard. She locked eyes with Camila, and the smaller girl immediately knew something was wrong.

"Lo?" she tilted her head to the side and jogged over to her girlfriend. "Are you okay? You look sad."

"M'fine," Lauren shook her head. "Just nervous."

"Do you need a hug?" Camila smiled shyly and outstretched her arms. Lauren giggled and wrapped her arms around Camila. The smaller girl hummed contently and kissed Lauren's cheek when they pulled away.

"Are you best friends?"

Both girls jumped, looking down at the smaller blonde girl next to them. Maggie tilted her head to the side, expecting an answer.

"Camila's my girlfriend," Lauren said softly, kneeling down next to Maggie.

"Girlfriend?" Maggie glanced up at Camila and then back to Lauren.

"Yeah..." Lauren bit her lip, trying to think of an explanation.

"Yes," Camila spoke up. "Some girls like girls, and some boys like boys. That is okay. If it makes you happy, it is okay. Right?" She glanced over to Lauren, who was blushing slightly.

"Right," Lauren nodded once.

Maggie looked back and forth between them for a moment, thinking over what they had just said. "Okay!" she smiled, grabbing Lauren's hand. "Come play with me!" She reached over and took hold of Camila's hand as well. "You too,  _Cameeeeela_."

"That was easier than I thought," Lauren bit her lip, glancing back at the door. She followed Camila and Maggie over to the group of kids, greeting her cousins.

-

"Tag!" Camila giggled, hopping out from behind a tree and tapping Lauren's shoulder. The older girl jumped, turning around and clasping her hands over her heart.

"You scared me!" She raised her eyebrows at the giggling girl. "That's unfair!"

"You're it!" Camila crinkled her nose. Lauren shook her head and took a step towards Camila.

"You better run then," she smirked. Camila squealed and took off down the yard, following the group of children running in the same direction.

"Camz, look!" Lauren called. Camila turned around, looking from side to side to try and see what Lauren was pointing out. Moments later, she was practically tackled to the ground.

"Tag," Lauren smirked, holding the girl in her lap and lying back on the grass to catch to her breath.

"That was not fair!" Camila giggled, rolling onto her back next to Lauren. "You tricked me!"

"Payback," Lauren laughed.

"Get 'em!"

Lauren and Camila exchanged glances when they heard a stampede of footsteps in their direction. Before they could react, the group of children piled on top of them, giggling incessantly.

"Choking, not breathing!" Lauren laughed, struggling to push herself into a sitting position. She peeled Maggie off of Camila and tickled the small child into submission.

"You guys are ruthless!" Lauren poked her sister's nose, making Maggie laugh and sit down in the grass next to the other kids.

"You saved me," Camila giggled, standing up and brushing the grass off of her pants. Lauren hopped to her feet as well, running a hand through her hair.

"I guess I won," Lauren teased, taking a step closer to Camila and lacing their fingers together. "I think the winner deserves a kiss," she smirked, turning and pointing to her cheek. Before Camila could reciprocate, though, Lauren's eyes landed on the person standing in the driveway.

"Dad?" she breathed, squeezing Camila's hand to signify for her to stop. The smaller girl pulled back and followed Lauren's eyes to the man in the driveway.

"I'll be right back," Lauren bit her lip, giving Camila an apologetic smile before jogging over to her father.

"I can explain," she breathed, studying his face nervously. "I'm sorry if I w-,"

"I talked to your mother," he said, glancing at Camila. Lauren nodded, biting her lip. This wasn't going to end well.

"I'm sorry," she shook her head and looked down.

"Y'know, I was gonna come out here and talk to you about this," he said, cupping the back of his neck with his hand. "But then I saw you..." he nodded in Camila's direction. "With her. And I guess what I'm trying to say is... I think you're perfectly capable of making your own decisions."

Lauren looked up in shock. "Wh-what?"

"Your mother... give her time. She's just not used to you being so grown up," he continued. "I can't say that I'm completely comfortable with this, but I think everyone deserves a chance, right?"

"Thank you," Lauren let out the breath she'd been holding in. "You'll love her, I promise," she smiled shyly before pulling her father into a big hug.

"I trust you," he chuckled, squeezing her shoulder when they pulled away from the hug. Lauren took her bottom lip inbetween her teeth and glanced behind her.

"Camz," she motioned for the smaller girl. Camila looked up, smiling softly and jogging over to the two figures in the driveway. Lauren snaked an arm around her girlfriend's waist and pulled her into her side.

"Dad, this is Camila," she nodded towards the younger girl. "My girlfriend."

"It's nice to meet you, Camila," her father smiled warmly, extending his hand for Camila to shake. The smaller girl grinned, holding out her fist and looking at him expectantly. Lauren held back her laughter.

"You are supposed to bump it," Camila whispered, moving her fist back and forth. Lauren just nodded at her father, signifying for him to go along with it.

He bumped his fist against Camila's, and the smaller girl made an exploding noise with her mouth, looking at Lauren proudly. Lauren bit her lip, glancing back at her father and studying his face. She breathed a sigh of relief when he laughed softly.

"Your mother made a huge Christmas Eve dinner," her dad chuckled, nodding towards the front door. "I didn't even know that was a thing, honestly." He noticed the nervous look on Lauren's face.

"C'mon girls, I'll take you to the dining room," he gave Lauren a supportive nod. She sighed softly, keeping her arm around Camila's waist and following her father into the house.

"Wait for us,  _Cameeeela_!" One of the younger boys called, forgetting about their game of catch and following the other children into the house.

"The dining room is this way," Lauren giggled when Camila started going up the stairs. "You've gotta meet everyone."

"Oh," Camila smiled and hopped back down next to Lauren, lacing their fingers together and following her down the hallway. "Meet who?"

"My mom's side of the family always comes and stays at our house the night before Christmas so we can wake up and open presents together," Lauren explained, turning the corner and walking into the dining room.

"Laur!" Her brother hopped up from his spot at the table and wrapped his arms around his sister. "You look different."

"Minis the extra human I have attached to me, I don't think I've changed much," Lauren laughed, holding up her and Camila's interlocked fingers. Chris raised an eyebrow, studying the girl Lauren had brought with her.

"Hi," Camila smiled shyly, holding out her fist inbetween them. Chris eyed Lauren questioningly, but bumped his fist with Camila's. She made an exploding noise with her mouth before giggling quietly.

Christ exchanged glances with Lauren. "I like this one," he nodded once in approval. Lauren laughed, crinkling her nose and ruffling her brother's hair.

"I do too, kiddo," she turned to Camila and placed a kiss on her cheek, just in time for her mother to walk in the room with a plate of food. She didn't even glance in Lauren's direction. Lauren swallowed nervously.

"Hungry?" Lauren raised an eyebrow at Camila, who was eyeing the food on the table. Camila nodded and tugged on Lauren's hand, pulling her over to sit down.

"I wanna sit next to  _Cameeeela_!" Maggie giggled, running into the dining room and scrambling to crawl atop the chair next to Camila.

"Looks like someone's made a new friend," A man sitting across the table smiled at Maggie. Camila glanced at Lauren nervously.

"That's my Uncle Gregory," Lauren explained with a soft laugh. She saw Camila's face freeze and quickly grabbed her hand. "He's not a bad uncle, Camz."

"Oh," Camila took a deep breath. Lauren ran her thumb over the back of her hand to try and comfort her. "He is good?"

"Yeah, see?" Lauren turned to face him. "Uncle Greg, this is Camila. My girlfriend." Camila smiled shyly.

"So that's who Dylan was talking about," the man laughed, extending his hand. "He kept going on and on about 'Cameeeela', who was the coolest girl he knew," he chuckled. Camila smiled widely and held out her fist.

"You're supposed to bump it," Lauren laughed, noticing his confusion. He nodded in understanding and bumped Camila's fist, causing the girl to make an exploding noise with her mouth and smile proudly.

"Dylan! Come sit next to me and  _Cameeeeeela_!" Maggie waved to the smaller boy that had just entered the dining room. Soon, Lauren's relatives began filling the empty chairs around the table and engaging one another in conversation.

Surprisingly, everyone seemed more than welcoming to Camila. Except for Lauren's mother, that was. Throughout the entire meal, she would barley look in their direction. Lauren was thankful that Camila didn't notice this.

"How's school going, Laur?" Her father spoke up about halfway through the meal. Lauren took a sip from her drink and shrugged.

"My professor moved me up to the advanced class," she smiled shyly. Camila glanced over at Lauren happily.

"She thinks she is bad, but she is very good," Camila spoke up, twirling her fork around her fingers. "I watch her."

"I think that's a common trait among most artists," her dad chuckled. Lauren crinkled her nose at Camila, who giggled and looked away.

"You better be focusing on your education, Lauren," her mother spoke up for the first time since they sat down. She glanced from Lauren to Camila and raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, she is," Camila spoke before Lauren could. "She is not allowed to cuddle until she does her homework, I said so." Lauren's face grew bright red.

Lauren's mother kept quiet for the rest of the meal, and Lauren had to hold back her laughter over the fact that Camila had unknowingly shattered all of her mother's suspicions.

"Mommy, can me and Dylan go to the creek?" Maggie spoke up, pointing to her empty plate and then to the child sitting next to her. "Please?"

"You can't go all by yourselves, and I don't think a-,"

"I can go," Chris stood up, wiping off his hands. Maggie and Dylan squealed excitedly, hopping out of their chairs and running towards the back door.

"Margaret Jauregui, listen to your brother!" her mother called after her. The small girl hummed in agreement, and moments later the three pairs of footsteps disappeared outside. Lauren laughed softly at their excitement.

Soon, everyone finished their meal and Lauren's mother began carrying plates into the kitchen. Camila got up quietly, wandering into the other room. Lauren quickly followed her, pausing at the doorway.

"Do you need help?" Camila asked shyly, tapping on Lauren's mother's shoulder. The woman turned around and raised an eyebrow at Camila.

"I've got it," she said coldly, turning back around and leaving Camila standing there quietly. Lauren quickly jumped in.

"Let's go outside, Camz," she said softly, grabbing her girlfriend's arm. "It's too nice out to stay cramped up inside." Camila just nodded and allowed Lauren to lead her out the back door.

"She does not like me," Camila said softly once the door closed behind them. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Of course not," Lauren sighed and shook her head. She laced their fingers together and led Camila towards the old swingset in their backyard. "She just need some time."

"We can give her that," Camila nodded once, sitting down on one of the swings next to Lauren. She reached out and found her hand once more, swinging back and forth slowly. "I was just trying to help her."

"I know, Camz," Lauren sighed. "My dad really seems to like you, though. And Chris. And Maggie. And everyone else," she squeezed Camila's hand, making the other girl laugh.

"I never gave you your prize," Camila realized, standing up and walking in front of Lauren with a soft smile on her face.

"My prize?"

Camila nodded, placing her hands on Lauren's knees and leaning down. "Yes. You won tag, so you get a kiss," she giggled softly before leaning in and capturing the green eyed girl's lips within her own.

Meanwhile, two pairs of eyes watched them quietly from the kitchen window.

"She loves her."

Lauren's mother, Clara, whipped her head around to look at her husband. "What?" she raised an eyebrow, worry in her voice.

"Lauren," he nodded, pointing to the two girls on the swings. Camila had sat back down and they were holding hands, giggling about something. "She loves her."

"And how do you know?" Clara put a hand on her hip, craning her neck to get a better view of her daughter.

"I just do," Mike shrugged. "When I first saw her, there was something about the way she looked at that girl. I couldn't put my finger on it at first. But I've never seen her like this with anyone else."

"You're sure?"

"Positive," he nodded once and leaned against the counter.

Sighing, Clara turned to him and ran a hand through her hair. "I just don't want her to get hurt."

"She's old enough to make her own decisions," Lauren's father shrugged. "I'm not too worried. Camila seems like a good kid. I trust my daughter's judgment."

Clara just sighed and turned back to the dishes, glancing at the girls outside once more.

"Do you know what today is?" Lauren drew her bottom lip between her teeth, remembering Christmas Eve also happened to be the day Camila had lost her parents. She couldn't imagine having a tragic accident such as that happen to her on the day before what was supposed to be a happy holiday.

Camila tilted her head to the side slightly and thought for a moment. "Tomorrow is Christmas?" she said questioningly.

"Yeah, but..." Lauren took a deep breath. "It's the anniversary of your parents... their accident..." she bit her lip. Camila thought for a few moments.

"Do you think... they would like me?" She asked quietly. Lauren reached out, tucking a strand of hair behind Camila's ear and nodding.

"Of course they would, silly," she gave her a soft smile. "You're their daughter. And you're a pretty awesome person, too."

"But I am..." Camila looked down at her shoes and shuffled them in the grass while she formed her next words. "I am broken."

Lauren's heart dropped in her chest and she quickly shook her head. "You are far from broken, Camila," she turned slightly and cupped the girl's face in her hands. "Listen to me, okay?"

Camila nodded softly.

"You are  _not_ broken, okay? You're Camila. That's all you are. You can't define yourself with a word that somebody else made up," Lauren ran her thumb over the girl's cheek. "It's up to  _you_  to define who Camila is. And she's not broken."

"Lolo," Camila looked up at the sky.

"I'm not finished," Lauren grabbed Camila's hand to try and get her attention, but the smaller girl was staring up at the sky. A moment later, she felt a raindrop on her arm. Then another, then another, and another.

Soon it was drizzling lightly. Camila giggled and turned back to Lauren, wiping her eyes.

"Lauren!"

Both girls jumped when they heard a scream from behind them. Two figures broke through the woods, running towards them.

"Chris?" Lauren stood up quickly. The rain began picking up speed. Camila shuffled silently behind Lauren just as Chris and Dylan caught up to them.

"Maggie's gone," Chris panted, leaning over and putting his hands on his knees.

"What?" Lauren raised her eyebrows, scanning the yard to see if they were playing a joke.

"I don't know, we turned around and she was gone. We called her name and looked around but we couldn't find her  _anywhere_ ," Chris shook his head and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "You have to help us."

"I've got to tell mom," Lauren shook her head, jogging inside and wiping the raindrops from her forehead.

"Mom? Dad?" she called once she was in the kitchen. She heard footsteps behind her signifying that she'd been followed.

"Lauren, what's up?" her mother hurried into the room, noting the worry in her daughter's voice.

"Maggie's lost in the woods somewhere," Lauren bit her lip. Her father appeared in the room moments later. After explaining to them what she'd learnt from Chris, her father dialed the police on his phone.

Lauren could hear the steady downpour of the rain outside and bit her lip. A clap of thunder made her jump and she immediately turned around to comfort Camila.

But she wasn't there.

Lauren's stomach instantly dropped and she turned to Chris. "Where's Camila?" she asked, holding her hands out in front of her and looking at him desperately.

"I don't know," he shook his head and glanced outside, where the sky was growing darker. "She didn't come inside with us."

"Shit," Lauren shook her head and pushed past him. "Shit, shit, shit," she ran outside, ignoring the pouring rain. Where could Camila had gone? She was just by her side a second ago. This wasn't good.

"Camila!?" Lauren called, standing in the middle of her yard and circling the perimeter. When she didn't get an answer, she took a deep breath and jogged into the woods.

"Camz?!" she cried, trying to make her voice heard over the beating of the rain. "Maggie?!" She pushed her way through the woods, trying to retrace the path Chris and the kids had taken to the stream.

This reminded her too much of the first day Camila had been with them, where Lauren had found her in the woods at the park. Except now, there was more for her to lose.

She continued calling out their names, trying to cover every inch of the woods behind her house. Another clap of thunder sent her scrambling backwards, nearly falling. She grabbed onto a tree to regain her balance.

"Lauren Michelle!" She heard a voice boom over the storm and bit her lip.

"Yeah?!" she called, cupping her hands over her mouth.

"You  _need_  to come back inside!" Her father yelled. Lauren jogged to the clearing of the woods, hugging her arms around her torso when she saw her father waiting for her.

"I can't, I have to go f-," she was interrupted.

"It's not safe to be out here, Lauren, the police are on their way," he grabbed her arm and started leading her inside. Lauren glanced back at the woods, feeling her stomach boiling in anxiety.

A towel was immediately wrapped around her shoulders when they made it back to the house. She shivered and walked back over to the door, watching the rain pour down and drip down the glass windows.

"We have to go find them!" Lauren threw the towel down and turned around, facing her family, who had gathered into the kitchen. "What if someone got them? Or.... Or....?"

She shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut and falling down to her knees. She couldn't lose Camila again. Camila  _hated_  storms. She wouldn't be in one voluntarily. The whistling of the strong wind outside didn't help to calm her nerves, either.

"Honey, you should really sit down," her mother ushered her daughter into the living room, making her sit down on the couch. Lauren took a deep, shaky breath, glancing out the window once more.

She watched her other family members doing the same as she was, watching out the windows for any sign of life. Lauren's hands shook, and she clenched them into fists to try and calm herself down.

Suddenly, the lights flickered, causing the smaller children to squeal. A few seconds later, the entire house was encased in darkness. Lauren inhaled sharply, blinking a few times and looking around the dark room.

"It's okay!" one of her uncles called, shining his phone flashlight around the room. "It's just a power outage. No big deal."

Lauren swallowed hard and buried her head in her knees, willing Camila to be okay. A noise made her whip her head up.

"It's them!" Someone called. Lauren immediately jumped to her feet, running into the kitchen just as someone slid open the glass door. Seconds later, Camila stumbled into the kitchen with Maggie in her arms, falling down to her knees as soon as everyone crowded around her.

Maggie was almost instantly carried off by the adults. Lauren ran to Camila's side, sliding down to her knees next to her girlfriend.

"Oh my god, Camila? Are you okay?" Lauren brushed the wet hair out of her girlfriend's face. Camila was soaking wet from head to toe, shivering violently.

"Y-yeah," Camila nodded slowly, wiping her eyes. "It is c-c-cold," she shivered, teeth chattering.

Without another word, Lauren stood up, scooping Camila into her arms. The smaller girl wrapped her arms around Lauren's neck and shivered.

"What were you thinking?" Lauren asked, carrying her down the hallway and up the stairs. Carefully, she led them to her old bedroom, lying Camila down on the queen sized bed. The room was dimly lit by what little light was left outside.

"I had to help," Camila wiped her eyes. She sat up slowly, wrapping her arms around her torso and biting her lip.

Lauren sighed, walking over to her dresser and pulling out a change of clothes. She laid them on the bed next to Camila and motioned for the girl to lift her arms.

"You could've gotten hurt," Lauren said, peeling Camila's wet shirt off of her torso and helping her slip into a dry hoodie of hers.

"I know," Camila played with the sleeves of the hoodie, thinking for a moment. "But I did not want her to get hurt, either. I had to help."

"Where'd you find her?" Lauren asked, biting her lip and slowly pulling Camila to her feet. She helped the smaller girl step into a clean pair of pajama pants.

"She was hurt," Camila pointed up to her head. "But she woke up when I was carrying her."

"Her head?" Lauren asked. Camila nodded.

"She was bleeding. But only a little bit," Camila made a pinching motion with her fingers and shivered slightly.

"Cold?" Lauren raised an eyebrow.

"Yes," Camila laughed softly. "Very."

Lauren gave her a soft smile, overwhelmingly thankful that both Camila and her sister were alright. She quickly changed out of her wet clothes and into a pair of pajamas, making sure to keep her torso hidden.

A clap of thunder made both girls jump. Camila whimpered, looking around the dark room nervously. Lauren jogged into her bathroom, fishing around in her cabinets until she found what she needed.

She set the candle on the small table beside her bed, lighting a match and holding it above the wick. Once the candle caught flame, she flicked out the match and threw it away. Now the room was slightly better lit.

The second Lauren sat down on the bed, she was pulled closer to Camila, who practically crawled into her lap. Laughing softly, Lauren laid down and Camila immediately laid her head on her chest, curling up next to her.

"Still cold?" Lauren asked, feeling the small girl shivering beside her. Camila nodded slowly, and seconds later Lauren tugged a blanket over both of them.

"Thank you, Lolo," Camila sighed softly, burying her head in Lauren's neck. The older girl ran her fingers up and down Camila's spine absentmindedly.

"M'gonna have to get used to you being more independent, aren't I?" Lauren laughed softly.

"Yes," Camila giggled, moving her wet hair out of her face. "But I will still be yours," she lifted her head, kissing Lauren's cheek gently. The older girl blushed.

"That's all I ask," Lauren poked Camila's nose and laughed. Camila crinkled her nose, turning over and hiding her head in the pillow. Lauren realized she wasn't shaking anymore, and sighed thankfully.

A buzzing sound appeared, just as the lights flickered back on. Lauren sat up and blinked a few times to adjust to the bright light. Just as Camila sat up, the door of the bedroom opened slowly.

"Is she okay?" Lauren's mom asked, slipping into the room and nodding in Camila's direction. Lauren was thoroughly surprised.

"Yeah, just a little shaken up," Lauren smiled softly, taking Camila's hand in her own to comfort the younger girl. "Is Maggie okay? What happened?"

"She said she was playing where she wasn't supposed to and slipped, I guess she hit her head and fell," Lauren's mother sat down on the opposite side of the bed. "Camila must've found her passed out somewhere."

Lauren glanced over at Camila and gave her a comforting smile. The younger girl returned the gesture, crinkling her nose playfully.

"Thank you, Camila," Clara turned to look at Lauren's girlfriend. "I think I owe you an apology."

"It is okay," Camila shrugged. "Thank you, you're welcome."

Clara glanced at Lauren, who just shrugged and giggled. Lauren was surprised when her mother turned back to Camila and held out her fist. Camila tilted her head to the side.

"I thought you were supposed to bump it?" Lauren's mother smirked. Camila's face lit up and she glanced at Lauren before bumping her fist with Clara's and making her signature exploding noise with her mouth.

'Thank you,' Lauren mouthed to her mother, who just gave her an understanding nod.

"I guess I'll see you girls in the morning," Clara nodded, standing up. "Get some rest now, Santa's coming," she laughed, leaning down and kissing Lauren's forehead.

"Goodnight, Camila," Clara smiled, kissing the top of Camila's head and giving her shoulder a comforting squeeze. Lauren's jaw nearly dropped open, and both her and Camila exchanged glances once they were alone once more.

"You really know how to win Jauregui women over," Lauren teased, winking at Camila. The smaller girl giggled shyly.

Lauren fell back onto the bed, tugging on Camila's arm to make the smaller girl do the same. They had just snuggled up against one another when they heard footsteps approaching the door. Lauren groaned and sat up quickly.

"Shhh," the smaller child peered her head through the door and shut it quietly behind her. "I'm a'posta be sleeping," Maggie giggled, looking at the two girls on the bed.

"Hey munchkin," Lauren patted the space on the bed between them for the smaller girl. Maggie smiled happily, crawling next to them and sitting cross-legged. "How do you feel?"

"Good! It's all better, see?" Maggie pointed to the pink bandaid on her forehead. " _Cameeeeela_  saved me," she smiled, pointing to the other girl on the bed.

"I know she did," Lauren smiled, squeezing Camila's hand. "Did you thank her?"

"Oh yeah!" Maggie practically tackled Camila into a hug, giggling quietly. "Thank you,  _Cameeeeela_."

"You are welcome," Camila laughed. Lauren pulled her back into a sitting up position and kissed her cheek.

"Did you know that tomorrow is Christmas? I asked for a bike, and a castle, and a dog, and a horse," Maggie began, counting off her list of presents on her fingers. Lauren yawned, and Camila noticed this.

"You should go to sleep, then," Camila looked at the smaller girl. "Santa is going to come soon, right?" she turned and winked at Lauren, who had to stifle her laughter.

"Right!" Maggie nodded once. "I better go back to bed," she giggled and crawled off the bed. "Goodnight,  _Laaaaaauren_. Goodnight,  _Cameeeeela_." She gave them both a kiss on the cheek, pausing by Lauren's face for a moment.

"I think you should marry her," she whispered, giggling as Lauren's face turned bright red. Without another word, Maggie scurried out of the bedroom and down the hallway.

"M'tired," Camila yawned, laying back down and looking up at Lauren hopefully. "Sing?"

"Only for you," Lauren said softly, leaning over to turn off the light before lying back on the bed next to Camila.

_Take my hand and let go,_

_I just want you to know,_

_You're the only one that pulls me in,_

_You changed everything._

_Like one small shaft of light,_

_Flooding into my eyes,_

_I will never see things just the same,_

_But I'm not afraid..._

_And all I have, doesn't seem so significant,_

_And at the drop of a hat,_

_I could leave almost everything,_

_That I've ever known, so here we go..._

_Step out into the wild,_

_There's a beautiful storm in your eyes,_

_We're perfectly intertwined_

_And if it's quite alright,_

_You could be my way of life._

_Sea salt sits on your lips,_

_Birds fall earthward from cliffs,_

_Thought I couldn't do this but I'm fine,_

_'cause you're by my side._

_And all I have, it doesn't seem so significant_

_And at the drop of a hat,_

_My whole world's getting different,_

_So here we go, off road._

_And we take another step into the truly unknown,_

_Don't know why but it's somewhere that we have to go_

_And it's dangerously wonderful_

_So come on, come on, come on, come on..._

_Won't you step out into the wild,_

_There's a beautiful storm in your eyes,_

_We're perfectly intertwined_

_And if it's quite alright,_

_You could be my way of life._

Lauren finished the song knowing Camila had already fallen asleep. The smaller girl's breathing would slow down and her hands would slowly make their way under the sleeves of Lauren's hoodie.

Something about this time of night made Lauren nostalgic. Everything was calm and quiet, and she could hold Camila in her arms without any interruption. In these moments, she could forget all about the things they had endured for the past few months.

She sighed softly, pressing a soft kiss on the top of Camila's head. The smaller girl smelled like a mixture of the rain and Lauren's shampoo. With a soft smile, Lauren allowed sleep to overtake her.

-

Lauren was awoken by the sound of soft giggling. Before she had time to react, she heard a stampede of footsteps approach the bed. Moments later, she was tackled by a crowd of giggling children.

"Lolo, wake up!"

And Camila.

Groaning, Lauren rolled over, only to be met with Camila, smiling widely. Maggie and Dylan giggled, bouncing up and down on the bed.

"What are you doing up so early?" Lauren turned to her younger sister, ruffling her hair. Maggie giggled and shook her head.

"It wasn't me. It was  _Cameeeeela_ ," Maggie pointed to the brown eyed girl sitting next to Lauren.

"Santa came," Camila leaned down, whispering in Lauren's ear.

Sitting up, Lauren rubbed her eyes and caught sight of the clock. "At six o'clock in the morning?!" she gaped, widening her eyes at Camila. The smaller girl nodded contently.

Before Lauren could say anything else, her bedroom door slowly opened.

"Oh good," Lauren's mom smiled at her. "I thought I was going to have to drag you out of bed. Everyone's awake already, thanks to those three." She nodded towards Camila and the two children, who glanced at one another bashfully.

"Might as well get a head start on those presents, right?" Clara smirked. Maggie and Dylan squealed excitedly, scrambling off of the bed and down the hallway. Camila hopped up to follow them, but Lauren grabbed her wrist before she could.

"We'll be down in a second," Lauren gave her mother a soft smile. Thankfully, Clara didn't question them. Once Lauren's bedroom door was closed again, Camila turned back around, pouting.

"Why did you stop me?" Camila tilted her head to the side and sat down on the edge of the bed. Lauren just smiled and stood up, taking Camila's hands in her own.

"I wanted to give you your present first," she squeezed Camila's hands. The smaller girl's face lit up and she stood up on her tiptoes.

"Where is it?" she asked excitedly, looking around the room. Lauren laughed and shook her head, letting go of Camila's hands and taking a step backwards.

Camila grew confused when Lauren peeled off her hoodie, leaving her only in a tank top. Her eyes widened when Lauren slipped the strap of her tank top downwards.

"Ouch," Camila shook her head, taking step forwards and pressing her fingers underneath Lauren's collarbone. "I do not understand," she said quietly, looking back up at Lauren.

"It's a tattoo," Lauren laughed softly and moved Camila's fingers off of her shoulder. "Remember the day you picked the flowers and I got mad at you?"

Camila thought for a moment before nodding softly. "You said I killed the pretty things."

"I was pretty mean then," Lauren admitted, biting her lip and looking back down at the tattoo. "But this is different." She reached out, taking Camila's hand and placing it back on top of the tattoo.

"Feel that?" she asked, smiling softly. Camila nodded.

"It is your heart," she tapped on Lauren's chest. "Why?"

"They're two daisies, Camila," Lauren pointed to her tattoo. "It's me and you. That way you can have your pretty things."

"Oh," Camila's lips slowly curved into a wide smile, and she traced the outline of the tattoo. "I love it," she giggled, looking up at Lauren slowly.

"You do?" Lauren bit her lip to hide her smile. Camila nodded immediately, tracing the outline of the flowers once more.

"Yes," Camila placed her hands on Lauren's shoulders and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

"I figured it could be like a promise ring," Lauren shrugged. "But I know wearing jewelry bothers you, so I thought it'd mean more if I got something permanent."

"A promise ring?" Camila tilted her head to the side and held up her pinky, remembering her version of a promise.

"Yeah," Lauren giggled, interlocking their pinkies and keeping them intertwined. She swung their hands back and forth gently and studied Camila's face. "It basically means that I promise to stick by your side no matter what happens."

"It's a promise to always be patient with you, even if sometimes it's hard for me to understand. It's a promise to sing to you no matter how tired I am. It's a promise to buy you as many yellow things as your heart desires. It's a promise to hold you through as many thunderstorms that come our way. It's a promise to make  _us_  work."

Camila was smiling like an idiot by this point. She looked down shyly. "Really?"

"Of course," Lauren kissed Camila's forehead and pressed their foreheads together. "It's us, kid. Always."

"You and me?" Camila met Lauren's eyes hopefully.

"Yeah," Lauren whispered. She found herself lost in Camila's eyes for a moment before she leaned in and gently connected their lips.

She felt sparks erupt the moment their lips met, and couldn't help the butterflies in her stomach when she felt Camila smile into the kiss. She pulled away, keeping their foreheads pressed together and gazing into Camila's eyes. It was at that point that Lauren realized this was the happiest she'd felt in a long time.

"Me and you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and there you have it!! yellow is officially finished. ohmygosh this is insane. when i started this fic i never ever ever expected it to get the response it's gotten. thank you for being so kind and supportive. all of your comments make me laugh and cry and you're all so wonderful. 
> 
> (also, pay attention to the song lauren sings to camila. i picked it specifically for the lyrics)
> 
> that being said, the sequel 'blue' is currently in the works! i'm not sure exactly when the first chapter will be posted, but it'll probably be around a week - give or take a few days.
> 
> one of my goals with this fic was to finish a story without having any 'i love you's' or any smut. i just sorta wanted to have an interesting plot without any of the cliche stuff. that being said, who knows what's in store for the sequel? ;)
> 
> i'll be releasing the cover for 'blue' on my twitter sometime soon, so follow me for updates on when the first chapter will be posted and whatnot.
> 
> again, thank you endlessly for all the love you've shown me over this fic. you make me so happy. writing is such an escape for me and it's wonderful to be able to share it with you all. i love you endlessly.
> 
> \- lena (@lenajfc on twitter, txrches on tumblr)


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